I Need This.....

Tonight is the first time in my entire life that I have cancelled plans to go out because I didn't feel comfortable in my clothes or own skin. My friends that I cancelled on (who weigh 125lbs soaking wet) are pretty upset, but I just told them I wasn't feeling good.

I have been feeling pretty terrible about myself lately, and that just makes me think negatively about my approval for the band, my sex drive is at an all time low for the first time that I can remember, and now this, crying on the way to Seattle for a concert and having to turn around and go home.

I feel blessed that I am able to talk openly with Ty and my best friend April, as she knows how I feel right now because she is 9 months pregnant. It's different, but the same.

My approval/denial news can't come soon enough. It's to the point where the weekend is becoming a burden because I know it's not a business day.

Happy losing everyone.