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About this blog

My daily thoughts.

Entries in this blog

 

Think "I AM a RUNNER!"

Busy day ahead, so I don't have time for much. But I wanted to check in and ask for everyone to wish me luck on my 5K tomorrow! Although I have practiced a bit more, I'm still not ready to run 3.1 miles. Ha!   But it will be fun since I'm doing it with a dear friend. I picked up my packet yesterday, so I'm ready to go!!   I have a little bit of Halloween spirit today. I'm wearing a Rangers shirt (they are going to do SO much better at home) with some little devil horns (since I'm an ANGRY Ranger). I need to go by Target tonight because I need some Halloween socks and a long sleeved Tshirt to wear to the run. It's getting COLD in the mornings!!   Have a super weekend everyone!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

5
 

Day #10 - Liquid Diet

I had an interesting coversation with a friend the other day. She was the first person other than my mom that I told about my decision to have LB and she is very supportive. I was reminiscing about days long ago when I was smaller and I said something about having no idea what I would look like at 180 because i have never weighed that as an adult. Her eyes got wide and she said that she didn't think I looked 180 now. Ha! I'm currently 280. I love my friend, but I'm quite sure I don't look 180. She said that she thinks her husband is lying to her about how much he weighs since it isn't as much as me. I told her that he probably wasn't as I weigh more than most men I know including my dad (who is NOT a small man.)   That got me to thinking about my body type. I have been so fortunate in my life to always look like I weigh much less than I do. My weight is very evenly distributed over my body and I've always (well, until very recently) had a shape. The last area to really gain is my midsection. As I've gained this year into weights I have never been before, I have developed fat areas that I've never had. I now have a large belly and the dreaded intertube.   I have lost about 10 pounds on my liquid diet and I can tell a difference in my midsection. Although this area is smaller, I think I can tell that it is never going to be the same. Although I feel sure it would have only gotten worse, I am a little sad that I didn't start this process earlier.   Oh well, what's done is done. I'm quite sure that once I get to 180, I won't be disappointed!!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

5
 

Support

After I managed to extricate myself from my wallowing yesterday, I started thinking about how blessed I am to have the support system I have. I am one to push myself, but for me, support is critical.   First and foremost, my mom is my rock. She has been supportive (almost PUSHING me! ha!) from the very first moment. No hesitation whatsoever. We talk during my commute each morning and I'm estimating that on average 60% of our daily conversations are about my "journey". Today for instance, it was 95%. She and my dad are hands down my biggest fan/supporters and I love them dearly.   My best friend is not a nurturing type person (by her own admission) and listening to me talk about the surgery or my weightloss endeavors in general isn't her favorite thing. But she is always a trooper and I KNOW that she supports me in a happy life 100%. She is like a sister that doesn't fully understand my issues, but just wants whatever is best for me.   I have two exercise accountability partners. One is my godmother who works out with me on Tuesdays. We chat while we work out and use it as time to catch up. She was the first person other than my parents that I told of my LB plans. She has also been supportive from the first moment and likes to hear about the ins and outs that I learn along the way. I have another friend that I work out with on Wednesdays. She is a RUNNER...as in she ran the Boston marathon. With her, we put on our iPods and get to working out. Since we are at such different paces, it works out well. She is interested in all things healthy, so we often swap ideas about foods.   All three of these friends work with me. In addition to them, I have several other people that ask me about how things are going and never cease to give me compliments. In fact, one of our partners (who I barely know) gave me a gift card yesterday because he knew I hit the 50 pound mark. He had LB several years ago and although we have never discussed it directly, I can tell he is paying attention. He compliments me a lot and the support is just incredible.   Then I have LBT & my support group. I blog here several times a week and the feedback I get from you guys is so powerful! I can't believe how eager I am to check if anyone has responded to my blog, or a picture, or if they have posted a visitor message. I have befriended two ladies in my support group and we clicked right away. One carries on an email conversation with me everyday. We compare food choices and other things. The other texts me sporadically to ask me what's going on or to update me on something with her. It is amazing how close we have gotten in a short amount of time.   All of this and I didn't even get into my extended family (who I saw recently at my grandmother's funeral) or my close group of friends. ALL of them support me. i had one slight hiccup at the very beginning with one friend but we straightened it out quickly.   I write all of this to remind myself how lucky and blessed I am. I read stories on here how people are treated badly or have saboteurs in their lives. I know folks who have told nobody or only one person and don't have anyone to share their experiences with. I honestly can't imagine that. I competely respect everyone's choices on whether they tell, don't tell, or tell sparingly. Everyone is different and has different circumstances and needs. So, in my opinion, no one is WRONG in how they choose to handle it.   Today is a day that I see how wonderful life is! For those of you that are contemplating LB...I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you that my life is SO different from six months ago in the best possible way!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

2
 

Day #2 - Healing

Hi everyone! I am officially a bandster. Woo hoo!!   Mom flew in the night before and we briefly chatted and got ready for bed. I was really tired, but once I was in bed I was quite anxious so I took my $13 Valium. Next thing I knew it was morning.   We had to be at the surgery center at 6:45 so we were up and at it bright and early. We happened to walk in with my surgeon so I felt that was a good sign somehow. I was slated to go second for the day and I filled out my paperwork. They took the first girl back and it seemed just a few minutes later that they called me back. The nurses were super sweet as they prepped me. I had to give a urine sample before I had the surgery but I had to wait until the first girl was out of the bathroom. That took about 20 minutes, I think. Poor girl could never go so they brought her out to give her fluids and bumped me up a spot. Woo hoo!   I talked to the surgeon a bit. He's a feisty one. But I like that. I remember meeting the anesthesiologist (CA-UTE!) but nothing much after that. Next thing I knew I was in recovery. The nurse said that I did so great during my preop diet that my liver looked fantastic and the normally 45 minutes surgery took only 20! That made it all worth it.   I felt like I had been hit by a truck, but I was also feeling optimistic. I had to sit in post op for about an hour and I started to feel a bit better. As I was about ready to go the girl that got bumped came out of surgery and she was not having an easy time of it. I felt bad for her but it made me realize how well I was doing.   That was it and I was ready to go home. Mom drove me and I realized it was only 9:15. Wow. I was home three hours from the time I left in the morning. Crazy!   The day was long. I wasn't sleepy at all so a nap was out of the question. My mom kept me company and we watched mindless TV all day. I would move back and forth from the TV to the couch throughout the day. One thing I noticed is that I could lay on my side almost immediately. That surprised me, I took pain medication every four hours regardless of how I felt. I think that helped a lot. I also took a lot of GasX. It didn't seem to do much until late in the evening when I started to feel things moving in my tummy. I have been farting like a trucker ever since.   My throat hurt worse than I expected it to, my incisions hurt less than I expected to and my gas hurt about like I expected.   My friends at work sent me flowers which was super sweet. And I had a lot of friends and family members sending me good thoughts and messages.   I went to bed around 10 PM. I was able to cuddle a body pillow and sleep on my side. I slept quite well until 4:30 when I got up and took more pain medication. I went back to sleep and woke up around 8:00 to a text from my friend. (Side note: she recently had a break in, but is trying to hook up with the police officer that came by and I have been giving her pointers. She had just taken some thank you cookies to the station and needed some support. :thumbup: )   I still have gas today, but it has subsided quite a bit. Insicions hurt but only a little bit. My throat is almost all better. There is just a small cut on the top of my mouth from the breathing tube that is driving me crazy.   I have been drinking water like crazy. Yesterday I had grape juice, a popsicle and a tiny bit of chicken broth. No issues whatsoever. Today I have had more juice and I'm having hot tea now. I also took my birth control pill and had no issue. For lunch I will have some more chicken broth and for dinner I might get crazy and have some beef broth.   All in all...not a bad experience. Yesterday I felt like I got hit by a Mack truck, but today just a VW bug. Ha!   Hope you are all doing well out there!!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

5
 

Getting back on track after the blizzard.

It is nice to get back to normal after Thursday's record snowfall. We in the DFW area do not really know how to function with a foot of snow on the ground. I used to live in Indiana and I never let snow bother me. I have fully converted to Texan life it seems.   I have been logging my weight daily which turns out to be a very smart thing for me. I feel like I have not been losing anything...stuck on the same numbers for a while. I jump up and down by 1-3 pounds everyday, but it all evens out. It turns out that isn't true. First week preop diet - 7.3 lbs lost. Second week preop diet - 4.5 lbs lost. First week postop - 2.0 lbs lost. Second week postop - 5.4 lbs lost. Third week postop - 1.7 lbs lost. Woo hoo!   I realize that the "right" answer would be for me to stop weighing everyday. However, I 100% know that I cannot get myself to do that. And I can honestly say that up or down, it doesn't change what I do. I'm quite focused at this point. So, instead I'm logging my weight each day so I can see the weekly/monthly results and not focus so much on the daily fluctuations. I am much less frustrated now knowing that I lost 1.7 lbs this week!   Also, I am looking forward to going back to Jazzercise. I froze my account for a couple months so I didn't have to pay for time I couldn't go, but it unfreezes on 3/1 and I should have no trouble going back physically. March 1st is only two weeks from today! I will have to take it easy at first because I am WAY out of shape, but I know that it will jumpstart my weightloss and make me feel great!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

7
 

I've got a date!

Surgery date, that is! I have my pre-op and dietician consult on Tuesday, January 12th. That is when I start my pre-op diet. {cringe}   The big day is Wednesday, January 27th. That is 68 days away! With Thanksgiving and Christmas in there, time is going to fly by.   I'm quite excited! Now that everything is scheduled, it is truly time to just wait. I feel so relaxed, confident and completely satisfied with my decision. I know I will get nervous a few times between now and then, but I am ready.   My parents and 3 friends know right now. A couple remain supportive but skeptical. That's okay, because I plan to "show", not "tell." My plan is to actively blog, attend my support groups and do exactly what my doctor tells me to do.   And so it begins...!!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

5
 

November begins

November is off with a bang! Last night was my standard Jazzercise and it felt good. We did a lot of jumping which my feet grumbled about, but I was able to do most all of it! We did a move called a reverse plank where you are sitting with your feet straight out and you lift your body off the floor using your arms. That wasn't so bad. But then we had to take turns raising each leg in the air...that was hard! And I'm quite sure I wouldn't have been able to do it 50 pounds ago, much less 75!   Last night I sadly watched the Texas Rangers finish their spectalcular season. They were SO fun to watch and they truly made a fan of me. Once the game was over, I switched to MNF to watch my beloved Colts. It was nice to have a win to offset some of the World Series sadness. :-) Thank goodness I'm not a Cowboys fan!!! HAHA!   This morning I got up extra early and went for a 1.75 mile run. It is still really hard, but I feel better when it is done. I got ready and went to vote.   Cori & I usually ride together on election days, but we have different schedules today so I headed to the polling place alone this morning. Once I got there to check in, my name wasn't on the list. As they were calling it in, Cori walked in and she wasn't on the list either. Luckily, Cori had her voting card and it turns out that our precinct moved. Excellent! So off to the next polling place. I did my civic duty and STILL made it to work early.   Happy Election Day! If nothing else, all the negative ads will be behind us for a few months.
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

2
 

One Month Out

I've been having trouble posting my blog entries and have lost about three. Supposedly things are fixed, so here I go! I am one month out. I have lost 22 lbs and 8.75 inches. YAY!! Most of that was during my pre-op diet, but I'm still down in total since the surgery. I understand this is bandster hell and I'm trying! I've found that I'm less obsessed which is good, but since I didn't lose anything last week...maybe it isn't too good. I analyzed what I ate last week and found that I'm spending too many calories on carbs and fat. So my goal for this week is to really focus on high protein and low carb meals. My scale goal is to get on a downward, losing trend. I'm trying not to be too selfish and impatient, but I just want to go in the right direction! Working out again feels really good. I think it will take about 6 weeks for me to get in the habit of going to class 3-4 times a week, but that is my goal. I used to do that without a problem, but it is amazing what you can get used to when you are being lazy! I know that without a doubt, the exercise makes me feel better and it will help me get off those pounds. I am definitely feeling more restriction since my first fill. I have had trouble when I eat too fast or take too big of bites, so that has helped me to slow down. I have also had some trouble with heated up chicken no matter the size of the bites, so that has helped me modify my meal plan. Right now I'm having a protein shake for breakfast, my "big" meal at lunch (today was some chicken on a baked potato), an afternoon snack of pita chips and laughing cow cheese, and dinner (grilled chicken salad with boiled egg.) My breakfast, snack & dinner don't see much diversity, so I really try to mix it up at lunch. For instance, yesterday I had grilled catfish with a small amount (2 T?) of broccoli rice casserole. I eat lunch out almost every day. If anyone has any meal ideas for restaurants, please send them my way!! Have a great week!!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

5
 

Everyone has bad days.

I've been working hard for the last year and especially the last six months to stop making things "all about me." Meaning, I would not analyze what so-and-so meant by saying "blah blah" because most likely, it had nothing to do with me. I used to be very defensive and analyzed EVERYTHING! I've been working to change that about myself. Mainly because I found that when I was sad or upset, I turned to food. If I could stop getting sad or upset about things...turning to food wouldn't be an issue.   Today I feel myself wallowing in that old pattern. Just now I started to write down the 2 or 3 things I'm obsessing over and they looked SO silly in writing that I deleted them.   I'm glad I have this forum to write out my thoughts so I can just let them go. Everyone has bad days, but I want to focus my life in a way that creates more good days than bad.   My life is blessed and so happy! Just because not everyone does exactly what I want to do when I want to do it...   Tonight is my first night back (in 4 weeks) with my personal trainer. I better get it all out by then or he will beat the whiny out of me!!   Have a good one!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

3
 

Perky!

I talk to my mom during my daily commute to work. This morning she told me I was perky. Ha! I guess after two weeks, I'm finally getting back to myself.   I guess I was feeling a little psyched up today. Once I started eating solid food, I gained a couple of pounds. Today I had lost those plus another tenth. I feel like I'm getting started again!   Also, today is the first day I'm wearing jeans. I sit a lot and the waistband hits right at my incision. I have put off wearing them because I didn't want to irritate it. Today I put on a tank top to tuck in under my sweater and it seems to have made a nice protective barrier. Plus, the jeans fit well...almost loose! Since they were getting very snug before surgery, I'm feeling pretty good.   Today is also the first day I can have real (non-canned) chicken, fish, & vegetables. I'm going to Rockfish for lunch so YUM!   I don't eat my breakfast until 9:00 AM and we leave for lunch around 11:30 AM. So, lately I have been drinking half of my protein shake for breakfast and then drinking the rest around 3:30 when I'm starting to get a little hungry. It really seems to be working well and it is the same amount of calories, etc., they are just spread out!   My perky self better get back to work. Have a bandtastic day!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

2
 

Day #14 - Liquid Diet

This is it. This is the last day! So close!! YAY!     In my mind the process is broken down into steps: Waiting period - done.
Pre op diet - almost done!
Surgery
Healing
Weightloss
10% of weight lost (28.5 lbs)
50 pounds lost
75 pounds lost
Hit 200 (85 pounds lost)
100 pounds lost
Nutritionist goal (120 pounds lost)
Surgeon goal (135 pounds lost)
Adjusted goal TBD
[*]Maintenance I have no idea how long this all will take, but I do better when I have smaller obtainable goals. Getting through surgery is a biggie for me and that itself will be be done (probably) by this time tomorrow. Whoa. Ahem...anyway...   The only thing on my mind is to get through the surgery safely then start on healing. I consider the healing process to be from tomorrow afternoon through my first fill which is scheduled for 2/19.   I will give you all an update as soon as I can!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

6
 

Taking a break.

I'm not sure why I haven't blogged much this week. I don't feel bad or down, just not motivated to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard.)   Jax & I have reconciled, so that's good. I have taken a one week hiatus from exercise (which might be a very good reason I'm so blah right now.) I've decided to completely focus on food intake this week. I have done great! My goal is to keep it up next week when I layer in exercise, but to add a 150-200 calorie snack on big work out days (like Jazzercise.) I don't think I need additional calories for my small 20-30 minute lunch work outs.   Next week I will hit it hard, I actually start on Saturday with an hour of Jazzercise. I have more Jazz on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday & the following Saturday. That alone would be great! But I will also layer in at least one lunch work out on Tuesday and go from there.   Saturday I'm also getting my hair cut. I think I'm going to continue with the length. However, I'm thinking I might go shorter and sassier next time. But for right now, I like how my long hair is framing my thinning face. Plus, I wear it up most days because it is SO DARN HOT!!   I can't believe that tomorrow is Friday. This week has flown by! I hope you are all having a fabulous one!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

3
 

Tuesday is better than Monday.

Thank you all very, very much for your sweet comments about my hair. I'm officially on board with it (well, at least 80% and that's more than passing). I'm loving the fact that it only takes about 3 minutes to dry! The next test will be how it works out after my lunch runs. I'm not too worried about it though because my work folks have seen me about ever which way. :-)   So, I'm completely obsessed with the Rangers. I will admit that I'm a Bandwagon fan. I never got into baseball. But I LOVE watching the Rangers in the playoffs. First, the boys are super cute, so that never hurts. But I also love sports and competition and watching the Rangers and Yankees is just fun. Claw! (For those not in the know, the Rangers have the symbols of antlers and claw. Antlers represent speed and the claw is kind of a "high five".) So if you see a random CLAW in my posts over the coming days, that what it means. :-) Go Rangers!   Today is a bit of a tough day. One of my coworkers (from our East Coast office) is leaving my company. I have worked closely with him for over 10 years and he has played a big hand in shaping my career. We are friends as well as coworkers so I think we will keep in some kind of touch, but it won't be the same. Life moves on and everyone needs to do what is right for them, so I hold him no ill feelings and wish him the best. But I will miss him very much! At least he is going to be in town today (with another coworker from the East that I'm friends with as well), so I will get to say goodbye.   On another note, I measured the block around my apartment complex and it is 1.7 miles long. I want to start doing some running in the mornings, but I probably won't start until at least next week. Maybe 2 days a week?   Again, thank you all so much for your support and kind words. I love feedback! It makes such a difference knowing you are out there pulling for me. Know that I am here for you too!!   Beth
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

2
 

Day #9 - Liquid Diet

I defnintely got over my hump from yesterday, so YAY!! I'm so glad that I have stuck to it.   Since I have always been entertained by BG's poop stories, I have one of my own. Everything has been "regular" since starting my liquid diet. That is, until this morning. Whoa. Liquid in...liquid out. Blast off. Holy moly. Ahem. Anyway, I guess I have this to look forward to for the next few days. Fun times! Note to self: no quick toots in the file room! Not that I ever do that sort of thing. :thumbup:   I got my blood work today, so another things down. Just have to get my allergy shot today and go by the pharmacy for my post op meds.   Wow...it is really coming quickly! But I still have 5 more days of liquid, so it is okay that it is.   Have a super duper day!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

4
 

Entereing Bandster Hell...

All of my pains from surgery are behind me and I'm feeling good. I've not had any trouble eating from the beginning although I didn't have an appetite until this weekend. I gained 2 lbs this weekend from the solid food, but I guess that is normal. I'm not aloud to eat a lot of types of protein yet so I'm getting too many carbs. Wednesday I can add chicken and fish to my diet so that is going to help tremendously!!   I also need to get moving. I know I can't Jazzercise yet, but I can walk and work on my Wii. I need to make a committment and do that this week.   I have a support group meeting tonight, my first since being banded. It will be nice to be able to share some of my experience and to better understand some of what others will be sharing.   I'm sure Bandster Hell will get worse before it gets better. My first fill is a week from Friday. I just have to set my mind to "dieting" for a couple of weeks. That will be easier once I can eat meat and vegetables.   I can do it! Have a great week everyone!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

5
 

Starting out...

October 30, 2009: I have been researching LB for a few months now. I have had the initial consultation and learned that my insurance will not cover. I am still moving forward and have my initial meeting with my doctor on 11/17. Since I am paying for the procedure myself, I will need to wait until 2010 to take advantage of my company's flex med program. That will at least help with some of the cost.   I am keeping my mind open in case something comes along that makes me realize that this is not for me. However, I believe that I have done enough research to know most of the costs and benefits.   I am 35 and single so the decision is my own. My parents know I'm thinking of it and support me completely. My friends, although skeptical, realize they have no idea what I'm going through and will stand by my decision.   I have noticed that people who are active in a lap band community seem to be successful overall, so I have determined that I should try.   I'm not a writer by nature, but I think logging my experience (if only for myself) can only help. I have a long way to go, so the next few months will only be prep.   My motto for now: Prayers and preparation! :crying:
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

5
 

Productive weekend.

Weekends sure do seem to fly by, don't they? Friday was such a great day. Work was busy until around 3:00, then we all took out our new iPads and played. We showed each other which apps we had purchased and "ichatted". Ha! We are spoiled.   After work, I went home and freshened up, then Cori & I went to Ft. Worth. She had a gift card to PF Changs from her birthday. We did the meal for two which was a ridiculous amount of food for the two of us. I ate about 1/2 my hot and sour soup cup, 1 chicken lettuce wrap, then about 7 small pieces of chicken/shrimp from the two entrees. I did manage to have a few bites of dessert too. :scared2: Then we headed to the Bowling for Soup concert which was super fun. I LOVE them!!   We didn't get home until almost 2am, so I slept in instead of going to Jazzercise. In fact, except for a Tupperware party at 2pm and church at 6pm, I lazed around most of the day.   Sunday was a different story. While I didn't get up until 9:30, I was busy after that. I met some friends for breakfast. I LOVE EGGS! I went to the grocery store then came home and attacked both my laundry and the spare bedroom. I worked for about 4 hours around the house and really burned some calories! I completely finished my laundry and the spare room is about 90% ready for visitors.   I spent the evening catching up on the last season of WEEDS. That is such a crazy, but awesome show. Next thing I knew, it was time for bed and a new week!   Tomorrow is the end of the month and time for my monthly weigh in. Stay tuned. :sleep:
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

1
 

Ready for a fill.

I'm SO glad that I made the fill appointment. Yesterday, I really focused on what I was eating and my hunger. Morning was okay. I had my normal coffee then smoothie which generally gets me to lunchtime. I drink my coffee when I get to work and usually start my smoothie around 9:30. So, I'm not finished with it until 10:15 typically, and sometimes I'm not finished with it until 11:15 which is when we go to lunch.   Yesterday, I had lunch in and gave up working out as I mentioned in my blog. I had some soup (which isn't a good choice for staying power) along with a few tortilla chips and hummus. In retrospect, something solid would have helped keep the hunger at bay longer. In this case, I was hungry by 3:00. I had some greek yogurt and was fine until dinner.   By the time we got to the restaurant, I was starving. I did have a drink. It was called Between the Sheets. I asked the waiter (who I'm pretty sure was gay) how he liked Between the Sheets. Honest to goodness, I wasn't trying to be flirty, but it came out that way and my girlfriends thought it was hilarious. For the record, it was delicious! I was proud of myself because even though I'm able to eat bread, I passed on the deliciously-smelling rosemary bread that was delivered to our table. I ordered the tilapia dish which was grilled fish with the tastiest citrus caper sauce. It came with super thin cut fingerling potates and blanched arugula. I ate about half my fish and all of the potatoes. The problem came when my new waiter boyfriend gave me a complimentary red velvet cupcake. The place was known for their pastries, so who was I to say no?? I took my leftover fish (and the extra 2 cupcakes to my BFF who couldn't make it to dinner.) I stayed up to watch the disappointing Rangers game and by the time I went to bed, my stomach was growling. :-(   Jax tells me that between my calories consumed and calories burned (I didn't work out at all yesterday), I should have broke even. I was up 2 tenths on the scale this morning, so that make sense. I fluctuate 2-4 tenths with bloating, easy.   This is part of the process, I know. I will have to by hyper aware of what I'm eating. I will have to eat healthier because I'm requiring bigger portions to keep me full. That...and exercise...is what I will have to do until I can get some help with my fill. i will NOT let this set me back.   As frustrating as it is, I will probably not realistically reach Onederland by Thanksgiving. But that's okay. As long as I don't gain anything until my fill, I will consider it a success. After that, I will reevaluate. :-)   On a final note...I saw a friend last night that I hadn't seen in two months (actually, more like 10 weeks) because she was unable to make it to our last monthly dinner. She went on and on about how much weight I had lost and how good I looked. I've lost 12 pounds in that time which is more that I realized. I told my mom that I had only lost about 7 pounds since I had seen her. Ha! Anyway, 12 pounds is still less than 20% of my total weightloss. But I think those 12 pounds really made a substantial difference.   Okay, really the final note...today I'm wearing some skinny jeans. I've never worn skinny jeans before because they make my butt and thighs look to big. But I bought these and paired them with a black shirt and longish black and white cardigan. I have on tall black leather boots outside of the jeans. This is a real fashion risk for me, people! :-) I feel myself ready to make some bolder choices. Maybe it is the hair!   We are almost to the weekend, everybody! Hang on!!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

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Six Month Update

Yesterday, late in the day, I realized that it was the 6 month "anniversary" of the start of my LAP-BAND®® journey. My pre-op diet started on that day with me weighing in at 285 pounds. Prior to 2009, I had never weighed more than 255-260, so I was in a horrible place for me. Six months is not a long time at all, but looking back, it feels so much longer ago!   Last night, I went back and read my old blog entries from the beginning. I laughed because sometimes I can be so darn silly. I cried because I remembered how isolated and unhappy I was.   My favorite blog entry to read was the one I posted on 12.10.09 titled "Ailment Buster!" I had made the decision to have the surgery, but was still wondering if it was the "right" thing to do. I listed out all my issues and how losing weight (which I felt I couldn't do without surgery) would help those issues.   Here I am, 6 months later and 58 pounds lighter with an update.   Sleep - I had gotten so big that my CPAP was no longer working effectively. My friend & I went on vacation together and she said that it slipped off and made noises all night. I was tired all the time and it was clear there was a problem. Now, my CPAP is working! I'm less tired and I have more energy. I just went on a weekend trip with my friend and she said that she didn't hear a peep all night!   Acid Reflux - I was on 2 Nexium per day pre-surgery. TWO! I haven't taken any since my surgery and I have had no issues. I never imagined that it would have that much of an effect from day one.   Blood pressure & cholesterol - My blood pressure has been in the LOW normal range since the surgery. No issues!! I haven't had my cholesterol checked yet, but I'm sure that it will be good too!   Skin - I am proud to say that I can now reach every area of my body in order to clean it well. Ha! Yay! I have had hardly any breakouts since the surgery which comes from eating better, I'm sure. Also, I don't have as much of an issue with flab rolls causing rashes. Now I'm just trying to work on my stretch marks!   Feet - Through most of 2009 and the start of 2010, my feet ached constantly. I had to wear tennis shoes or crocs all the time. I still have issues with plantars fasciitis, but my feet don't ache all the time. I can wear cute shoes to work! Also, I've started jogging and as long as I don't over do it, my feet are able to handle it!   Knees - I have noticed hardly ANY issues with my knees. Maybe a little when jogging or Jazzercising hard, but nothing much. And I think even that will fade with more weightloss.   Energy - while I don't always have optimal energy, I sure do beat the pants off where I was. I go, go, go all the time!   Anxiety - I have had almost no anxiety issues since the surgery. I believe that most of my anxiety stemmed from being uncomfortable with myself and insecure. The better I look and the better I feel, the less I worry about EVERYTHING.   Comfort - The difference is astounding. Last weekend I went on vacation and I spent very little time checking on whether I was the fattest girl around. It still happened sometimes, but it used to consume me. I think I am back to a "normal" comfort level for me. I am eager to see just how comfortable I can get!!   WOW! Six months. Almost no time in the grand scheme of things. Many times I have expressed my frustration or impatience to you all and then used your strength to psych myself back up. Now here I am, back to "normal". Such a relief. I am so happy!   By Fall, I expect to be at my lowest weight as an adult. Then I will be headed into uncharted territory. It is so exciting! It feels SO far away, but 6 months have passed so quickly that I know it will be here before I know it.   I have worked hard, but I haven't worked so hard that I can't maintain this pace. This life is doable. I'm doing it and I'm going to keep doing it!!   I ended that blog with a quote, "The more you love yourself, the easier you are to love by those who love you." As I have become more comfortable with myself, the less focus I put on what others do. It is absolutely freeing! I do LOVE myself and I'm loving me more and more each day. I can tell that it has an effect on my friendships and other relationships. The good ones are getting stronger and the not-so-good ones are showing themselves and fading away.   Halfway there everyone! Can't wait to check the status of everything next January!!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

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Missing blog entry...

I have been having trouble with my internet connection and accessing this site the last few days. I just noticed that my blog entry from yesterday didn't actually make it to posting. It was brilliant too, I tell you. Brilliant! :rolleyes2: Anyway, I lost another 1.5 lbs this week which was really good because I had GAINED 3 lbs early in the week preceding my fill. 3 lbs! That is nuts. I got my fill on Friday though and all is well. Being on liquid for two days really jumpstarts the weight loss. YAY! My first fill was great. My surgeon has all the newbies have the first fill together. It was a little mini support group and I got to hear a lot of different experiences. The fill itself did not hurt at all. Plus, I got a Scooby Doo bandaid. Excellent! Tonight is my first night back to Jazzercise. That should be interesting! I had excellent intentions of walking or working out on my Wii prior to getting back to Jazzercise. Didn't happen. Not even remotely. I just need structure to exercise. I hate that, but at least I have found something that works. I'm sure I will whine for the next few weeks, but in the end I will feel great! I want to lose this weight and I think for me, exercise along with the healthier diet is the key. I want this, so I am committing myself. I hope everyone is having a great week!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

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15 weeks

Tomorrow will be 13 weeks post surgery. Wow...time certainly does fly. Yet, in some ways it feels that it was much longer ago. 15 weeks ago I started my pre op diet. For 15 weeks I have been making more healthy choices than unhealthy choices. I honestly can't remember a time when I was that dedicated to anything non-work related for that long.   Today the anticipation of weighing actually got me out of bed. It is kind of funny, but true. I lost 3.2 lbs. last week which is good, but being that it was a fill week, it wasn't outstanding. Plus, Saturday morning I was down a pound from that and subsequently gained it back over the weekend. Yesterday, I did eat 1800 calories which is high for me. My metobolic test showed that I should be able to eat 2200 calories per day with no exercise and maintain. So, although I ate 1800 calories, I worked out for 65 minutes (25 elliptical & 40 Jazzercise). SO...I just knew that pound was going to be gone. I kind of hoped that there would be more, but I'm not greedy, that one pound would be sufficient.   You all know what is coming here...a great big fat ZERO. That's right, nothing. Nada. Zip. ::deep breath:: My body does this and I know better. But darn it if it doesn't get me riled up. I know it's okay though. I know that I need to continue to follow the rules and it will work out.   All of this got me thinking...15 weeks. I've been doing this for 15 weeks. Yes, I have frustrating mornings like I had this morning, but I also know that it will work itself out. I am working hard by working out. I am working hard (for me) by not eating heavy foods and sweets ALL THE TIME. But I'm not working so hard that I can't continue. That's why I have been able to do this for 15 weeks.   Another reason I have been able to do this is that I can't not. There have been a few days in there where I just wanted a big fat cheeseburger...but I can't eat a big fat cheeseburger. It is just not possible. Flat out...my tastes are changing. I have found that I don't even like French fries anymore because I have to chew them so much they don't taste good anymore. It's been 15 weeks and I'm doing well. The band isn't making me exercise, but I am. The band isn't making me order the grilled chicken instead of the fried, but I am (most of the time.) And most importantly, the band doesn't comfort me in the way that food used to, but I'm not letting it get me down.   This is MY journey. MY life. MY band. I can't live exactly as anyone else and they can't live exactly like me. I'm owning this 15 weeks of positive life change. It is MINE!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

4
 

Monthly Update

Another month gone by! In some ways, it is hard to believe that it has been over 7 months since my surgery. In other ways, it just seems like it could've been a few weeks ago!   I was only slightly dissappointed when I realized that my loss for the month was 4.8 pounds. I mean pre-surgery, that would have been a really big deal! It is 60% of my monthly average. So the irritating portion of my brain says that isn't enough, but the other portion (the one that I CHOOSE to listen to) says that I should be proud of myself. I hit a plateau this month and instead of quitting in discouragement, I hit it head on. I learned a lot about myself and my body and I got myself back on track. THAT is the difference between me NOW and me BEFORE. I like it!!     That little lady is on the move! :tt2:   Today, I took my monthly measurements which I take in 13 places (neck, upper arms, wrists, bust, waist, belly, hips, thighs, calves). I am absolutely thrilled that I lost 11.25" this month. I have been tracking weight loss/measurements for eight months to include my preop diet. In those eight months, this is the 3rd most inches lost, but the LOWEST pounds lost. That just goes to show how important it is to measure!! It sent me from "not being disappointed" to being "absolutely thrilled." :thumbup: YAY!   I have to go sit through some boring CPE webinar. Boo! Talk to you all later!!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

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Back (again!) from vacation...

Hi everyone! It is a busy day getting back into the swing of things. I will have to post about my trip tomorrow.   In the meantime, I'm very proud to say that I lost a pound on this vacation that I found on the last vacation!! :cursing: So, only a pound to go until I'm back to my lowest again.   Also, I got a fill yesterday so that should help me control some of my hunger. I was holding my own, but it was tough.   It is time for progress pictures! I have attached my "Casual" pics from the beginning, last month and this month. I also attached "Head" pics from the beginning and this month.   I will post the super fun "Spandex" pics tomorrow.   I missed you and look forward to getting back into my routine!! :thumbup:
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

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Like Guns & Roses...I need a little Patience!

I'm a self pay patient and I'm scheduled for 1/27. I love the doctor and the package of care that is included, so I was fine with the price. Expensive, but it is what I wanted.   I saw a commercial today and the advertised price for EXACTLY what I have scheduled had dropped $3k. Holy cow.   I made a call to the office and left a message with my contact to see if I can get the newly advertised price. Hopefully, they will just say yes and that will be the happy end of it.   But of course, I'm nervous that they won't.   Nothing I can do until they call me back.   For you GNR fans...   I sit here on the stairs 'Cause I'd rather be alone If I can't have you right now I'll wait, dear Sometimes I get so tense But I can't speed up the time But you know, love There's one more thing to consider
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

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Back to the routine!

I've missed you all! It seems like forever since I've posted. My parents always keep me so darn busy.   They flew in Thursday and since they hadn't seen me in person since Memorial Day, they were pleased to see much less of me when I picked them up at the airport. When we got home, my friend Marie dropped off my new headboards she made which are super cute! My master BR one is faux leather and the spare BR is denim. Since I never had headboards, it really helps finish off the room.   Friday we went Living Room furniture shopping. I bought a piece of furniture that is two black leather recliners connected by arm rest cup holder things. It is kind of like theater seating except there are only two and it is super comfortable! I think I mentioned that I was tight last week after my fill. Late in the week I think my allergies were working overtime and I started to develop a respirtory infection. By Friday, I could hardly drink water because the drainage was so bad. I spent Friday night sleeping in my brand new recliner. Nothing like breaking it in right off the bat!   Saturday morning bright and early, my dad went with me to the doc for a slight unfill. I only wanted him to take out the .1 cc that was put in last week, but he took out .5 cc instead. I did feel immediately better! Then my mom & I went clothes shopping. I bought tons of shoes and winter clothes. Several items are snug and I won't be able to wear them until later in the winter, but I find closet shopping to be so fun. :thumbup: Plus, I was only bargain shopping now. Only discount stores and preferrably on sale! That was the motto of the day. Today I'm wearing some new things. I have on old blue jeans (that really are getting quite baggy) and black tank top, then over it I'm wearing a new teal short sleeve sweater. I'm also wearing new super pointy yet small healed nude Nine West pumps. I love fun shoes! We met my BFF Cori for dinner at Fuzzy's Tacos on Saturday. I love me some Fuzzy's!!   Sunday brought some errands. I actually bought a bra at Victoria's Secret. OOOOoooohhhhh! Pretty. That and a motorcycle jacket I bought at Nordstrom Rack were the two splurges of the weekend. I'm satisfied with both!   Last night we wrapped up the weekend watching my Colts. Woo Hoo! They kicked some brother butt. :thumbup: I like Eli, but I like winning better. Ha!   Today I'm back at work and will take the parents to the airport at lunch. It was great to see them, but it is time to get back into the routine.   My unfill is going to make it a challenge to eat correctly, but I know I can do it. I'm not sure when I will be able to get in for another fill, so it is up to me to make it work for a while. I'm committed to 4 Jazzercise classes this week and 1 running session. So, THAT should help keep things along. My goal is to be 210 by my New Orleans trip (10/01), and I'm only 2.2 pounds away!!   Have a great Monday everybody!!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

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