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Blog 42354

A blog by debbieperez55 in General

  • Entries

    15

  • Comments

    50

  • Views

    4655

About this blog

A weight loss surgery blog by debbieperez55 on BariatricPal. 15 entries on surgery, recovery and progress.

Entries in this blog

Such a long road, but what twists and turns

Well, it is my Band Anniversary and things have changed.   #1 I left my husband, a cruel and abusive man. I grew a spine and walked out the door with nothing. He told me I had changed. He was angry that I lost weight. He lost his control over me. It is now a very bitter divorce, but I am free.   #2 I am dating again. It has been a year and I love my freedom. I have grown so much. I love myself for the first time in my life. I have excess skin, you don't like it, tough!!! My tummy

Back - But A Little Late

Well, I did the unthinkable. I gained. I went from 180 to 245. YES, all that hard work down the toilet. Battling depression, migraine headaches and cereal addiction. Yes, you can be addicted to the carbs in cereal.   Went back to my surgeon, he did not beat me up as I had imagined. Everyone was so nice. The do fills in the office so it is so much more convenient.   I thought I needed to be filled tight, but after she put 1 cc in she had me drink. YIKES - PAIN!!!, so 1/2 cc out and I

What a year

There have been ups and downs. Loss of motivation and triumps. The scale has dropped to new lows. Clothes purchased just a 6 months ago are loo large. Pictures from last Christmas look foreign.   And in the end, it is all me. I have grown emotionally and shrunk physically. It has been over a year now and what a difference. I am not, under any circumstances THIN, but that was NEVER my goal.   I glanced at my reflection in the window while shopping today and one word came to my mind. NORMAL.

What I have learned

These are some of the lessons I have learned there is no magic bullet the band is not "the answer" to all your problems you need to exercise - no really, you need to be active if you have to loose 100 pounds your skin will sag you have to stick to a low calorie meal plan you MUST control your portion sizes you have to cut into small bites you have to CHEW CHEW CHEW The most important thing to remember, you must, understand, this is the most important thing. YOU MUST MAINTAIN

Step Away From The Box - will I ever learn

What is it about carbs? I know I need them, but it is a fine line beween need and NEED!   My tooth broke two weeks ago and I had to get a crown, back molar. Turns out I had a huge cavity that didn't show on the X-Ray and the tooth just gave way. I am lucky, they say, it didn't break down the middle. I am not a "good" patient, I sweat, almost jump out of my skin. I HATE THE DENTIST. In the middle of my "fix" the novacaine quit working, turns out I am hypersensative. Dentist numbed me aga

Plateaus - and life learned

The excitement of the pre-band life is long gone. All the hoops that had to be jumped through for the insurance companies. Then you have the "has my liver shrunk enough" issues. The pre-op tests, the dreaded "head shrinker" appointment and the liquid diet.   The after glow of the first weeks post op band have faded. We learned a new vocabulary - Mushies, PB, Sliming. We went through our stages and excitely shared the foods we were able to add.   And we learned. We learned to Never

Mirror Mirror on the wall........... The truth and nothing but the truth

There is nothing like the stark, naked truth. You and the mirror. Mortal enemy, always truthful, always brutal.   Today I purchased a swim suit. Someone told me to get a bikini. OMG - did they want everyone to run screaming from the pool? They do not realize what lurks beneath the safety of clothing.......... They don't know, and they never could even imagine.   The brutal truth is that as I am in a smaller total size, BUT - I still have all the skin that covered my 289 pound frame. I

Okay, so I cut the stings

I guess I wanted a relationship so badly with my Mom that I started to sacrafice myself, AGAIN. She even began telling me what I could eat or not eat, what I should wear and how I should cut my hair. She even said that I needed to do something with my midsection, it is really too big. HELLO, can you say excess skin!!!!! And for some reason my port sticks out. But I am okay with it, I really am. My hubby says, hey look how far you have come. The hanging skin doesn't bother him in the least

How long do you take abuse before you just give up?

My Mother. I feel comfortable writing this because she doesn't have a computer. I do not like talking about people behind their backs, but this is mostly for me, from me.   My Mother is Mean and Self Centered. She always has been. No, I am not using this as a therapy couch, so I will just say that she is very Self Centered.   My Father died 3 1/2 years ago. Part of me died too. I hadn't talked to my mother in two years. While my Father was in the hospital I vowed to make up with m

And the winner is...............

So those of you who might have read my last entry noticed I was having a HUGE problem with gas. Well, after switching to soy, cutting out all meat and taking stupid digestive enzymes that I got from GNC, the verdic is in. I had to go back to the Dr, the problem was getting worse. I was humilated and I couldn't stand myself. I prayed a lot at work and turned on my fan and took walks. Going to a store was always at a fast pace, stay ahead of the smell, exercising would just bring it on.   S

What do you mean - NO ANIMAL PROTIEN

WARNING - this is an embarrassing topic.   Okay, don't ask my why, but my stupid body went wacko. I mean totally freaked out. It all started when I noticed an unusual sensativity to milk and dairy products. I use to eat Sugar Free Pudding, Dark Chocolate and cheese. I started getting very serious lactose problem so I assumed I was lactose intollerant. So I switched to Lactaid Milk. Occassionally had pudding and cheese, but noticed that the symptoms were getting worse. So I cut out all D

Family - can't live with them, can't live without them - yeah right!

Okay, I set myself up. I was arrogant and self serving. Pridefull and maybe a little too forthcoming.   My Mother wanted to see her Brother. Haven't seen them since my Father died three years ago. So, I told my Mom I would take her. After all, I have lost about 105 pounds and I wanted to "strut my stuff".   That was my first mistake.   So I dressed in my "thinnest" clothes, Lee Rider Jeans really do slim you! My Husband thought I looked so good, he took a picture. Okay - before I N

My how time flies.

It was a little over a year ago that I even heard the word "lap band". Oh I saw the commercials on TV where the woman said the band helped tame her Lion hunger into a kitty cat. Well I had the LION hunger and then some. I have said it many times, I could eat half a cow and still eat more. It is amazing the amount of food one can consume at one sitting. I would spend $5.00 on breakfast, $10.00 on lunch and then go pick up hambergers for dinner. And it was a super size fry, not that whimpy s

How it really is

What is it that makes us view our bodies in such a distortion. Everytime I have lost significant weight I have always considered myself still fat. And when I was at my highest weight I didn't realize I looked so bloated and large.   I mean, it is stupid things. Like before I lost I would only look at myself from the chest up, like my huge butt and stomache wasn't really there. I actually thought those long loose tops hid the bulk of my body. Swollen legs and ankles, only look at your fe

Let's put it in perspective

Yesterday was the worse New Year's Eve I have ever experienced. My Sister-In-Law was just told by her Doctor that she has Lung Cancer. It is in her lungs, bronchi, trachea, esophagus, on her adrenal glads, in her lymph nodes and she has something on her liver. She also suffers from headaches, so now I wonder, is it there too? She goes for a biopsy next week.   So there I was, wrapped up in my own life, my husband's company just moved and he lost his job. At 50 and in this job market prospects

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