I Feel Bi-Polar

Today started out

Oh Tuesdays

Last night even after trying on jeans

Bleck! I can’t even start a post! When I was in college in 2004, I took a creative writing class and the instructor would give us 10 minutes to close your eyes and type (for those who can do that, which is probably 80% of the population in this day and age) but she would tell you not to delete anything, just type. After the 10 minutes, go back and copy and paste the parts of whatever you just wrote into a story. I guess I never fell out of that habit, for I LOVE to write. I hope to have a few books published before I die.

Last night, before I went to attempt jean shopping, I went to Lane Bryant to try on a swim suit that I ordered off line just to make sure that it was going to fit and actually make me look decent enough to wear it in public. I tried it on and fell in love with it and now I’m so excited to get it in the mail. I went home and told Ty that I was so happy, that I found a suit that looks good on me and that we would have so much fun in San Diego. I felt good about myself, which is something I haven’t felt in a while.

Well, then it came to be bed time, I started a load of laundry because right now I only have 1 pair of jeans that I wear to work that fit me. I forgot to get up early and put them in the dryer with enough time for them to be dry for work…. Well now I don’t have any pants! So I tear apart my room looking for the only other pair that actually fit me and they have been eaten by a monster or something. Just my luck. I find a pair that I know are too small, but are the only ones that I’m going to be able to button.

THEY ARE TIGHT. I have to use a hair tie to make an expansion so that I can make it through the day… I debate calling in, then I remember that I need to save leave to go to San Diego to visit Ty… I walk out of the bathroom and continue on with gathering my things for work, and Ty says, “See you found them!” I had to shut him down quickly and inform him that these jeans are too small. He asks for a hug and I tell him I don’t want to give him a hug because I feel terrible. So he hugs me and tells me that I look fine, and I had to tell him about the hair tie. THEN HE LAUGHED!! Boys are dumb. I almost burst into tears. I had to tell him it isn’t funny, and then the apologized, which I believe, but still.

So now I’m at work… I started the morning off feeling sorry for myself. Then it was iPod time…Music is my everything. I grew up with music in my house all the time. After listening to a few songs, I was in a bit of a better mood and I realized I put myself in this mess; I’m on the right path to taking myself out.

This is my time.