OK...here goes nothing. I haven't posted in quite a while because I have been dealing with some real shit at home. A month ago I found out that my husband of almost 10 years has been having an affair for the last year and a half. :mad:That's right...while I was losing weight and looking great, that pig went out seeking an affair and here I was scared of how I would act after I started to get attention from others when I started to look nice. I am hurt:crying:, angry:mad2:, sad :cry_smile:, devastated:cursing:, sick and every other emotion (other than happy). I'm now on Xanax for my anxiety and I am completely obsessed with this crap. How can someone go out seeking an affair when they have a wife and two beautiful children? Do people care anymore? Do vows mean anything? What the hell is wrong with people? Of course now all of a sudden he wants the marriage to work. Well damn...you should have thought about that before porking the skank!!!! I want to freaken scream. I want to hurt them both. How the hell do people get on after things like this happen to them? Is it possible? We are in counseling, but should I even bother? Will he do it again? What about my kids? Damn...I need some serious help. This really sucks. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of the chest pains and the anxiety. I want a fairy tale ended but unfortunately my marriage will NEVER be the same. I can never look at him the same way again. Do I give up and start my life over with my boys? Can someone wake me up from this horribe nightmare????? Why me? In the last year I have gone from a size 22/24 to a size 10/12 and I have lost 106 pounds. I thought that my husband was proud of me and thought that I was looking good...guess not, huh? Joke's on me!!!

Hey Tina,

So glad to hear that things are going your way. So do we get to see a pic of this hottie? Do tell....

Awesome that you're hotter than your stupid ex's dates. ha ha I know you have to love that.

A weeknight date, wow. I never cooked, ever, until I met DH and that was the first thing I wanted to do for him. He was sweet about it and seemed thrilled with what I made him, then and still compliments nearly every meal to this day. The ex used to make fun of my cooking (I was only 18 when we married), so I never cooked for him. DH always tells me that my ex doesn't know what he's missing out on! Gotta love that guy.

Well, enjoy yourself tonight and fill us in tomorrow!

Hi Tina!

All of this sounds WONDERFUL - and just what you deserve, darling girl! An awesome vacation, a great guy to spend some time with, you feeling confident and happy - what could be better?

Enjoy yourself - and definately keep us updated!

Omg, Tina, that is GREAT! Didn't realize you were dating! You SO deserve it.

What would be BETTER is if hottie could take YOU for a date to the same place and you bump into the ex.

Yes, I like to grind the knife when I stick it in. And then pour alcohol on the wound.

Hi everyone...just wanted to check in and give you guys an update. I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER!!!!

I am thrilled for you Tina

I went on vacation last week with my boys. We went to North Carolina and stayed with some relatives. We had a wonderful time...they are on vacation this week with their dad so I'm home by myself.

So glad that you had a good vacation.

So...while I was out of town, my ex was at a bar with a chick. My friends happened to be there and saw him...they snapped pics with their cell phone and sent it to me. I laughed...I am sooooo much hotter than her and I was just loving it (I have never said that about myself...lol).

You are smokin! So it is neat that you feel that now!

The funniest part of it...they were at the bar where my new "friend" does security (he's a bouncer there).

LOL

So...my "friend" tells me the following week that he's there again...too funny. I told him...you should kick him out...tell him no a-holes allowed. He said, are you kidding...I want to go thank him for being such an idiot...I wouldn't have you in my life if he wasn't such a loser.

:wub:You gotta love a guy who says this!

I cannot begin to tell you guys just how wonderful this man is...he was married for 13 years and has two children. He's only one year younger than me (there goes my cougar status). He has custody of his children...his wife cheated on him for the last 2 years of their marriage and she left him for her boyfriend. WOW...how much more could we have in common, right? Well...guess what...he's coming to my house tonight and I'm making him dinner. I haven't had a "date" in 14 years. I'm all giddy...Oh...did I mention that he's smokin' hot????

He sounds wonderful. You deserve to be happy. We do want pics!

Well...that's the latest on me...I'm on cloud nine right now and loving every single minute of it. I'm enjoying every little aspect of it.

Good.

I will continue to keep you guys posted on how I'm doing...without you guys I probably would have been nuts by now. Oh...that reminds me...went to my shrink yesterday and told him that I stopped taking my meds about a month ago and I think I'm doing fine...he agreed and I don't have to go back to him...so...turns out I'm not crazy after all...

Thanks you guys...you all rock!

You better keep us posted. Snoopy minds want to know!

Omg, Tina, that is GREAT! Didn't realize you were dating! You SO deserve it.

What would be BETTER is if hottie could take YOU for a date to the same place and you bump into the ex.

Yes, I like to grind the knife when I stick it in. And then pour alcohol on the wound.

What she said!

Happened to me too, 20 years ago and it still bothers me. You have to do what is right for you. If you want him to stay then let him but definitely go to counseling. If not, kick him to the curb! Children are better off living with divorced, happy parents than married, miserable ones. We worked through it and are still together but, it always nags me in my mind. Betrayal is difficult to get over if you ever do. Maybe he was afraid you would not want him anymore now that you are a new, beautiful you and he needed to seek validation elsewhere. He may have needed to see if he was attractive too.

Here is something I have just recently learned and I am going to be 50 in 6 days.....forgive him. I'm still working on it obviously.If you forgive him it puts all of the onus on him. You will release yourself emotionally from the burden and he wiill have to carry ALL of it. Forgiving does NOT mean forgetting or becoming a doormat, it's just saying you did the wrong now you have to deal with it because I will not pollute my soul by carrying this ugly thing around within me every day...I am done with it because I forgive you but you have to live with it every day now, you did the wrong, you suffer, not me.

I always thought forgiving was absolving the other person of the wrongdoing and that I would never forgive but it's really about letting the ugliness go and realizing you had nothing to do with it. It's a gift to yourself.

Edited August 5, 200917 yr by petrafarmer

Hi everyone. Right now I'm at my wits ends. My family has totally turned against me...views me as a failure (among other not so nice names). My brother came after me like a raging maniac on Sunday...screaming and cussing at me...I tell ya...what a life I lead. My ex is NO help to me whatsoever and I'm on the verge of cracking.

The good things in my life right now...this board so I can unload and my wonderful, loving friends. The man in my life is beyond wonderful and I can't believe just how great he is being to me...he was sent to me at the absolute perfect time in my life. Without him and my friends I would be in a shell again.

Right now I just want to scream...my ex has gone off the deep end and I'm ready to beat the crap out of him. I can't even say any more right now because I'm gonna lose it.

Thanks for being an avenue for me to vent. I truly appreciate each one of you.

Hi Tina!

Hi everyone. Right now I'm at my wits ends. My family has totally turned against me...views me as a failure (among other not so nice names). My brother came after me like a raging maniac on Sunday...screaming and cussing at me...I tell ya...what a life I lead. My ex is NO help to me whatsoever and I'm on the verge of cracking.

What is their collective problem? Are they upset because you have so drastically changed your life and stopped putting up with crap, and now you're happy? I just don't get it...you are NOT a failure - in fact, you are a success because you took your life into YOUR hands and you're doing great!

Tell your brother if he can't speak to you in a respectful tone and honor your decisions as an ADULT, then you'll have to limit your contact with him...NO ONE deserves that...:sad:

The good things in my life right now...this board so I can unload and my wonderful, loving friends. The man in my life is beyond wonderful and I can't believe just how great he is being to me...he was sent to me at the absolute perfect time in my life. Without him and my friends I would be in a shell again.

Don't go back into that shell, girlfriend...we here on your thread know what you've been through and you are the VICTOR!

Right now I just want to scream...my ex has gone off the deep end and I'm ready to beat the crap out of him. I can't even say any more right now because I'm gonna lose it.

I'm so sorry you're going through this...(((((hugs)))))

Thanks for being an avenue for me to vent. I truly appreciate each one of you.

I hope you find peace again soon, Tina...try to get this stuff off your mind and move on. I know it's hard, but...

I'm angry on your behalf...how DARE they?:biggrin:

tina

sorry to hear your so stressed out, but you are a different person,they need to get use to it ,we work so hard to get to were we are now so don/t worry hon,we are here for you larry

Oh my gosh! The nerve!!

I want to ditto what Ebony said!

Take care and lots of hugs!

So...after the horrible weekend that I had...went home yesterday only to find my dog died. She was a Siberian Husky and her name was Denali. I have had her for 9 years. I adopted her when she was four. I got her from a rescue. My other husky is so lonely. I'm so sad...

Tina, so sorry to hear about the dog and what horrible timing.

Try to focus on the possitive things in your life and don't let the negative swallow you up.

What's going on with your family? I know whenever mine is angry with me, they somehow blame my weight. They say I'm different now, etc. They are most annoyed when I'm jogging, seriously? Are these the people who should want me to be healthy?

Anyway, we're here if/when you're ready to chat.

Is your brother perhaps, or even members of the family, still overweight??

I would like to blame that, but in my own experience, it has been those that have never battled weight who seem to have attitude over my loss. It is not people who would see me as "competition", they just seem condescending in their attitude to me now, like I am a lesser person.

People can be so wierd!

I would just stay away. I know they are family, but is that the attitude you really want your boys being raised seeing? Make your own support family away from them.

As for the ex, there is not a lot you can do without having a boatload of money for attorneys! Just try to discuss things with the kids about the emotions behind certain actions, and how they are not accepted at home. And stress to them if they ever feel unsafe with him, they can call you OR 911. ANYTIME! Even if they are just scared, if nothing is happening but they are scared there, they can call for help.

Good Luck.

So...after the horrible weekend that I had...went home yesterday only to find my dog died. She was a Siberian Husky and her name was Denali. I have had her for 9 years. I adopted her when she was four. I got her from a rescue. My other husky is so lonely. I'm so sad...

Good morning Tina,

I'm so sorry to hear about Denali - it is so hard to lose a good friend and member of the family. I feel for your other husky, too...

Hang in there, sweetheart...give yourself time to grieve for Denali, try to stay away from negative people (in all forms), and take care of yourself and your children.

We are here for you, Tina...

Oh Tina, I'm so sorry about Denali!

(((hugs)))

So...after the horrible weekend that I had...went home yesterday only to find my dog died. She was a Siberian Husky and her name was Denali. I have had her for 9 years. I adopted her when she was four. I got her from a rescue. My other husky is so lonely. I'm so sad...:confused:

Oh, Tina, I'm SOOO sorry! I've been away for about a week and just read your updates. I don't know what's going on with your family, which sounds bad enough, but now your dog? :drool: