Today I started my full liquids and it went VERY well. Got more than enough of my proteins in, I don't understand where people have issues with that, but anyway, I'm laying in bed and my mind starts racing. I'm starting to freak out because now I'm incorporating a little more calories to my diet and I don't want to hit a stall. I know I'm being silly, but I'm honestly paranoid about it. I really want this weight to come off and every time I tried to lose weight, in the past, I hit a stall and I can never break it. I know it won't happen to me again as far as never breaking it, but mentally I'm still afraid of the "what if you don't break a stall If you hit one. This will have all been for nothing. It's going to be like every other time and you're going to stay this way." ugh. Day 8. First real pointless freak out- post op.
Ever since I've been sleeved I can’t stop thinking about food, but not junk gross greasy fattening food (i don't even miss that), I’m talking healthy, delicious, colorful, flavorful food. I’m so excited to start cooking and eating healthy! I can’t stop looking up recipes on different web sites or watching the food network (even though I watched that before surgery but this time I actually want to cook the food) I’m just so excited. Before I hated the thought of cooking, I rarely cooked unless it was pasta or eggs or soup, but now my mind set is totally different and I’m beyond excited to cook not only for myself but for my family and friends! I can’t stop saying how grateful I am to be sleeved!
Today marks my first 10 lbs loss since my surgery on Monday, July 2nd. I was so happy and so excited, but then I began thinking about a lot of things. The lbs are melting off of me, but my best friend who is actually working VERY hard to lose weight without surgery hit a plateau she hasn't been able to move from for a while now. It's not fair and I feel so guilty.
Before this surgery I tried everything to lose weight and I would only lose about 40 lbs then I couldn't lose anymore. I tried for years until I finally decided to have surgery. I know I should be happy and excited for myself, this surgery was the best thing to ever happen to me but I'm so depressed for my friend. She's does everything she can and still isn't seeing results she should be seeing. It's just not fair.
I just needed to vent. I needed to let all this guilt out.