OK...here goes nothing. I haven't posted in quite a while because I have been dealing with some real shit at home. A month ago I found out that my husband of almost 10 years has been having an affair for the last year and a half. :mad:That's right...while I was losing weight and looking great, that pig went out seeking an affair and here I was scared of how I would act after I started to get attention from others when I started to look nice. I am hurt:crying:, angry:mad2:, sad :cry_smile:, devastated:cursing:, sick and every other emotion (other than happy). I'm now on Xanax for my anxiety and I am completely obsessed with this crap. How can someone go out seeking an affair when they have a wife and two beautiful children? Do people care anymore? Do vows mean anything? What the hell is wrong with people? Of course now all of a sudden he wants the marriage to work. Well damn...you should have thought about that before porking the skank!!!! I want to freaken scream. I want to hurt them both. How the hell do people get on after things like this happen to them? Is it possible? We are in counseling, but should I even bother? Will he do it again? What about my kids? Damn...I need some serious help. This really sucks. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of the chest pains and the anxiety. I want a fairy tale ended but unfortunately my marriage will NEVER be the same. I can never look at him the same way again. Do I give up and start my life over with my boys? Can someone wake me up from this horribe nightmare????? Why me? In the last year I have gone from a size 22/24 to a size 10/12 and I have lost 106 pounds. I thought that my husband was proud of me and thought that I was looking good...guess not, huh? Joke's on me!!!

Tina, I am so glad things are going better for you. I hope you have fun on your date.. It will take a long time for your trust to build back up . just take everything 1 day at a time.

Prayers are awesome.Mine are with you.

Do not let the bastard ruin your life! You have accomplished a great thing!

don't let him win by making you miserable that you start eating. Only you can decide if he is worth it. Just remember you deserve to be happy and can/will he make you happy? Concentrate on your kids. Give them time and attention. Do a little thing to help someone everyday and you will find you can clear your mind and make the right decision. Do not let him ruin your self esteem. Good luck and hope you get the happiness you deserve.

Glad to hear such a good update!!!!! And your goal will come sooner than you think!! All you can do is take it one day at a time, sleep, and do it all again. Later on, with trust building and the new memories, it will turn into 1 week at a time, 1 month at a time, etc. until you are just living without "waiting" for something. I really am happy for you and you are such an inspiration. Have a great weekend and enjoy your date!! And don't put date in quotations...a date is a date! Even when you're married! :-)

If someone truly loves you; they would never cross this line!!! For me this would be a deal breaker... I wish you the best in your decisions. Only you know what is right for you.

Tina,

We haven't seen you post in a couple weeks now. I hope things are continuing to improve. If so I would understand if you wanted to back away from this thread as it may just stir up emotions you are trying to work through. Anyways, I'm still praying for you and your sons.

- Diane

I check out this site daily to see if you've posted, since you haven't, I'm hoping you're using your energy to restore your relationship and your family.

Let your heart be your guide, you and only you, know what is right for you and your family.

Hugs

Hi there, I just came across this thread and my heart went out to you. I went through a very similar thing w/my husband several years ago. The reasons for it happening are so individual, but one thing I've learned from the experience that sometimes it truly is just a mistake and they really do want to make things work. It took 3 years or so, but now I trust him again, and honestly I think things are better than they ever were.

At first I reacted like you did, anytime I couldn't get him on the phone, or he was a few minutes late my mind went straight to him cheating. We would have crazy blowups every few months, but he always stayed calm and reassured me that he'd brought on the suspician by what he'd done. Honestly, it's amazing that he dealt with me being as crazy as I was, but I think it's just part of the healing process.

It sounds like your husband is genuinely trying to make amends, just keep assuring him that if he's sincere about repairing things in time it will get better, but that in the meantime he has to be willing to account for his whereabouts and deal with what may be irrational behavior from time to time. If he can deal with the pressure then you know he truly wants to be with you, if he can't, kick him to the curb, you're beautiful and deserve a partner who values that!

Well hello, my friends. I'm back. I have been gone for a while...took the kids to Disney World and then I was home with them for a week because my daycare provider was on vacation. So...that's why I haven't posted.

Disney World was great. The kids had a wonderful time. It was my oldest sons birthday and he got to spend it at Magic Kingdom. How great is that? My husband and I got along pretty well and I think all in all everyone had a great vacation. My kids said that it was the best time that they have ever had.

OK...here's the latest...I have learned (through my own sneaky research) that the other woman has moved five states away. I didn't think that they were still talking or seeing each other but this certainly did relieve me a bit. I still have my moments...don't get my wrong. I am still obsessing about the whole thing but hopefully in time things will get better. Last week I took my boys out and we had professional pictures taken (I didn't tell my husband). I framed a 5x7 and put it in a gift bag. I made him a card and on the inside, I wrote: "Here's a little something for your desk to remind you of those that love you and those that you can lose". He was very touched and almost cried. The picture turned out GREAT!!!

So...that's the latest on that issue. Now...I go tomorrow for my consultation with the plastic surgeon. This morning I hit 155 (down 120 pounds). I wanted to be at 145 at the time of my appointment but vacation didn't help with that. I'm 15 pounds away from my goal. I would LOVE to get there before I do the breast cancer 3 day walk. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Well...thanks so much everyone for being here for me. You really have no idea how much it means to me. All of the support is unbelievable. Thanks!!!!!

Tina, so glad to hear you're healing. Sounds like you're well on your way .

I'll bet DH was very touched and WILL cherish that picture forever.

Hugs!

Hi there. I think that I'm finally starting to get a little better. I am trying not to obsess to much. I know that I will have my days but I will get through them. DH is trying very hard. He's opening up to me and communicating like never before. If it works out, great...if not...I can make it. My boys see that we are getting along and their behavior has improved. They go back to school on Monday. My youngest has informed me that he's not going (he will be in school all day now...kindergarten). He's so funny.

Anyway...thank you all for your advice, wisdom and prayers. Keep it all coming. I can't get through this alone and it's nice to hear from everyone. It doesn't matter if you think I should dump him and go or if you think I should work it out...bring it all on. I really like to hear from everyone.

I hope everyone is doing well. Take care and hope to hear from you all.

If it works out, great...if not...I can make it.

Tina, As bad as the experience has been, to have gained the confidence to make that statement, is a wonderful thing.

I'm thinking you are on the road to healing. No matter what happens you are more prepared than before. I pray that your marriage will continue healing. I am so happy for you. Keep us posted please. We are here for you no matter what.

I have to second what both Tapshoes and Gone4Ever had to say. There is no way any of us can tell you what to do in your life but we are all here to support you as you move forward.

Tina

I am so happy for you and your family to be working on things. I know it means alot to you. Keep it up and I will keep you in my prayers.

Hi there. I think that I'm finally starting to get a little better. I am trying not to obsess to much. I know that I will have my days but I will get through them. DH is trying very hard. He's opening up to me and communicating like never before. If it works out, great...if not...I can make it. My boys see that we are getting along and their behavior has improved. They go back to school on Monday. My youngest has informed me that he's not going (he will be in school all day now...kindergarten). He's so funny.

Anyway...thank you all for your advice, wisdom and prayers. Keep it all coming. I can't get through this alone and it's nice to hear from everyone. It doesn't matter if you think I should dump him and go or if you think I should work it out...bring it all on. I really like to hear from everyone.

I hope everyone is doing well. Take care and hope to hear from you all.

Reading about your situation makes me hurt for you. None of us knows what's the right thing for you, your marriage, or your family. What's right for you may not be right for your marriage or family or vice versa. I just know for me, I don't think I could forgive. I have trust issues so once it's been tested by someone, then I've found I can never trust them again. Without trust, there is no true intimacy and without true intimacy, I am just going through the motions.