I thought this might offer some insight to how we all became overweight in the first place and will hopefully be sort of cathartic to tell our story.

Here's a synopsis of mine: I was "normal" weight (118 lbs) my whole life till I entered into a 5 year mentally abusive relationship when I was 30, I am now 47. I say it was mentally abusive because he always wanted me to be thinner, monitored my food and constantly compared me to other women that were smaller than me. I began dropping weight till I was hovering around 100 lbs and people were constantly asking me if I was sick. Granted, I was a mental wreck at that time and had major counseling over why I would let someone treat me that way. Over the next 12 years, I set about eating what I damn well pleased to pay that a**hole back for the torture he put me thru. Showed him, didn't I....LOL!! I am now happily married to an extremely kind and good man who has loved me thru thick and thin, or more precisely thru thin and thick. He never uttered a word about the fact that I went from overweight to obese to morbidly obese in the 11 years that we have been married. It was 100% my choice to take control of my life back and get the lapband and he has been wonderfully supportive...even in that first couple of weeks after surgery when I was cranky and hungry ALL the time. It has five weeks since my surgery and I feel better, mentally and physically than I have in a very long time. Best of luck to everyone on their weight loss journey.

I was a bored eater. My hubby would play his games online and I would sit around watching tv all the time and go into the kitchen every 30 minutes to munch on stuff cuz I was bored. Now that I've lost some weight I'm more active.. I have two new hobbies that keeps me busy and food just doesn't seem to be my mine focus anymore.

Crystal:thumbup:

Here's mine: When I was 9 my mom was raped and left for dead. She then decided she no longer wanted to live. She was in a mental hospital for a few months. Then when I was 13 I was raped and beaten by a family friend. After that I was in abusive relationships from 15-18. I was sent to a mental hospital more than once for self mutilation. I hated my body and figured that the physical pain of cutting was better than the emotional pain I felt everyday. After a stay in the mental hospital (I think my second one) I was done self mutilating, but unfortunately found a new best friend, a new drug, food. Food never hit me, never yelled at me, was always there for me. Food never judged me...Food became my escape from my pain. The I got pregnant. I had really high blood pressure during my pregnancy and ended up going into labor at 32 weeks. I was bleeding and in pain. They rushed me to the hospital. My placenta had abrupted and my uterus had torn, but worst of all, my son had no heart beat. They got him out via emergency c-section. They gave him an hour to live once they had revived him. He was born 2 pounds 4 ounces, 15 inches long. He lived and was in the NICU and the PICU for over 6 months. He is missing muscles, has Arnold Chiari (brain malformation), he cannot swallow and he is developmentally behind. Two weeks after he was born my husband was deployed to Iraq for 15 months. I again turned to food, this time more than ever. I ballooned. This had to stop. I was fat because of me...I chose to eat to comfort myself...After my husband got home I went to a seminar. About 2-3 weeks later I had my surgery. about 3-4 days after my surgery I started having very bad abdominal pain...now I have 5 ovarian cysts. For now I can't even workout because the pain is so bad, but as soon as I feel better it's on...I'm not failing this time around!!! Oh yeah...I'm only 22. Soon I know things will get better, but until then I will be my new friend... :thumbup:

Losing,

I think you have started what will be a very interesting thread for many of us. I will be following it for a long time to come.

I have been overweight my whole life. Even from infancy, I was always big for my age and height. From about the age of 10, the pounds started to really add up. By the time I was 20, I was morbidly obese. I did all the diets. Failed every one of them miserably after good starts.

Why am I overweight? I have no idea. If I could have found the answer to that question years ago, I may not have needed to be banded. The answer still eludes me. I will still try to find the answer to that question, but will not let the search or answer change my path.

Getting banded was the best thing I could have done for my health and happiness. I am always smiling now. Any pictures that are taken of me show me glowing - not at all like any of my pictures taken over the last 40 years! I hope everyone who gets banded can lose their weight and become as happy as I am now and as happy as I will be at my goal!

Wow....lots of good responses here. Though our stories may diifer in some respects....and some may be worse than others, hopefully it won't be too painful to tell your story. I think we have all been very hard on ourselves in varying degrees and beginning our weight loss journey together is the beginning of the healing phase for ALL OF US!!

Big hugs and high fives to us all!!!!!!!!!

I started gaining weight in my early teens. I idolized my brother, who was 18 months older than me, and when he hit male puberty, nobody bothered to tell me that I didn't need to keep up with him in my attempts to emulate him. I remember eating until I thought I would throw up, simply trying to eat as much as my brother did. I would pop Tums stolen from my father's vanity from a fairly early age in attempts to relieve the over-stuffed feeling.

This all lead to a weight gain of course, though I was still in "normal" range at the very upper end (135-140 pounds, 5'3) Weight has always been a huge focus in my family. Being fat was unforgivable. As the only girl in the house other than my mother, what I ate and when I ate was carefully monitored. Separate food was purchased for me by my mother than for the rest of my family and the "good stuff" was hidden in various places and the amount of it carefully noted. I felt singled out and humiliated. My weight was a family conversation. My father would pinch my butt, criticize the way I dressed, wore my hair, wore my make up and criticized how much I weighed. It became my mission in life to find the good food and get my share of it. To this day, the minute I am alone in the house my first urge is to start searching for the "good stuff" (chips, Little Debbies, things like that) and then to gorge on them before anyone comes home. If I got caught doing this I was forced to confess it in front of my brothers. None of us could get up from the kitchen table until I admitted I ate the Fritos. This sent me spiraling more and more out of control and binging when alone became a way of life, along with attempts to then cover up my behavior.

I stayed a pretty much high end of normal weight until I got married. At that time, I then just cut loose. Finally nobody was monitoring me anymore and I started to eat like a mad woman, everything I wanted, any time I wanted. I continued to eat when I was only one home as well. I gained 65 pounds with my first pregnancy and never lost it. I gained another 50 with my third pregnancy. My highest weight was over 280. I stopped weighing at 274. I weighed 135 on my wedding day and thought I was fat.

I have lost successfully on my own and kept it off, but would like this tool to help me get the rest of the way. I will be seeing a counselor to help me deal with my deep seated food issues.

I was fat because I was hungry. All the time. No food addiction or psychological reason except for I was never satisfied. And now I am. My whole perspective on life has changed because I am not thinking about my hunger 24/7.

My dad made fun of me for being overweight when I was a teen and being the rebel that I am I didn't listen and ate more cause it pissed him off. Unfortunately, old habits are to break. Also, I'm a bored eater as well.

I will admit it:

I like to eat.

I eat when I am busy, I eat when I am bored.

I eat sushi when I've money, I eat burgers when I'm poor.

I eat when I am happy in celebration of life,

In the times I am sad, I grab the fork and knife.

When with my friends, I eat to Celebrate.

When lonely, I find comfort in a dinner plate.

Yes, I eat my daily meals, any time of night or day,

So with all of this, there's only one thing left to say:

I like to eat.

OK, sorry for the poetry, (I'll admit, poetry written off the cuff is usually pretty bad).

But that's me. I can't blame fast food restuarants, or buffets, or loving high fat foods, or genetics (though there are a lot of weight problems in my family) any thing that people sometimes claim when they don't want to admit their own guilt... It is just that I am a big eater: The band has helped some, and Thursday when I have my next fill it will hopefully help more.

But for now, it is just I like eating.

I like this thread.

I came from one of those families where you didn't waste, you put it on your plate, you cleaned your plate. Of course, we were a meat and taters househould. Most of the women on my side of the family were large women, we like to cook and we liked to eat. When we get together, there is always food, more than we need. I had an unhappy childhood and also turned to food when I was lonely, depressed, happy, hungry or oooohhhh that looks good! I was always bigger than most girls I went to school with but not obese. Then I got pregnant, gained way too much because I was pregnant and could eat whatever I wanted, right...if I knew then what I know now. I gained 60 pounds and I lost 20 pounds when I had my daughter and never lost any more. I dieted and my weight was up and down after that, but food always won in the end.

Wow......i have been asking myself that for years. I started to gain weight in my teens.....like 15ish. At about 12/13 when i started to develop (D cup in grade 7 ) my Dad started to call me fat and lazy. I wish i was that "FAT" now! I have a 26 inch waist!!!! This went on for my whole teenage life at home, only it turned into stupid and what ever else he could think of. Needless to say i moved out ASAP. I think most of my 20's i had low self esteem and weighed from 170 up to 180......once again i wish i was that "FAT" now. Over the years i think i did a lot of work on myself worth and the relationship with my father and both have improved.......not perfect but improved.......I think the eating to cope became a habit.

I was born at 8lbs 14oz and 23 inches long.

In kindergarten I was a head taller than every other kid.

I have always had a round face, and I was mildly overweight all threw elementary school, mainly just very tall. I was never a short, round kid.

In middle school I had some severe emotional trauma on a few different levels. I was about 5'10 and 220 in 7th grade. So above average weight, but very tall, not gigantic. In 8th grade The emotional traumas became more than I could handle.

By 9th grade I was 270 and 6'0. At this point my mom forced me on DeproPrivera Birth Control.

By 11th Grade I was 336 and 6'0. The birthcontrol, combined with emotional issues, starting a riot at my school, and overall depression took me to my heaviest.

The summer before my senior year I met a new group of friends, my life was forever changed. I got down to about 310, healthy ways. I began to back away from my school and just hang out with people not from school.

Janurary of my senior year I got into the wrong crowd, Started heavy drugs. I am not talking about smoking pot and drinking booze. I got down to around 280.

The summer after I graduated I cleaned up, because I had a full ride to Purdue university.

Between August of 2007 and August 2008 I had gained 40 pounds, was upto 320.

In that time I went to Purdue, came home because my long time finance had leukemia, lost my fiance to leukemia, and dealt with the grieving process.

I'm a carbaholic and have pcos. But it started in college when I moved away from my mother who is controlling and a freak about food. She taught me to hide what I'm eating or she would judge me from age 8 on.

when I went to college I met pizza, beer, and frat parties. I enjoyed it immensely. I gained 50 lbs in 4 years. ugh. I lost 10 gain 15, etc. repeat, relather...

I believe I've always rebelled and ate what I wanted b/c of my mother's behavior. But I'm an adult and I'm responsible now.

Losing weight got to hard and I've been raising small children. I gave up.

Now I'm ready, and I'm now 3 days post op. I pray this works for me.

Wow, it is hard to say how it all began, but I've been overweight my whole life. Both of my parents are overweight and I'm pretty sure there is a genetic component there. I remember dieting when I was as young as 4th grade. I've always eaten fairly healthfully, just way too much. It got worse in college. Then, the past 10 or so years since it has gone up and down. With relationships ending, work stress, etc...The past year I developed diabetes and high blood pressure and I think with all of the meds I've been on, that contributed as well. In the end it was my doing, but these were all contributors.

was in my 120's my whole adult life till i got married at 30.

1- stopped being active

2- ate TOO much

3- drank TOO much wine

and in 7yrs packed on 75lbs....

now, i much more active; eat appropriately & occassionally have a glass of wine:wink:....75lbs GONE!!!:thumbup:

In my dads eyes you are probably more excepted if you kill someone than be over weight. All of my cousins on my dads side, of which there are nearly 20 are all intelligent, athletic, very skinny and most are tall (the biggest girl would be my sister who would be a US size 8!)

I was hyperactive as a child so from the age of two I was on a diet.

I remember hiding sweets in my cupboard at the age of five.

Going to kids parties I was watched like a hawk so that I didn't have any "junk" but as soon as backs were turned I was like an out of controlled animal.

I went to stay with my grandparents one time and I snuck some lollies in my suitcase which were found, I got in a lot of trouble, the same visit I sneakily bought a Mars Bar (chocolate),was caught eating it and the shit hit the fan, got in so much trouble that my grandma wouldn't talk to me for a whole day, I was only 10years old!

I ended up marrying someone who, surprise surprise feels the same way about anyone being over weight as my dad does.

I guess you can see that in my life BIG=BAD.

I have waisted 35years thinking about my weight and I thought I just can't do this anymore, so I got banded 3rd Sept 2008 and i've promised my self to trust in the lap band and start living my life.

Two weeks ago I started back at the gym, I love to dance so i'm doing Zamba classes and pole dancing as well. I also told my husband to pull his head in last week and i'm not putting up with his put downs any more. I am going to work up north for 3 weeks in Dec and I am going back packing around India for 2-3 months end of next year with or with out my husband (if he is good he can come).