Can I get pregnant after eating chicken strips three days out from surgery while listening to Michael Jackson music? Inquiring minds want to know.

Okay, now this is true...and very sad... honestly...

I have to go to a wedding reception tomorrow. It's a family thang. Yuck. I'm only going 'cause there's gonna be cake. Oh, how pathetic. I hope it's chocolate or I may kill myself. Great, just remembered the bride is vegan. WTH is up with that??? Oh, crap on a cracker. Please, find a clip art gun somewhere and shoot me now! Maybe I'll find a rabid chipmunk in the yard. Argggh.

VEGAN?? Like total no-eggs-or-cheese type?

Shit, girl, that's gonna be a tofu cake.

You should be able to do that if you have the following:

1. Blender

2. Immersion Blender

3. Mini-chopper

Great, I only have a Magic Bullet. Now my friend told me that you could mush stuff up but to only eat them the first 3 days after surgery. Then switch to beef jerky and that you could make it from ground up donkey meat. But you had to use the Bullet. Is this true?

Thanks. I don't have a blender. would my boat motor do alright/

Didn't you get the list of things that you have to have when you get the band???? Better run out and buy a blender pronto!

Did you forget Bruce left me for that fireman?[/quote

1 - no I did not forget - do not ever, ever speak against me again - the world revolves around me and I am always right.

2 - Bruce doesn't count - he was already sleeping with 6 other people your last year together so he doesn't count as a boyfriend

3 - I feel slightly bad that you had to find out this way but you brought it on yourself

4 - and yes your suspicions were correct before the mailman - he was with ppm - get yourself checked

No he was down on the corner of 4th and Main in that pop up revival tent. he had an assistant who was really weird. She kept preaching hells fire and brimstone the whole time.

Holy cow, was her name Patty? Patty GREEN??

VEGAN?? Like total no-eggs-or-cheese type?

Shit, girl, that's gonna be a tofu cake.

Yep, that's what I'ma thinkin'. Dear Lord, can I be related to these freaks???

Didn't you get the list of things that you have to have when you get the band???? Better run out and buy a blender pronto!

Uh? I wasn't told I needed anything after banding other than a Whoper on the way home.

Great, I only have a Magic Bullet. Now my friend told me that you could mush stuff up but to only eat them the first 3 days after surgery. Then switch to beef jerky and that you could make it from ground up donkey meat. But you had to use the Bullet. Is this true?

I always thought the band was the "magic bullet"! Ya know, you get the the band and the weight just magically disapears when you hit the sweet spot. What's the sweet spot? Has anybody else heard of the sweet spot?

oh, yeah, if you soak the jerky in pickle juice you could easily eat it on day 2!

Uh? I wasn't told I needed anything after banding other than a Whoper on the way home.

And Donkey Chow. Those little buggers get real nasty when they're hungry.

I think that was her name. She knows God personally. She told me so.

Sorry about the Box. You might be able to get a loan from the feds for a new house. I hear they give them to almost anybody!

Well the thought was that once Obama took over, we wouldn't have to pay our mortgages or for gas. I'm still waiting for that to happen. >sigh<

Probably best you aren't in the circus. I would get way more attention than you anyway, with my incredible melting body.:confused:

Yeah, I hear you're quite the attraction. Have a wick coming out of your head and everything.

Uh? I wasn't told I needed anything after banding other than a Whoper on the way home.

Make sure you get it with Large fry and a Large DIET Coke!:confused:

I always thought the band was the "magic bullet"! Ya know, you get the the band and the weight just magically disapears when you hit the sweet spot. What's the sweet spot? Has anybody else heard of the sweet spot?

Sweet spot??? That sure as hell won't be in front of the freaking vegan tofu cake. There's nothing sweet about that :confused:.

Sure, 'long as it's liquid, you're golden. Can you say Slidder? I drank a dozen just this morning. Went down fine. My surgeon said it was okay. Well, he might if I call him. Should I call him?

Not if you think he'll say no.