OK...here goes nothing. I haven't posted in quite a while because I have been dealing with some real shit at home. A month ago I found out that my husband of almost 10 years has been having an affair for the last year and a half. :mad:That's right...while I was losing weight and looking great, that pig went out seeking an affair and here I was scared of how I would act after I started to get attention from others when I started to look nice. I am hurt:crying:, angry:mad2:, sad :cry_smile:, devastated:cursing:, sick and every other emotion (other than happy). I'm now on Xanax for my anxiety and I am completely obsessed with this crap. How can someone go out seeking an affair when they have a wife and two beautiful children? Do people care anymore? Do vows mean anything? What the hell is wrong with people? Of course now all of a sudden he wants the marriage to work. Well damn...you should have thought about that before porking the skank!!!! I want to freaken scream. I want to hurt them both. How the hell do people get on after things like this happen to them? Is it possible? We are in counseling, but should I even bother? Will he do it again? What about my kids? Damn...I need some serious help. This really sucks. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of the chest pains and the anxiety. I want a fairy tale ended but unfortunately my marriage will NEVER be the same. I can never look at him the same way again. Do I give up and start my life over with my boys? Can someone wake me up from this horribe nightmare????? Why me? In the last year I have gone from a size 22/24 to a size 10/12 and I have lost 106 pounds. I thought that my husband was proud of me and thought that I was looking good...guess not, huh? Joke's on me!!!

Teeny Tina Groupie checking in...LOL :crying:

Just donated to the walk - have a wonderful time, and enjoy your new-designed-by-you life!

You are definately an inspiration - in fact, I think your story would make a great book to help others who are going through what you've been through...

Something to think about...as if you're not busy enough!:wub:

EbonyRose...you rock! You are officially my first donation for 2009. I'm so excited.

A book, huh? Very interesting. Maybe I'll think about that...what about a Liftetime movie...lol

Hey there groupies...how's it going? So....this weekend (6/13) is my wedding anniversary...11 years...guess how I'm going to Celebrate...I'm going to party, party and party some more.

Life is going good...hanging out with friends and having a good time. The boys are doing great and gearing up for summer vacation...their last day of school is Friday.

BTW...thanks Beth for the donation...I'm going to start on my fundraising journey this weekend...wish me luck.

Take care everyone!

Hey Tina!

Good for you on your weekend plans! I'm so glad to hear that things are working out so well for you.

Glad to hear you are doing the 3 day. I run in the Susan G. Komen 5K every year. I made a donation for you!

Thanks, Suzanne...wasn't that 5k this past weekend in DC or was that a different one?

I did the 3day last year and it was a great experience. Last year I created a team...nobody wanted to do it with me this year so I'm flying solo...

You're very welcome, Tina! My mom is a breast cancer survivor. Her mom is not. So... obviously I have a very strong history, and this is near to my heart.

Glad to hear you will be enjoying your non-iversary! :thumbup:

Thanks, Suzanne...wasn't that 5k this past weekend in DC or was that a different one?

I did the 3day last year and it was a great experience. Last year I created a team...nobody wanted to do it with me this year so I'm flying solo...

I do the Richmond race. It was May 9th. I don't like coming to DC on my days off if I can avoid it. ha ha

Good morning everyone. I hope that everyone is doing well. Just thought I would write and give you a little bit of an update. Well...this past Saturday (6/13) was my 11 year wedding anti-versary. I did rather well but it upset me that nobody in my family said anything to me. My boys were with their dad this weekend so I was kinda sitting around the house by myself the entire day which gave me nothing but quiet time to sit and think.

Saturday evening, my friend picked me up and we went to listen to a band. We went to a restaurant/bar on the Water and the band played outside so we were dancing in the sand. I had a great time. It really took my mind off of things and let me unwind. I did get a text message from one of my bridesmaids (who is HIS friend...turned my friend) and she said that she had been thinking about me all day. I thought that was very nice of her. So...anyway...that about sums up my antiversary.

My boys came home yesterday and I couldn't have been happier to see them. They had been with their dad since Wednesday (the day my youngest graduated kindergarten) and I missed them like crazy.

Well...that's all for now...thanks again for all of your support. I appreciate it.

Good morning everyone. I hope that everyone is doing well. Just thought I would write and give you a little bit of an update. Well...this past Saturday (6/13) was my 11 year wedding anti-versary. I did rather well but it upset me that nobody in my family said anything to me.

I think people don't really know WHAT to say...they don't want to bring up bad memories or make you sad, so they avoid the topic all together.

My boys were with their dad this weekend so I was kinda sitting around the house by myself the entire day which gave me nothing but quiet time to sit and think.

Quiet time is underrated - I don't remember the last time I had an entire day to sit and think - just do what I wanted to do...sounds like a luxury to me!

Saturday evening, my friend picked me up and we went to listen to a band. We went to a restaurant/bar on the Water and the band played outside so we were dancing in the sand. I had a great time. It really took my mind off of things and let me unwind. I did get a text message from one of my bridesmaids (who is HIS friend...turned my friend) and she said that she had been thinking about me all day. I thought that was very nice of her. So...anyway...that about sums up my antiversary.

Kudos to your friend for letting you know she'd been thinking about you...that was perfect! I'm glad you went out and had fun Saturday...I can remember when my divorce was final, my mom and I sat and drank an entire bottle of Champagne and got giggly drunk...not falling down drunk, 'cause neither of us were drinkers, but just really giggly. My son was only about a year old, so he was asleep. It was fun, and the time I think our relationship changed from so much mother-daughter to being really good friends as well.

My boys came home yesterday and I couldn't have been happier to see them. They had been with their dad since Wednesday (the day my youngest graduated kindergarten) and I missed them like crazy.

Well...that's all for now...thanks again for all of your support. I appreciate it.

You know we got your back - electronically of course - and I am personally SO PROUD of you for being such a strong and wonderful woman.

Keep on doin' you, girlfriend...sounds to me like you're on the right track!

Tina, glad to hear that you made it through the day all right. each one will get easier. People probably didn't say anything because they were afraid it would upset you. Kinda like the outa sight outa mind concept. If you don't mention it then you don't think about it.

Blessings to you Tina.

Tina - I am glad you had a somewhat smooth "anti-versary". I agree that some people may not know what to say if anything at all and they would rather keep quiet than possibly say something to hurt your feelings. Your friend calling and saying she was thinking about you was one of the sweetest things I could think of someone to do. Thanks for being an inspiration to keep up the good living even when those around you don't.....hope you're having a wonderful day!

it took about 18 months for the pain to go away in my marrage. it started getting better at about 1 year. we stayed together and have been going to counciling twice a month for over 3 years now. Marrage is better than ever. The cheating doesnt really come up anymore because it is just a symptom of deeper problems so we have both taken responsibility for our parts. we just had our 18th year annaversary.

we still have our issues but we understand our relationship more than ever.

#2 is posible about the honest marrage as a result.

this will make you stronger, it forces you to accept you don't have to be dependant on your partner to survive and that is liberating.

I suggest stopping the xanex by the way. I know what it is for and what it does and took my own share of it. You need to process the pain. the xanex will keep you down and numb and you wont progress while you are taking it. if you drink even a glass of wine you intensify the effects. It will distort your emotions and is very addicting. Sorry for the lecture..been there, done that and watch it a 100 times in friends.

Well...the weekend went alright until last night when I started again with my out of the blue crying. I think that I'm falling into a deep depression and it's killing me. I can't believe that he has done this to me. I never expected such behavior from him. I truly thought that this is the one thing that I would never have to worry about. Does the pain ever go away? Does it ever get better? Anyone out there go through this and have their marriage work? I have told him that one of two things will happen. 1) Divorce or 2) the best, most honest, kick-ass marriage on the planet. Damn...this sucks.

I truly appreciate everyones support. I will not let this break me. Either way I will come out a stronger person and I will have a wonderful life...with or without him in it. All good wishes and prayers and welcome!!!

Hello to my peeps... This is the best Monday that I can remember in a very, very long time. Just got out of a meeting at work and do you all remember the bitch in the office that I was talking about...she got another position and is leaving the office...I can't stop smiling...my work life just got really, really good...plus, there's a slight chance that I could get her job which is a promotion. Keep your fingers crossed for me...the application was due last week and I got it in just in time. Woo Hoo....there is a God.

BTW...I hope everyone is doing well...:biggrin:

Hello to my peeps... This is the best Monday that I can remember in a very, very long time. Just got out of a meeting at work and do you all remember the bitch in the office that I was talking about...she got another position and is leaving the office...I can't stop smiling...my work life just got really, really good...plus, there's a slight chance that I could get her job which is a promotion. Keep your fingers crossed for me...the application was due last week and I got it in just in time. Woo Hoo....there is a God.

BTW...I hope everyone is doing well...:biggrin:

Omg, how fantastic!!! I wish God had been smiling down on my old job and gotten rid of the bitch I had. I hope you get the promotion! What a perk that would be!

Omg, how fantastic!!! I wish God had been smiling down on my old job and gotten rid of the bitch I had. I hope you get the promotion! What a perk that would be!

What she said...

Hi Teeny Tina!

Glad you are having a wonderful Monday...hope the rest of the week goes just as beautifully!