My father died of metastatic lung cancer last Thursday and we burried him yesterday. I am so hurt right now. I just got banded in November and now I feel so selfish. Why should I care about myself? My dad just died. This is not making sense but it's how I feel. Man, I'm so hurt right now.

I am so sorry to hear that you've lost your dad. I seen another post from you, and this seems like it went very quickly. Do not expect too much of yourself for now. Just getting through the day is going to be enough of a challenge.

Give it some time, after the holidays are past and try to refocus on your lapband journey then. You have been and are still going through an exhausting event now. It's normal to not care right now, it will get better slowly each day.

Prayers and hugs for you and your family.

So sorry to hear about your Father, I know what you are going through. My Mom has been gone for quite some time now and it still seems like yesterday. It never goes away and (the dreaded phrase time will heal) really does work, it eases your pain a little at a time so you can eventually start to recompose your life. We are all hear for you, hang in there.

Debbie

You hang in there. Allow yourself time to greive. Don't make any decisions right now - not even which Cereal to buy.

I wasn't hurt at all by my father's passing in 2001 but my mother's just 2 months ago has debilitated me in so many ways.

Just allow yourself time to do nothing and cry all you want.

So sorry about your dad. I know what your going thru. Time does help. I lost my pop 1 1/2 yrs ago. I still have some bad days, but I do better. I know when my mom passed it took me almost 3 yrs not to think about her most days. Everyone greives at a different pace. Just don't worry about anything right now. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Praying that you can find peace through this difficult time. Don't expect too much of yourself. Take the time you need to grieve. God Bless you and your family.

Just Tired

I am so sorry for your incredible loss. Allow yourself to grieve as only this will help you heal. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs Sweetie... I am so very sorry for your loss - I know how incrediably sad you are right now.

I know your pain - I lost my Daddy 16 yrs ago

I want you to know that you aren't being selfish cuz you got banded - the 2 things have nothing to do with each other - how are you being selfish - your Dad would want you healthy he wouldn't want his baby girl to die from a heart attack or cancer cuz she was obese.. I know that he would want you to live your life to the very best of your ability - He would want you happy and healthy..

Time does help - you will never forget your Dad - and even 16 yrs later I still cry cuz I miss him - but I know that he would be so happy for me for having gotten healthy... and I bet your Dad felt the same way..

Hugs... Janet

I am so very sorry for the loss of your father. It is always and ever too soon.

Be tender with yourself. I know its hard, but try to make healthy choices when you do feel like eating. Dont' evaluate the fair or not fairness of your decision to be banded right now...just put one foot in front of the other. Stay hydrated. And know that many people feel your pain. I lost my father and my oldest child within 3 years of one another. There is nothing I can say to ease your sorrow. But know that I see it and hurt for you. May you find moments of peace.

Thanks to everyone for your kind words of encouragement. My father would've wanted to see me healthy and I will push on. I just miss him so dearly, I am so blessed to have found this forum as it really gives me the strength to keep on truckin' Thanks again.

Rania -

I am so sorry to hear about your father. My mother passed away last Wednesday. I don't know about you, but now that I've returned home to work and to "normal" life, there's just a huge emptiness, especially when I realize that "normal" has now been complete redefined. My mother's passing was fairly quick, in the hospital on Monday and gone early Wednesday.

Prior to that I was so focused and obsessed with my lapband process. Now this week I'm in the midst of 4 appointments for it and I find myself overwhelmed and to be honest it is hard to have that same level of enthusiasm I had before. I know I want the surgery, but my head and heart are just in a different place right now. I have to push forward, my mom would want that, and I know that when I finally get past all the hurdles and am approved for surgery I will be back to where I was emotionally and mentally and be ready to move forward.

My sincerest sympathies to you.

I understand how you feel. I was banded at the end of January and my mother passed away about 5 weeks later from complications from heart disease and diabetes (brought on by obesity).

I felt so lost at that time and banding kind of seemed like a joke. How important is weight loss when my world just came crashing down??? I was in shock for the first week, in deep mourning the next week . . . and gradually, unbelievably, life started picking up again.

I got my first fill 2 weeks after she passed and it just set me up with renewed resolve to get this weight off. Obesity had everything to do with her death at only 51 years old. I felt like I owe it to my mother to do everything possible to be healthy and live a fulfilling life without allowing obesity to overcome me.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Banding can take a back seat for a couple of weeks while you focus on you and feeling better. I am sorry for your loss.