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About this blog

bringin it.

Entries in this blog

 

My List...

Of things I want to be able to do on and after my weightloss journey. To sky dive (weight limit is 200lbs for my height)
Be able to comfortably fit in an economy airline seat
Be able to ride roller coasts with a "no doubt" mind set that I will fit
Start training for a triatholon
Be back to my high school jean size of 11 and medium top
Learn to play violin (not really weightloss related... but whatev, I want to learn)
Be able to wear high heels longer than 3 hours with out my feet hurting from 270+lbs crushin my tooties
Not have to try on 20 dresses to find 1 that looks ok to wear
Be able to walk up the dry-dock stairs at work with out feeling like I'm dying (literally...my leg feel like they're going to fall off and my heart feels like it's going to explode)
Not having to crop pictures anymore
No more having to retake pictures 20 times to find one where I don't look huge
  I know I'll come up with more....
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

5
 

It's Always Good With Bad...

Got the information back about our insurances... and it's a no go. I think I would be more upset if we hadn't already planned on self paying before calling the insurance company again. Our insurance complany only covers Gastric Bypass and inhouse only. Which figures, because it's Group Health. So that's the bad news, the good new/great news is that now that we know we are self paying, I havemade our appointments for consults!! June 29th it's go time!! I'm a little bummed Ty and I are going to be laying down 30,000 dollars, but I couldn't think of a better reason!   Ty is more on board than ever, he has already given up soda, he is on 4 days, no soda. I'm so proud of him. Even though he only drinks diet, but still, a huge step in the right direction.   I'm not sure how to bring up the subject to my friend from yesterday, we were drinking and now I'm not sure how to talk about it again. Maybe wait until she asks how it is going. Maybe after my appointment.   I'm just happy because it feels more real now. Now it's time to buckle down, save our monies, and follow through with everything. Sorry this is so short, just had to share the news.   Until next time. ~Shells
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

2
 

Last Night Was Amazing!

And it was only a seminar! After a slightly stressful drive over there, because GoogleMaps is the worst, thank god for my iPhone.... Ty and I arrived about 10 mintues late. I had this image in my head of them turning us away because we were late and I was so scared that I would have to wait a month to go to the next one, but they let us right in, lol.   It was amazing to see and hear all the facts about obesity in America, I was shocked by some of it. The doctor running the seminar kept calling it a disease, that obesity is the fastest spreading emidemic in America and that we should consider it a disease. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I know that due to genetics, some people are more proned to being overweight then others, but I really feel like it's more of a culture issue. Our portion sizes in America are out of this world. When I first arrived to Japan in January I honestly thought I was going to have to order two of everything when we went out to eat beacuse the portions were so small there, but after about 2 weeks I found that I could "survive" off the portions that they served just fine, that it was indeed, enough food.   We learned about the 4 different types of surgeries that they offer, and all the pros and cons. Then they had three lovely ladies come up who had had the surgery and give their story. That was actually pretty cool, until the audience started focusing more on succes stories, then having important questions answered. That was the frustrating part. I thought that people there would be more prepared like I was, with a list of important questions and ready to just open fire while the surgen was there. And when did raising your hand to ask a question go out of style? My arm got so tired while being raised and having to wait because people were just blurting out questions that I had to rest it on Ty for support. (I don't wan to sound like a b*tch and say that no one should have been asking questions but me, lol, it was just a lot of questions were about clothes and such, and before and after pictures. I just wanted to tell everyone about this site and say "go there! They have awesome b & a pics! but please, I need to know some things first!" but I didn't )   So, as we were walking out, I was eager to set up the next appointments for Ty and me and when I spoke to the lady in charge of that, she asked why we hadn't filled out the insurance sheet (where she calls and checks with our insurance for free) and I told her that I had called about 2 weeks ago and that our insurance didn't cover the band because our employer has decided to exclude it from our coverage. ( I was proud that I could tell her verbatim what was told to me 2 weeks ago) (and I also thought this was something she must hear everyday) She asked if they covered any other WLS and I said yes, gastro bypass and she said she wanted our information, because it's almost illegal for them to cover one but not the other, because the band is FDA approved. So that is what I am doing today, filling out the insurance forms for Ty and myself to fax in. If we can save 30,000 by not self-paying, I'm sure I can find it in my heart to wait a bit longer to have the surgery, plus 30,000 can buy me the new boobs that I've always wanted, or at least some jeans that fit right after I lose weight. lol   Sorry this was so long, I was just so excited about last night, I would have posted last night if the drive home wasn't 2 hours long, but luckily for all you folks, it's time for me to get ready for work and finish my last day of training. Hopefully I passed the test yesterday so that I'm not going to training today for nothing.   Happy Friday!   ~Shelley
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

1
 

An Add On From The Last

I just looked over my post from last night, I was pretty much delirious from exhuastion and it seems I have a lot of random thoughts in it. I had just gotten done with a softball game. I didn't have as much fun last night as the first game I played because it didn't start until 9:00 pm... that’s my bed time.   Softball, along with other team sports is kind of a difficult concept for me. I'm a great "team player" in the morale department, but when it comes to other people depending on me that's when it becomes nerve racking. In jounior high and high school the only sport I "played" was swimming. I swam year round, and I was in the best shape of my life. I miss not having the ability to swim on a club team now as an adult. The great thing about a club swim team is that everything is individual, there really isn't anyone depending on you to help their race. Besides cheering someone on you couldn't help them physically. I feel like that is how anyone's Lap-Band journey is. Besides cheering on my boyfriend, I'm not going to be able to 'force' him to lose weight.   I think that is why Ty suggested that we do it together, to support eachother and to have something to share together for the rest of our lives, and I like that idea. I just wish we didn't have to wait 6 months to get everything going.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

0
 

When It Rains... It Pours.... Literally.

I live in the great state of Washington, the state of evergreen trees, Starbucks, Vampires and Native American Werewolves. I also live in a state that rains so much you don't have to refresh your dog's outside waterbowl during the fall/winter/spring. It rained so much last week that some how my chimney got clogged with wet soot. It rained so much last night that my roof couldn't handle life anymore and crapped out and started leaking into my ceiling and about 3 inches away from my 70 flat screen. Chimney sweep came today. Fireplace good. Ty had to come home early from work and grab a friend to tarp the roof. That lasted all of an hour before it got so windy that the cinderblocks that were holding the tarp down started sliding off the roof in a death fall. One of them crashed onto a fish tank that was out side to be cleaned and sold. Not anymore... now there are shards of glass in the grass. While listening to the cinderblocks side across my roof in a sound that can only be compared to a giant sledding down my roof, I ran out to the livingroom with a book and my iPhone to see what it was. I stepped in dog pee because my dumb mutt dogs refuse to go to the bathroom outside because it's wet. So in a fit of rage I slammed down my book which also included my phone. I'm not a weak person... I threw it with some force. And well.... long story short, I broke my phone.I call Ty (who went with his friend to the driving range) and inform him of the cinderblock storm that is rainging around our house.... he tells me it's not a big deal. BAAAAHHHGGGG!! I then was contacted by someone at work to inform me that I will be sent on a tdy trip for a few months. So I go look for my government credit card... can't find it. ANYWHERE. So I call and cancel it and order a new one that will be expidited and be here by tomorrow afternoon. Call work back and tell them.... well that isn't good enough. The trip is emergant and I was to be leaving tomorrow. So now they go to the next person on the list... who might that be? Ty. So now he is leaving tomorrow on MY trip because I am so unorganized I can't handle life. But no worries, work said there is a possibility that I could be going on the trip, just on the 3rd of December. Which is fine. I just can't handle today.... and it's not even 1:30 yet.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

6
 

Some Tentative Good News....

So, on Tuesday, the insurance coordinator at the surgery center that I'm working with, called me and of course I managed to miss the call. When I saw the missed call and the voicemail on my phone I almost pooped my pants. I figured I would only hear from her when she found out if I was approved or denied. The message just said, "call me as soon as possible." That doesn't help me much. So I call as fast as I could. She could obviously tell what I thought the call was about, so she started off by telling me that my information and documentation had been sent in and she was waiting to hear (boo). But the reason for her call was to tell me that they would be doing surgeries on Friday, March 15th (which is odd, because they only do fills for half a day on Fridays) but she said they would be at another reputable hospital and it would still be their staff and surgeons, she was telling me this because she asked if I would like to have surgery on that date, and I said yes of course! She said that she was going to call my insurance company and try to get a quick approval and tell them that I had a date. So I hope to hear from her tomorrow or Thursday. She says she sees no reason I should be denied, so my hopes are a little up from where I thought. If I am approved, then I would start my pre-op diet on Friday. AND I AM READY!!!   LoL, I'm up this early because I was in a bike accident at the end of work yesterday (Tuesday) ANSI really jacked up my arm falling. My arm is throbbing and it was keeping me up, so I left the bedroom to not wake Ty, and I'm watching late night tv and blogging!   Happy losing everyone! I hope the next time I post it's to say I'm approved! Shelley
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

2
 

It Feels As If....

....I'm getting the band tomorrow, and I'm just going in for a seminar. Ty just told me that he is confused on why we are going, he says that with all my research I should have all the information. But I have a Million questions that I need answered! This is normal right? ....It feels like Christmas Eve right now... I don't even know how I'm going to get through work tomorrow. I'll need to figure out a way to stay focused... I have a career altering test tomorrow afternoon. Game on.     Have a great night and an awesome day tomorrow.     ~Shelley
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

3
 

So Scared...

I've never had surgery before and I'm terrified. I don't understand how anesthetic works and that scares me. I'm ready to be home. That's all. Mumford and Sons playing to keep me calm, and it's working.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

1
 

I Feel Like I'm In Limbo....

Even though I completed on of the steps that I needed to before my next appointment (requesting 2 years worth of medical records) it feels like this is going to be the longest month of my three month supervised diet. I just want it to be February 26th, but I know for sure that when that day finally rolls around, I'm going to be waiting for the next day. So much waiting to be healthy!!
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

1
 

APPROVED!

I started this journey in June of 2012.... And today I recieved the news that I am approved for surgery! I will be banded on March 15th. Tomorrow I am starting my liquid pre-op diet. I can't believe it's happening!! This weekend I have so much planned! Cleaning and arts and craft, and finally starting my Vlog! I will keep you posted! Thanks for reading and helping me along the way everyone!
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

3
 

Lost 4 Pounds....

I only took in 620 calories yesterday..... I was worried about starvation mode but I lost weight. I'm going to try to drink 4, I was just never hungry for the 4th one yesterday. I did crash though.... I was in bed before 8. It took me a bit to fall asleep, but I could tell my body was done moving for the day. All I have planned for today is cleaning house and tanning (<----my favorite) I think I'm going to be able to survive this liquid diet, but it's only day 2, lol, we will see. I just gotta keep myself busy.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

2
 

Hard To Come To Terms...

That I may actually be able to get banded. But that's what I get for working for the government, to afraid to think something good might happen cause it hardly ever does. My paperwork was submitted yesterday and the general consensus of everyone from this site and from others is that they were approved in 7 days or less, I still have a feeling I will be denied. The government has ruined me.... I just need the next week to fly so I can start my new life!
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

1
 

I Need This.....

Tonight is the first time in my entire life that I have cancelled plans to go out because I didn't feel comfortable in my clothes or own skin. My friends that I cancelled on (who weigh 125lbs soaking wet) are pretty upset, but I just told them I wasn't feeling good. I have been feeling pretty terrible about myself lately, and that just makes me think negatively about my approval for the band, my sex drive is at an all time low for the first time that I can remember, and now this, crying on the way to Seattle for a concert and having to turn around and go home. I feel blessed that I am able to talk openly with Ty and my best friend April, as she knows how I feel right now because she is 9 months pregnant. It's different, but the same. My approval/denial news can't come soon enough. It's to the point where the weekend is becoming a burden because I know it's not a business day. Happy losing everyone.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

2
 

Took A Big Step Today....

Today at my company's golf tourney, I broke the news to my best friend about Ty and me getting Lap-Band. ( We had been drinking most of the morning and she just got done telling me that the reason why we were best friends was because we were completely honest... how could I not tell her at the point?) She seems shocked at first. Then told me she didn't think that I needed, that I looked fine. I told her that I weigh more than people think I weigh and she asked how much, when I told her that I weighed 275 she was even more shocked. I've always known that I hold my weight evenly all over my body and that I am naturally a thick girl, but I know that I'm not at a healthy weight. She was very interested on how we came to this conclusion, and if I felt that I was doing it just because Ty was, and I'm not. After she had all the facts she was ok with everything. She's supportive of the things that I need in life, so it's going to be good I feel.   In the seminar last week, the women that came up to talk about their success stories told us that you learn who your true friends are after Lap-Band. I told my friend this, and I can pretty much peg who is going to have a problem with me loosing weight, and it won't be her. She told me that she isn't my friend because I'm overweight, and she won't be my friend just because I'm skinny, she's my friend because she just is. That is comforting to know.   Well, I need to head to bed, I just wanted to get that out on print before the week starts. I hope everyone has a productive week this week. Until next time.   Shells   P.S. Attached is me at the golf tourney today goofing around.... giving clear evidence on my I need Lap-Band... it's terrible.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

0
 

I Can't Wait To Tan....

When I'm smaller. Instead of worrying about laying in an uncomfortable position to make sure my rolls, chins, big boobs, and other things don't create unwanted tan lines. I can't wait until I am able to just lay down and not worry about it. This is just one of my many non scale victories.   Tomorrow I am going to start swimming laps, and walking or biking to work. And Ty is going to start walking home from work to get in his 30+ minutes of exercise for the day. I just need it to be the end of the month.   Happy losing everyone! Have a great week!   Shelley
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

0
 

A Quick Blip Before Bed

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I sure did! It was a little out of my ordinary, but a wonderful holiday and a day off from work. Woke up and watched a bit of tv, waiting for Ty to wake up. Then we had breakfast and went and saw an early movie. We saw Red Dawn.... it was fantastic!!! I couldn't believe it! Then we drove back to Ty's hotel and when we got there we realized we had nothing to do and nothing was really open for us to do anything... so we decided to see another movie! We had lunch then headed back to the theater... to see... Pitch Perfect. Again! Another hit! It was awesome! Then after the movie we laid around the hotel for a bit, then decided to go see my family for a bit and maybe get a free dinner out of it... so we drove over to Seattle and saw a small bit of my family. Dinner was awesome and then we played a few games. I was able to tell my mom that I am about to start my Lap-Band journey, and she is pretty excited for me. Then I said goodbye to Ty (since he is TDY in Everett) and I went and barely caught the ferry home. And now, I am ready for bed and ready to get tomorrow at work out of my way... lol we shall see if I have to work on Saturday. I just want it to be Wednesday soooo bad!!   Well, have a great night everyone!
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

0
 

Is It Just Me Or....

Does everyone else panic a little when the website is down? My first thought was, "What am I going to read about all day at work?" I checked frequently through out the day. Anyway...   Today I filled out my medical history for the surgeon. Each step forward makes me smile bigger. I just need to make sure Ty fills out his.   I think I have made the decision to not travel for at least a year after I have the band put in december, which breaks my heart because I was most likely going to Japan for 4 months at the begining of the year, and I love Japan. I just doesn't make any sense for me to leave for 4 months after having surgery. I won't be able to get any fills and what if there is a complication? It just makes me sad because that was how we were going to pay off the care credit card, I would have made 16000 in perdiem. Tears me up.   Anyway, I'm almost off work, better pack up. Until next time.   ~Shells
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

0
 

I Feel Bi-Polar

Today started out Oh Tuesdays Last night even after trying on jeans   Bleck! I can’t even start a post! When I was in college in 2004, I took a creative writing class and the instructor would give us 10 minutes to close your eyes and type (for those who can do that, which is probably 80% of the population in this day and age) but she would tell you not to delete anything, just type. After the 10 minutes, go back and copy and paste the parts of whatever you just wrote into a story. I guess I never fell out of that habit, for I LOVE to write. I hope to have a few books published before I die.   Last night, before I went to attempt jean shopping, I went to Lane Bryant to try on a swim suit that I ordered off line just to make sure that it was going to fit and actually make me look decent enough to wear it in public. I tried it on and fell in love with it and now I’m so excited to get it in the mail. I went home and told Ty that I was so happy, that I found a suit that looks good on me and that we would have so much fun in San Diego. I felt good about myself, which is something I haven’t felt in a while.   Well, then it came to be bed time, I started a load of laundry because right now I only have 1 pair of jeans that I wear to work that fit me. I forgot to get up early and put them in the dryer with enough time for them to be dry for work…. Well now I don’t have any pants! So I tear apart my room looking for the only other pair that actually fit me and they have been eaten by a monster or something. Just my luck. I find a pair that I know are too small, but are the only ones that I’m going to be able to button.   THEY ARE TIGHT. I have to use a hair tie to make an expansion so that I can make it through the day… I debate calling in, then I remember that I need to save leave to go to San Diego to visit Ty… I walk out of the bathroom and continue on with gathering my things for work, and Ty says, “See you found them!” I had to shut him down quickly and inform him that these jeans are too small. He asks for a hug and I tell him I don’t want to give him a hug because I feel terrible. So he hugs me and tells me that I look fine, and I had to tell him about the hair tie. THEN HE LAUGHED!! Boys are dumb. I almost burst into tears. I had to tell him it isn’t funny, and then the apologized, which I believe, but still.   So now I’m at work… I started the morning off feeling sorry for myself. Then it was iPod time…Music is my everything. I grew up with music in my house all the time. After listening to a few songs, I was in a bit of a better mood and I realized I put myself in this mess; I’m on the right path to taking myself out.   This is my time.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

1
 

I'm Keeping My Appointment!

Ty is the best man for me! Today after we both had to work 10 hour overtime shifts at work (yuck, but the money is to good to not go in) wehad to drive to a near by city to drop is car off for work. It was about an hour and 15 minute car ride, so we had time to talk on the way home, and I asked him what he wanted me to do with the appointments. And he asked me what I wanted, and I told him the truth, that I wanted to keep the appointments and for him to come home in december and for us to get banded in December like we originally planned. And then he said no matter what, we would be banded in December! He said that if he gets extended, he'll just fly home and take a bit of time off, then fly back. My night has been made. I know that this is short, but I'm just so happy!   Have a great rest of the weekend everyone!!
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

0
 

I Need To Get This Down On Lock

I need something to do while waiting for surgery... I keep gaining!! I just don't know what to do anymore. Any time I get dressed or eat or something, I feel like bursting into tears. Ty told me today he has lost 5 pounds since he stop drinking diet soda.... I NEVER DRINK SODA!! It isn't fair!! I'm over this!   I hope everyone has a good week.   ~Shells
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

1
 

Ugh... I Can't Wait Until....

I can feel good enough about myself... even when something isn't going well. I was invited to go out with some friends and I went to go shower to get ready and after looking in the mirror and staring at my aweful skin (I just went off my birth control and I have broken out like a teenager) so I made up some fib to get out of going out so that I could do a face mask and wallow in my self pitty. I'm normally a confident girl... but that's normally because I have flawless skin that I can rock with awesome eye make up... that over powers my body size. But not tonight. I don't think I have enough makeup or skill to cover up the mess that is my face. So tv, face mask and a fire for me. Cleaning tomorrow and santa on Sunday.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

3
 

Almost the End of the First....

I'm lying in bed with 31 minutes left of the first of the new year. I'm sad because I am going back to work tomorrow and that's no fun for anyone. So for my new year's resolutions... They may not seem big to most, but they are mine and difficult for me to hold; 1) to stop biting my finger nails and fingers... I want to be a lady with nails that can be painted. 2) to do the 5 dollar bill saving challenge. Whenever I get a 5 dollar bill for change I plan on putting it in my piggie bank instead of spending it. Just 5 dollar bills. 3) to be banded and starting my journey in March.   I have already had 2 of my 4 nutritionist appointments. My last appointment is on Feb. 26 and hopefully everything will be in line for me to get approved and banded shortly after that. Ty says he will be starting his supervised diet soon, he just wanted to give me a bit of a jump start. Well I'm off to bed. Good night and good luck everyone!
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

2
 

So Close Yet So Far....

Tomorrow is the day of my last two appointments. And for the last month I have wanted time to speed up so much so that this day would come, but in the last couple if days I realized that today isn't really the day that I'm looking forward to, I'm looking forward to the day that I find out I'm approved, to the day that I start my 10 day pre-op diet, to the day that I get banded and start my new life. Tomorrow is just another stepping stone to all of those days. This month has gone by pretty fast though, I have distracted myself with planning my wedding. This evening Ty and I go interview a photographer team. Then tomorrow I have an early dentist appointment, then off to the clinic for my physc Eval and my last nutrition appointment. Then I pray. I have done so much research on my insurance and if people have had any problems being approved and it seems like no one has had any major issues as long as they follow all the rules. And I have, but I just can't shake this feeling of feeling like I am unprepared for a final exam. Did everyone else feel this way too towards the end? I just feel like I have so much riding on one day. Wish me luck, I'll write tomorrow to let you know how it went.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

2
 

Ball Is Back In My Court!

After a depressing day yesterday, I woke up this morning feeling a lot better. I think my exact words in the car to Ty were, “Today is so much better than yesterday. The sun is out, the birds are chirping, and my pants fit.” I feel a lot better about myself when I’m not worrying so much about what I look like. I’ve also decided to do something about it while I wait to be banded…   At first, I thought about no carbs. I remember doing the south beach diet and I lost weight doing it… but I also remember gaining the weight back when I couldn’t handle the cravings anymore. So then I got the brilliant idea of no carbs (bread, pasta, rice, potatoes) at work. Now this is something that I can do. So for the last two days I only eat fruits, veggies, meat, and cheese at work, with A LOT of water. And then eat a normal dinner. I need baby steps to change, which I think we all do. So this is how I’m going to take off (hopefully) a few pounds in the waiting.   Other than that, not much happened today. Going to the bank today with Ty to open a joint account so that we can both have allotments come out of our check to save for the surgery.   (before anyone tries to tell me not to get a joint account with a boyfriend, I promise you, as you continue to read about me through the years **if you stay with me that long** that we will be married. I’m very smart with my money and assets, and I wouldn’t do something like this if I didn’t trust them 300%)   Have a great evening everyone!!
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

1
 

Oh My Gosh!! Such Great News!

I found out that I can start my process now!! I can start the 3 month supervisied diet now! And it will still count when I actually get the new insurance! I'm so happy!! So it's just less time until I get banded!!
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

5

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