Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!
  • entries
    54
  • comments
    261
  • views
    33,863

About this blog

My journey to my new life!

Entries in this blog

 

Just Crusing Along

Hi all! Nothing really new to blog about, just thought i'd check in. I think this restriction is great! The only frustrating thing is never knowing when or what i will be able to eat. I have given up on breakfast..just enough liquid to get down my medication. I have found i dont ever eat what is considered a full meal, therefore i try to make protein my first choice. I sat down and calculated that from my heaviest weight ever i have lost 51 pounds and 35 since being banded. WOW! it's amazing how i look back on old pics and i'm just embarassed actually. it's definelty a motivation to never go back! New goal is to hit that 14 by feb 14th! LOL! I think this weekend i'll buy something in a 14 to see how close i am to making it, hopefully it will be motivation and not make me cry if i'm too far off. LOL!

jennifer1

jennifer1

 

5th Fill Finally!

Ok today dec 12th i finally got my 5th fill. on oct 28th i got my second unfill and have had nooooo restriction since then. I gain 7 pounds in those 6 weeks, but i'm not complaining cuz it could have been much worse. My clothes are actually feeling looser. I dont get it and I dont care. as long as i'm not gaining! LOL! this band has been such an experience. I'm nowhere near where i thought i would be almost 7 months post, but i'm not where i was 7 months ago and for that i'm grateful. Now that my band is back where it needs to be, let's get this ball rolling. Currenlty I go to the gym 4 days a week and my goal for next year is 5 days. I told my trainer that jogging on the treadmill isnt all that bad, and i'm no longer too embarrassed to do it. But now of course he's like it's not good for the knee joints. now me being a therapist i kinda already knew that, but i figured that moslty applied to running on concrete. oh well, he said not more than 2 times a week and i'm ok with that. well that's all for now. Jennifer

jennifer1

jennifer1

 

sad and frustrated

I just looked and realized i haven't blogged since july i think. wow and i have nothing really exciting to say now. i did make my size 16 for my bday in august and that's where i still am today almost 3 months later. i have had 4 fills and 2 unfills. let me tell you being too tight is a nightmare. i was too tight for 2 weeks(long story about getting into the doctor) and lost 9 pounds, great, but once i got unfilled those 9 pounds came back so fast it made my head spin. now my band is so loose i feel like i dont even have one.   i cant get back into my doctor until dec 5th for a fill. i think i know now i need to be between 7.5ccs and 8cc for my green zone. after those 9 pounds i have just been gaining and loosing the same 2-3 pounds like i was before my 4th fill. my goal was to be in a 14 by thanksgiving, but that's obvioiusly not happening. my only saving grace is that i still go to the gym 4 days a week if not for that i think i would gain all my weight back. am i not eating 100% right now and i know i'm not. i've fallen right back into almost all of my bad eating habits. i just want dec 5th to hurry and get here so i can get back on track. i have friends that say well since you dont have the right filll right now is when you have to exercise self control. WELL WHY DIDNT I THINK OF THAT INSTEAD OF PAYING $12K FOR A SURGERY I DIDNT NEED WHEN I CAN JUST USE SELF CONTROL!!!!!! ugh! i regret telling some people I have the band now. i am so afraid of going thru thanksgiving with my band like this. i am going to take my appetite suppresants with me cuz i cant trust myself and force myself to drink plenty of water! Sorry for this cry baby post, but i needed to get it out my system. Thanks for reading whomever decides to read this. jennifer

jennifer1

jennifer1

 

FINALLY I CAN REALLY SEE IT!

Ok I havent blogged here in a while. There hasnt really been anything big to report. I now know my band does not like white meat chicken or egg yolks from boiled eggs! I must take small bites and chew chew chew. Yeah i know this is bandster 101 stuff but it bears repeating, well to me anyway. I got some not so good news at the dermatologist today about my hair loss(not band related) and I cant relax my hair, wear pony tails or any type of weave, only wigs. ok this may seem stupid to some but i was literally crying leaving the doctors' office. my hair is such an important part of me to me. i dont care if that sounds shallow, it's how i feel. any how, after i talked to my mom and another friend i got over it and decided to not focus on that.   While at walmart i decided to pick up a pair of XL scrub pants to see how close i was to squeezing into them. well i got home and they fit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN WEAR XL SCRUB BOTTOMS (and i'm a sista with a lotta junk in the trunk, so this is huge too me)!!!!! yeah me!!!!!   just wanted to share that with everyone!!!!!

jennifer1

jennifer1

 

STUCK AND SLIMING AT WORK!!!

OK OK OK OK so it finally happened. I got stuck( not the first time) but the sliming this was new! I'm a therapist and on mon. wed and fri we having staffings with the doctors. Well that means i'm running around to different conference rooms meeting with dotors and writing my documentation and eating lunch. Well today I had some string beans a turkey patty with no bun or anything. I was walking down the hallway and mindlessly eating. Well apparently the piece of turkey patty I bit off was to big and i didnt chew it well enough. Someone noticed I was walking funny and i told her I had some food stuck in my throat. ( i couldnt tell her really why i was stuck cuz only 3 people at work know i had the band and she wasnt one of them.) i've been stuck before but never like this. I was in the bathroom for 10 minutes hanging over the toilet praying i wouldnt throw up. I ended up sliming(yeah pretty gross) It was sooooo painful until it finally went through.   What lessons did I learn today!   1. no matter what i must cut my food into small pieces...i can no longer trust myself to take small bites if it's not already cut up     2. i can no longer rush and eat because then i'm not paying attention       Ok these may be lessons I should have learned a while ago, but after today!!!!!!! trust me i have learned them well!

jennifer1

jennifer1

 

set back!!!!ugh!!! i wanna scream!

Ok so I started back with my trainer last thursday and we did legs. i had the regular muscle soreness for the first 2 days, but then my left hip was hurting far more than i thought it should. Long story short I have a hip sprain! i'm soooooo upset. i was doing so good with working out consistently, now this! Also after my cycle left i have gained 5 pounds!!!! wth!!!! i called my doctor's office for another fill. right now the only thing that stops me from eating is myself. i know the band is not a cure all, but i only feel like i have one when i dont chew something well enough or drink a too large sip of water. I am trying not to get frustrated right now. I am almost 2 months out and i cant even get to a 20 pound weight loss!!!! i'm happy for others that are consistently losing, but i want to be one of them! ugh! i just needed to vent. thanks guys!

jennifer1

jennifer1

 

Is that what that is????

So I am almost 6 weeks out and i still have the dreaded shoulder pain sometimes. I've read in other threads that's how some people know they have eaten to much. Hmmmm today at work i had to rush through lunch, while making doctor's appointments, car appointments, writing a report and trying to talk to a doctor about her patient...needless to say it wasnt fun. I had made some chicken salad. I noticed shortly after eating that my shoulder was hurting. I'm starting to wonder if that's my sign for eating too fast or too much. I will have to pay close attention to that.   I had my first training session since April. I was so excited. then i told him i wanted to continue cuz the first year of training i had so many things going on....finding out i had hypothyroidism..trying to get my levels correct...some slacking off and then the lap band. I want to up my sessions to two per week and we've worked out a deal! I'm gonna do some laps in the pool tomorrow since i'm eyelash and weave free for a minute anyway! LOL!   Hope eveyone has a great holiday weekend.

jennifer1

jennifer1

 

Where did that 5 pounds go? Second fill!!!!!YES!!!!

Ok so today I went for my second fill. I had one last Friday and I felt NOTHING! I was able to eat whatever and was always hungry like 2 hours later. Well I went in for my fill today. My doctor ran an hour late for my appointment, but Jesus himself would have had to drag me out of that office without getting my fill! LOL   I went through the usual routine of getting weighed. I LOST 5 POUNDS SINCE THE FIRST FILL LAST FRIDAY! I was totally shocked! What a wonderful surprize! I am now down 33 pounds from my heaviest weight of 258 and 17 down from when i started my pre-op diet. When i drank the barium(yum yum right) this time it felt different. I felt it stop in the middle of my chest, pause for a little then disapate! HOW I'VE LONGED FOR THIS FEELING! I told my doctor this feels different this time. I now have 7.5 cc's in my band, still dont know what size band I have. I actually dont even care about how much is in it as long as i get restriction and stay full longer. I cant wait to try some real food(on liquids for 2 days, even though he didnt technically say that, i'm sure it's the same from the first fill.) I went to the gym again to work out some frustration from a comment from my mom that really hurt. I'm focused and ready to kick this into full gear!!!!! SIZE 12 HERE I COME!!!

jennifer1

jennifer1

 

First fill...and i didnt have to tear up the entire doctor's office!!!! LOL!

Ok so i know i havent blogged in a while, just really havent been in the mood, but i knew i needed to post after today. Well today i got my first fill!!!YEAH!!! It took all of 2 minutes and wasw TOTALLY pain free! I stood in front of the xray machine and he made me drink the white chalky stuff to ensure that everything was in place. Next he used a needle to numb the area(it felt like a small mosquito bite) and 2 seconds later he inserted the needle to do the fill. He added some saline, had me drink, added some more and I drank again. He pulled the needle out(all i felt was pressure and i REFUSED to look at that needle in my stomach) and put on a bandaid. wham bam..done!!   WOW!!! i'm so glad that was pain free. Now i'm back on liquids for 2 days! BOOOO!!! but if i could survive 2 weeks on liquids surely i can do 2 days! so i have to make sure to eat some chicken before tues when i call back to let them know if everything is goin down and if i'm still hungry. If so I have to go back before 2 weeks to get it adjusted. I'm soooooooooooooo excited that I finally got a fill. I was told to really pay attention to my body these next 2 weeks so i will know what "full" feels like to me.     I'M ON MY WAY!   Oh yeah i gained 2 pounds since i started mushies 3 weeks ago, but i'm not even concerned now that i know that is normal.   I went to the gym again today and did an hour of cardio. I AM STILL PETRIFIED TO DO ANY AB WORK!!! I've been released to work with my trainer again.   Was anyone else afraid to do ab work or am I being a big baby? LOL

jennifer1

jennifer1

 

IT'S OFFICAL!!! I AM A BANDIT!!!

OK i know some of you are waiting to see how I'm doing. The surgery was yesterday and I was a little nervous, but i prayed a lot and that helped calm my nerves. I'm gonna write my full story in the surgery day stories so I wont write it twice. I've gotten a lot of support from my friends and absoltuly none from my sister. I was in tears cuz she has not once called to check on my or shown any interest in if i'm alive or dead! I asked my mom why she's treating me like this and the only thing we can come up with is jealousy!   Anyhow. I'm in some discomfort more than pain. I have 3 incisions, one so small i thought it was a scratch till i touched it and felt the dermabond. Getting out of bed and back in is the worse!!!!!Can anyone offer any suggestions that will make it easier. I've been sleeping on/off since I got home. Still taking pain meds, just cuz i'm afraid if i stop i'll be in a lot of pain.   I'm so glad I did it. I gainded 4 pounds back after the surgery! Did this happen to anyone else? I'm guessing it's the gas. All in all I would do this again and I'm so excited to start my new life. My friend who took me to the surgery gave me a visa gift card to buy my first "skinny" shirt and I cant wait to so that!!!!   Does anyone know if we can video blog on here? I started that yesteday before I went to the surgery, not sure what i'm gonna do with it though.   Hope all is well with everyone. Feel free to PM me if you have further questions. I could not have made it without you guys, thanks for your support and concern!!!

jennifer1

jennifer1

 

OK I CAN GET OFF THE LEDGE NOW!

Well my dietician emailed me back and it seems that I am on the right track and everything i'm experiencing(small weight gain, increased appetite) is perfectly normal. WHEW!!! I was about to lose it this weekend. so the dastardly scale now lives in the basement in a box is only allowed out on friday morning. I went to the gym for the first time today and i did one mile on the treadmill and one mile on the cross trainer. i'm tryn to work my way back up to a full hour of cardio. It actually felt good to be back in the gym. It seems that walking on the treadmill helps get rid of this gas i'm still struggling with as well. i know TMI! TMI! so i'm hoping it gets out of my shoulder for good! my incisions are healing very nicely, starting to itch a little, but i've started scar massage with mederma. well let me stop rambling. smooches!!!

jennifer1

jennifer1

 

OHHHHH NOOO THE HONEYMOON IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!

Oh gosh! My not having an appetite is sooooo over! This thing came back with a vengence!!!! I'm soooo upset. I know this may sound ridiculous but i am obsessed with the scale. I went for my 1 week check up on friday and i weight 227, i started mushies on friday and this morning (sunday) i weight 229! WTH!!!!!!!!!!!! i am totally freaking out. I'm trying to figure out what the hell happened. I have feared that once i started eating food i would gain weight! is this normal!!! somebody please tell me this is normal and will not continue. i emailed my dietician, cuz i need some help planning these mushy meals. i have been living on mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs, refried beans and tuna. I know my portions have been more like 4 ounces but i havent added veggies yet cuz i dont know what pureed veggies would be tasty. I do not want to blow this....i've been doing good so far and now i feel like i'm failing. I just wish i could have a fill so i could have restriction now! plus i know i have slacked on my liquids. i was so glad to have real food that the liquids kind of took a back burner.       did anyone else gain weight once they started eating foods before they got their first fill?

jennifer1

jennifer1

 

ONE WEEK CHECK UP AFTER BAND!!

I cant believe it's been one whole week since I've been banded. I returned to work on Thursday and it wasnt that bad. My doc says i'm doing fine. I've lost 15 pounds since May6th(the day of my pre-op testing). I'm really proud of that. I started mushes/pureed foods today. I cant explain how excited i was to have scrambled eggs for breakfast! LOL! I go back in 3 weeks for my first fill. i explained how fearful i was of the fill and he reassured me i wont feel it cuz he will numb the area. I'm so pissed cuz i forgot to ask about my hernia, where is was and how large was it and most importantly will i get another bill!!!!! LOL! Well hope everyon has a great weekend. i have to work but i'm off on monday!

jennifer1

jennifer1

 

day four and back 80%

Well today is day four post-op and I'm doing quite well. My friends cant believe how go i'm doing being up and mobile. I was going stir crazy in the house so i ran a few errands and i felt ok. Sometimes when i first get up after having sat for a long period of time my port site hurt and it feels like gravity is pulling it down. It only feels better if i support it with my hand and rub it. Spoke with the nurse yesterday and i'm right on track. I may return to work on Thurs, but i'm not rushing it.   I am still amazed that i dont have an appeitite! where the hell did it go! believe me i'm not complaining, but i have no restriction cuz my band is empty, but i have no desire to eat whatsoever. I am still making myself drink my liquids as i can start mushies on sat. i want to go to the gym tomorrow and just walk on the treadmill. we'll see how that goes.       How is everyone else doing that was banded recently?

jennifer1

jennifer1

 

TODAY IS THE DAY!!!!OMG!

Well the day is FINALLY here!!!!! I cant believe this day is finally here. I'm not nervous at this point, not sure how i'll feel once i get there. So in the 11 days I've been on the pre-op liquid diet and lost 13 pounds!!! I cant believe that I made it the whole time and didnt cheat. I pray everyone has a successful surgery today. I'll try to check in later to let you guys know how it went! Thank you guys for allllll your love and support during this time, it has helped me sooooo much! love you guys like my family!!! MUAH!

jennifer1

jennifer1

 

BALLING MY EYES OUT!

Ok I know i posted this yesterday, not sure what happened to it, but hear goes again.   I've been checking my cell phone like crazy waiting for my company to call me and tell me if I have a job in 2 weeks since my current contract ends in two weeks. I see that I have missed a call from the surgery center. I check the VM and they said they have to reschedule my surgery from Fri(20th) til Monday(23rd)! WTH!!!!OMG!! I went into my supervisor's office and balled my eyes out. Couldnt do that to long as my patient was waiting on me. I went and found a friend of mine and she said a quick prayer for me. Well minutes later I went back to my desk only to find another VM from the surgery center! MY SURGERY IS BACK ON FOR FRIDAY!!!! THANK YOU JESUS! God answers prayers and I needed this one answered quickly.   Secondly, I still hadnt heard from my company, finally they call and tell me the hospital has extended my contract till June 24th and possibly longer than that! THANK YOU JESUS!! Now I can go into my surgery with no worries about if i'll be employed in a week. Plus my supervisor know about my surgery and has agreed to manuever my patint caseload to accomodate my 10 pound weight lifiting restriction!!!!! I thank God for his favor, cuz technically she could say you cant do your job and we're ending you contract!     I'm still doin well on the pre-op diet! no cheats! but also no gym ...Tonight is my last night band free!!!! I will find out today the exact time of my proceudure today!   Hope all is well with everyone!!! MUAH!!!

jennifer1

jennifer1

 

1 week down 4 days to go!!!OMG!

Well i survived my first week of my pre-op liquid diet!!!!!YEAH ME!! Nobody is dead, missing limbs and most importantly i'm not in jail!!! LOL! I have officially lost 11.2 pounds that i will NEVER see again in my life!!!Thank you Jesus! I told a friend of mine about how much weight I lost and she actually said see you dont need that surgery! REALLY! And who can live on liquids for the rest of their life! anyway I have had my temptations, but nothing was able to knock me out for the count! I'm soooo shocked and know that it was God that has given my this determination. I've gone to the grocery store when i was "hungry" and had another event that would cause me to eat "emotionally" and i didnt. So I'm here to offer encouragement to other's on this part of their journey or have it coming one day. WE CAN DO THIS! If you find yourself being tempted and you're near your compter get on LBT and go thru the before/after pics to remind yourself what you are working on! If you're not near the computer I found that if I could distract myself for about 10 minutes then the desire to eat would go away. I found out this past week that I only had hunger pains once(last night), all the other times if my stomach growled and I drank something I was fine. I figured out how many times I was just eating in the past cuz I thought I was hungry, it was time, i was bored or hell the sun was shining! I am learning to eat when my body needs it, not when my mind or eyes say eat.     Wishing everyone has a good week! 4 more days and i'm a bandit!!!!

jennifer1

jennifer1

 

PIG'S IN A BLANKET ALMOST GOT ME!!!!

Ok today is day 5 of the pre-op liquid diet. I'm down 7 pounds!!! Today at work one of our rehab aids comes into the office at lunch time with 2 cakes(just made) and pigs in a blanket made with crescent rolls!!!!!!!!!!!!OMG ARE YOU KIDDING ME! For a split second I was gonna take just one, but then i remember how determined i was to make it through this 2 weeks with NO CHEATS!!! so i packed up my notes, left my desk with my soup and SF jello and choose to do my notes in another room. That may be sad that I had to go through all that to resist temptation, but i'm keeping it 100! i had to do what i had to do. i'm soooo proud that i have resisted all the temptations so far! I am focused and determined to win this!!!! Wow this time next week i will be banded!!!    

jennifer1

jennifer1

 

I DIDNT KILL ANYONE OR CHEW MY ARM OFF!!

Well today I started my pre-op all liquid diet. So far it's 6pm and i'm ok. I hear my stomach growling, but it's nothing I cant handle. I had a muscle milk shake for breakfast, chicken broth and SF jello for lunch, just ate a SF popcicle and will have a protein shake for dinner. I've been drinking crystal light as well. I even went to the gym and did 40 minutes of cardio. I'm totally shocked and hope that I can keep this up!

jennifer1

jennifer1

 

FOOD FUNERAL TODAY! ANY LAST WORDS!!!

Well i start my pre-op all liquid diet tomorrow. I will admit that i took this weekend to have the last of my favorite foods, one being pizza. This is the one food that I dont think i'll be able to have ever again cuz of the bread componet. And I'm ok with that (i think)! LOL! so I am going through the fridge tossing everything out that is isnt a liquid at this point or that wont keep(frozen) till i'm able to have it again. I'll have a moment of silence and i toss all my comfort foods in the trash! I tried to get my sister to come raid my fridge but she wont and i think it's cuz she doesnt want me to hae the surgery. Oh well! Not trying to be cold, but i'm doing this for me. So with that said I start the liquid diet tomorrow, so i'll check in if i havent passed out by the end of the day! LOL

jennifer1

jennifer1

 

Let the poking and prodding begin!

Well tomorrow I go for my pre-op testing: blood work, EKG and anastesiology clearance(not sure what that means). Also this weekend I'll go grocery shopping for my wonderful liquids i get to have for two weeks. It' kinda cool that i get sugar free fudgsicles...too bad it's not summer time though! I feel like this is becoming more and more real now that I'm going for the pre-op testing. I have a whirlwind of emotions, but none of them are regret or turning back. I am moving full steam ahead!!!!

jennifer1

jennifer1

 

Obsessed...is it just me?

Ok since I found this site I am obsessed. I used to log on to Facebook whenever I got on my laptop, but now it's always here first. I'm not only obsessed with the site, but with the whole process period. I'm so excited to finally be getting my band and just wish the day would get here already. I cant seem to think of anything else. Right now i'm not sad about the food i'll be losing but the health i'll be gaining. It seems that all my friends that know wanna "eat with me one last time". they act like I'll never be able to eat again! LOL! i understand where they're coming from though! LOL! Just thought I'd shar my thoughts.

jennifer1

jennifer1

 

My introduction

Hello,   My name is Jennifer. I am 36, live in the Chicago area, single with no kids. I work as an Occuapational Therapist on a traumatic brain injury unit. I have been reasearching the lap band for over 5 years. I've been obsessed with this site for 2 months and just found this whole blog thing! LOL! Well i'm scheduled for surgery on May 20th in chicago at Day One Health with Ddr. Elli. I start my pre-op diet on May 9th. I am sooooo happy I'm finally getting this done. It's so sad that my family doesnt support me, but my friends do. so between God, this site and my friends i think i can make it. I look forward to this new journey I am embarking on. come and follow me.

jennifer1

jennifer1

 

Nsv

Went shoe shopping...I normally wear a 9 1/2...today I was able to buy 8 and 8 1/2!!!!!!! Totally forgot the feet would shrink..and wasn't expecting that much:-)

jennifer1

jennifer1

 

IT'S OFFICAL!!! I AM A BANDIT!!!

OK i know some of you are waiting to see how I'm doing. The surgery was yesterday and I was a little nervous, but i prayed a lot and that helped calm my nerves. I'm gonna write my full story in the surgery day stories so I wont write it twice. I've gotten a lot of support from my friends and absoltuly none from my sister. I was in tears cuz she has not once called to check on my or shown any interest in if i'm alive or dead! I asked my mom why she's treating me like this and the only thing we can come up with is jealousy!   Anyhow. I'm in some discomfort more than pain. I have 3 incisions, one so small i thought it was a scratch till i touched it and felt the dermabond. Getting out of bed and back in is the worse!!!!!Can anyone offer any suggestions that will make it easier. I've been sleeping on/off since I got home. Still taking pain meds, just cuz i'm afraid if i stop i'll be in a lot of pain.   I'm so glad I did it. I gainded 4 pounds back after the surgery! Did this happen to anyone else? I'm guessing it's the gas. All in all I would do this again and I'm so excited to start my new life. My friend who took me to the surgery gave me a visa gift card to buy my first "skinny" shirt and I cant wait to so that!!!!   Does anyone know if we can video blog on here? I started that yesteday before I went to the surgery, not sure what i'm gonna do with it though.   Hope all is well with everyone. Feel free to PM me if you have further questions. I could not have made it without you guys, thanks for your support and concern!!!

jennifer1

jennifer1

PatchAid Vitamin Patches

×