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About this blog

I want to use this blog as a place to vent, share, and journal everything. It may not all be related to my weight loss so just be prepared for ramblings.

Entries in this blog

 

A little update

Our trip to WV for Thanksgiving was okay overall. There were ups and downs, and of course, family drama ensued. I expected it, but I'm tired of it.   Anyways, yesterday, I went to our last bowling game of this season, and then we all went out to lunch to the Olive Garden. I had soup and salad YUMMY! ! ! I crossed my legs under the table, and felt a huge pain in my right calf. I went to the restroom, and noticed a huge knot on my upper calf. The bruising was insane. So, I had one of the other ladies look at it, and she said it looked like a blood clot. I panicked, and called John. We headed to the ER. They did an ultrasound, but said it wasn't a clot. I went down to see my surgeon because I went on base to the ER. Anyways, I knew the ER there has shady reviews from other military spouses, but I thought it would be better to go there since they have all of my records. My surgeon's assistant said that is definitely a clot, and that I need to do hot compresses, and stay mobile. He thinks it's from the extensive driving we did to and from WV last week. We spent about 36 hours in the car. Least to say, I have learned my lesson about taking breaks while driving.   I have a follow-up with my PCM today at 1pm, and we'll see what he says. They gave me 2 aspirins, and a Percocet in the ER. My leg feels better today, but the bruising looks worse.   Everything will be fine. I'm not too upset about it anymore. Just the thought of being in the hospital again totally freaked me out.   I'm so glad this week is almost over ! ! !
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

7
 

Happy New Years

WOW, I can't believe it's 2010, and I can only hope this year is going to bring many blessing to all of us.   As for our NYE out, we had a great time. John and I went out to dinner last night for NYE. We had Logan's steakhouse. John ordered a steak entree with 2 sides, and with their menu, if you order an entree you can order 1/2 rack of ribs for $6. I'm such a cheap date ha ha ha. Anyways, I decided to have a glass of wine, and it was so yummy, but I think I drank it too fast, and I actually caught quite a bit of a buzz. My lips were tingly, and my arms felt heavy. It wore off about 1/2 hour later, and I just felt relaxed.   I ate 2 ribs with lots of barbque sauce, 4-5 bites of his mac-n-cheese (do you see a pattern I love mac-n-cheese), I ate part of the inside one of their yummy yeast rolls, and then drank the rest of the wine after my dinner settled.   We then ventured to a local sports bar/grill, where I had 2 more glasses of Chardonay, and least to say I was feeling quite fabulous, hence the goofy pics on my Facebook ha ha ha.   I woke up this morning to a 1lb increase on the scale. I figure it'll drop back off once I get more fluids in my system considering I slept like a log until 11:30 this morning.   I got up this morning, and made pancakes for John, Caysen, and I always make an extra pancake for the Hank monster.   Today to celebrate the new year, we'll have cabbage rolls (John's favorite, I've never had them), and I'm boiling the cabbage right now. IT STINKS ! ! ! We'll also enjoy some black-eyed peas for good luck. Pretty much, we'll spend the day watching college football bowl games, relaxing in our PJ's, and just enjoying each other's company.   Here's some pictures of us last night. John thought I looked "hot" last night, he is so sweet. Of course, by the 2nd glass of wine, I was looking pretty rough.   Ignore that icky spot on John's eye, it's a reflection from one of the neon signs in the bar ! ! !     3rd glass of wine is well on board by this time, notice the blurriness much.
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

3
 

Struggling emotionally

John has been home for a couple of months, and I'm struggling emotionally. Not because of my husband, but because of my son, Caysen. It makes my heart hurt, and in turn, my stomach can't handle food very well. I'm a complete emotional mess.   Caysen is acting out in school. He's defiant with me, and completely ignores my discipline. He back talks, and "huffs" every time I ask him to do anything. Last weekend, John removed everything from his room with the exception of his bed, dresser, and book case. No toys, no movies, no dvd player, nothing "fun". Caysen doesn't seem to care. He has been grounded from video games, and spending time with friends for 6 weeks now because of his grades. He just isn't turning in assignments even though I help with homework, and do everything I can to help him. I'm at my wit's end. Caysen is extremely jealous of John. It's worse than when we first moved in together, and started the blending family process.   I have made contact with a counselor on base, and we're working on getting Caysen in to talk to someone. I can't do it anymore. It hurts because Caysen puts me in the middle. He says "you love daddy more" which is not true. I do all kinds of wonderful things with Caysen, I make special trips with him, I make special dinner requests for just him, I spend more time with now than I have ever been able to because John works, and wants me to stay home. It's gotten so difficult that I've turned over all disciplinary stuff to John because when I do or say anything, Caysen just blows me off.   We've set up a chore/reward chart, we've set a schedule. I am just at the end of the rope. I've tied a knot and hanging with everything I have, but I am emotionally just drained.   I know that us talking about having a baby has spurred some of this behavior. Caysen has been an only child for 11.5 years, and for 9 of those years, it was just me and him. He's scared, and worried, we're going to love that child more than him, and he'll be forgotten.   I've suggested, and it will happen, that John and Caysen spend some time together, just for "boy time". I hope this helps because I can't keep doing this anymore.   This isn't really WLS related, but it's what's going on in my life, and I needed a place to vent. Caysen has always been a wonderful, pleasant, and well-behaved, well-mannered child. These last 2 weeks, have been so hellacious, and painful. I have examples, but y'all probably are tired of hearing me whine. If you made it through all of that, thank you for listening.   I just needed to vent it, and get it off my chest.
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

3
 

YouTube videos

A member here, youknowit, let me know she had seen my before and some after pics of me in some youtube videos.   Least to say, I did not authorize this usage of my photos. I contacted the poster, and advised them that they were violating the TOS of youtube. I'm assuming they snagged my photos from this forum because my OH is completely private. So, I went in and made my photo album here available to only my friends.   I gave the poster 24 hours to reply. If I do not hear from them, I will report the privacy violation to Youtube.   If your album is public, go to your User CP, hit Privacy Options, and then make it available only to your friends.   I'm not completely upset by having my pictures out there. It's the principle that the poster did not ask for permission to use them.   I realize the internet is not private. I realize once it's out there, it's out there. That is NOT my concern so I don't need a lecture on posting pics on the internet. My point is that the pics were snagged, and used without any consideration or authorization. Even a common courtesy to say "hey I'm making some videos on youtube and would like to use your pics." would have been appreciated.   Also, the poster has a weight loss forum/community (not just for WLS patients) that he/she is trying to get people to join.   So, least to say, we'll see what happens.
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

0
 

Follow up appointment results

Today, I had my follow up with Dr. R.   He's elated with my progress, and told me that I am doing fabulous. He's asked me to come in and give a testimonial, and "set an example" as I am their most successful sleeve patient. Boy, that was pretty awesome.   I have excellent news. Before losing weight, my resting heart rate stayed between 115-125. But, my cardiac work up was normal. So, they just attributed it to my smoking and obesity. Today, my resting heart rate was 80 which is considered NORMAL. Unfortunately, I am having low blood pressure episodes, and he isn't sure what is causing this issue. He recommend that I return to my PCP for weekly blood pressure monitoring if it continues. I noticed the last 3 days when I would walk around the house, I would get dizzy, and even though my eyes were fully open, my eyesight would go black except for just little slits of light shining through. It was definitely un-nerving, and I'm not sure what is going on. I've never had blood pressure issues, high or low so this is an entirely new problem for me.   Other than that, my appointment went great. I broke down and went shopping again today, BUT I got a pair of leopard print flats, SUPER ADORABLE for 75% off at the military mall. I'm such a clearance whore, it's pathetic. I had put myself on a shopping ban for at least 2 weeks, but how can I pass up a pair of leopard print flats to wear with my skinny jeans for $8.50 ! ! !   Have a great week everyone. . .
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

2
 

Whew I feel better

I was beginning to feel a bit blah, but the protein really helped tonight. I still haven't been hungry, and I'm trying my very best to get in as much liquid as I can. Right now, I'm working on my 3rd 16oz glass. I'm actually finding that plain water goes down best.   I'm not having any signs of dehydration. So, I'm going to try to get in 32 additional ounces before I go to bed for the night. I'll probably be up until midnight, but I took a 2 hour nap this afternoon.   John is doing well. We're halfway through this deployment, and I think the distance and time apart is finally starting to weigh on me. Maybe it's just because of everything that's transpired, but we talked about it. He reassured me that everything is going to be okay when he gets home.   I'm growing rather bored sitting at home, but I'm also trying to take it really easy. I talked to the agency owner today. I told her that Dr. M doesn't want me to go back for at least a month. They need to hire someone, and I'm not upset about it. I'm actually quite relieved. I have no plans on going back. John is pretty insistent on me getting healthy, and recovering fully without the stress of going back to work.   I hope everyone is doing well. Today is just one more day closer to the best husband in the world being home. 8 days until Caysen, the best son in the universe, comes home from Texas. Plus, my brother and best friend are bringing Caysen home, and staying for a week. I can't wait to see my family. . .
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

0
 

To Bookmark: My reasons for VSG over RNY for my revision

The VSG was my 2nd, and final WLS. I could have easily had RNY, but I fought to have VSG as my revision from the band. Some factors I considered in deciding on VSG. The pouch that RNY offers is similar to the pouch with the band. Least to say, a pouch sucks, I love having a normal tummy, just less capacity and still fully functioning.   1) No blind stomach left behind that can be difficult to scope yet can still get ulcers and cancer. 2) 2 years max on calorie/carb/sugar malabsorption, but a lifetime of vitamin/nutrient malabsorption 3) I had a pouch with the band, and it sucked. I'm pretty fond of my pyloric valve and the sleeve let me keep it. I love having a normal functioning stomach, just smaller in capacity. 4) Regain stats and #of RNY patients seeking revision truly scared the poop out of me 5) I have too many friends in real life that struggle with vitamin deficiencies post-RNY, and most of them either never got to goal, or have gained back a significant amount of their weight. 6) The long term complications with RNY were too numerous for my comfort level. 7) I researched gastrectomies that had been performed for stomach cancer and ulcer patients, and found comfort in the long term results and minimal complications of patients that had lost most or all of their stomachs had dealt with over several years. 8) I was a volume eater, and knew a restrictive only procedure would work for me. That was my thought process when I got the band, and I thought I could beat the odds on complications. Sadly, the band only lasted 8 months before I had to revise. 9) I did not want to have food or medication restrictions. I chose WLS to have a "normal" life, and I think it's normal to eat a couple of cookies. With RNY, I wasn't willing to go through the possibility of dumping if I wanted to have a couple of cookies, or a slice of cake on occasion.   I lost all my weight with the exception of 7lbs with the sleeve. It's been a fabulous journey, and I'm easily maintaining with zero issues.
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

0
 

A little concerned

I started taking the Wellbutrin last week. All was well until Monday. I noticed that anytime I ate or drank anything, water, tea, coffee, yogurt, meat, cheese, anything that my stomach would cramp then this weird pain will radiate across my abdomen and head up to my left collarbone. It wasn't too terrible on Monday. On Tuesday, I noticed it more, but was determined to eat and not lose anymore weight. Yesterday, I felt horrible. Anything that crossed my lips hurt my sleeve. I can push on my abdomen under my last rib on the left side and it's tender.   I called my surgeon on Monday, no call back by Wednesday, called yesterday and left a message again at 11:30am. Here it is 2pm, and no return phone call. I called my PCM, the office closes early on Thursday.   2 nights ago, I pulled out the patient info insert for the Wellbutrin, and low and behold one of the side effects is stomach pain. Also, unexplainable weight loss. The other issue is bad breath. Yesterday, John leaned in to kiss me, and he said "babe, not to be rube, but did you brush your teeth today". I had actually brushed my teeth twice. When I breathe out, my breath smells sour/acidic.   I haven't taken any more Wellbutrin since Monday.   I'm suspecting gallbladder issues even though the pain is on the left side. I do not feel comfortable going to the ER considering my history with anesthesia, clotting disorder and recovery issues after my leak repair. I want my surgeon to do surgery on me since he is a bariatric surgeon and general surgeon. He knows all of my history. He knows all the complications, and all my medical records are at his fingertips there. If I go to the ER, it's going to be a clusterf*ck, and I'm going to freak out on them if they screw up.   I called the pharmacist, and he said it could take a couple more days for the Wellbutrin to get out of my system. But, I'm not feeling too hopeful.   It's starting to effect my fluid intake. I'm petrified of getting dehydrated. I just don't know what to do.   Only good news in all of this is that I have not lost anymore weight since Monday.   Fingers crossed I hear from my surgeon soon.
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

3
 

Great news ! ! !

So, I had my appointment with my PCM this morning. We discussed the Wellbutrin for me, and he thinks it's a good idea to try it for 1-2 months. He doesn't want me on it longer than 4-6 months. I know it takes 2-3 weeks for it to build up in my system so I'm setting a quit date of March 1st. He thinks that is reasonable. In the meantime, I will be cutting back significantly, and considering taking up crocheting to keep my hands busy.   He also said that my resting heartrate being high is normal considering my heart was used to supplying blood to a much bigger body, and volume of cells. He said my heart and lungs sound great, and actually even better than last years physical. He noted last year that I took deep breaths, but had uneven breath sounds. It's probably because of all the fat in my upper body.   I decided to shop at the base exchange today and bought 2 new pairs of SKINNY jeans, and they are ADORABLE ! ! ! Size 11 in juniors, I was so shocked. I could fit into a 9, but because I still have some hips they sat a bit low and made me uncomfortable.   I also went and had my labs pulled today, and stopped by the surgeon's office. He's booked until February 8th. With the crisis in Haiti, he is coordinating the relief effort with doctors and surgeons. He is the director of medicine/surgery on base. Least to say, he's got his hands full. They did record my weight, and wanted to make sure I was feeling good, and didn't "need" to be seen. I told Capt. C (my bariatric nurse/coordinator) that I just want to know my lab results, and I'll see Dr. R in February.   All in all, today was a great day. I'm home now enjoying some teriyaki noodles, and surfing the net.   We're grilling out some T-Bones for dinner, and I haven't decided on the side dishes.   Oh yeah, they were having a "case" sale at the base shoppette. A shoppette is a convenience store/gas station, and if it's a Class 6 shoppette, it's a liquor store as well. Guess what they were having a sale on? ? ? Liquor, beer and wine was all on sale. I picked up 4 bottles of Forest Glen wine.   I came home read the prescription information on the Wellbutrin. It says I can't drink when taking it, so I'm not starting it until next week. I'm not drinking 4 bottles of wine over a weekend, but I'm going to have a couple of glasses.
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

3
 

My first stall

and I'm not really sure how I feel about it.   There is a part of me that is ecstatic that my weight loss has hit a plateau, BUT (you knew there was a but in there), I am also frustrated because I am so close to goal. 6 fricken pounds, and I've been stalled about 9 days. I am by no means disappointed with my results thus far, and I know exactly why I've stalled.   #1 - My tastebuds have returned to normal, and I have new found love of chocolate. Especially, white chocolate with crushed up candy canes. Yes, they are divine. Caysen brought a bag of homemade candies from school home, and he nor John like them. So, they are all mine.   #2 - I'm not eating breakfast. I have always hated eating breakfast, and I did really well the first 4.5-5 months. The last month I don't think I've eaten breakfast at all. I'm eating 2 meals per day, and I feel great.   #3 - I've incorporated more carbs into my meals. I still get in my protein first, but I can eat carbs like a champ. If I want to snack, I eat crackers with flavored cream cheese. And, I have a fabulous habit of eating beef jerky if you're wondering how I get my protein in with just 2 meals.   #4 - I haven't been to the gym in almost a month. Our vacation to WV screwed up my schedule. Come home 2 days later and got the blood clot. That kept me out of the gym for 2.5 weeks, and now I have lost my motivation. I have to get back to it PRONTO ! ! !   #5 - I need to maintain as close to my goal of 150 pounds so we can try to conceive late spring of 2010. If I get below 135, I'm in trouble with my surgeon and he won't let me start TTC until I can prove that I can maintain 140-150 for at least 3-5 months.   I'm not really upset about the stall because it's not a horrible thing. I'm enjoying a normal, healthy lifestyle. I'm eating anything and everything I want and need. I am by no means complaining about the stall because I know that I am responsible for it.   It's a catch 22 situation in all honesty. I could go back to basics, and drop these last 6+ pounds in a matter of 2 weeks and get to goal. Or, I could keep doing what I am doing, lose it over the next 6 weeks, and still be able to maintain.   John thinks and verbally expresses that I've lost enough weight. He is worried about me once again, and while I know it's out of love and concern, him being the food police is really starting to bug the snot out of me. He also is on me on the time about my vitamins, and my daily food consumption when he is not home. He even goes so far to ask Caysen if I ate or not. I do not need to be monitored like a baby. I think my independence is being a bit threatened and it's getting on my nerves. I think everyone here that follows my life, knows/realizes that I love my husband, but this food police thing is getting a bit absurd, and I'm not willing to lie to my husband, but for the love of everything holy, he's got to losen the reins or I'm going to go insane.   I'm just cranky, and needed to vent. I plan on hitting the gym after the New Year since our trip to Texas has been postponed until Spring 2010. I am not even going to try to go this week. My heart isn't into it, and my work out buddy is out of state visiting family for Christmas. Maybe when she returns next week, we can go a couple of times.   I know that I need to get back to basics. Funny thing is that I'm not craving carbs, nor do they make more "hungry" or trigger any further "bad" habits. I still stay below 30grams of carbs per day so it isn't like I'm consuming more carbs than protein. I would say my diet is fairly balanced. There are some days when I just do not want to eat meat, so once to twice a week, I may skip meat at one of my meals.   I'm not going to lie to anyone here, or myself, this stall has me frustrated, but it's all on me, and I'm not really sure if it's more important for me to get to goal, or really "feel good" about my lifestyle and relationship with food right now.   Maybe, we'll see how next week goes, and if the scale moves. If it doesn't, I'll probably stop all carbs, and go on a protein and clear liquid fest. Until then, I'm going to continue to enjoy my daily life and choices.
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

3
 

Shopping is so therapeutic

I ended up having to take the jeans back from OldNavy. They were too long even with heels. I exchanged them for the 'short' size, I have short legs. I also picked up a couple of shirts. We stopped by the "Avenue" because they were having a big clearance. I almost fit inot their 14/16, but the boobage makes those shirts really short, and I still have a belly that I like to hide. I had to go with the 18/20 and the 2 shirts are a bit big, but super comfy. For 6 bucks each, I really couldn't pass them up.   We stopped by Gamestop for the new Rockband Country track. I also picked up the Wii Active on a recommendation from a friend. I'm starting tonight, and I know I am going to feel so much better.   Dr. M released me to full activity this last Monday, and I am feeling better this week than I have since this journey began back in June. I bought some adult gummie vitamins and they taste amazing. I still have my rough patches, but for the most part, life is so much better.   We have less than 30 days on this deployment. Communication is slim, and it's frustrating. He's almost home, and I started all my little projects around the house. I bought new bedding for our bed, and he is going to love it. Every time he goes away, I buy new bedding. It's a weird thing I do, and he always loves what I pick out.   I also cleaned out my closet. I bagged up over 100 articles of clothing, and I figured if I could sell each piece for 1-3 bucks each, that would be 100-300 for new clothes. It felt so good to get purged all of those clothes. I'll miss them, but I'll enjoy getting new ones more.   I guess that's all for now. I hope everyone is doing well.
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

1
 

I did it, I did it

Today, I hit my first goal of 60lbs lost, and gone forever. I almost cried when I stepped on the scale. My initial goal was 60lbs lost before John got home, and I still have over 30 days before he gets home to see the new me.   I am feeling better every day, and am finally starting to enjoy eating some things. Some days are still a battle, but I know at least I am on the right track. I seriously can't believe I have lost this weight. I looked at myself closely in the mirror today. Even though my body looks kind of funny (I have the "spare tire" syndrome around my tummy), I know that it's something I can work on. I actually have a defined waist, my face isn't super chubby which to be honest was kind of adorable, but I love having a normal size neck so I can wear an 18" necklace, and it not look like a choker.   I'm not trying to brag, but I am seriously elated today. It's been a long, exhausting road, and today was a good day. I've learned to cherish the good, and drudge through the bad. The good is starting to outweigh the bad at this point, and I'm on my way to a healthier, more fulfilling life.
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

1
 

Much better day

Today was so much better. John is having to work mid-shift. It's technically 5pm to 5am, but he's been able to leave early between 2am and 4am all week. I had just gotten used to him being home, and in bed with me so sleeping has been a challenge this week coupled with the tooth pain. Anyways, last night I tossed and turn until 3am when John got home, and then had to get up and go bowling.   I had such a great day. I bowled 2 great frames, and 1 crappy frame. Afterwards, 10 of us headed to lunch at TGI Fridays. I ordered the pot stickers, and was so amazed that I only ate the stuffing of 3 of them, and the shell of 2. They tasted amazing, and I tolerated them really well. One of the other ladies was hinting at "loving the pot stickers" so I told her to help herself because I couldn't even remotely finish the appetizer. I felt great when I left Fridays, and swung by the pharmacy on base for my Prilosec refill. Since I had to go to the pharmacy, I stopped by the surgical clinic to check my weight on their scale, and I was so excited that it matched by scale at home. The receptionist at the surgery clinic didn't recognize me until I showed her my dependent id card. She was shocked, and told me that I looked great. I love her to pieces. My surgeon has already deployed, and won't be back for 6 months :cursing:   I don't have a follow up scheduled until December. At that time, they'll pull more labs, and monitor my weight.   I received my calcium magnesium citrate with vitamin d today from vitacost.com. I'm so excited to try it. I'll post a review of the taste/texture and so forth tomorrow. I really need to get better with the calcium supplement, and hopefully this will do the trick.   Overall, it was a great day. I came home, hung out with John for a bit, Caysen got home from school, and immediately copped major attitude. It's pre-puberty, and it's going to drive me insane. But, we're nipping it in the butt because I'm not going to have an unruly child.   My jaw still hurts. Chewing meat is out of the question unless it's pureed/super mushy, so I'm sticking with soft foods for the next couple of days.   Hope everyone is doing well.
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

1
 

Stall broken

Well, today I decided to step on the scale after 10 days of losing .2 or gaining .5, and today I've lost 3 pounds. How did I do it? I honestly have no idea. Maybe a well balanced diet and not beating myself up over food is helping.   I have a mere 3 lbs to goal, and I've decided to just eat what I want, when I want, I'm not going to change my current course. I'm happy with my relationship with food, I'm grateful for my results, and even moreso I'm very thankful for all the support and encouragement.   So, I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing, and see if I can keep my current goal of 150. If I slip below it by 5-6 pounds, I won't be disappointed, but I really need to maintain 145-150.   I admit I'm glad the stall is over, it didn't last long, but it was irritating.
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

3
 

Just UGH

So, yesterday I had to break down and have the root canal done. They gave me a sedative that made me absolutely "wasted". I fell asleep at 7:30p, woke up at 3:30am, John got home at 4am, and we went back to bed at 4:30. I got up with Caysen to see him off for school, then I slept in until 11am. I've felt horrific all day. I've got a lot of pressure pain, my entire jaw hurts. I wish I would of just had the dang tooth pulled, but I know the consequences of having this particular tooth pulled.   Anyways, I'm crabby, and moody, and sore. The endodontist called me to check on me, and told me to expect pressure pain, and discomfort for the rest of the week. YAY isn't that exciting.   I can't eat anything of substance. Everything has to be mushy, and it hurts even trying to get that stuff down. I'm not happy. I feel like this entire situation has set me back after making such huge strives in being able to eat, FINALLY.   I know I'm just frustrated, and just want to feel good again. I'm sorry to whine, today just sucks, and I needed to vent it out.
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

2
 

Blogging in General

I've switched over to blogspot.com   It's not going to be focused completely on VSG, or my WL journey. It's life, and I believe I'm more than just a WLS patient.   If you care to follow me, feel free to do so and comment if you can.   Thanks ! ! !   http://unraveledapronstringsinmypinkstiletto.blogspot.com/
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

0
 

Lacking motivation

John has officially been home a month now, and outside of a lot more sex, I have not been working out AT ALL ! ! ! I keep telling myself that I am going to the Y up the street to join, or I'm going to do this or that, but I never make it out of the house. It's pathetic, and I know that I need to do something, but I lack all motivation.   I decided today that I am going to get out of the house, and run by the post office and the Y once Caysen gets home from school around 2pm. I know if I am paying for something I will definitely go to the Y. They have great equipment, and some classes that I may participate in. I just need to get off my hiney and do it.   I've been eating more calories, and finally this week, my weight loss has slowed down. This last week I only lost 1.5-2lbs which is perfect. I'm very grateful I'm so close to goal, but I know that it's too much too fast. My arms look horrible, and my inner thighs are not looking great either. John commented that my stomach is definitely shrinking, but I know that working out will speed this process up significantly.   I need to really find some motivation, and need to set some goals. I'm know that working out will help me feel and look better. I have a friend who lives in CA that said she would be my accountability partner. We're going to set up a goal/reward system, and send each other text messages to hold each other accountable.   As for the Halloween function, it went great. The commander's wife bought me a witches hat to wear since I said I wasn't going to dress up. I wore it for a bit, but it is humid and icky. Everyone loved my ghost cookies, and the queso and chips were a huge hit. Of course, we ran into that one friend. She didn't speak to me, nor did I even acknowledge her presence. She waited until Caysen was by himself at the snack table, and went up to him said " hey Caysen what's up?" I had told Caysen all he had to say is "hello" and to be polite. He said " hi " and apparently she didn't hear him, and she snapped at him and said " you could at least say HI". How immature to talk to an 11 yr old is all I could think. John and I were sitting just 10 feet from them at the front table, and she never said a word to us. We passed each other in the hall several times, and all I did was smile, and keep walking. Caysen told me at the end of the evening, "mommy, I'm glad you always look nice when we go out, and you look really pretty tonight." It made me feel great. John agreed, and thought I looked great. I was able to buy a 12/14 cardigan, and tank tops from Wal-Mart, and had new jeans on. It was a good night. I really had a good time, and didn't let someone else's pettiness ruin my night. I did speak to her husband once the event wound down for a minute or two since John still works with him. One more week, and they are out of the squadron, and I never have to worry about dealing with her, or her crap again. I may run into her at Wal-Mart or on base, but at least they are out of the squadron, and I don't have to deal with them at functions.   Off to get ready to go to the Y, and write that check ! ! ! I'm going to do it. . .
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

3
 

First day

So, Caysen threw a fit this morning about me taking him to school instead of letting him ride the bus. I wasn't in the mood to fight with him so I let him ride the bus. I stayed in bed until 9am then got up, and went to the Y. Boy, let me tell ya it is was pretty intimidating. I just walked on the treadmill for 30 minutes then left. I don't know how to use half of the equipment in there so I felt pretty clueless.   I really hope the training coordinator calls me today or tomorrow. If she doesn't, I'm calling her on Friday so I can go in and get set up to have a real work out. I didn't eat before I went so I felt pretty crappy just after 30 minutes. I have got to quit giving Caysen options. He has to learn that life isn't all about him. Sometimes we all make sacrifices that we may not like, but it has to be done. Tomorrow, I have bowling so I won't be going to the Y, but Thursday morning, I'm definitely going earlier in the morning. I know that I'll feel more comfortable the more I go. I really want to be successful so I have to keep at it.   One day at a time. . .
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

2
 

A great day

I slept in a bit, but still made it to the Y today. I did 0.65 miles on the treadmill, and then did 15 minutes of these weight machines for my legs and arms. It's not a lot, but it's a start. I forgot to eat before I left so 40 minutes of working out was enough for me. For the first time post-op, I had this hunger crampy feeling in my tummy. I came home, and ate a protein bar that has 20 grams of protein and only 14 grams of carbs.   I feel pretty good about going today. Hurricane Ida is rolling in. It's super windy and rainy here, but I still went. I am going tomorrow for my physical assessment. I'm excited to see what type of program they set up. Plus, I'm really interested in doing the Hip Hop dance class. Unfortunately, the only time they have the Hip Hop class is at 5:30 p.m. That would definitely screw up our evening schedule. It's an hour long class, so dinner wouldn't happen until 7:30 at the earliest. They have Zumba, but I honestly don't think I'm coordinated enough for that one. Tonight for dinner, we're having pasta salad and chicken. I've found a little snack that I absolutely love. Yogurt covered cranberries are absolutely fabulous. I liked them before surgery, but now they are even better.   I love feeling this good. I'll be excited to see even more changes in my body as I start working out more. It'll be nice to lose this fat roll on my stomach. I affectionately call it my own personal flotation device, or my little spare tire. Hopefully it'll shrink up over time.   Life is great.
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

2
 

I'm FREE

I went in and had the drains and line removed from my arm. No more TPN, and no more cumbersome drains .   I am on clears for 2 weeks, and then I go back in to discuss transitioning into full liquids/mushies on July 9th. I can't believe how good it feels to not have all that crap attached to my body.   My main goal is to stay hydrated. Dr. M isn't going to release me for work for at least a month. He said he just wants me to take it really easy. I can't vacuum, sweep or mop, but I can fold and put away laundry. Luckily, I have an amazing neighbor, who volunteered to come over and help me out with the housework.   My younger brother, and best friend are heading out here on July 4th from Texas. They had this little vacation planned, and it worked out that they can bring Caysen home at the same time. 10 more days until they get here! ! !   Overall, it's been a great morning.
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

1
 

Zumba

kicked my hiney ! ! ! I found another military wife that wants to get in shape. She signed up at the Y last week and she talked me into going tonight.   Let me tell ya, Zumba is NOT for the weak. It kicked my butt, and I am definitely not coordinated enough to keep up. It was quite intimidating.   Tomorrow is strength training and maybe a Hip Hop dance class in the evening.
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

0
 

Finally

No more jaw pain. Last night, I took Caysen and 2 of his friends out for Mexican food. I don't know what it is about fajitas, but I always feel fabulous after I eat it. I did make the mistake of tempting fate, and attempting to eat a couple bites of tortilla at the end of the meal. I got to the parking lot, and the tortilla came back up. But, I didn't feel horrible.   Today, for lunch I had leftovers because Caysen and I can eat fajitas for 1, and have leftovers. I feel even better today. I decided to treat myself to some coffee today as well. Overall, I feel pretty great. John is working tonight again, and will be back on a day shift starting Tuesday morning. He's just so exhausted, and I hate seeing him like this. He's pulled 12-13 shifts the last 4 nights, and he is just worn out. His sleep schedule has been so screwed since returning home. But, I know it will get better once he is back on his normal schedule.   The squadron is having a Halloween function this coming Thursday, and I'm excited. I volunteered to help decorate, and make cookies. I'm making these adorable broomstick cookies. I kind of have a reputation to uphold in the baking/cooking department with the squadron ha ha ha. Last year, I made cinnamon strudel bread for a fundraiser bake sale. I made 6 loaves. The first loaf sold for like $7, but by the end of the day the guys were paying close to $30 for one loaf, and fighting over them. Everyone told John that he better "hang onto me" because of my baking. John wanted me to just pick up some pre-made cupcakes or cookies, and I told him NO WAY. I have to make sure whatever I make is a big hit.   Anyways, I can't decide if I'm going to dress up or not. The commander's wife and I have chatted via Facebook, and she is dressing up and hinted that I should as well. If I do dress up, I think I'm going to be a Pirate. Nothing too sexy, or scary. But, I know that one "friend" that broke up with via Myspace after my hospitalization is going to be there, and just because she was so nasty to me, I want to look smashingly wonderful. I know that is spiteful, and completely out of character, but after her horrendous comments, I want to show her just how wonderful I look, and how fabulous I am doing. She made a surprise stop off at the squadron last week, and talked to John. Essentially, she welcomed him back, and apparently decorated their office. Her husband is leaving the squadron in 2 weeks, and has never decorated the squadron for any other holidays, but she made a special 15 mile trip up there to decorate the office that her husband, and John share. I told John "whatever, she just wanted to come up there you were there." No one can convince me otherwise. To me, it was just a bit coincidental/convenient for her to show up there when John was going to be there, not to mention with all 4 of her kids in tow. Now, logically, if she wanted to decorate, wouldn't be smart to go decorate the office, when 3 of your kids are in school, and there is no one in the office. I know I should let it go, but when someone hurts me so deeply, it's difficult for me to not see her ulterior motives, and let it crawl all over me. Luckily, 2 more weeks, and we'll be done with them forever. I told John that my name nor my child's name should never come out her filthy mouth, and he better defend me if anything crap gets started. I plan on being cordial, but I'm not going out of my way to be nice to her. I'll avoid her like the plague essentially, but I'm not going to allow her to ruin our night.   Tomorrow we're going to attempt to make it out to the fair. I really want to do something fun, and get us all out of the house for something other than errands, and grocery shopping.
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

1
 

Life Love and Goodwill stores

Life has been fab since the husband came home 10 days ago. We've kept ourselves busy, and just enjoy being with each other. We did have to postpone our weekend getaway because of the stupid root canal situation with my tooth. $400 hit to the pocket book was not expected, so now we're waiting on the travel voucher, and the family separation pay to come in so I can get my tooth fixed, and we can get away for a night or two.   Today, we picked up an amazing weight bench, and weight plates at a garage sale then picked up more weights/dumbbells from a guy selling some of craigslist. John made a mini-gym in our garage. He worked out this afternoon, and boy, let me just say he looks smokin' hot working out. I could do without all the grunting, and heavy breathing, but I guess it comes with the territory.   His working out has motivated me. I start my walking regimen on Monday morning bright and early 6:30am, and then I'll lift the little weights to help tone my arms. I'm going to get back to working out with the Wii Active and doing my stand up crunches, and lunges. My thighs are super flabby. It's gross, and I know I can tone them up.   We also stopped by the Goodwill store. I bought a bunch of lightweight crop pants to go walking in, and men's t-shirts. I just can't bring myself to pay full price for clothes to work out in and that won't fit in a month. I desperately need new bras. When I bowl on Wednesday with the girls, my right boob pops out of my bra everytime I roll a ball down the lane. It gets annoying because I'm constanly readjusting myself.   We're having a garage sale within the next 2 weeks. John brought home so much gear the Air Force will not take back, and it's ridiculous. 4 deployments, our garage looks like an ArmyNavy Store. The garage is so full the stuff from this last deployment has taken over our bedroom, and I even have a 45 gallon tote in my kitchen. RIDICULOUS. Not to mention the 3/40 gallon trash bags I have full of clothes from my closet and Caysen's dresser. Tomorrow, we're attacking the guest room closet to get rid of yet again more clothing. Whatever stuff we don't sell at the garage sale will go to the mission store and Goodwill.   I'm almost in a 14 jean. WOOT WOOT. It's the stupid belly fat preventing me from getting into them so that has me kicked into high gear to start walking and losing the belly. I now have the "noassatall" syndrome. My hiney has completely disappeared, but my hips remain. BLAH, I hope the hips slim down once the belly gets smaller.   All is well here in lovely NW Florida. It's been super hot with high humidity lately, and it makes me miserable. BUT, fall is definitely around the corner, and I can't wait.   We're having family pictures taken again. We had family pics taken last December, and they came out wonderfully. I belong to a Myspace group of military spouses, and so many of them are just getting started and give great rates. This new photographer is only charging $50 for 2 hours, and 2 outfit changes, and a CD of all the edited images with a copyright release. AWESOME PRICE ! ! ! She takes great photos from what she has already taken, and I can't wait to have new pics to send to the fam for the holidays. Last year we did beach pictures, this year I think we're going to the historic district and have some great pictures for the album.   I've rambled enough. Anyone who made it through all of that deserve a "no sugar added" cookie, or protein bar ! ! !
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

3
 

Officially lost 100lbs

That's right, as of today, I've lost 100lbs since beginning my weight loss surgery journey.   I can't believe it, and was shocked to come to the realization today when I stepped on the scale.   I had the band placed on October 1, 2008 then revised to the sleeve on June 3rd, 2009. So, as of today, I'm 100lbs lighter. I am absolutely in shock, and can't believe it. Of course, I've lost 93lbs with the sleeve, and a mere 7lbs with the band, but in the end, it's still 100 pounds.   I'm glowing with pure joy today ! ! !
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

3
 

Chinese food was a hit

So last night, I decided we would venture out to the local chinese/mongolian grill place. I haven't had noodles/chinese noodles in what seems like forever. Anyways, since I know that mac-n-cheese is not a problem, I assumed I would not have any issues with these noodles either. And, guess what I was in pure heaven last night.   I had a small portion of noodles, chewed well, 1/2 spring roll, and 1/2 of a tiny dumpling. I couldn't eat the beef with my noodles because the grill master overcooked the beef, and it was too tough for me to chew. I had 2 bites of watermelon, 1 piece of pineapple and 2 bites of cantaloupe. The fruit is where I took one too many steps off a slippery slope. I knew I should not of eaten high sugary foods after those carby noodles, but I felt really great afterwards. The 15 minute car ride was fine, but 10 minutes after hitting the front door, my hiney was glued to the toilet. I didn't feel sick or nauseated, but I can only assume it was the fruit that did me in.   I didn't have any cramping or discomfort even though I was full and satisfied, I should of never skimmed the fruit off the husband's plate.   The noodles were fabulous. I felt like I was on cloud 9, and thanked my husband several times for going out for Chinese when I know he isn't a big fan of any of it.   For me this is the very best aspect of the sleeve, I can still eat my favorites, but I'm not wanting to, nor have the desire to make 6 trips through the buffet lines. I was able to have a variety, and get a taste of anything I wanted. I felt so good and in control last night. I seriouly love my sleeve ! ! !
Tiffykins

Tiffykins

1
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