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The life and times of me

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Really Battling Mentally Today

The fat girl inside me is SCREAMING to be fed junk food. I've all sorts of thoughts running through my head. I've thought that today was going to be a day to indulge in some sweet and chocolaty goodies. I was first going to go to a local bakery and get a couple things. Then I shifted to baking a recipe I found on Pintrest. I even pulled up that recipe and gawked at the pictures. Oh, that website is the devil!!!   This mental stuff is the worst. In my 34 years of living, it's the hardest thing I've ever dealt with. And I've dealt with some pretty hard ish. As have we all, right?   I'm sure I'll make it through the day w/o caving.   I just ate a banana with peanut butter. More than 2 tbsp, but eating it is a 1000% better than what I REALLY wanted to eat, so I'm not going to stress myself.   I really do look forward to the day when food doesn't consume most of the space in my mind.
Miss_A

Miss_A

4
 

Non-Scale Victory!!!

I was banded 14 1/2 months ago. Needless to say, I'm still fat. I have no one to blame but myself. I just ate whatever I wanted thinking I would still lose weight. Uh, no. That did not happen. And I wound up gaining more weight. So after a binge on chips and dip 3 weeks ago Wednesday, I finally realized that I cannot continue to live and eat the way I had been. So the very next day, I recommitted myself to making a change in my life. God willing, it will be a lifelong one.   I have no clue how much I weighed 3 weeks ago, but I know what I weigh now. And based on the scale, I weighed less than I thought I did when I recommitted, so that's a plus. And as of 2 days ago, I'm back in the 220's. Two twenty-eight to be specific. Yay!!   Now onto the NSV.   I have a body frame where I'm large from the waist up (very broad back), and smaller from the waist down. My tops are a size or two larger than my pants. Four years ago I lost weight the "right" way. I watched what I ate and exercised 5 days per week. That lasted all of a couple-three months, but in that time, I got down to a size 16. Not a 16W, but a regular ol' 16. So I had a pair of size 16 capris in my closet. Well, I pulled them out of the closet for the first time a couple weeks ago. I was able to wear them, but not zipped or buttoned. I held them up with a rubber band. I do that with all the jeans/pants I can't zip up. I wore those capris again today, using the rubber band to hold them up. As the hours passed, I noticed how loose they were, so I decided to try and zip and button them.   And I was able to w/o any effort!!! Yay!!   Now, sitting down in them wouldn't be pretty due to my HUGE muffin top. (A lot of my weight is in my stomach) So I need to still lose a good amount of weight in my stomach, but I was still thrilled that I was able to zip up and button a regular size 16 pant!!!   That's my first NSV and I hope it's followed by many more.
Miss_A

Miss_A

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