It seems like EVERY TIME I diet someone has opinions about the way I'm doing things, it's so annoying! I really want to keep this one to myself and find it hard not saying anything to anyone. I keep telling myself that once its out then everyone will know and keep an eye on me. If there is any issues then I'm sure I will hear it.

How do you guys not tell people without lying? Ive told two of my closest friends and they aren't really support since they are fat too and are jealous/think its too drastic

My surgery is Monday. My closest friends know, the people at work who have to know, and that's it. Well my immediate family. I have NOT told my parents because my mother will be disappointed in me.

I attended a support group meeting last week and people's comments about "Taking the easy way out" was one topic of conversation. It made me so angry that I wrote a letter to Dear Abby and explained how this is SO NOT easy and asked her to let her readers know. So, let's see if she prints it and does us all a HUGE favor.

When I first started with the process - I told a lot of people and now kicking myself in the ass for that. Some people (especially the ones who are closed minded) do NOT need to know. If they ask me how its going - I just brush it off and say "i decided to hold off on it". My closest friends who truelly know me and my struggle with the weight know. My wonderful supportive family knows. My ex-husband...definetly doesnt know. I will tell my manager once I get the approval and the surgery date. Thats pretty much it ...oh yeah!!! and this entire forum knows :mad:

When people learn that I am having surgery I just tell them that I am having a sex change procedure. Ha!:thumbup:

4 people know about my upcoming surgery ..

My husband and daughter , and my 2 best friends .. Anybody else asks why I am going to the hospital, I just tell them its a female thing .. that makes the men back off and the women just shake their head and say -- I'm sorry..

I just tell them its a female thing .. that makes the men back off and the women just shake their head and say -- I'm sorry..

I did the exact same thing and it works! :thumbup:

I am not telling anyone EXCEPT for my husband (he's getting a band too...we have the same surgery date) and My Mom and Dad and my husbands Mom and Dad. THATS IT! One thing that I have found out allong my lifes journey is that I tell too many people too much stuff about me. This time it's all in the family.

I have told very few people. 1 Friend at work, who is having sg too but telling everyone it is female issues, and a couple of non work friends then my brother. The thing is that each time I eat around someone that knows it reinforces why I did not tell everyone. Was at a party last weekend, there was some Snacks, some corn chips and salsa, cheese dip, that sort of thing, I took 1 corn chip with salsa and ate that, only 1 and my brother says can you eat that?

We went camping with a friend who knows and she either always comments about how little I eat or that she is impressed that I was able to eat more than the last time she saw me eat... I dont need food police, this is hard enough without all that and frankly it is no ones business.

Edited September 9, 200917 yr by OnTheWay to Thin
typo

Heck, I told EVERYBODY. Strangers, even, LOL. I must live in rarified air because I have not heard even one vaguely negataive comment from anyone. I've gotten a lot of curious questions. But if anybody ever says you're cheating consider telling them this:

If I had a heart condition and a mechanical device or a valve transplant would help my heart keep working you wouldn't say I cheated. If I lost a leg and wore a prosthetic, you wouldn't say I cheated. How can doing something that HELPS me to not suffer be cheating? Remember that I still have the responsibility for what goes into my mouth .... bad choices or good ones. I still have to decide whether or not to get out of the bed at 5:00 AM to walk/run/skip 4 miles before I get ready for work. Explain to me how that is cheating.

I am only telling family. And 1 very close friend, who I consider family. Like others I have failed sooooo many times with weight loss, and comments are always made. So I will get it done (hopefully..Financial issue no INS coverage for Band) and surprise them all.

I am not telling anyone EXCEPT for my husband (he's getting a band too...we have the same surgery date)

Have you considered separate surgery dates so you can help each other? My wife and I were a couple of month's apart and we were able to help each other out quite a bit. I can picture the two of you wanting something and neither being very able to get up and get it.

Explain to me how that is cheating.

Your preaching to the choir, unfortunately there are a lot of ignorant people out there, and many of us choose not to have to interact wtih them.

My Mom kept her surgery a secret from everyone except me. Even my Dad didn't know until two weeks prior to the surgery itself!

My Mom didn't tell anyone because she didn't want to deal with the judgmental and ignorant remarks she might have gotten from people. There are always a few negative individuals and she didn't want that on top of the stress from the upcoming surgery.

So, she waited and announced it a couple of says after the surgery.

I am in the process of getting the lap-band and only my DH knows. Actually, I am not telling many people about it even after I have it done unless they ask about my weight loss.

This is a somewhat person surgery for me.

I am scheduled for my band on September 14th. I wasn't going to say much to anyone originally, but I told my mom, siblings, close friends and a handful of coworkers. My manager knows only because I'll have a lifting restriction (I am a nurse). Apparently my mom has spread the word to some other family members, I don't appreciate it, but I really don't care about their opinions either. I don't want to be percieved as a liar, but I don't want to be judged either. When it comes down to it, you are the one that has to live with your decision, either way. Good luck to all!:w00t:

I've only told my husband, my parents, my sister and my best friend who is like family. I just don't feel like watching everyone "watch" me after I get the surgery. Even though you tell people 1-2 pounds a week, I still feel like they will expect bypass results. I just want to focus on me, feeling good and getting my routine and health in order without worrying about what others may be thinking. I have a friend who told everyone and she said people are ALWAYS asking "so how much have you lost so far?"

I am keeping my band a secret from most people around me and after reading this thread from start to finish I am sure it is the right decision for me.

I am a health professional and am also self-paying as this is not an NHS option in the UK unless one has a really high BMI etc. My BMI was only 37 and was going up but I thought-why wait? My feet hurt now, my self-esteem is going down as I get fatter, I am snoring worse now ...

The only people that know are close family and three people at work that needed to know and they were very supportive.

Being in a position where I sometimes give advice about weight-loss there could be issues about this - but what the hell, it is my life and I think I am entitled to some privacy.

This thread has been brilliant. One bit that really struck home was a post from earlier on about the idea that we are cheating from Cathy in Georgia. She said

"But if anybody ever says you're cheating consider telling them this:

If I had a heart condition and a mechanical device or a valve transplant would help my heart keep working you wouldn't say I cheated. If I lost a leg and wore a prosthetic, you wouldn't say I cheated. How can doing something that HELPS me to not suffer be cheating? Remember that I still have the responsibility for what goes into my mouth .... bad choices or good ones. I still have to decide whether or not to get out of the bed at 5:00 AM to walk/run/skip 4 miles before I get ready for work. Explain to me how that is cheating. "

This has been a brilliant thread with lots of food for thought.