Many of you have seen photos of my sweet boy Gunnar. He was my child for all intensive purposes, I have no husband or children. I raised him since he was 6 1/2 wks old. This last 2 1/2 years we were never a day apart & he traveled everywhere with me. I haven't had the strenght to type this and tell everyone but my sweet baby boy is gone. It happened so fast I am still in shock.

Last Thursday we had a week of storms which always upset him & I found that he had peed on his beds instead of using his dog door to go outside. I though it was the storm but that nite there hadn't been any. Than another day(no storm) I smelled yearn on the couch in the sunroom. Finally Monday June 20th at 6 am he fell with a crash off the couch peeing through the living roon,kitchen & sunroom trying (God bless his heart) to make it outside to through his dog door. I opened the door for him & when he stummbled out he couldn't support himself to poo & fell down into the wet & tall grass(He hates getting his little feet wet). It was horrible. 15 mins later I got him inside & for the next 2 hours he just shook while lying down. I knew it was bad. Gunnar had gone through complete liver failure back in July 2004 & also recently pancreitis failure. He had artheritis in his spine & was shuting down. I called both the vet & breeder several times asking for validation of what I was about to do. Both agreed he would not get better but worse & that I should let him go before he breaks a leg or hip or worse. I was so not sure if it was time or not & am still struggling with what I had done.

I put my sweet boy to bed for the last time at 12:55am June 20th. My heart is broken & my eyes have been swollen for days. I am crying now as I try & type this.

The vet couldn't find his veins because they had begun to collapse & it hurt him a bit. The vet had to try 3 times & inbetween I fed my Boy meat w/sleeping pills to try & ease his mind. That just devastaed me. It should have been more smooth & peaceful, but in the end I held him & told him to go & play with his friend Cooper who had gone to heaven years before & that my Dad Papa Chuck would be waiting.

Gunnar was the BEST DOG EVER in the WORLD! He got me through my Grandparents death , My Fathers death, My divorce, My back problems & most of all his last gift to me was getting me through this surgery.

Oddly enough the very first day I DID NOT TAKE meds to go to sleep was this last Sunday. Has many of you know I had a huge hematoma from surgery & this past week it had got much better & I had slept on my stomach. Gunnar must have senced that I was better & would be OK, for when I awoke Monday morning he was already starting to leave me. My sweet boy had done that one last favor for me by staying strong & healthy for this past month & gotten me through another tough time. What a perfect compainion.

I will miss him forever & ever. My home is lonely, he was all I had. I don't know what will happen with my life now but I will try & not let this grief over take my body has it has done so many times in the past.

Here was the note placed at his favorite park that we went to everyday of his life. Sorry if the photo doesn't come through.

God Bless you Gunnar & Thank You Boy - Run, Play, Smell the flowers & feel no pain ever again-Mommy:0)

GUNNAR FISCHER.doc

Tammy-Shai & ZOE- Thanks for the links & the poems I finally had the nerve to read them the other day.

Today is the first morning I didn't cry the moment I got up. I took a nap this afternoon & got to see him in my dreams. The only bad part was I called him & said- "Oh Gunnar - come here - your really not dead-Thank God" The really good part is I got to hug him in my dream & I thought I was awake- IT FELT WONDERFUL. I didn't cry when I woke - Instead I said " Thank you Lord- for one last hug." By the way he seemed really happy:0)

This Monday , tomorrow I decided to spread flowers in his HONOR along that path that we would walk together everyday. He loved smelling flowers- kinda funny & silly for a dog- But he really did. So I am hoping to have a little closure & peace when I am done. Besides that I know that Gunnar will truely love it!

Thank you again everyone- re-reading this post the last few days has gotten me through a tough time & even though I know it may be awhile before I stop crying when I speak of him, your words have helped me remember that MY BABY HAD A GREAT LIFE & I COULDN'T HAVE LOVED HIM MORE! Thank you all ! (HUGS)

I'm sorry for your loss, I went through this same thing having to put our family dog of 9 years down in Feb. It is tough but each day gets a little easier, Hang in there

man oh man oh man. I am actually crying at work now!! He was BEAUTIFUL!!!! And obviously loved VERY much.

When I had my doggie issues months ago, the heartfelt responses poured out too. It really does help things.

Hope you find comfort in your memories Christina.

Blessings,

Crystal, your love for your baby has truly touched my heart. I am so very sorry to hear of his passing. (((hugs)))

No, no, not my sweet old dog. I read that and my heart took a leap. He's just getting older and lumpier.

Last week I started to add Senior Formual dog gravey to his food, plus I started him on the Breeder's Choice brand Active Join Treats. I give him 3 extra Cookies a day and it's really seems to have made a big difference! He's much more mobile and actaully wanted to play with his squeeky baby.

Christina, I'm still crying for Gunner, and for you.

Christina My eyes are full of tears reading your story. I hope in time this will become easier but right now I know it hurts and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers that you will make it through to better times. Keep his memories for those are what will bring smiles to your face again. ((((((HUGS)))))