I decided for the holidays I would buy myself a recumbent bike. I got it today off of Craigslist for $75. They usually go for $100 - $150, used. The guy didn't have the owners manual but I figure I can download it.
Looking forward to using it because, other than walking around running "many" errands & going Christmas shopping, I haven't really done much in the way of exercise lately. I've been helping mom & dad run their errands since dad hasn't been feeling well with his sciatic nerve acting up, and mom can't really walk around a lot.
Fortunately, I've been lucky enough that I keep losing weight, but I don't want to be saggy. I want to lose weight, feel & look healthy.
Anyway, I'm hoping to put it in the LR once we get all our Christmas stuff up tomorrow.
Merry Christmas to me. 42 pounds down & counting...
I decided for the holidays I would buy myself a recumbent bike. I got it today off of Craigslist for $75. They usually go for $100 - $150, used. The guy didn't have the owners manual but I figure I can download it.
Looking forward to using it because, other than walking around running "many" errands & going Christmas shopping, I haven't really done much in the way of exercise lately. I've been helping mom & dad run their errands since dad hasn't been feeling well with his sciatic nerve acting up, and mom can't really walk around a lot.
Fortunately, I've been lucky enough that I keep losing weight, but I don't want to be saggy. I want to lose weight, feel & look healthy.
Anyway, I'm hoping to put it in the LR once we get all our Christmas stuff up tomorrow.
Merry Christmas to me. 42 pounds down & counting...
Been feeling so run down lately. Lots of restless sleep tossing & turning & tossing & turning. Soooo frustrating.
My eyes actually wanted to close on my commute to work this morning. I don't think I've EVER had that happen before. I had to literally fight the urge to go to sleep.
I don't know if I'm trying to fight something off, or if life's stress is finally starting to take a toll on me physically. What's going on here?
I'm not looking for replies.... I just feel the need to vent... the need to just let these feelings out... bare with me...
Took Dad to the Dr for a checkup. Cancer levels have gone up drastically, he's starting to feel a little dizzy & light-headed every day, and the pain is starting to increase. It's starting to rear it's "fugly" head a little more now. We now have Hospice coming once a week. Don't get me wrong, he still "looks" OK, and seems to be hanging in there, but if you know my dad, that's his nature. He won't really complain, and if he does, you know it's bad. I don't like this. My heart actually kinda hurts right now. Feeling sad, but oh so thankful for having him around...
Apparently when I played around with my notification settings the other day, I totally messed up my settings. Now when I first log in, I don't see the most current posts by people.
How do I know how to change it back to the default settings?
Anyone?
I'm starting to have to deal with unavoidable stress a little bit more each day. Some of you may know that my dad of 86 has Stage 4 cancer. He's still kicking a$$, but we now have Hospice coming to the house to check on him every so often.
Nonethelss, my point is that I've not over-eaten to this point thanks to the band. I can only imagine what would have happened had I not been banded.
However, since things will at some point reach a 'challenging / difficult" time, I wonder how everyone else now deals with stress.
What do you do to unwind? For the record, aside from reading & writing on here (or FB), I don't really like to read a lot, so that's out. I find i'm too impatient to read. Go figure....
I'm starting to have to deal with unavoidable stress a little bit more each day. Some of you may know that my dad of 86 has Stage 4 cancer. He's still kicking a$$, but we now have Hospice coming to the house to check on him every so often.
Nonethelss, my point is that I've not over-eaten to this point thanks to the band. I can only imagine what would have happened had I not been banded.
However, since things will at some point reach a 'challenging / difficult" time, I wonder how everyone else now deals with stress.
What do you do to unwind? For the record, aside from reading & writing on here (or FB), I don't really like to read a lot, so that's out. I find i'm too impatient to read. Go figure....
It's so close that if I stand on my tippy toes I can just about see it! Currently, I'm at 207. My gosh, I could actually weigh 200 by Christmas OR maybe even before.....
I haven't weighed under 200 pounds in a very, very, very long time. I think...no, I'm pretty sure, that I will cry when I get there...
Tears of joy!
Hum, I "think" I'm FINALLY starting to get the swing of this hole lap-band lifestyle. Whaaat? It's only been 3 months. So, I'm apparently a slooooow learner.
This last week has been a real dousy. I received my 3rd fill a week ago today. It was .75 cc's on top of already 8cc fill (from 2 prior fills). This time, this last fill kicked my a$$. I was having a hard time eating & drinking and would get that awesome stuck feeling in the chest, right above the stomach. Oh, so pleasant. Needless to say, I lost 5 pds from last Monday through today, but not the way I want to be.
With that said, let me explain why I "think" that I finally got it. While I was eating MUCH less because of my tighness, it helped me really focus on how much I should be eating & how small of bites I needed to take. I had to focus so much on the bite size & length of time it actually took me, that I felt a little alarmed almost. I mean, holy shi*, bite sizes no bigger than an M&M. Another comparison would be to take bite sizes no bigger than your pinky finger nail. People, those are some seriously SMALL bites.
So, now that I think I've learned my lesson, I had to get a .25 cc unfill today. This was because I had several stuck & PB episodes. Nurse felt it was best to be a little safer. I know this might sound crazy since it's such a samll amount, but I think it's helped. I'm not feeling like things are going to get stuck when I go to swallow them. Could it be that I'm taking smaller bites & taking longer to eat? Maybe I finally got it ...
Oh em gee...
I was looking at my niece's family album on FB, and Lord & behold, there I was.... I was sitting down, which of course, added even more weight to my already large thunder thighs. I can't say enough how unflattering of a picture it was. I'm talking absolutely terrible.
So, anyway, this picture was taken in May 2010 when (apparently) I was at my heaviest. I could easily tell, in my personal opinion, that I look "much" thinner now. At least, 25 - 30 pds.
I told my husband about the picture last night & told him I wanted him to see it, so he could see the difference in what I looked like. Oh, wait for it...
He looks, and he's studying the picture. I said to him, uh, you're taking way too long to say anything. He's frigin' analizing the picture, and I felt as though he was trying to formulate the words....
He says, I think the picture was taken at a really bad angle. My boobs looked bigger (because I had a breast reduction since 2010), and he could easily point that out. BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT, he didn't say anything about me looking thinner now.
I"m like are you kidding? You can't tell that I look much thinner now than in that picture? He goes, ohhh... I didn't know that's what you were asking me. I thought you were just critisizing yourself in the picture. You know your weight doesn't mean anything to me.
Hummmm ... nice try to safe..... Needless to say, it was quite the buzz kill for what might have been a 'fun slumber!'
Let's try this again tomorrow babe!
Went for my 3rd fill today, .75cc's as she thought 1 full cc would be too much for me. Sadly, I only lost 1/2 lb in the last 2 weeks. That's the lowest amount since week 8. Quite disssappointed as I was starting to feel better about myself.
We discussed what I was doing, and how I was feeling. I don't know about anyone else, but I've been having major gas issues lately, and I'm not referring to my car either
She asked if I was eating a lot of protein bars. Well, not a lot, but almost once a day as a meal replacement. I guess those can give you gas because of the sugar alcohol content, I think she said. She also said I should try not to eat more than 2 soft foods a day (like cottage cheese & yogurt). Oh my! I always eat cottage cheese.
What else? Oh, I shouldn't be eating more than 15 grams of protein per calorie, and keep the carbs down to 15/20 per meal too. I've been keeping track of my food intake on MFP, but I guess I need to re-think what I eat. On "paper' I think my meals looks OK, but .... Have to incorporate veggies in there too. I know, I know.. but I"m not a big veggie eater.
The other thing she mentioned, which is o surprise, is that I need to exercise more. She suggested mixing up, and taking it up a notch. My hubby and I were talking about getting me an exercise bike that I can just keep in the LR, and ride while watching TV. The bike we saw recently was low to the floor. I'm thinking it's supposed to be better for you 'some how' being close to the floor. IDK???
Soooo, I'm going to try to mix things up starting tomorrow, and focus better on everything. I have to go back next Monday for my 3 month check up, and follow up to see how I did this week.
I learned something today... and I hope to use my new-found knowledge!!!
Ya know what? I think I'm starting to feel a little better about myself lately. While I'm very aware that at 5 '3, weighing almost 210 pds is overweight, I've managed to lose just shy of 35 pds in the last 3 months! I notice my clothes are loser, and that I've dropped 1 dress size. Techinically 1 1/2, but that doesn't quite exist, now does it?
I actually felt good about myself when I got dressed for work today. I put on my size 20 pants, and they were loose. I tried my size 18, and I'm not quite there yet. Need to lose more stomach weight... LOL...
My pants felt loose, and even my shirt was a little big.
My co-workers haven't noticed the weight loss, or at least they haven't said anything. My guess is that they don't want to be rude wondering if I have lost any weight. But, I'm hopeful that come mid January, when we host our Dealer Meeting, people (co-workers) will have no choice but to notice that I've lost weight. Yes, I'm hoping for compliments.
Looking forward to continuing this journey & looking and feeling better each day!
I know how important it is for bandsters to take their vitamins, supplements, and lots of protein. I take my vitamins daily, but I struggle remembering to take the calcium citrate, and sometimes, meeting my daily protein intake.
The calcium citrate I take is chewable, like a star burst type candy. I got it from my Dr's office. The problem is that since I need to take 1000mg, each "candy" is only 500 mg. And, your body can only process 500mg at a shot, so I have to take 2 'candies' at a time. Since I take my other vitamins in the mornning, and they 'suggest' you take these after lunch, I forget. So, I try to remember when I get home & only wind up taking 2, if any at all.
Anyway, between that & not always getting enough protein in, I worry a little about my health 5 yrs from now. I tell my husband that I'll finally be thin, but wind up sick with osteo or something else My mom has low bone density, so it gets me thinking.
I"m wondering what kind of calcium citrate other people take. Do you take pills, or liquid? Oh gosh, if liquid, I"m sure it tastes nasty. I'm curious...
Dad's oncologist apt is tomorrow at 10am. I'm a bit nervous because we should find out how much the cancer spread in his lungs. My parents were over my house yesterday, and dad talked to me (on the side) telling me that his lower left side was bothering me. Kidneys maybe? Or, just a strain?
No point in guessing as I'll be sure to ask the Dr.
For anyone that is reading this, if you read my recent posts, you'll know my 86 yr old awesome dad is in stage 4 of cancer, but has been kicking it's ass for about 20 months now without chemo or pills. I go to all his oncologists apt's because my parents are Castellian (spanish from Spain), and while they have lived in the U.S. over 50 years, they struggle with English sometimes. I'm there to make sure that not a darn thing gets lost in the translation.
Oh daddy, if I could just make the pain stay away....
Jeez, I actually ate like 3 of those mini packs of reeces pieces, and wait, there's more... Yes, MORE. I also ate 3 peanut butter cups. Oh my gosh, what am I doing?
I could say that the stress from the "c" word is allowing me to "give in to temptation." We all know what the reality is, don't we?
I'm using excuses, and I have to stop. I need to focus, focus, focus. You know, kinda like chew, chew, chew.
I need to get myself back on myfitnesspal. I was doing well, and then BAM... Grrr... must stop!
Yes, the "C" word = CANCER! Bare with me as this will be a long post....
My dad was diagnosed with colon & liver cancer back in Feb of 2011. He was given 6 - 9 months to live. He had the large mass from his colon removed the following month after his original diagnosis, and since the cancer had matasticised (spelling?), or should I just say spread, having chemo would have been fruitless. That was "20".... yes, I said "20" months ago. Dad i now 86.
Dad keeps himself busy, and his original response to the cancer, was that he had lived 84 yrs at the time, and I guess it's his time. What a frigin great attitude man. Dad is also my mom's caregiver. Even though she complains about him, and fights with him, he adores her & takes great care of her. She's not in the best of health, her memory is really starting to go (84 yrs old) and really isn't able to take care of herself (taking meds, running errands, driving...). Dad makes sure she is taken care of. In addition, he ALWAYS keeps himself busy, ALWAYS! While mom can't walk around a lot, dad enjoys doing projects. Earlier this year, he built my 19 yr old son a desk for college. A homemade desk! At 86! With Stage 4 cancer!
We've gotten used to the idea that dad has cancer, but since he's beaten the odds thus far, it's hard to think that one day he will be taken. It was hard, that is, until recently.
You see my husband & I were trying to figure out why I've been suddenly struggling with tracking my food intake, getting enough protein every single day, and eating enough overall. What caused this sudden change?
Dad went to the Dr 2 weeks ago for a cough he couldn't get rid of. The Dr decided to take an x-ray knowing he had cancer & to make sure everything was OK. It wasn't OK. I'll be damned if the frigin' "C" word spread to his lungs... :-(
He has an apt with his oncologist on the 30th, where we'll find out how far it's spread. He's still in good shape & "looks" ok, but you can see he's starting to get a little more tired. He takes pain med every morning for the pain in his stomach area (liver).
With that said, I've been pretty stressed out, but not really letting it show. I have a difficult time sleeping soundly at night because I worry about my mom when my dad goes, and my dad having to deal with all the pain & suffering that comes with... with that #$%^&* "C" word.
Obviously, it's having a bigger impact on me than I realized. It breaks my heart, and I worry. I'm no longer really focused on myself as much as I should be. I want my dad to go peacefully when his time comes. I want my mom to be ok.
I'm not ready for this. I HATE THE "C" WORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I posted this on the forum, but since I'm keeping track of this journey, I want to include my post.
I've been experiencing a little port discomfort lately. It feels like a slight pull, and it's not all the time. In addition to that, I've been quite gassy / tummy very bubbly.
My port area definitely bothered me Sat night, when we were dancing at a Halloween party, later in the evening. I was actually rubbing it a little. It hurt to dance, but I still kept dancing.
This has been happening on & off the last few weeks. It comes & it goes. I'm not sure if this has anything to do with possibly being bloated / ocassionally constipated. So frustrating to have this stupid bloated / constipated feeling. I try to get enough fiber, but since I don't really think I'm getting enough protein, maybe this has something to do with it
IDK. I have an appointment with my Dr next Tuesday morning, so I'll mention it & see what they say. Geez, I can feel my tummy gurgling now. All I had for dinner was baked flounder. And, my tummy was gurgling before I even ate that. Grrr.....
To boot, I haven't been keeping track of my food intake on myfitnesspal like I was doing. It's not like I'm cheating, but I'm positive I'm not getting enough protein because I get light headed sometimes when I come home from work. Yes, I know, I know...
OK, I think I'm done whining.... for now
I'm thinking I'm the only person that, knowing I must eat slooooowly & chew/chew/chew, I manage to still try to inhale my food. In my mind, I'm slowing down, but in reality, apparently I'm not.
I swear I'm trying, but not enough! Gosh, it's so frustrating because you know what happens when you eat to fast. Your stomach or esophogus... IDK... rejects it.... And then guess what happens? Apparently, I'm good at having the food come back up.
I'm so frustrated with myself. I actually had this happen 2 or 3 times this weekend, seriously.
I try to put my fork / spoon down, but I guess I just pick the damn thing back up again too quickly. My husband even reminds me, "slow down Fran."
Done venting.... back to eating again. See? I waited to take my next bite until I was done complaining about myself
I went for a possible fill today, and I didn't get one. The Nurse asked me if I was eating meats, and I told her that I really wasn't because I was afraid of getting stuck. I explained how scrambeled eggs got me stuck the 1st time for breakfast. She suggested I stick with yogurt in the morning as our stomachs are typically a little more swollen in the morning so it's much easier to get things stuck then. Hum, I didn't know that. I mean I read that some people couldn't eat breakfast, but didn't understand why. So, now I know.
I'll try to have yogurt with strawberries or something from now on in the mornings. She said if I can eat meats (chicken, beef, turkey or pork) that aren't dry, and eat every 3 hours or so, that I should be in a good place. Sometimes our bodies change & I might need another fill down the road, but I could be OK. I told her I baked burgers last night (not fried or grilled), and they came out OK. I added a little honey mustard for flavor & so it wouldn't be dry. Got it down OK, so I think I'm in a good place...
I lost 5 pds, and she was only expecting 1 1/2 or 2 pds, so I guess thats good.
So, there you have it... no more eggs for breakfast for me...
I've written about my 2nd fill the last few posts, and here I go yet again. This fill is definitely leaving it's mark. Sometimes I still have issues when I eat, because I guess I'm not chewing the shi* out of my food, or I'm eating too quickly. There are times when I can just tell that I didn't chew something enough because I felt it slide down too soon. It sucks because I know what's going to happen.
It happens when I eat scrambeled eggs sometimes, because it typically slides down too fast. Tonight I tried to have pesto shrimp. I might have had 2 & BAM, I knew it was going to come back up. So, for dinner, I ate SF vanilla pudding.
I know I'm not getting enough protein because if this, and I've been feeling tired at the end of each day. I keep going back to Vitamin Cottage to pick up some tasteless protein powder, but they're always out of it. They even ordered it for me a week ago, and I'm still waiting to hear back from them. Not sure where else to get this "tasteless / flavorless" protein. I've heard people talk about it, because they mix it in with their regular food, not just shakes.
I've been losing weight, but I feel it's because I'm not eating enough, or not really eating well. Don't get me wrong, the idea is to lose weight. But, I don't want to lose weight, then not be healthy enough to enjoy it. I think I lost maybe 6 pounds in 2 weeks.
I have an appointment on Tuesday, for a possible 3rd fill. I'm sure they'll decide whether or not I'm ready to have another. I'm just scared of having another fill, because I'm afraid of having more stuck episodes. It's like you have to re-teach yourself how to eat. You need to reeeeeeeally chew your foods well, and eat slowly.
Apparently, this is a concept that's going to take me a few times to get used to. UGH ;-0
So, I've had 2 staff lunches this week, and have done pretty well overall. I had tomato bisque soup the other day, and pea & barley soup today. I'm not sure either was very filling because I didn't eat a lot, but I didnt want to take a chance & eat something that would make me uncomfortable, or God forbid, stuck
The pea & barley seems to have given me a little gas in my stomach. Yes, I've been passing gas for a few hours now. Not every single minute, but you know...often.... Is this normal?. So lady like, I know...LOL.. I wonder if anyone else has trouble with gas after they eat?
For dinner, I'm having 1/4 cup of pollo adobo with just a "tiny" bit of rice. I don't want the wild rice to fill me, so I'm keeping it to a very bare mimimum. I'm actually using a tea cup plate, and eating VVVEEERRRYYYY slowly because this is my first real piece of a harder food. And yes, I hope I've learned my lesson, and am chewing, chewing, chewing. I don't want another one of those horrid stuck episdoes.
And yes, I said episodeS...
I got my 2nd fill yesterday, 2 1/2 cc's, and things were OK. I stuck with liquids last night, no problems.
I had egg beaters for breakfast (maybe 2 - 2 1/2 oz) and, oh my gosh. let's just say they weren't as tasty the 2nd time. yes, slimy, yucky stuff came out... a few times... Mind you, this is at work...and in the garbage can at my desk. Thankfully, I'm not loud.
Sooo, I played it safe & had some yogurt a few hours later because my stomach was growling at me. That went down OK.
Several hours later, I was still hungry because I didn't really have much in the way of protein, so I tried to have a Southbeach PB protein snack, which I've had in the past. Holy 2ND stuck episode people!!! Hey, you'd be proud as I made it to the ladies room this time. I know, impressive.
WTH! Obviously, here it is dinner time, and I'm afraid to eat anything. But, I know I need to suck down some protein in the very least. I don't want to read into this & think that I might need an unfill yet. The NP that did my 2nd fill yesterday said that she called this the OH CRAP fill because I'd be able to tell the difference from the 1st fill (which I couldn't notice). Um, yea!
I'm going to journal what I eat tomorrow & see how things go. It could be that I ate too fast & didn't chew the eggs, or the PB snack enough. I have been known to inhale food in the past, so I'll be mindful of that. The other thing is that maybe I also need to space my food intake further out... wait longer to eat the next snack or meal. I'm going to keep an eye on this before I panic.
I hope the newbies learn from this, in a good way. CHEW CHEW CHEW (no, apparently I didn't learn from my 1st stuck episode a week ago)..
"Honey, where's my protein drink!"
xoxo everyone!
Had my 2nd fill today. My first fill was 2 weeks ago, and was 5 1/2 cc's. Mind you, my band is large, 14 cc's or something like that. Today, I was given an additional 2 1/2 cc's. I believe I was told not to take bites that are bigger than an M&M. Oh, how I would enjoy a peanut butter M&M... Im not a big chocolate fan, but chocolate & peanut butter. Sign me up LOL...
I didn't really notice a decrease in appetite, or a more filling sensation with the 1st fill, and the NP told me I probably wouldn't notice anything yet. Somehow I managed to lose 6 pds in 2 weeks. Not bad I guess. Actually, I would LOVE to lose 6 pds every 2 weeks. Did you do the math yet? So, if I lose 6 pds in 2 weeks, that should come to 12 pds in 1 month, then 24 pds in 2 months, oh my gosh, 36 in 3, 48 in 4... eventually I'll disappear! OK, maybe not. Just trying to make a point at how quickly our mind starts calculating as we go through this weight loss journey. I had actually lost 2 more pounds, but found it again in the last week or so. Not sure how I did that, but I'm going to blame being constipated. What? I need an excuse. No wait, I'm doing this to avoid the excuses...
I suppose if I worked out 5 times a week like I'm supposed to, the weight could come off alittle quicker. Damn, I have to make an effort.
Lesson learned: You get out what you put into this. Some weeks you will lose 3 pds, another week (God help us when this happens), you won't lose anything. Stay focused Fran, stay focused! See the end result!
I NEVER EVER want to experience this again!
My husband had made an absolutely delicious ham bean soup. I scooped out 1/2 a cup, and decided I would just puree it. While it didn't exactly look appealing, it was genuinely delicious. But then, stupid me, thought I would just try 2-3 ham pieces, and without thinking, ate them. I must not have chewed them very well, and BAM, they were stuck! Forgive me french, but holy shi*. I could feel it just stuck in the middle of my breast bone. I walked around, and around the house, tapping my chest. My poor 10 yr old kept asking are you OK. I replied, I will be. But, I wasn't, not right away.
Within minutes, I had tears, and eventually I threw it up. It was that lovely slime everyone has talked about, along with a little of the soup. Sorry for the details guys. I was so scared. This isn't anything I want to visit ANY TIME again. Oh my God! I was so upset with myself, and scared. Mind you, I'm allowed to eat solids as I'm 1+ month post op with 1 fill.
Lessson learned? You bet...... CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW
Have I made myself clear?
Follow up to my first fill yesterday....
As I mentioned in yesterday's blog, apparently my band is 14cc, a large one. It even sounds embarrassing, geez.
Oh my gosh, so last night, I was supposed to eat only soft foods...which I mostly did. Key word people: MOSTLY! I made myself a nice flounder with herbs and a little cottage cheese on the side. Good, right? Well, I made chicken parm for the family & wanted to taste a tiny piece. BIG MISTAKE!!! I took a tiny frigin' piece, like not even 1/2 of your pinky size,thought I had chewed it up well, and the damn thing was just STUCK. Pardon my french, but holy ****, that was soo not pleasant. I didn't feel nauseous or get sick, but the middle of my breast bone hurt for a good 30-45 minutes, maybe more. I walked a little around the house & just used the heating pad. Yes, eventually it passed, but I was soooo NOT happy.
Needs to say, I was afraid to eat anything today. I was trying to feel it out & figure out if & when I was full. Not sure I like this learning curve!
