Many of you have seen photos of my sweet boy Gunnar. He was my child for all intensive purposes, I have no husband or children. I raised him since he was 6 1/2 wks old. This last 2 1/2 years we were never a day apart & he traveled everywhere with me. I haven't had the strenght to type this and tell everyone but my sweet baby boy is gone. It happened so fast I am still in shock.

Last Thursday we had a week of storms which always upset him & I found that he had peed on his beds instead of using his dog door to go outside. I though it was the storm but that nite there hadn't been any. Than another day(no storm) I smelled yearn on the couch in the sunroom. Finally Monday June 20th at 6 am he fell with a crash off the couch peeing through the living roon,kitchen & sunroom trying (God bless his heart) to make it outside to through his dog door. I opened the door for him & when he stummbled out he couldn't support himself to poo & fell down into the wet & tall grass(He hates getting his little feet wet). It was horrible. 15 mins later I got him inside & for the next 2 hours he just shook while lying down. I knew it was bad. Gunnar had gone through complete liver failure back in July 2004 & also recently pancreitis failure. He had artheritis in his spine & was shuting down. I called both the vet & breeder several times asking for validation of what I was about to do. Both agreed he would not get better but worse & that I should let him go before he breaks a leg or hip or worse. I was so not sure if it was time or not & am still struggling with what I had done.

I put my sweet boy to bed for the last time at 12:55am June 20th. My heart is broken & my eyes have been swollen for days. I am crying now as I try & type this.

The vet couldn't find his veins because they had begun to collapse & it hurt him a bit. The vet had to try 3 times & inbetween I fed my Boy meat w/sleeping pills to try & ease his mind. That just devastaed me. It should have been more smooth & peaceful, but in the end I held him & told him to go & play with his friend Cooper who had gone to heaven years before & that my Dad Papa Chuck would be waiting.

Gunnar was the BEST DOG EVER in the WORLD! He got me through my Grandparents death , My Fathers death, My divorce, My back problems & most of all his last gift to me was getting me through this surgery.

Oddly enough the very first day I DID NOT TAKE meds to go to sleep was this last Sunday. Has many of you know I had a huge hematoma from surgery & this past week it had got much better & I had slept on my stomach. Gunnar must have senced that I was better & would be OK, for when I awoke Monday morning he was already starting to leave me. My sweet boy had done that one last favor for me by staying strong & healthy for this past month & gotten me through another tough time. What a perfect compainion.

I will miss him forever & ever. My home is lonely, he was all I had. I don't know what will happen with my life now but I will try & not let this grief over take my body has it has done so many times in the past.

Here was the note placed at his favorite park that we went to everyday of his life. Sorry if the photo doesn't come through.

God Bless you Gunnar & Thank You Boy - Run, Play, Smell the flowers & feel no pain ever again-Mommy:0)

GUNNAR FISCHER.doc

Like eveyone else here I am sitting here at work with tears streaming. I too am a BIG animal lover. I had to put my "son" Hans Der Wienderschnitzel (dachshund) to sleep April 15th this year. He was almost 17 years old. I got him when he was 3 months old. So I feel your pain more than you will ever know. I still have two cats and three birds.

As hard as it is to say and accept, you gave him back his dignity. He loved you so much that he would not have wanted to be a burden to you in anyway. It is never easy to put an animal down but it was the best thing you could have done for him. He isn't suffering anymore.

If I can figure out how to add a link I will add one to the Rainbow Bridge. It comforted me after I put Hans down.

Please know that my thoughts are with you.

http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm

I can't find words right now. My life is powered by animal love. He was lucky to have such a mom.

Christina, I am so sorry to hear about Gunner. Your story is heart breaking. I hope you feel better soon.

Christina, what sad sad news. My heart is aching for you. Like many others who have posted here, I had to put a beloved pet down, and I still get teary when I think about it. But you have done the ultimate loving, humane thing for your dear companion. You may be suffering, but he no longer is. Blessings on you for making a hard decision that was maybe not in your own best interests but was the kindest gift for Gunnar.

Here is a web site that helped me during the difficult days right after Lola the Labrador died: http://www.srdogs.com/Pages/loss.html. Keep a box of Kleenex near you.

Like everyone, I am sitting at my desk with tears running down my face and sniffling. I am so sorry. I believe Gunner is probably looking at our on-line make shift service and know that you will be taken care of through this site.

Bless him for being there all those times you needed him. Our 4 legged friends give meaning to our lives that other just can't share.

Thousands of hugs and some puppy kisses from Gunner.

Hi Christina,

I'm fairly new to this board, but am a life-long animal lover. I'm so sorry about your baby boy Gunnar.

Years ago the Irish Wolf Hound (Named Lacey) that belonged to the Animal Beat correspondent of the Boston Globe (Vicki Croke) fell ill with bone cancer. She chronicled their struggles together in Lacey's last months, weeks and days. In the end, she had to have Lacey put to sleep.

Some length of time later she was still having a hard time dealing with the grief, and the guilt of whether she should have waited a little longer, etc. (all the same things the rest of us wonder when we have to make that painful decision for a pet). She wrote about going to a grief therapist who gave her some words of wisdom that have stuck with me till this day, and have eased my soul during the passing of two of my pets since then.

She said (I'm paraphrasing here) something like:

When we take a pet into our home and into our life, we strike a bargain with Nature. We get the benefit of our pet's eager company, undying love, undivided attention and unswerving loyalty for their whole life. In exchange, it is our responsibility, when the time comes, to do much more humanely what Nature would otherwise have done very cruelly.

I know nothing really makes it better, but I hope that helped a little like it helped me.

Gunnar's now healthy and happy, and waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge. You said you thought he had waited for you to get better before he left. If that's true, he probably wouldn't want you to be too too sad. Try to honor his noble gesture by not letting your grief swallow you up too completely.

Be well,

LizzyD

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I'm sitting here balling my eyes out as I read your story.

I pray that the Lord will help heal your heart, ease your loss, and wrap you in His loving arms of kindness and peace.

Reading your post mad me so sad for you--I remember what a mess I was after my sweet Boomer died. So sad. I am thinking of you.....

Kimberly

Zoe, thank you for that site. Christina, if I were you I'd probably be hiding in a hole, and I will be you some day (many days since I'll always have furbabies.) Kitty Milo McSorley Bonekovic just turned 15 - deep sigh. The knowledge that our children will be gone is unbearable. My girl dog shares my pillow and my boy sleeps on my feet, always touching. That can't be replaced, but I agree that many other babies need love, and you've got love to give. Yep, crying at work again. Force a smile for the good times - the sooner the better, okay?

Hi Christina

I too am sitting here with tears streaming down my face, I know exactly how you feel, but from what you have told us you definately made the right decision.

As sombody else mentioned maybe in the future there is another baby out there looking for love, I know its too soon at the moment but in time.

You can see in the photo just how close you were, Gunnar was a really handsome lad.

God bless you and God bless Gunnar.

Gaynor

Christina, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I can remember waking up

everyday for a long time with that "heavy heart" feeling after I lost my 6 year

old Springer Spaniel "Maggie" in 2002. We got a new Springer in April 2004, (Katie)

but I still think of Maggie often. Animals are such an important part of our

lives and bring us such joy. I hope when the time is right for you, you can

welcome a new furbaby, always keeping Gunnar in your heart.

Rhonda

I am so sorry, I was crying while reading your post. I can empathize with you, I recently lost my best friend of 14 years, it sucks, my daughter just walks around saying that it's not fair and I cannot disagree with her. I have you in my thoughts and prayers. you need to know that you gave your love a very good life and he made yours better too. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

How do I begin to say "THANK YOU " to everyone of you. My eyes are so swollen with both sad & happy tears its actually hard to see. Your words truely, truely help me so very much. Like some of you said he wouldn't want me to be sad for too long so by the end of this weekend I promise my sweet boy I will morn no more! I will only look to our memories with smiles & laughter:0)At least I will try.

I have yet to click the links that some of you listed- not enough strengh right now but maybe tonight or tomorrow.

What is the hardest is I have such a routine everyday & have for coming up on 3 yrs & it all was revolving around him. every dish every walk every ride every door opening or closing every sunny day & every rainy day. I just feel lost without him. It wouldn't have been this bad had I had a job & not been with him every waking moment. But than again that is why my love for him was so strong & our connection one that I will never have again.

Do you know that since the age of 2 1/2 he has NEVER had a collar or leash on except when in a public arena. He was trained in the Schutzhund clubs of America for 2 yrs by me, 3xs a week. He was 100% off lead trained & I used all German commands. He did however fail the over all attack work & traking. He hated the cold & was too much of a sweet heart to hurt a butterfly.

Lord I miss my boy soooooooo much! I have been blessed a few times these past days to see him running super fast in a very green hilly field in heaven. He looked so happy & very proud. Twice I have seen him smiling down on me & it brings me great joy. Like some of you have said he has his DIGNITY back & what a very proud strong boy he was & will always be.

God Bless you all- Thank you for your support- I've needed it very much.

Crystal, your love for your baby has truly touched my heart. I am so very sorry to hear of his passing. (((hugs)))

I'm very sorry for the loss of your precious Gunnar. You did the right thing.

Pansy