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becky444's Blog

A blog by becky444 in General

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About this blog

Life after 40

Entries in this blog

3 Days Post...

So I got sleeved on Monday, the 18th. What a whirlwind of emotions!I remember thinking as they were prepping me "maybe this isn't such a good idea", then I woke up in recovery...too late! Since then I have felt proud that I went through with it, I have thought (Many times) "what did I do to myself?" but mostly I have felt surreal that it's done and cannot ever be undone. I wish I could say that more of my feelings have been positive, but I think that will change as I start feeling physically

Good To Go!

Yay! My heart is ok! Stupid inaccurate EKG's. The cardiologist looked at it and said that yes, it looks like I had a heart attack. But the echo and the stress test were perfect! No heart disease!   So I'm a go for my Monday sleeve! Today is my last day of shakes, tomorrow is clear liquids, then surgery! Thanks everyone for your support!

No Sleeve?

ok, so Tuesday I got my abdominal ultrasound, which was the last thing I needed pre-surgery. Or so I thought. I got a cal, this morning saying my EKG was abnormal and I needed to come into my primary doctor's office. She sits me down and tells me that my EKG indicates a heart attack in my past! What?!? I have an emergency cardiologist appointment Friday - thank god my primary was able to get me in - to see if I can go ahead with the sleeve Monday. I don't know which I am more upset about..

Back On Track

Well, after my scary slip-up last week, I have been doing great. Hunger way down, have to think about having shakes or hours will go by without wanting one. The relationship seems to be stabilizing, which makes me happy. School just started, but only one class over the summer.   Surgery is 1 week from today. I can't wait! I decided today to skip talking about nerves and fears and talk about something happy...goals!   My goal weight loss is 130 pounds, 13 of which I have already lost.

What Have I Done?

Oh man, I hope I haven't screwed everything up! I'm on day 5 out of 13 days of shakes before the surgery. I was so crazy hungry today, and the shakes just weren't taking the hunger away. I'm stressed and tired. I broke down and made myself some scrambled eggs and toast. No fat - I used butter spray- but I feel a little sick now and I'm freaking out that the surgery is going to be canceled now because my liver will be too big or something. If I've gone through all this for nothing I don't k

Shakes, Shakes, And More Shakes!

So today is day 4 out of 13 of my pre-operative shake diet. The shakes are actually pretty good, I make them with light unflavored soy milk and put fruit in. My hunger has been really managable, but wow! I can imagine I'm going to be seriously bored by the time surgery comes around!   The nice thing is I have lost 13 pounds now since my heaviest (7 in the last 4 days), and everything feels so nice and loose. Physically, I feel better already. It's amazing that I have so little control ove

Whirlwind Week...ugh!

So the past 10 days have been quite crazy. My partner of 12 1/2 years dropped the bomb on me last Sunday that he is thinking of leaving. What?!!? Are you crazy? I'm just about to start my 3rd and final year of grad school, an internship on top of my full-time job, and I'm having surgery in 3 weeks. Coulld you pick a worse time? Needless to say, I was a bit of a wreck that day. Since then, we have done a lot of talking, and are going to try to work it out. That, however, is not the best n

Screw You Hunger!

I woke up today not feeling hungry, which is unusual for me. I tend to eat late at night, so I'm usually hungry in the morning, my own little vicious cycle. But cutting down on the food has really paid off. I was hungry often today, but each time, except meals, I had a piece of fruit and I was ok. I wish I knew that I could keep this up for months on end. This is just like so many good starts in the past. I find myself thinking...maybe I don't need the surgery...look at how well I'm doing.

Feeling Good

So, today was my fourth day in a row of good activity. I have also cut my eating way back. Was kind of hungry, but I ate a lot of fruit to try to overcome that. My original plan had been to do the farewell to food thing, having all my favorites in the few weeks before the pre-surgery diet started, but everything I have been reading hear made me change my mind. I have really come to realize that if I'm going to do this thing, I need to be invested. Since I decided to do the surgery, I just st

Big Decision

So, I'm 40 years old, and have struggled with my weight about 30 of those years. Up and down, up and down. Now, my last "up" has lasted 10 years, and I can't seem to bounce back into the "down" mode. I'm starting to to feel the weight in my joints, and I can't remember the last time I had some real energy. I resisted the surgery for so long, because I felt like a failure if I couldn't do it on my own. Now I realize that the only failure would be if I didn't do all I could to reclaim my life

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