So what should I be ready for???

Will her head start to spin? should I pad the walls? Move all sharp objects incase she wants to throw things?

Of course I am joking...but what kinda of things should I expect to see the first 20 days post surgery? I have heard give her space, which im fine with cause im a video game junkie...lol.

Will she be sleeping a lot due to the lack of food? Is there anything thing as for meds that I should have on hand? Should I not eat in front of her? Should I make sure there are no sweets or sodas in the house? I mean I know and she knows that she will NOT be able to have them but its an out of sight out of mind thing?

I know this may sound like stupid questions but you just never know.

Figure who better to ask then you fine people...well if you have ANY information please feel free to let me know.

Anyways,

Have a good one...

Erick (Enote)

Aw, you're so cute/sweet, lol.

Can't answer any of your questions, though, since I haven't had the surgery yet. Hope the surgery goes well for the wife! :thumbup:

I'm glad you are concerned for your wife and that you want to help her because she will need your support. However, as you know everyone is different and has a completely different experience. The band is not a one size fits all thing. What I can't eat, the next person has no problem with and so on. So, I can only tell you what my experience was/is. You'll have to just see how it goes with your wife.

I will tell you that pre-op I was a crazy woman. I had huge mood swings. I had to do a two week pre-op diet and it messed with my system big time. Also I was anxious and scared. Fat cells also store extra hormones, so when I started dropping weight, those were released. Not only mood swings, but migraine headaches. Don't let this scare you though, it's only temporary and totally worth it!

As for having food in the house. I didn't want those things. Post-op I followed my doc's instructions to the T. It's safer that way and it decreases the chances for complications. Also I had my mind in the game, so to speak, and was ready to give those things up. It took me a year to decide to have the band and during that time I came to grips with the fact that I could never have soda and certain foods. I was okay with that. It doesn't bother me for others to have them in front of me. I wasn't going to deprive my family of certain treats that they wanted. But that's just me. I did however replace a lot of that stuff with healthiery choices because it's good for them too. My hubby drinks diet soda all the time, it doesn't bother me. I don't miss it and only occassionally crave it. Haven't had any soda since March 08.

After she's been banded for a while and heals, she will be able to start experimenting with foods to see what works for her and what doesn't. There are some days I can eat bread and other days I can't, but because I don't know what kind of day it is until I try it, I usually just skip bread and bready foods altogether. I love salty Snacks so I do have to keep those to a minimum in the house or I will eat them. They go down with no problem. I can usually say no to them unless it's one of those days and then....:thumbup: but I deal with it and move on.

For me, the worst thing my hubby could do is say something like "are you supposed to be eating that?" or anything similar (not that he would anyway). I know what I need to be doing and if I'm not then that's my fault not his.

I would just say stay super supportive. That's the most important thing. If she tells you she's not strong enough to have those snacks in the house yet, try to accommodate her. If she tells you she doesn't want to go to your favorite restaurant because there's nothing she can order, try to understand. Eventually she'll get really good at dealing with the band and social engagements. It's a learning experience for everyone in the family. Just love her and tell her how great she is doing. Oh, and when she starts losing, don't forget to tell her how great she looks. It'll motivate her to stay on track or at least it does for me.

Sorry if I've rambled on too much. Good luck to the both of you!!

That was helpful!!! Thank you very much!

What a caring husband you are, to come in here to prepare YOURSELF for your wife's surgery and post-op! Her life is going to change, and yours along with it. But it's a wonderful change, and one that will be easier for her with your loving support.

Misty

So what should I be ready for???

Will her head start to spin? should I pad the walls? Move all sharp objects incase she wants to throw things? One never knows!:thumbup:

Of course I am joking...but what kinda of things should I expect to see the first 20 days post surgery? I have heard give her space, which im fine with cause im a video game junkie...lol. Encourage her to join us here on LapBandTalk. It can really be a life-saver to be able to talk to others who have already been through the surgery. If you look further down the forums you'll see a Support Group section by year and month of surgery. She can join in discussions specifically with people who are at the same stage of the journey as she is.

Will she be sleeping a lot due to the lack of food? Not neccesarily, although (depending on her post-op diet)she may very well be weak and shaky. Let her see that you are self-sufficient while she is healing so she doesn't feel she has to do things that are too strenuous during the first few weeks. Is there anything thing as for meds that I should have on hand? She will probably be sent home with some pain meds. We are not supposed to take NSAIDS, so having Tylenol on hand is a good idea. GasX strips can be helpful for the abdominal gas from the surgery. My doctor also recommended Milk of Magnesia in case of constipation from the pain meds. Should I not eat in front of her? That would certainly be the compassionate thing to do, especially at the beginning while she is on liquids. Later on, let her tell you what she is comfortable with. Just be aware of signals she sends out. She may say she's ok with you eating in front of her, but you'll be able to see if it's bothering her. Eventually she will have to re-enter the "regular" world, with people eating all around her, but by then she will have, hopefully, made some strides towards changing her mindset on food. Should I make sure there are no sweets or sodas in the house? I mean I know and she knows that she will NOT be able to have them but its an out of sight out of mind thing? Again, that would be the compassionate, helpful thing to do. Regardless of your weight condition, do either of you REALLY need sweets or sodas in the house? And yes, out of sight often does translate to out of mind. For me, if I want something, I'd prefer to have to go out of the house to get a single serving of it, rather than have it sitting in the house, easily available. It may cost more, but it's worth it to me.

I know this may sound like stupid questions but you just never know. Not stupid at all! Very thoughtful and wise.

Figure who better to ask then you fine people...well if you have ANY information please feel free to let me know.

Anyways,

Have a good one...

Erick (Enote)

Thank you for the insight Misty!

E

Something I found helpful, was having tylenol pm. Liquid form is easier. It helped me sleep when I was uncomfortable. And just being really supportive helps. My moods swings were pretty bad especially around that time of the month. My poor DH almost got his head snapped off a few times. Just keep in mind that most of the mood stuff is hormones, and that it will taper off and go away eventually

A few suggestions. .

Definitely give her back rubs post-op -- she will have some shoulder pain!

Tell her every time you notice that she looks good.

It would be helpful not to have the wrong foods in the house, but you have to be able to live as well! Still, this may be a good opportunity for you to get even healthier!

Don't criticize her food choices -- or encourage her to "just have a bite" of foods that she shouldn't have.

And, be sure to let her know how proud of her you are, even though you love her at any weight.

I hope that helps!

Catherine

Also, this book was really great -- and it has a section for spouses at the end. I would encourage you and your wife to read it. It was the best of the 3 books I bought before I had my surgery.

Amazon.com: Weight Loss Surgery with the Adjustable Gastric Band: Everything You Need to Know Before and After Surgery to Lose Weight Successfully: Robert Sewell M.D., Linda Rohrbough: Books

Immediately after surgery -- Have a heating pad on hand....the gas pains related to the gas they pump into your abdomen can be wicked. Encourge her to move around, too. Moving around will make the gas pains go away a lot faster than sitting around. The doc will likely give her a prescription for pain (in a liquid form) and have that filled before she has the surgery. Also have liquid Children's Tylenol. I never needed any pain meds at all, but it's best to be prepared. Gas-X comes in dissolvable strips and that helps with gas in the digestive tract.

Have yummy treats on hand (maybe surprise ones, at that). After a couple of days, she'll want some variety. I didn't drink that broth that comes in cans and boxes. I made stock from scratch and you can too: Put chicken pieces or a whole chicken (or a pot roast) in a large pot and cover with water. Add a little salt, pepper, garlic powder, a bay leaf, chunks of carrots and celery, and quarter an onion (you don't even have to peel the onion). Simmer until done. Strain off all the solid stuff and store the broths. They will have great flavor and seem more like food than the canned stuff. French onion soup (minus the melted cheese and croutons of course).

Juices. Sugar free popsicles. Sugar free jello. Crystal Light mix in a couple of flavors.

Man it would be awesome if there were more threads like this! Its so wonderful you are here looking for ways to support your wife. I haven't read every post but I'm sure the basics have been covered here is one that was and is very important to me.

Don't pressure/watch her. Band results are not as drastic initially as something like a bypass. Support her and love her even when she messes up. Don't judge or watch every bite she puts in her mouth. Positive reinforcement is much better than negative!! Support it if the diet of the house changes. Walk/exercise with her if you can.

That is my 2 cents :thumbup:

man you all are som great people! These are a LOT of great ideas and stuff I would have never of thought about.

Back rubbs, I know she will love that! LOL

But I will make sure I take this all in and use it!

Erick

I haven't had my surgery yet but shoot as soon as my husband gets off work I am going to have him get on here and read this stuff. Thanks so much for posting this... Jennifer

I'm glad you are concerned for your wife and that you want to help her because she will need your support. However, as you know everyone is different and has a completely different experience. The band is not a one size fits all thing. What I can't eat, the next person has no problem with and so on. So, I can only tell you what my experience was/is. You'll have to just see how it goes with your wife.

I will tell you that pre-op I was a crazy woman. I had huge mood swings. I had to do a two week pre-op diet and it messed with my system big time. Also I was anxious and scared. Fat cells also store extra hormones, so when I started dropping weight, those were released. Not only mood swings, but migraine headaches. Don't let this scare you though, it's only temporary and totally worth it!

As for having food in the house. I didn't want those things. Post-op I followed my doc's instructions to the T. It's safer that way and it decreases the chances for complications. Also I had my mind in the game, so to speak, and was ready to give those things up. It took me a year to decide to have the band and during that time I came to grips with the fact that I could never have soda and certain foods. I was okay with that. It doesn't bother me for others to have them in front of me. I wasn't going to deprive my family of certain treats that they wanted. But that's just me. I did however replace a lot of that stuff with healthiery choices because it's good for them too. My hubby drinks diet soda all the time, it doesn't bother me. I don't miss it and only occassionally crave it. Haven't had any soda since March 08.

After she's been banded for a while and heals, she will be able to start experimenting with foods to see what works for her and what doesn't. There are some days I can eat bread and other days I can't, but because I don't know what kind of day it is until I try it, I usually just skip bread and bready foods altogether. I love salty Snacks so I do have to keep those to a minimum in the house or I will eat them. They go down with no problem. I can usually say no to them unless it's one of those days and then.... but I deal with it and move on.

For me, the worst thing my hubby could do is say something like "are you supposed to be eating that?" or anything similar (not that he would anyway). I know what I need to be doing and if I'm not then that's my fault not his.

I would just say stay super supportive. That's the most important thing. If she tells you she's not strong enough to have those snacks in the house yet, try to accommodate her. If she tells you she doesn't want to go to your favorite restaurant because there's nothing she can order, try to understand. Eventually she'll get really good at dealing with the band and social engagements. It's a learning experience for everyone in the family. Just love her and tell her how great she is doing. Oh, and when she starts losing, don't forget to tell her how great she looks. It'll motivate her to stay on track or at least it does for me.

Sorry if I've rambled on too much. Good luck to the both of you!!

This is "the wife"..THANK YOU for that! That was sweet and so kind if you to take the time to type all that! (i am a huge rambler! so no worries!)

I am VERYY lucky to have him and couldnt do this w/o him!

Agnes, with that kind of support from your husband paired with your own determination and the good head on your shoulders, you are going to be one of the successful Bandsters! I'm sure of it.

wow what a great thread to start, I wish there was one like this before my surgery

1. Heating pad is a must must must...keep in mind it's going to be hard for her to bend at the waist to "plug" things in so when it's time to move from the couch to the bed remember to help her move her things with her.

2. Gas X melt strips...I couldn't stomach the thought of swallowing anything other then a FEW sips of Water let alone anything that tasted NASTY. the strips are great because she can tear small pieces at a time and they do in fact melt away.

3. check with the surgeon before hand if they are going to be providing liquid pain meds...mine did liquid lortab. My hubby filled my pains while I was in recovery so all we had to do was go home.

4. lots of pillows - I was able to sleep in my bed with 4 pillows so I was pretty upright...who doesn't want to sleep in there own bed.

5. support getting up and sitting down..we use a lot of our stomach muscles to do this and it's hard to get up and down..I am 8 days post op and I still have a hard time.

6. walk with her...help her get up and try to encourage her to walk every hour or so even if it's just for a couple of minutes...this will help with the gas pains and prevent blood clots from forming.

7. don't dare mention the word sex lol...she will let you know when she is ready :wink: I told my hubby today I think I may need just a couple of more days...it hurts when my belly jiggles.

8. my hubby and son didn't eat in front of me but honestly it really didn't bother me...I had no appetite at all anyway!

Day 1, 2, & 3 I was totally out of it and slept most of the day mainly because I took my pain meds every 5 hrs :tt1: Day 5 I was back to work BUT...even though she may head back to work that doesn't me she can come home and do laundry, cook, and clean...that part is going to take a couple of weeks sooo...just be as supportive as you can during that time...it already appears as though you are anyway!!! Your both going to do great!!! And you know everyone here is available for any questions you may have