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4 Months Out - I AM NOT the Biggest Loser

I have tried not to be sooo hard on myself. Why?? Because I know the reasons why my weight loss has stalled and I haven't done anything to fix it.   I try to remember that I have already lost 50% of my EW; good thing. But for some reason I was just for sure thinking I would be down 60 lbs in 4 months. NOT. Im only down 43. I don't exercise, I don't meet my protein and fluid goals, I drink my calories AND I graze around my TOM. I think this its self-sabotage because I have failed so many times in the past.   There I said it. Tis done.   Holding myself accountable: I will walk a minimum of 30 minutes a day 5x a week.   I will drink one protein shake each day (ugh).   I will drink one gallon of water each day. I know what needs to be done...now I have to do it!:tongue_smilie:
Bona Fide Diva

Bona Fide Diva

2
 

Clothes & Cakes

I've been losing SLOWLY...I know, I know, I need to up my exercise, DEFINITELY. I also need to watch my carbs and protein.   Since I have been eating "regular" foods it seems I have had this revelation that I can just eat ANYTHING :confused:...not the case.   I had a bbq at my house on Mother's Day and since my birthday was the next day, they bought me a cake:sad0:   My kryptonite...sheet cake. So I ate a very small square probably about an inch and it was oh so delectable....and addictive...They left the cake with me so for 4 days I was cutting just small slivers and devouring them every time I passed the dining room table. Why didnt I throw it away after the festivities? Because I think this sleeve is going to save me from myself...obviously it's not. (not to the degree I need to be saved that is).   So Im 9 weeks out, this past Saturday was my 2 month mark and I had reached 210 lbs. A total of 33 lbs in 2 months. I want to beat myself in the head because I wanted to shoot for 20 each of the first two months but I didnt make it. I know I could have done better; and I know that I will.   The bright side of it all is that my clothes are FALLING off of my arse! LITERALLY. I was dropping my daughter off at daycare and I leaned in to grab something off of the passenger seat and my pants were nearly on the ground. Luckily I did have on a babydoll top so nobody got a "full moon" but boy did I feel the breeze. My work clothes are WAY too big.   Im wearing a size 18 today and they fit, probably how they are "supposed" to fit. I was wearing 20 and 22 pants before most days uncomfortably.   Im actually shooting for 205 before the end of this third month. I'm certain if I nip this behavior, I'll get there.   By the way, here is a photo of me from this weekend. (Size XL dress!) Great party!
Bona Fide Diva

Bona Fide Diva

3
 

Before I Move On

I did not want to post. I lost about 3 lbs total in the last two weeks. The scale was playing with my emotions...DEARLY. I know stalls happen. I was prepared for it. More at the 3-week mark, but from week 6 to 7 and A HALF. Come on! My TOM came and I realized I was also retaining water. It ended today and the scale went down. I still feel like those old habits creep up when PMS sets in. I wanted everything I hadn't thought about in weeks. I gave in a few times too.   Aside from that...I need to learn to pack my meals daily and not allow myself to just "grab something" . The days of doing that are long gone. Although I can still do it, I don't think everything I chose will or is in my best interest. I'm still learning.:cursing:
Bona Fide Diva

Bona Fide Diva

2
 

What Happened to Liquids In - Liquids Out?

Seems like there is NO WAY I'm going to the bathroom (from either end) enough to compensate for the fluids I'm taking in. Maybe I'm holding on to them...not good. Maybe I'm not getting enough.   I'm down 25 lbs as of 5 weeks out. I hope next month I will see at least 3 lbs a week. My clothes sizes are moving but obviously my clothes were just too freaking tight to begin with. Now everything is just baggy. Spring is here and summer is a stone's throw away so I'm not buying any pants for now just some belts.:cursing:
Bona Fide Diva

Bona Fide Diva

0
 

Tastebuds...???

I'm now 4 weeks and a day out! I never thought I would REALLY get this far; having the surgery, surviving and getting to the 4 week mark. BUT I'M HERE!   I'm down 21 lbs; which I can not believe. I got my TOM last week and then when she left I lost about 7 lbs!   I haven't been having any cravings or like when I used to "smell" things I HAD to have it...Not anymore. But I do notice that when I'm eating something if I chew it TOO much it starts to taste bad, or my body or brain is saying "you dont want anymore of that" and I spit it into a napkin. I also find that if I have something that lingers on my tongue I HAVE to scrape it off. I just don't like lingering tastes in my mouth. I thought it could be because my breath isn't in the best shape right now, but I just can't stand the "taste of food". Is it possible? OK most of you have proved it IS. IS IT POSSIBLE FOR ME?:scared0:
Bona Fide Diva

Bona Fide Diva

3
 

Incisions, Accidents & TOM - OH MY!

SO I'm officially on week 3. YEAH! Not really. This has been one heck of a week. I only lost about 3.8 (yes point 8) pounds this week as opposed to 5 each of the previous two weeks. So I automatically assumed it was A STALL! But along comes TOM and since I hadn't seen TOM since January, I was certain I would be retaining something. But the awesome thing is I didn't gain 5-7 lbs like I normally do and I didn't even know it was coming I didn't have any insane cravings at all. Hopefully the scale will start to move in the GOOD direction once this is all over.   Remember I said I thought I was gonna die from an infection...I may not have said that but that's what I was thinking :scared0: Well I did what Dr. Aceves said and VOILA! My scars look like bad acne that I just couldn't stop scratching and the long one looks like a cat got to my belly. All is well on that front, thank goodness.   Today I was involved in a car accident. I was rear-ended taking my daughter to her first day of nursery school. I'm sitting at my desk slumped over. My back hurts really bad and I just hope and pray I'm not going to be putting off exercise anymore. I haven't done enough of it as it is and really don't need the "excuse". But I will go see a doctor just to be safe.   Did I mention I LOVE MY SLEEVE? I've been trying mushies and since it's on the list...I'm going to try some melon tonight. I tried a scrambled egg and it was OK but after about 3 nibbles it just felt like a creepy crawler going down, I didn't like it too much. It didn't come back up so I guess that's a good thing.   The weather is warming up, my tummy is slimming down or at least the back rolls are (these thighs look like they won't go without a fight) and I can't wait to be in full swing with losing.
Bona Fide Diva

Bona Fide Diva

2
 

2 Whole Weeks!

Who da thunk it! It feels like I've had this sleeve FOREVER.   Im not hungry at all, but I have this strange urge to see "what" I can eat. I've licked spoons people. I licked a mashed potato spoon, a chili spoon, a tunafish fork (LOL) and I nibbled a chicken nugget. I dunno why I feel the need. I haven't gotten sick and I was incredibly full afterward, but I just feel like the diet is so boring at this stage and time is ticking S-L-O-W-L-Y.   Im not supposed to be on mushies and I'm really afraid I will break something, but I just feel the need to "chew"? I've read about this but kinda dismissed it like I did when my cousin tried to tell me there was NO SANTA...Yeah right!! I don't believe it. Well believe it. Our heads tell us to do stupid things and if they didn't I'd be willing to bet 50% of us wouldn't be here anyway.   I've been feeling pretty good; I started work today and haven't had a nap yet:thumbup1:     Only other thing(s): Im cold as HELL (if it is cold there). I have the heat on in my office today and I don't want to leave out.
My tape hasn't fallen off and one of my incisions looked ugly this morning. It had some discharge (not smelly) and it looked like if I pulled the tape back any farther it would open there was a little pink (MAYBE TMI...but I was worried). I was told not to worry about this and to keep a watch on my temp and other signs of infection. It doesn't hurt at all, but I'm really squeamish and the fact that I see the pink makes me want to faint:eek:.
I've lost 10 lbs so far. Probably would have been more if I hadn't had an obsession with full liquids and spoon licking. But I'm satisfied, because thanks to my sleeve---I'll never see those 10 lbs again!
Bona Fide Diva

Bona Fide Diva

2
 

One Week Out

OK. :sneaky2: It's been a week. I'm not sure if I'm getting in all my fluids. Should I just get one big cup and measure it out because I sip away and it seems that I haven't put a dent in my intake.   Other than that; I woke up ALMOST sleeping on my tummy, so I'm not in so much pain. Just have to hold on to something when I sneeze or cough hard.   Life at home is a doozy! My daughter wanted Subway. I complied. One night my boyfriend bought home fried chicken and fries, I sipped broth (so hard). I realized that it's only hard because I don't want the food, I'm just used to eating WHENEVER I WANT TO. Whatever I craved I just ate, but not now of course. I'm sure this is what everyone has deemed HEAD HUNGER and it is a challenge.:scared0:
Bona Fide Diva

Bona Fide Diva

3
 

I'm Sleeved

Finally, it's done. I was sleeved on Monday morning. I went first of my group. Thanks to he versed I wasnt nervous at all. I got to the room and I remember my legs being wrapped and the anesthesiologist trying to get an IV in. Around the 5 time he got it. I told him if I weren't under the influence I would be PRETTY mad at him.   After surgery I got back to my room and slept on and off then I woke up and FELT GREAT. I got up and walked around and all and I was feeling so good it was SCARY.   All in all it was a great experience. Later when I should have been sleeping I got nauseos and found out what DRY HEAVES really were. I did that for about an hour before I realized that the heaves were considered nausea and "theres an app for that". Once I got that I was doing fine. When the next morning hit. Dr. Aceves commented and said that I looked very good for a Day 2 patient. I appreciated that. I felt really good too. I just hope it continues!
Bona Fide Diva

Bona Fide Diva

5
 

I Made it to Mexicali!

You guys were not kidding when they say you get whisked off when you get to Hospital Almater. There were three of us and we were done in a little over an hour.   I just had my "last supper" and am trying to keep calm in my room. I would love to take the happy pill RIGHT NOW, but I'm trying to wait for it to get a little later so I don't wake up in the middle of the night and start pacing.   I met a group of lovely people and since I am alone it is great to have SOMEONE here that I know.   Chrystal and Les will be my sleeve buddies tomorrow and I JUST CAN'T WAIT.   My next post should be well after I'm out of recovery.:biggrin0:
Bona Fide Diva

Bona Fide Diva

2
 

It's Time

:biggrin0:   I can remember them telling me it was time to have my first daughter...they just said IT'S TIME.   Now It's My Time. Im on my way to San Diego in 4 hours and then on to Mexicali. I've been so anxious; but not nervous at all.   Now I'm a little nervous, but I'm sure once I get there I will be fine.
Bona Fide Diva

Bona Fide Diva

1
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