My youngest daughter just got married this past June of 2004. My son in law Jeremy is like a son to me. His brother, Jacob 19 has a beautiful girlfriend named Amber also 19.

I received new this morning that Amber was in a car wreck last night and was killed instantly. She was driving back to her college dorm with her best friend, Elena also 19, when the tire blew out and they hit a tree head on. Both were killed instantly. It will be a closed casket as she was unrecognizable.

As if that wasn't horrible enough, Jacob had just proposed to Amber and they had set a date. The rest of the family did not know yet. They were planning to tell them this weekend.

I had met Amber when my daughter Erin got marred in June. Amber went to the bachlorette party with us and she was a sweet and beautiful girl. The whole town of Lake Wales, FLorida is devastated. Both girls were very well known. I am heartsick for both families of the girls and for Jacob as well. He is in shock and destroyed.

Keep them in your prayers.

Life is so short sometimes. Isn't it?

I'm so sorry about your loss.

Hi Penni,

THis is such a tragedy. Jacob will need therapy and should get to someone as soon as possible to help him with his grief. My husbands best friends had a girlfriend in college that died in a car accident. Doug (the best friend) was devastated since they were to be married also. I know DOug very well and it took it many many years to get over the tragedy. As far as I know, he did not have another real relationship during his 20's for fear of intimacy and loss. Doug finally got married (at age 40) to a lovely woman named Christie. It is my belief that Doug remained single for so long because of his fear of loss. So sad when people die young.... I am really sorry for the loss.

Babs in TX

What sad news. I wish the best for Jacob and the girls' families as they grieve.

What a heartbreaking tragedy. I thinks Babs advice is right on the money - grief couseling is definitely in order for all involved.

Penni,

Sorry to hear about the tragedy. Such young lives gone too fast.

Penni, I am so sorry for your loss. Your post hit home for me, in 1985 my 22yr old brother was killed in a car accident. He was the youngest of the family, it was 8 months prior to my wedding. I will say a prayer for everyone involved that they find the strength the need.

OMG Penni!! I don't even know what to say....such a young age. They will all be in my thoughts and prayers. My condolences to you and your family also.

Thank you so much for all your kind words. I have spoken to Jeremy (son in law) and he says Jacob, his brother, is walking around in a daze carrying the teddy bear he gave to Amber, his girlfriend that died, the day she left for college. Amber's mother is breaking down then being normal. Amber was an only child.

I have suggested the counselor to Jeremy for Jacob and he said he would pass along the suggestion. My daughter, Erin, is coping as well. She calls me to talk about it and we work through it. Jeremy talks to me as well. I think they will be fine and get through this. The person I am concerned about is Jacob. He typically is a quiet and withdrawn person and Jeremy says he is very animated now. He is not coping well in my opinion. SIGH!!

I told Jeremy that if his brother wants to talk to someone outside of the family just to listen then I would be happy to do that. If he isn't comfortable talking to me then he needs to talk to someone. So we will see.

Keep them in your prayers or thoughts or whatever. LOL!!

HUGS

UPDATE: Funeral was yesterday. I called my daughter to check up on all of them. Jacob was there and he was laughing in the background. Erin, my daughter, said he was doing OK. He would be fine one minute then he would be bawling his eyes out the next. But for the most part he seems to be doing OK. He buried the stuffed animal with Amber. I think that was so sweet.

After all the services were done and everyone went their separate ways, Erin suggested they all return to the gravesite and have a special private moment their with her friends and Jacob. I think that was the smartest thing they could have done. Erin said Jacob was much better after they did that. He was more calm and seemed to accept it more. I have a smart daughter.

She is adjusting as well to the loss. Her voice sounds brighter and better. I get a sense of acceptance when I talk with her now that wasn't there before.

Thank you all again for the expressions of sympathy and concern.

HUGS to you all.

Penni I hope everyone continues to cope with this and be able to move on and be okay. It will just take time and they will never forget but it will get easier. You are doing the right thing by just being there for all of them and your suport means alot in a time like this it is nice to know someone cares. You are all still in my thoughts and prayers!!!!

Oh Penni, what a heart break. my most sincere condolences

Penni - how is Jacob doing now that he's had some time?

Penni....

My deepest sympathies to you and your family.....I know it has been awhile, but a tragedy like this does linger in the heart forever.....

May God comfort them. Uhh how sad.

John and I video taped Erin's wedding and when we were looking at the footage not too long ago we ran across a scene that made me just burst into tears. IT was of Jacob and Amber dancing to "One more day". I don't know the singer but the song was precious. So John and I decided to take that section of the wedding reception and make a separate DVD for Amber's family and Jacob. They are dancing and kissing and at the end Jacob picks her up and twirls her around. SO precious.

I got a really sweet email from Jacob and Amber's parents saying it helped them with the healing. I was again brought to tears.

They are all healing and it is getting easier.

Thank you all for asking,.