OK...here goes nothing. I haven't posted in quite a while because I have been dealing with some real shit at home. A month ago I found out that my husband of almost 10 years has been having an affair for the last year and a half. :mad:That's right...while I was losing weight and looking great, that pig went out seeking an affair and here I was scared of how I would act after I started to get attention from others when I started to look nice. I am hurt:crying:, angry:mad2:, sad :cry_smile:, devastated:cursing:, sick and every other emotion (other than happy). I'm now on Xanax for my anxiety and I am completely obsessed with this crap. How can someone go out seeking an affair when they have a wife and two beautiful children? Do people care anymore? Do vows mean anything? What the hell is wrong with people? Of course now all of a sudden he wants the marriage to work. Well damn...you should have thought about that before porking the skank!!!! I want to freaken scream. I want to hurt them both. How the hell do people get on after things like this happen to them? Is it possible? We are in counseling, but should I even bother? Will he do it again? What about my kids? Damn...I need some serious help. This really sucks. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of the chest pains and the anxiety. I want a fairy tale ended but unfortunately my marriage will NEVER be the same. I can never look at him the same way again. Do I give up and start my life over with my boys? Can someone wake me up from this horribe nightmare????? Why me? In the last year I have gone from a size 22/24 to a size 10/12 and I have lost 106 pounds. I thought that my husband was proud of me and thought that I was looking good...guess not, huh? Joke's on me!!!

Um....it changed my thighs a little but not as much as I thought...I gotta work on those...I'm not going to have work "done" on them because I think I'll be alright...they are a little flabby on the inside but I'm hoping I'll be able to deal with it. Hell...I'm certainly not looking for perfection...I don't even think there is such a think.

It did help my butt a little but I have to say...I really have no junk in my trunk anymore...lol...I have to do some squats as soon as I get the go ahead from the doctor. The lower body lift gave me a pancake rear end ...gotta try to boost that up a little. The best bet is to ask a surgeon what would work best for your body type. When I initially went for a consultation I wanted to know about a tummy tuck and inner thigh lift...as you can see...I didn't do either. Plus...never in a million years did I ever think I would get breast implants...when I was big I was a D cup...after losing all that weight I was a C cup but it was all skin...I asked about a lift and I would be a very small B or an A so I just had to get those implants...I think my doctor did a fantastic job...

I have to agree, he did do an amazing job.

Tina, you look amazing!!

How'd it go last night? Hopefully well.

Kat, scary story, thank God you're still alive and well. DH (current) sounds like a great guy!

Edited May 4, 200917 yr by heartfire
needed to add a word

Holy cow everyone...let me tell you about my experience at the doctor yesterday...remember I told you that I had fluid in my back? Well...I went in and saw a "substitute" doctor cuz my guy is out of town...she had to drain it out with a needle...so...I was standing there while she was doing it and there was so much coming out. Finally, she said, I'm going to put a cathader in here to drain it. She had to leave the room to go find what she was looking for. There I was...standing there and I started getting dizzy...ears starting ringing and before you knew it I completely passed out and was laying on the floor...that has NEVER happened to me. I immediately got up and instead of sitting down like a smart person, I stood up at the counter again only to find myself back on the floor. I then got back up when I came to and opened the door for help. My God...that was pretty scarey...I tell ya...only me, huh? So...bottom line, I got another drain put back in (oh boy) and she restitched the one in the front...wasn't a very pleasant experience yesterday. I ended up staying at my parents again because I took some pain meds and I don't like to be by myself with the kids when I'm taking that. My tail bone hurts really bad right now and I might have to make sure that I didn't crack it. WTH...I'm just a mess. :thumbdown:

I'm feeling better today and trying to get some work done here at home...they told me to take it easy so that's just what I'm gonna do...so...that's my story and I'm sticking to it....lol

Lordy, Tina!! :thumbdown:

Did you tell the doc what happened?? And if so, what did she say about that happening? Do you think you were just woozy over the needle or something else? That's scary!

Well I am back first let me say Tina you look great and I am sorry to hear about the violence you wittness. Now let me say I really feel as if I was misunderwstood I was merely thinking about your family I did not mean to offend anyone but your behavyior seemed a little reckless I mean you are a grown women and you would allow yourself to get so drunk that you would kiss make out with your brothers friend on your lawn with your husband and children in the house come on I understand partying but that is too much. I KNOW THAT SAYING ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER but that is not true. I did not get the band to find someone I never had a problem in that area but I know of many cases that women lose4 the wieght and get wild. I apologize if I offened you please know that was not my intention. I am happy for you and if what your husband did was unforgivable then you have every right to move on.

You know...I'm really not a mean person at all but I have to get this off of my chest...maybe if my wonderful husband had thought about my family there would still be a family...and...you're saying that the saying "once a cheater always a cheater" isn't true...perhaps you should go back and read this thread...the man couldn't keep it in his pants if someone paid him but now that his world has come crumbling down he's "SO IN LOVE WITH ME". WHATEVER!!!!! I'm not going to attempt to try to be happy with a man who has hurt me so very much...I have no desire to and...me getting drunk and the incident with my brothers friend...it's not an everyday thing...it's not like I go out every single night, get drunk and end up with the highest bidder...I guess I should just say...forgive me for letting go a little after having my heart and world shattered in 50 million pieces...how dare me, right?

OK...that's all I'm going to say about this...

Michelle, you sound like a very needy woman, the kind who allows herself to be in an abusive relationship. Maybe that has something to do with your weight. Maybe you'll learn to respect yourself and stand up for yourself when some jackass breaks your heart. You need help, Tina is in a very good place in her life. She's doing the right thing, she's moving on and yes sometimes that requires letting loose a little bit. I know I've been there and I'm not ashamed of it either! It was fun and helped me move on.

Go Tina!

So sorry about the drains and the fainting! I can't imgine how scary that was. What in the world, did NOBODY hear you fall? Geeze. What did they say about the fainting?

Suz oh honey how wrong you are I am in no way needy i and as far as my weight i am not that heavy i am a good looking women wjth a couple of extra pounds and that has only been in the last three years oh and did i mention i wear it well. I just believe people give up too easy dam that is all ok if he couldnt keep it in his pants then thats one thing but if that were the case she should have left long time ago its just funny that sibce she lost the weight she just happen to see the light. You guys act as if i am telling her ti just settle for anything my God all i sugested was to work on it dam I am so sorry but what ever I wish you guys all the luck in the world oh and Tina you we4re the one that said he was a good guy great father but i guess you forgot you said that you didnt stress that he was screwing everything you just mentioned the std thing but wtfe

Hey Tina,

You've got absolutely NOTHING to apologize for...none of us can truly understand or know what you have been through, and with very few exceptions, most of those who post here sympathize and understand what you have been through and wish you nothing but the best.

Do not let ANYONE make you second-guess your decision or doubt the ones you've made since then! You have EARNED the right to direct your own life with what you've been through, and it's just TOO DAMN BAD your EX-husband didn't know what he had before he screwed around and screwed up!

You've always been the person you are right now - it's just that the extra pounds were literally "weighing you down"...now you've lost all that stuff you didn't need (including the cheating man) and you can fly free!

You have made sweet and tart lemonade out of the lemons you've been handed, and while you might not have sweet days all the time, you will definately have more sweet than sorrowful.

YOU GO GIRL!!!!! You look fantastic, you feel good about yourself, and you're moving on in a POSITIVE direction...

To quote Jay-Z "Go'on, brush yo shoulders off!":wub:

Michelle,

Even though I owe you absolutely NO explanation about my life and my decisions...I just want to point out one thing...READ before posting. You mentioned that I should have left him a long time ago because he couldn't keep it in his pants...I didn't find out ANY of it until I found out about the year and a half long affair...that's when his world came crumbling down after my investigations began. So...I should try without throwing in the towel huh...a year isn't long enough? What...should I stay in misery for two, three, five, ten years? Evenone heals and/or moves on at a different pace and for me...I figured that a year of therapy and a year of putting on a fake happy smile was quite enough for me. Yes...he has turned into a good guy but that doesn't erase everything that he did to me. And...I changed because of my weight...don't you think he's hating it now because I could be his "trophy wife"? Let me tell you...that's the case. So...hun...before you slip into a thread with your two cents...reading may do you a little bit of good.

Thanks for your contribution but I think I'm doing pretty damn good for myself right now and I think that my children are much better off with me and my husband not together. There was too much tension and now our home is a happy one. You take care of yourself, Michelle!

Tina - Well said! :thumbup:

I will apologize to the mods ahead of time, but...

Michelle, STFU.

Michelle,

Even though I owe you absolutely NO explanation about my life and my decisions...I just want to point out one thing...READ before posting. You mentioned that I should have left him a long time ago because he couldn't keep it in his pants...I didn't find out ANY of it until I found out about the year and a half long affair...that's when his world came crumbling down after my investigations began. So...I should try without throwing in the towel huh...a year isn't long enough? What...should I stay in misery for two, three, five, ten years? Evenone heals and/or moves on at a different pace and for me...I figured that a year of therapy and a year of putting on a fake happy smile was quite enough for me. Yes...he has turned into a good guy but that doesn't erase everything that he did to me. And...I changed because of my weight...don't you think he's hating it now because I could be his "trophy wife"? Let me tell you...that's the case. So...hun...before you slip into a thread with your two cents...reading may do you a little bit of good.

Thanks for your contribution but I think I'm doing pretty damn good for myself right now and I think that my children are much better off with me and my husband not together. There was too much tension and now our home is a happy one. You take care of yourself, Michelle!

Tina, dear :smile:, some people don't deserve the time of day. Your ex was one, and now you've met another.

Some people are such troglodytes that they would be willing to have ANY man -- even a skank who runs around on them -- just to say they have a man. It sounds to me like somebody is jealous that you had a man and gave him up -- even though your reasons were sound -- because they can't get one.

Maybe you ought to hook her up with your ex. Sounds like she is willing to settle for lowlifes just fine. :thumbup:

ok enough is enough I am done good luck to you all. I am sorry that I even said anything but let me say I am a strong good women and if anyone women ever says that her man cheated for a year and she didnt have a clue is a dam lie you didnt want to know so what ever and jealous baby I am fine without plastic surgery I am a strong women and trust i am 38 yr and i have had a man cheat on me and i didnt have to see it to believe it i left at the first sighn of mistrust and i didnt have two kids to think of and for that i am greatful. I didnt come on here to be mean i spoke my mind and you didnt have to get all puffy MY god lyou are too touchje what did i say to bring on all the ange I am done good luck and tell your groupies to leave me alone