My Heart Is Broken

[I'llsucceed 1]

Many of you have seen photos of my sweet boy Gunnar. He was my child for all intensive purposes, I have no husband or children. I raised him since he was 6 1/2 wks old. This last 2 1/2 years we were never a day apart & he traveled everywhere with me. I haven't had the strenght to type this and tell everyone but my sweet baby boy is gone. It happened so fast I am still in shock.

Last Thursday we had a week of storms which always upset him & I found that he had peed on his beds instead of using his dog door to go outside. I though it was the storm but that nite there hadn't been any. Than another day(no storm) I smelled yearn on the couch in the sunroom. Finally Monday June 20th at 6 am he fell with a crash off the couch peeing through the living roon,kitchen & sunroom trying (God bless his heart) to make it outside to through his dog door. I opened the door for him & when he stummbled out he couldn't support himself to poo & fell down into the wet & tall grass(He hates getting his little feet wet). It was horrible. 15 mins later I got him inside & for the next 2 hours he just shook while lying down. I knew it was bad. Gunnar had gone through complete liver failure back in July 2004 & also recently pancreitis failure. He had artheritis in his spine & was shuting down. I called both the vet & breeder several times asking for validation of what I was about to do. Both agreed he would not get better but worse & that I should let him go before he breaks a leg or hip or worse. I was so not sure if it was time or not & am still struggling with what I had done.

I put my sweet boy to bed for the last time at 12:55am June 20th. My heart is broken & my eyes have been swollen for days. I am crying now as I try & type this.

The vet couldn't find his veins because they had begun to collapse & it hurt him a bit. The vet had to try 3 times & inbetween I fed my Boy meat w/sleeping pills to try & ease his mind. That just devastaed me. It should have been more smooth & peaceful, but in the end I held him & told him to go & play with his friend Cooper who had gone to heaven years before & that my Dad Papa Chuck would be waiting.

Gunnar was the BEST DOG EVER in the WORLD! He got me through my Grandparents death , My Fathers death, My divorce, My back problems & most of all his last gift to me was getting me through this surgery.

Oddly enough the very first day I DID NOT TAKE meds to go to sleep was this last Sunday. Has many of you know I had a huge hematoma from surgery & this past week it had got much better & I had slept on my stomach. Gunnar must have senced that I was better & would be OK, for when I awoke Monday morning he was already starting to leave me. My sweet boy had done that one last favor for me by staying strong & healthy for this past month & gotten me through another tough time. What a perfect compainion.

I will miss him forever & ever. My home is lonely, he was all I had. I don't know what will happen with my life now but I will try & not let this grief over take my body has it has done so many times in the past.

Here was the note placed at his favorite park that we went to everyday of his life. Sorry if the photo doesn't come through.

God Bless you Gunnar & Thank You Boy - Run, Play, Smell the flowers & feel no pain ever again-Mommy:0)

GUNNAR FISCHER.doc

[lljpaisley 0]

Oh my God, I am so sorry. I was crying as I read your post. I had to put my first dog to sleep and you always wonder if it was the right thing to do, if it was the right time. I have three dogs and the oldest one is so feisty I know she won't be here much longer. My hope is that she dies in her sleep as I think we all do for our dogs.

I am fairly new to this site and don't know much about your precious baby, please tell me more

[mousecrazy 2]

I am so sorry, like the friend who just wrote before me, I had tears in my eyes while I was reading your story. I, too, am a pet lover, and I have had to say goodbye to special friends like Gunnar. It is heartbreaking. I looked at your picture and what you wrote to put in the park, and you did a fantastic job of on it. Gunnar's a good-looking dog, too! I know how much you will miss him. I hope you will not mind me giving this advice to you, but I think it is very important to remember that you gave him a lot of love, and the relationship was not a one-way street. When you are ready, find a new pet companion. He or she will not be Gunnar, but with your love and attention, you will create a new bond, and be an angel on earth to another pet.

I'm new around here, but I wanted to send you a hug. Cindy

[PRETTYPINKKITTY 0]

I Am So Very Sorry. I Lost One Of My Babies 2 Years Ago. It Broke My Heart. My Son, Who Was 6 At The Time Took Him For A Walk In Our Yard And Over To The Neighbors. Momo Pulled The Leash Out Of My Son's Hand And Ran. (we Live In The Country With Only 2 Close Neighbors On A Private Street) I Heard My Son Scream For His Doggy And I Came Running And So Did My Neighbor. He Was Lying About 10 Yards From My Son Under One Of The Large Oaks That Are Abundant In Our Neighborhood. Not 5 Minutes Had Gone By, I Oicked Him Up, He Was Breathing Really Hard, His Tongue Was Out And His Eyes Rolled Back In His Head. My Son Was Crying Frantically, And So Was I. My Husband Called The Vet On His Cell, I Noticed 2 Small Holes Bleeding Slightly Under His Front Leg And I Knew. My Husband Got His Gun And Went Looking, My Son & I Jumped In Our Neighbors Car And Tried To Get To The Vet. Momo Wason My Lap And My Son's When He Took His Last Breath. He Was Never Sick With Anything Other Than A Few Allergies, But Within 15 Minutes He Was Gone. My Husband Found The Snake In A Hole Under The Tree. To This Day I Cry For Him, But I Cry More Wheni Think That It Could Have Been My Son, And That His Best Friend Saved Him, Because If He Hadn't Run, My Son Would Have Surely Walked By That Tree And The Snake Could Have Gotten Him. It Stuck A Nerve Reading Your Story, Because It Has Been A While Since My Son Cried For His Momo And Last Night He Crawled In My Bed Cryin For Him Because He Had A Dream Of That Evening. It Will Get Easier, But Of Course You Will Never Forget. I Always Second-guess Myself For That Day, Maybe It Was My Fault, But There Isn't Anything We Can Do Now. My Sons Love Animals And We Recently Adopted A Min Pin And A Boxer, Not To Replace Momo, But To Give And Receive Love Again. God Bless And Take Care, Hopefully One Day You Will Be Able To Give Your Love To Another Doggy In Need, The Shelter We Went To Broke My Heart. We Couldn't Save Them All, But We Saved 2.

[Iluvharleys 15]

My heart goes out to you, I know how much it hurts to lose a friend. I shed tears right along with you, as most people who love pets will do.

[kellymoos 4]

My heart is broken by reading your story!! I am sitting here at work in tears. Dogs are the most wonderful, loving animals that God created!!! My sincere sympathy goes to you and everyone else that has lost a best friend, including me!

[Mita 2]

I am so sorry that you lost your Baby Boy.. The Lord has a new Angel.. It's Heartbreaking to lose ones pets they are just like family..

My deepest Sympathy

[Penni60 45]

Awww Christina Never in my wildest dreams would I find that your precious Gunnar had past. I was curious about you and how you were doing so that is why I sent you that PM asking how you were. I knew something was up but wasn't sure what. I am so sorry.

I can't grab the pic from the document. Just send me Gunnar's pic and I will post it for you. Send it to my email address.

Call me girlie girl. Better yet I will call you.

[daisydoodle 0]

My heart breaks for you. I know all too well how deep and real the pain that you are feeling really is. Please take comfort in your wonderful memories and all the joy that filled the days that you and your baby shared. You will never get over it....but time does eventually soothe this ache.

My sincerest thoughts are with you.

[vinesqueen 2]

Oh Christina, I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my cheecks, my nose all stuffy from crying. I'm so very sorry that your very dear friend is gone. You have just made the hardest desision I think a person can make. I know there are many people who would condem you for what you've done, because they don't understand.

I know you are probably inconsolable right now. I know that Gunner was an older dog, and I think it takes a special person to care for older pets and people. It took me years between the last pet I lost and getting my dear sweet Astro.

You will be in my thoughts. *sniff* ((((hugs))))

[Madeline's mom 0]

Christina,

Words can not express the sorrow I feel for you! It is so obvious how much you loved Gunnar. I know you will miss him so much but he is in Doggie heaven now in NO pain.

Christina he really was a beutiful dog and your pictures together show how close you too were. I pray that God will give you the strength to get through this tough time. Feb 19 is my birthday too and I will send a little prayer for both of you next 2/19th!

[Mariposa Bella 3]

I am so sorry for your loss. Sending lots of (((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))

[the best me 6]

sobbing at the computer for you! How sad, I'm so sorry. (((((((hugs)))))))))

[iluvpalmtrz 0]

I am so very sorry...I lost my collie Sandy after 10 1/2 years..my first daughter was 6 months old when I got her. It broke my heart the day I had to put her to sleep due to a massive uterine infection. I had her cremated and she is in an urn so she can travel with me whereever I go. It will be awonderful day when I see her again.

Gunnar was a beautiful dog! Boxers are truly loving loyal pets. I have been fortunate to meet many of them as my friend helps run a Boxer Rescue.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Vera 7]

I am so so sorry, My heart hurts as well.