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Blog 69691

A blog by ifyourstomachoffendsyou in General

  • Entries

    113

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    178

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    16,835

About this blog

A weight loss surgery blog by ifyourstomachoffendsyou on BariatricPal. 113 entries on surgery, recovery and progress.

Entries in this blog

Mindfulness

Tuesday, June 23, 2009   Mindfulness     I'm adding real food, real liquid food. I had a small amount of cream of tomato soup today. I enjoyed every drop, and that's how I drank/ate it--drop by drop. At least I started out that way. Although I continued to eat drop by drop, I stopped being aware of the taste and the eating became automatic until suddenly my final swallow ended up right back in my mouth. Suddenly I was aware of the taste again. There's a Hindu philosophy/practice called min

Now Comes the Hard Part

Monday, June 22, 2009   Now Comes the Hard Part     So, now comes the hard part: facing the addiction. I will be around food the rest of my life. My stomach will heal and start to stretch. The adjustable band will help keep it in check but I can still choose to make less healthy food choices frequently, and overstretch the stomach.   I will be eating a relatively normal, 3 meals a day diet with a small snack or 2. I will still be assaulted by the smell, taste, texture, sight and even sou

Back to the Womb

Sunday, June 21, 2009   Back to the Womb     The day of surgery I was hooked up to an IV which became my umbilical cord, bringing me nutrients and drugs needed to do the surgery. Now I'm a newborn baby, only able to drink in tiny quantities, not much nourishment yet, quickly filling my tiny tummy. In a couple more days, I'll be drinking richer liquids, but still only in tiny quantities. Gradually I'll be introducing soft baby food, with an emphasis on protein ground to mush. As I tolerate

Coping Without Food

Saturday, June 20, 2009   Coping Without Food     Today, for the first time this summer, we needed our air-conditioning. It was out of freon. We paid twice the normal rate to have someone fill it. We ran out again. We will probably need to replace the air-conditioner for which we have no money.   We also need to dig up either the inside of our basement or the outside to put in draintile. All the basement paneling needs to be thrown out. The hidden walls are a mess as is the cement floor

Surgeries Done, New Life's Begun

Friday, June 19, 2009   Sugery's Done, New Life's Begun     Surgery went well. The Dr. fixed a hiatal hernia (common with overweight people) which should fix my GERD (gastroesophogeal reflux). That'll be one less pill right there. However, with laparoscopic surgery air gets put into the abdominal cavity. Every time I take a sip of liquid and I swallow some air goes into my stomach which pushes on the air outside the stomach which presses some nerve in the diaphram that sends referred pain

Christians and Closets

Wednesday, June 17, 2009   Christians and Closets     Surgery is tomorrow, Thursday. I have to be at the hospital at 8:30. I had confirmation today that I'm having this surgery in the nick of time. My pre-op blood tests came back and showed I'd moved from borderline diabetic to diabetic. That makes 3 co-morbidities. Lord I am tired of this disease!   It is amazing to me that Christians don't talk about food addiction and obesity. It's not like we can't see it. We may be in the closet abo

Validation and Pizza

Tuesday, June 16, 2009   Validation and Pizza     The support of those I love and of various friends has been amazing. I feel supported and confident most of the time. I've been prayed with and prayed for and the degree of understanding and compassion has been very validating.   I've lost 10 lbs on this low-carb liquid diet which should be good for the surgery. Hopefully, my liver has shrunk. I haven't been very hungry which is amazing. Writing in this blog has been a tremendous release

The Cost of Food Addiction

Monday, June 15, 2009   The Cost of Food Addiction     Sometimes I kid myself and think the only person I've hurt with my addiction is myself. My life so often consists of helping everyone else. How can I be hurting them?   Food is a barrier to intimacy. I don't talk while I eat. I'm totally absorbed in my food, which I devour like someone might take it away before I'm done. I just might stick them with a fork if they tried. I stand and stare at food which I want to eat but know I should

Surgery as Surrender

Sunday, June 14, 2009   Surgery as surrender     Having once been married to an alcoholic and having attended Alanon for many, many years, I've learned a lot about addiction. I know that we are addicts because we are addicts. Environmental issues can impact the predisposition of our genes, but once our addictions are triggered, we are addicts because we are addicts.   I also know that in order to recover you have to be willing to do whatever it takes. You surrender your will to God and b

Doubts and Fears

Saturday, June 13, 2009   Doubts and Fears :crying:     I was up a good part of last night questioning myself, afraid of going through surgery, afraid of all the food restrictions following surgery and the thought of a restricted diet the rest of my life. I'm afraid of some unidentified heart problem causing blood pressure or heart rate problems during surgery. There were a few questionable things but nothing severe in all the tests I had. Those things will hopefully disappear along with th

There But For the Grace of God

Friday, June 12, 2009   There but for the grace of God :crying:     Today I spent 9 hours having tests and seeing Doctors--well, at least I was in their waiting rooms. I saw the surgeon, the dietician, and the anethesioligist's nurse practitioner with a brief talk with the anesthesiologist.   Taking medical histories has become quite time-consuming. Hippa may be partly responsible for that. You have to give the same information over and over again.   The low-carb liquid diet I'm on has

Goodbye to food--at parties

Thursday, June 11, 2009   Goodbye to food---at parties:crying:     I have at least 5 parties to attend over the next 3 weekends and I'm going to have to attend them without having food as a crutch. I'm going to have to bring food and not eat it. I have to talk to people without relying on food to allay my social anxiety and fear of putting my foot in my mouth in one of my impulsive, ADHD moments.   I won't be able to gorge myself on foods I would never have in my home or buy for myself.

Goodbye, Food

:crying:Wednesday, June 10, 2009   Goodbye, food     Last night I said goodbye to food--forever. Well, not quite. But I did have to start on a low-carb, liquid diet in preparation for lap band surgery, which, the Lord willing, will happen next Thursday. Its been a long journey. I began the official process a year ago, when I'd had enough with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, borderline diabetes and constant pain from osteo-arthritis. I jumped through a lot of insurance hoops and test

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