Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!
$99 Yearly Supply Alert! 🎉 "1 per Day!" Bariatric Multivitamins
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
  • entries
    175
  • comments
    176
  • views
    2,141

About this blog

my journey to gorgeous 160lbs again!

Entries in this blog

 

242 SAT 1/28/06

:clap2: WALKED PAST MY HONEY & HE DIDN'T EVEN RECOGNIZE ME! HE WAS TALKING TO NANCY & ASKED HER WHO JUST WALKED BY. GRANTED I WASN'T WEARING A COAT (55DEGREES IN JAN!) BUT IT FELT GOOD. GOT MY HAIR COLORED LOOKS GOOD BFAST: 1 EGG, 2 C'TAIL SSAGES= 70+ 75 = 145 LUNCH: 3/4C CHILLI SNACK:1/2 BAG OF HONEY GRAHAMS B4 DINNER 1/4 LEFTOVER CHILLI 220 + 50 = 415 DINNER @ BEN'S 4 OF CORNED BEEF=270= 695 + CRACKERS & TEPENADE = 200= 895 COULDN'T EAT MORE THAN THAT...HARD 2 IMAGINE...I MUST HAVE ONLY EATEN 2OZ ( BARELY) @ BENS
luvlif

luvlif

1
 

HANG IN THERE NINA!

I don't know about you, but some days I just feel like giving up..... watching what we eat, sometimes even portion control if the restriction is not there yet, exercising, the band rules............   But guys, don't give up, because at least we have already lost some weight, and we only have the rest to lose, imagine where we would be if we had never started this journey!!   I hope you are inspired by the quote below:     "When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn." By Harriet Beecher Stowe
luvlif

luvlif

1
 

241lbs 2/3

B:CRABMEAT SALD 80 CALS L:GRILLED CHICK FILET W CHEESE 210+5PC CHICK NUG 220CALS 430 +80=510
luvlif

luvlif

1
 

4/17 NSV!

FIT IN SIZE16 OLD NAVY CAPRIS YESTERDAY & GAVE AWAY MY SIZE 22S TO GOODWILL.
luvlif

luvlif

1
 

11/3

CAME IN BY HIMSELF....LOOKED SAD....W MY CHECK
luvlif

luvlif

1
 

5/11 220

WALKED SAT 1.5MI WALKED SUN 3 MI @ SUNKEN MEADOW BOARDWALK WEIGHED 220LBS TODAY...MY CHELSEA CAMPBELL JACKETS FIT! NOW I HAVE MORE CLOTHES THAN I CAN IMAGINE!
luvlif

luvlif

1
 

4/1 227 1/2!

:girl_hug: :clap2: :D 227.5! :D :clap2: ONWARD!:clap2: :D :clap2: I'M SOOO HAPPY! WENT TO GEISS YESTERDAY 238 ON HIS SCALE.247 ON HIS SCALE 2/14/06 OH WELL, I'M HAPPY HAD A SMALL ADJUSTMENT... AGAIN MEL COULDN'T GET TO IT,POWERS & KAREN CAME IN & IT TOOK POWERS A WHILE TO ACCESS IT TOO! I TOLD THEM TO JUST GIVE ME .01CC. WENT TO VICTORIA SECRETS & BOUGHT A NEW BEAUTIFUL BRA & IT FITS GREAT!   ONWARD! THE BEST IS YET TO COME! I WANT TO LIVE MORE ABUNDANTLY I'M WEARING ALL NEW CLOTHES... NEW SUITS, JACKETS, PANTS & SHIRTS! YIPEE! (& BRAS & UNDERWEAR TOO!) HAD MY HAIR COLORED BUT DARKER DON'T KNOW STILL IF I LIKE IT. MET JANE FRIED @ CHINESE BUFFET, SHE LOOKS GOOD...HAD HER NECK, ARMS & TUMMY TUCK $18K SHE DIDN'T RECOGNIZE ME @ FIRST! NEITHER DID MATT'S WIFE (FAI'S FRIEND)
luvlif

luvlif

1
 

239.5! LETS GO! INTO THE 30'S GOAL 230 BY MAR 1

GOAL 230 BY MAR 1 I NEED TO WALK 2X DAILY I LOOK GOOD! MY HAIR IS POKER STRAIGHT & FULL, I'M WEARING MY TAN TOP W GREY PANTS THAT ARE LOOSE. nsv both pants that Aideen gave me last month that fit are now loose & baggy WALKED 35 MINS IN AM 1.1 MILE BREAKFAST 1/2 C COTTAGE CHEESE 90 & 2 C TEA 1LG C (20 OZ) AT MEETING NOT V RESTRICTED TO DAY LUNCH: 1C TOMATO ROASTED PEPPER SOUP 80 & 1/2 C COTTAGE CHEESE 90 AFTER EATING I FELT RESTRICTED We fought after mtg he said I keep bothering him after he's done that Roger & I stopped him & I pointed a finger @ him. I told him he was splitting hairs & I couldn't believe the President of MLS would act the way he was. (He's pissed @ me because I am so shut down, now he doesn't get any vibe from me... & I look good ... how dare I not give him any good vibes...told me "who the hell are you" & I answered softly,"Right, who the hell am I after 3 years of working to build your company." He bolted to the door, I said "wait don't just run out" "No" he said & he ran out the door. He knew he went too far. RW said to me after, you 2 are funny how you guys banter because I said "whatever" is what teeny boppers say. I called Holb 4 Pattie & she was snotty 2 me... Either he told her to be that way or he was nasty 2 her too.
luvlif

luvlif

1
 

new goal

"Unwritten"   I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned   Staring at the blank page before you Open up the dirty window Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find   Reaching for something in the distance So close you can almost taste it Release your inhibitions Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins The rest is still unwritten   I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way   Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins The rest is still unwritten   Staring at the blank page before you Open up the dirty window Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find Reaching for something in the distance So close you can almost taste it Release your INHIBITIONS   Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips treat yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins   Staring at the blank page before you Open up the dirty window Let the sun illuminate the words That you could not find   Reaching for something in the distance So close you can almost taste it Release your INHIBITIONS   Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips treat yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins   Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips treat yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins The rest is still unwritten The rest is still unwritten
luvlif

luvlif

1
 

242 SUN 1/29/06

BFAST:1 EGG & 1 LITE HOT DOG 70+50= 120 SNACK 100 CH& CRKRS LUNCH 3/4 CHILLI & 1/2 POT=165+135 300=520 1/2 BAG GRAHAM 50=570 DINNER:INDIAN FOOD 650 =1220 MARIA CAME TO SEE ME COULDN'T BELIEVE HOW I LOOKED.
luvlif

luvlif

1
 

10/21 HURTFUL PEOPLE

I feel your pain hon and I am so sorry that your spirit is sore. You have all that any man could and should want, but humans are stupid creatures. Never knowing what they are looking for till it has passed them by. Within you is a light that shines thru the darkest days and somewhere there is a man who will see that light and know he has found something magical! I know that does not erase the pain you now feel, but I also know it is the truth. God made each of us in different strengths... for different reasons, some of us may never know why...but you have so much to offer the world I can not help but believe that your strength is a gift meant for wonderous things. Be strong hon, feel the pain if you must but believe in the light as well! No one as beautiful and caring as you can go un noticed for too long. Be proud of who you are and what you have done!   You are gorgeous. We all suffer from insecurity, even those size 4's do. People that talk about you behind your back are not worth a second thought. They are the flawed ones, not you.   Have you ever heard the saying "fake it till you make it"? I bet if you acted as though you had confidence and were proud of yourself, you would soon realize that it is you who is seeing you the way that you do and not others. Walk tall girl, you are very special, you just need to believe it and reflect it.     and remember that you are never alone, even though you may think it..... you are never alone! I am so sorry to know someone else - esp. someone as beautiful and special as you, NINA- feels this same way. I agree with those who say we need to learn to project confidence (and NOT the f*ck off/not-interested/available vibe) - not saying I know how to do that, just that we need to learn...   For you, a truly Phenomenal Woman, I dedicate this poem to inspire (hopefully us both):       PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size But when I start to tell them They think I'm telling lies. I say It's in the reach of my arms The span of my hips The stride of my steps The curl of my lips. I'm a woman Phenomenally Phenomenal woman That's me. I walk into a room Just as cool as you please And to a man The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees Then they swarm around me A hive of honey bees. I say It's the fire in my eyes And the flash of my teeth The swing of my waist And the joy in my feet. I'm a woman Phenomenally Phenomenal woman That's me. Men themselves have wondered What they see in me They try so much But they can't touch My inner mystery. When I try to show them They say they still can't see. I say It's in the arch of my back The sun of my smile The ride of my breasts The grace of my style. I'm a woman Phenomenally Phenomenal woman That's me. Now you understand Just why my head's not bowed I don't shout or jump about Or have to talk real loud When you see me passing It ought to make you proud. I say It's in the click of my heels The bend of my hair The palm of my hand The need for my care. 'Cause I'm a woman Phenomenally Phenomenal woman That's me.
luvlif

luvlif

1
 

2/18 235 yipee

I'M SO HAPPY! :clap2: :eek: :clap2: :clap2: 235! THATS 12LBS IN A MONTH! ON BSCI.COM'S GRAPH, I'M STEADILY SHEDDING WEIGHT. IT SHOWS IN MY ABS & MY FACE. MY UPPER ABS HAVE A LINE RUNNING THRU IT VERTICALLY, AND MY BELLY IS SMALLER & THE BOTTOM HAS A DEFINITE SCOOP TAKEN OUT OF IT. LAST NITE AS I LAY IN BED I FELT THE BURN IN MY THIGHS SO I KNEW THE NEXT DAY I WOULD WEIGH LESS! NOW I WANT TO BE 230 BY WED I KNOW I CAN DO IT WITH THIS RESTRICTION.THIS A.M. I COULDN'T EAT MORE THAN 1/2 C OF COTTAGE CHEESE... HAD TO PUT 1/4 C AWAY...I FELT RESTRICTED! NOW I'M LEARNING TO EAT LESS...1/2C IS ALL I NEED. YESTERDAY I ATE: B:1/2C COTTAGE CHEESE & TEA L: 4PM 1/2C COTT CHEESE, (TRIED TO EAT EGG WHITES BUT COULDN'T STARTED SLIMING, SO I LEFT IT) D: 9PM 3-4 OZ TURBOT & 3 CRACKERS W EGGPLANT DIDN'T WORKOUT TOO DRAINED NAPPED FROM 6PM-9PM DIDN'T SLEEP WELL @ NITE.
luvlif

luvlif

1
 

HELLO SIZE 8!

Met Pete Spataro last night...he was hitting on me! Couldn't believe how good I looked. This morning I put on my grey & silver pinstriped pants SIZE 8.... they fit but theyr'e short. I DO LOOK HOT...MY GREY LEATHER VEST & BLACK STRETCH SHIRT FITS ME BEAUTIFULLY. My knee hurt last night & this a.m.... Geiss Said NO MOTRIN OR ANY ANTI INLFAMITORY. IT'S BAD FOR THE POUCH...IF I HAVE TO, TO TAKE MAALOX FIRST...I DECIDED I DONT WANT TO RISK HURTING MY POUCH...I'LL TAKE TYLENOL & GRIN & BEAR IT!
luvlif

luvlif

1
 

1/24/06 244LBS GREAT RESTRICTION!

WALK IN A.M.21 MINS & 115 CALS WALKED LAST NIGHT I LIKE WALKING. B.FAST CRACKERS, CHEESE & 1 EGG...105 CALS HAD 1 C TEA LUNCH CHICKN BR- GRILLED, W 2 SLICE CHEESE, = 280 + 105= 385 DINNER: CHILLI = 220 +385 =605 + 6 CRACKERS & SALSA= 70 = 675 THE DAYS ARE GETTING LONGER DIDN'T GET DARK TIL 5.15 P.M.   I HAVE G-R-E-A-T RESTRICTION TO-DAY!!!YIPEE NO HUNGER PANGS WORE MY SIZE 20 STYLE & CO. PANTS FROM MACYS W NO PROBLEM...ZIPPED RIGHT UP!
luvlif

luvlif

1
 

4/5/06 SUPPORT GROUP

:girl_hug: I LOOKED DAMN GOOD!WILLO, DIANE LOSITO, DEE DIGUARDIA, & SHERWINTER & MY MARIA ALL TOLD ME & SO DID ROBIN! WHO IS JEALOUS IS LUCY! SHE WAS SARCASTIC ABOUT MY SPEAKING TO EVERYONE...SHE SAW ME TALKING TO GEISS AS WE WENT UPSTAIRS ... GEISS STARTED SPEAKING TO ME... WE WERE TALKING ABOUT OBESITY IN INDIA, & WORLD WIDE & THE DISCRIMINATION THE OBESE FACE...OFCOURSE IT PISSED HER OFF AS DID THE FACT THAT WILLO GAVE ME THE PAPERS TO GIVE OUT WHEN SHE SAT AT THE END. BOTH DIANE & DEE COULDN'T BELIEVE HOW GOOD I LOOKED. THEN TODAY LUCY MENTIONED HOW MEL DIDN'T LIKE THE OTHER GIRL TALKING....NOW I'M GOING TO CUT HER LOOSE...NO MORE EATING W HER @ THE DINER AFTER SUPPORT GROUP...I'M GOING TO EAT BEFORE & THAT IS IT . SHE IS NOT SERIOUS ABOUT HER OWN WEIGHT LOSS & IS JEALOUS OF MINE...EVEN HOW SHE SPEAKS TO HER DAUGHTER IS BITCHY ...SHE IS VERY ANGRY @ HERSELF & IS NOT DONE MAKING EXCUSES! SHE LOOKS TO BLAME THE DOCTORS OR MAKE EXCUSES FOR NOT LOSING WT...SOMEONE LIKE THAT IS GOING TO PULL ME DOWN TOO! SHE WAS BOTHERED THAT I HAD A FILL ON FRIDAY! I'M GLAD I DIDN'T TELL HER ABOUT WILLO ALTHOUGH SHE PROBABLY SAW US TALKING & SAW WILLO GIVE ME HER CARD...I BET THAT BURNT HER UP TOO.... THAT'S IT!I BET THAT IS WHAT BOTHERED HER MY LOOKING TO BETTER MYSELF! NO MORE. I'LL CUT THE BITCH LOSE & GIVE THE CLOTHES TO GOODWILL...END OF STORY!
luvlif

luvlif

1
 

6/7/06 213lbs

:clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: 213lbs!:clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: goal 210 by 14th... my 6 month anniversary next Wednesday!
luvlif

luvlif

1
 

Being fat is lonely.

Being fat is lonely. It wasn't enough to be publically tormented and laughed at throughout school, but the effects later on are painful. As a kid I was not hurt badly, but enough to add emotional scars. I was always the fat girl friend, the one anyone can talk with and hang out with, but never get close to. My friends never called me fat, but those backhanded comments like, "you'd be so pretty if you were skinny (or not so fat... yeah I got that one)". The laughter when sitting down on chairs, that used to creak and moan under my weight... it just killed me. I hated myself, eversince elementary school. I begged my parents to send me to a fat camp when I was in 3rd grade... they finally did the summer before 5th grade. I cried many times after school, just due to people talking about me behind my back. What? Like I didn't know I was fat?   I'm now 133 pounds lighter... but I still feel like people are staring at me, judging me, laughing at me. The only place I feel comfortable is at the hospital and at the gym. Students are more accepting of me now that I'm skinnier, but I'm still the largest person by far. Going out with them, means me and several girls in size 4 hang out... while they get hit on and I'm lonely in the corner. Some of my friends went out (and to be honest, I have to get up at 5:30 am and I couldn't go)... but the thought of being isolated brought back all my self-loathing feelings. I would have gone, but I would have been uncomfortable... especially since they get all dolled up in cute clothes that look good on them and I'm in frumpy jeans/T-shirt that try to cover up my flaws.   It's lonely in the sense of dating. It just doesn't happen, either because I write F*ck Off on my forehead or that my body is that repulsive (or that I convy my self-loathing without words). The guys that I'm attracted to DO NOT like large girls... I know that based on their previous girlfriends. I would never change myself for another person, but it's a shame that a guy I like isn't attracted to me physically... which you need that in addition to the personality component.   Sorry for the sad post. I just feel isolated, still... even though I do "fit" in society better. My perception still gets in the way of my happiness...   I know others can relate, but I just had to vent or share or whatever.Alyssa, sweetheart I can relate. We all can. No one gets to be as big as we are and does not know how it feels to be tormented and hurt and rejected. People always say, "When you lose weight, you are just a smaller version of the person you are right now, so love yourselve for the person you are right now, big or small." Well, that is true and great advice, but how do you love yourself now, when you never loved yourself...ever???!!! This is how, you step away from yourself and approach this as if you were a friend of yours. Okay? So you are not Alyssa, you are a friend of Alyssa's. What are the things you love about Alyssa? Why is she your friend? What do you think is beautiful about? And so on... Sound corny? Beleive me, it works. I swear. It gets you to focus on something other than what YOU don't like about yourself and start to see what OTHERS do like about you. Now, regarding men, babe they have super sensitive radars to woman with low confidence. Some of them pray on that and are like preditors waiting for an easy mark. Others don't want to get involved because they don't want to hurt you. So, they stear clear. Let me say, some men are just plain intimidated by a tall, curvy Goddess. ( happens all the time to me...lol ) Nothing and I mean NOTHING, not perky big boobs, bootylisious beyonce booty, not legs for miles, is as sexy as a confident woman. So, don't beat yourself up. Take this time to learn yourself all over again. Learn to love yourself, care for yourself and respect yourself. If you do, he will too. If you don't, you will attract every doornob from here to East Jabip!!! Think about some therapy. It can (in a very short time) work miracles. Okay and my last thought....you are never alone. God loves you Alyssa and so do we. WE are here when ever you need. Just reach out....
luvlif

luvlif

1
 

bette blackwell's # and mine

~~~~~~~~~~~~~WEIGHT.....BMI.....POUNDS LOST lost FIRST APPOINTMENT.....376.......54 1st apt 271 wt lbs total DAY OF SURGERY..........350.......50.2....26day of surg 265 7 1 MONTH.....................330.. ....47.3....46 1 month 247 18= 25 2 MONTHS....................323......46.3....53 2 months 235 12= 37 3 MONTHS....................319......45.7....57 3 mar 225 230 4LBS = 41 4 MONTHS....................296......42.4....80 4 apr215 5 MONTHS....................286......41......90 5 may205 6 MONTHS....................276.....39.6....100 6 jun195 7 MONTHS....................266.....38.1....110 7 jul 180lbs 8 MONTHS....................252..........36.1........124 9 MONTHS....................245..........35.1........131 10 MONTHS..................231...........33.1........145 11 MONTHS..................227...........32.5........149 1 YEAR........................223...........30.9........160 18 MONTHS..................174...........24.9.........202 2 YEARS.......................163..........23.5..........213
luvlif

luvlif

1
 

GAME PLAN

10/7/06***194 10/14/06***189 10/21/06***184 10/28/06***180
luvlif

luvlif

1
 

226! 4/3/06

2 week challenge! 6 lbs down by April 17 06! 220lbs by April 17th! 600 cals daily, walk 60 mins daily, drink80 oz water.
luvlif

luvlif

1
 

2/7 LUVLIF

"Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life.   What is it you would let go of today?"   - Mary Manin
luvlif

luvlif

1
 

11/27 I look hot!

my grey houndstooth (small) is very loose on me.... to-day I wore my grey suit...w lace blouse...v sexy .... I guess I changed a lot & it's normal for a man to be jealous & insecure when a woman he loves changes as dramatically as I did in 10 mos, especially when he has issues w insecurity like HE does. The need for constant reassurance has not changed...just worsened. The neediness is worsened too!:omg:
luvlif

luvlif

1
 

2/15 240 1ST PB! UGH!

1ST PB! 4X IN A MATTER OF AN HOUR! RESTRICTION IS HERE!:faint: NO MORE CHINESE BUFFET FOR ME...I MEAN IT I JUST CANNOT.   FROM GEISS' MESSAGE BOARD: SOME SUCCEED BECAUSE THEY ARE DESTINED TO MOST SUCCEED BECAUSE THEY ARE DETERMINED TO :eek:   THOSE WHO WANT TO SUCCEED WILL FIND A WAY THOSE WHO DON'T WILL FIND AN EXCUSE.   ONCE YOU DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT, YOU MAKE A COMMITMENT TO THAT DECISION I ATE 500 CALS IN THE WHOLE DAY   WALKED 40 MINS IN AM & 30 IN PM, 2 MILES TOTAL. BURNED 400 CALS. I WAS RESTRICTED!
luvlif

luvlif

1
 

bette blackwell

Bette Blackwell when someone told her she could never have been fat. My first thought was, "Why on earth would anyone CLAIM to be that pretty unhappy, unhealthy, severely obese person if they weren't?" Then I realized that hey - when I look at some of the most recent photos, sometimes *I* don't recognize the "new me" as me.   I told the group that there I times when I FORGET that I'm not in the body of the person I was in almost 2 years ago. That I was standing in line waiting for a stall in the ladies' room last week, looked in the mirror and thought, "WHOA! That's ME!" That I honestly forget sometimes, when I'm not looking in the mirror, that the fat lady, on the outside, anyway, is gone. There's this still-strange-to-me skinny lady, with new-found cheekbones, collarbones and shoulder blades, and thin, almost dainty wrists, living here now.   It's not easy, though. The fat girl still lives here, and she fights with the skinny girl every day. She wants to eat when she's bored, tired, angry, lonely, sad, happy . . . hell, even horny sometimes. I've said it before and I'll say it again: this isn't easy. It's a constant battle between the two of them. Most days, skinny girl wins, but not always. Those moments of defeat are the moments when I find myself looking into my reflection in the water in the loo once again. The flesh may be weak, but the spirit is always unbroken, and I'll get back up and fight again.   Jeez. This is getting far too deep and philosophical for me. It's time for a long bubble bath and then, bedtime.
luvlif

luvlif

1
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0

PatchAid Vitamin Patches

Bariatric Forums

For Patients

Health Professionals

Search Surgeons

Bariatric Surgeons: Want to research a weight loss surgery surgeon? Enter their last name below to start!

×