OK...here goes nothing. I haven't posted in quite a while because I have been dealing with some real shit at home. A month ago I found out that my husband of almost 10 years has been having an affair for the last year and a half. :mad:That's right...while I was losing weight and looking great, that pig went out seeking an affair and here I was scared of how I would act after I started to get attention from others when I started to look nice. I am hurt:crying:, angry:mad2:, sad :cry_smile:, devastated:cursing:, sick and every other emotion (other than happy). I'm now on Xanax for my anxiety and I am completely obsessed with this crap. How can someone go out seeking an affair when they have a wife and two beautiful children? Do people care anymore? Do vows mean anything? What the hell is wrong with people? Of course now all of a sudden he wants the marriage to work. Well damn...you should have thought about that before porking the skank!!!! I want to freaken scream. I want to hurt them both. How the hell do people get on after things like this happen to them? Is it possible? We are in counseling, but should I even bother? Will he do it again? What about my kids? Damn...I need some serious help. This really sucks. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of the chest pains and the anxiety. I want a fairy tale ended but unfortunately my marriage will NEVER be the same. I can never look at him the same way again. Do I give up and start my life over with my boys? Can someone wake me up from this horribe nightmare????? Why me? In the last year I have gone from a size 22/24 to a size 10/12 and I have lost 106 pounds. I thought that my husband was proud of me and thought that I was looking good...guess not, huh? Joke's on me!!!

Go Tina! Go Tina!

So good to hear you're progressing so well...keep up the good work, obviously you are doing all the right things!:thumbup:

Tina, Haven't heard from you in a while. I pray your alright and doing good. Hopefully we will hear from you soon.

Hi everyone...sorry I haven't posted in a while...had one hell of a stressful couple of days. Physically I'm doing awesome...have two drains left and hope to get them out on Friday when my doctor returns back in town. Now...here's the latest...

Last week (Thursday) at about 10:30 pm I was sitting in my bed talking to a friend on the phone...this was only the second time since surgery that I was in my bed because it's just easier on the sofa. Anyway...I hear screaming outside of my house...I look out the front window and don't see anything and then BOOM...there is beating and screaming at my front door. I was horrified...remember...it's just me and my kids now...so I call 911 because there was a man getting beaten by another man right at my front door. That man was trying to get into my house with all of his might and I was absolutely scared to death. The police arrived and come to find out that the one man stabbed the other man in the head...AT MY FRONT DOOR!!! They found the stabbed guy in my backyard unconscience. They flew him out to a local hospital and it appears that he's going to be alright. They just arrested the other guy yesterday. I have not slept in my house since then. I'm scared to death. The entire incident really played a toll on my mind...I hate it. Just when everything was going so wonderful for me and then this happens. I know that it wasn't a crime against me or my house or even the neighborhood but when you see a man getting beaten at your front door and your door is smeared with blood and it splattered all over your sidewalk, it really screws with your head. Damn it...what's wrong with this world?

Omg, Tina, how HORRIBLE!! I'm SO sorry you had to go through this now that you've found your freedom. If this is an isolated incident and not indicative of your neighborhood, then I hope you can find it within yourself to return soon so your life can get back to normal.

(((HUGS))), my friend.

Wow Tina.:drool: I really don't know what to say except I agree with what Beth said. If this isn't indicative of your neighborhood then hopefully you will be able to start to sleep there again. Where did these men come from? Or do you even know? My heart goes out to you. I can only imagine what your feelings are right now.

On another note...can't wait to see updated pics of you after all the drain tubes come out.

Take care hon. Thoughts and prayers are with you.

ive never posted on this thread tina, but ive been reading it, and I have to say u , from what I have read, are a very strong woman. I know it must have been horrifing seeing and hearing what u did, especially as a single lady with children. I just know that this is just another block in the road for u that u will surely overcome. I wish u lots of luck and pray that u are in your home safe and sound with your children soon.

amy

Omg, Tina, how HORRIBLE!! I'm SO sorry you had to go through this now that you've found your freedom. If this is an isolated incident and not indicative of your neighborhood, then I hope you can find it within yourself to return soon so your life can get back to normal.

(((HUGS))), my friend.

Yeah, what she said!

Oh Tina! I'm so sorry! How horrible! I also echo what the others have said. I'll say prayers for you that you can put this in a good place for yourself and move away from it.

Is there someone you can have go clean things up for you so you don't have to try to do it? That would help a lot, I think.

Are you still going to counseling? I would definitely bring this up at your next session if you are. You should talk to someone and get this out.

Congrats on only having 2 drains now! Continued success on your healing and best wishes to you. (((hugs)))

Yeah, what she said!

Me too - what a horrible experience...I am sending good vibes your way...

Oh Tina! I'm so sorry! How horrible! I also echo what the others have said. I'll say prayers for you that you can put this in a good place for yourself and move away from it.

Is there someone you can have go clean things up for you so you don't have to try to do it? That would help a lot, I think.

Are you still going to counseling? I would definitely bring this up at your next session if you are. You should talk to someone and get this out.

Congrats on only having 2 drains now! Continued success on your healing and best wishes to you. (((hugs)))

Ditto here as well! :thumbup:

Tina I am sorry you had such a scare! I had something very similar (scarily so) happen to me once...but from the other side.

My ex husband was extremely abusive. He too stabbed me. He chased me out of our apartment, and the way ours was situated, my quickest way out was up, I screamed and banged on doors, I just wanted someone to do what you did----get help. I did not expect anyone to confront him, or even let me in, but I had to let them know to get me help.

This has been many years ago.....and I will be totally honest with you, I thought it affected no one but us. I too laid on another stoop and bled for what seemed like forever before the EMT's got there. I watched my own blood---it was so weird, I had this thought that if it run until it dripped down over the step, I would not live, so I kept trying to push backwards---no idea why.

By this time, a man had come out--my ex had high tailed it----and he sat with me while we waited, and he pressed on one of my wounds with my own shirt. He looked so scared, it scared me! I had no idea I had the blade of the knife sticking out of my head!

I DID get his name, from the police report, and sent him a note of thank you, through the San Antonio police dept. I know not who elses doors I banged on, or even tried the knobs, I have no recollection of anything other than escape.....and my DD was in the house I left, I wanted him OUT of that house, anywhere but there. My SIL was there, and had locked him out of the house, and he never even tried to get back in, not for almost a week---then they arrested him as he tried to go back in.

I feel bad now---I never meant to scare or scar any of the people I inadvertently got involved. I honestly had not thought about that aspect, and I seriously doubt the man at your door did either.

Even having been on the other end of the scenario, I would not have attempted to get involved, or allow anyone in. I would have done the same 911----and got help on the way.

I am sorry, you are stuck with the mess, I honestly have no idea what happen with mine. It was a crime scene....I saw pics of it in court, and through the years speaking on a Victim Impact Panel working to make stiffer penalties for domestic abuse---but I was never back at our apartment. My SIL packed a couple of suitcases for my DD and I, and when I got out of the hospital, we had a police escort on the flight home. My DD was actually in protective custody at one of the other officers homes, along with our dog! When we got to the airport, they would not allow the dog crate to be purchased by a 3rd party credit card (my parents---the ex made off with my purse) and the officers who were with me, pulled money out of their own pockets and bought her a travel crate.

In my case, I would imagine the maintenance man ended up with the clean up, and that is terrible, he should never have to clean that. I know I left bloody marks on several doors for innocent people to clean. I swear to you, I am not an inconsiderate person, and I had never even given this any thought!

Not sure what was going down that you got involved in, but at least you were there to call for help for him. Had he went to another door, he might not be alive right now. Check with your Police Dept. there may be a way to have it professionally cleaned by a team who specializes in that type of clean up, and let the PD pay, or it could be filed against one of the men involved. I know there are cleaning companies who specialize in things like suicide clean up etc.

You are not the person I put in that position, and I am not the man who put you in it either----but I am still VERY sorry, that you innocently got pulled in to such a horrifying thing. And since I cannot apologize to the people I got involved, I will just apologize by proxy to you!!!!

Hang in there Tina----this just proved to you, that when it comes down to it, you can protect you and your boys. You kept your head, and called for help. The very best thing you could have done for all parties involved. Good Job!!!

Omg, Kat, I'm speechless! :thumbup:

That makes my domestic violence experience seem like child's play.

Wow Kat, I agree with Beth. Makes my domestic violence seem so much less. Like childs play. I am deeply sorry.

Thanks--I really debated saying anything, but Tina's post kind of haunted me. I was dumbfounded that I never considered the effect of my situation on the other people who were there.

Still kind of boggles my mind.....but abuse in no form is child's play.....ever.

My heart aches for you Kat, that you had to live through that, but you have obviously come out of it much better and stronger...:ohmy:

For Beth and G4E - I am glad you have also come through it stronger and better. :w00t: I don't know how I would handle it...I think I'd probably be in jail right now (I'd go psycho on him and boil his butt in some Red Devil lye and hot grits), but you just never know...

I remember witnessing a domestic abuse incident as a kid...we were sitting on my porch one hot summer night with my family, and a man and woman walking down the street were having an argument. The man started hitting the woman, and wouldn't stop even after she laid down on the ground in the fetal position trying to protect herself. She was also pregnant...my father and brother charged off the porch and across the street and hauled the man off of her while my mother rendered first aid to her (she was a nurse for more than 30 years).

My mother helped her back across the street and we called the police. My father pounded the guy and my brother watched. From that point on, we never saw the guy again (though we knew he lived in the neighborhood) and after my father passed away, the lady attended his funeral. My brother never could stand to see a man hit a woman and after that, would always confront these situations when he saw them - sometimes without regard for his own safety.

It left an impression on me - I would NEVER want to be in that situation, and I'm blessed to have never experienced it.

Tina - how are you doing? :thumbup:

Kat - What a story. I am so sorry but glad that you were able to pull through it and move on with your life.

Like many others on here, I've had my own experience with domestic violence, but nothing of this degree.

Hang tough ladies!