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Read more about Scary

Scary

I've been a little scared lately.   Last week, I had an episode. I felt really closed in and I thought I was gonna die if I didn't eat something. There's no way I could have really been THAT hungry. I had breakfast that morning and had had lunch a couple hours prior. I just had a sudden anxiety about needing to eat and not being able to (I was at work and had a few hours til it was time to leave).   Then yesterday, I was at my friends house, and she commented on how small my face looked. Sh

• 1 Comment
• 297 views

• jlray
• June 7, 200917 yr

Read more about Boys

Boys

Last week I ran into an old crush at the convenience store. We talked for about 15 minutes in the parking lot and he asked me for my number!! I was so super excited, and I was feeling extra confident. I took his number, too but I'm old fashioned. I wanted him to call first. So I waited and waited. He never called. Finally I texted him, asking him a general question about the pool (he's a lifeguard). He called me back right away and said he never had my number because he had given me his and had

• 4 Comments
• 331 views

• jlray
• June 5, 200917 yr

Read more about Battles

Battles

I've been coming to the realization that every mealtime is battletime for me. I often go into a meal thinking it's just time to eat, but I really need more awareness than that. It's time to make good food choices, chew very well, take tiny bites, and ask myself all the right questions. It's not as enjoyable as it used to be, but I don't mind giving up the enjoyment of 3 thirty minute meals each day if it means being happier the other 22.5 hours of the day.   And as with all of life's battles

• 2 Comments
• 297 views

• jlray
• June 3, 200917 yr

Read more about Introduction Blog

Introduction Blog

This will be my first blog here, so I'll briefly introduce myself to the world of blog-readers, though it may be small.   I'm 29 (until a week from tomorrow) and I had surgery on March 6, 2009. I have an Allergan 4cc band placed in Juarez, Mexico by Dr. Jose Rodriguez.   Before I decided to have the surgery, I was at my heaviest ever. Shortly after losing 30 pounds or so on Atkins, I started re-gaining weight very quickly; roughly 70 pounds in just a few months following my parent's breakup.

• 9 Comments
• 363 views

• jlray
• June 1, 200917 yr