How has the band fit into your dating life?

I am worried about the first dinner and when to bring it up!

Any thoughts?

My port is just above the waist and sticks up and moves, someone said to tell them i had a hernia operation and there is some scar tissue there, that is from the meshing that was put in there, does that sound feasible????? it is just on my waist line on left hand side?? havent been intimate yet due to this???????:tongue:

I am with u nat- only my family knows and a few best friends- I probably wont mention it until I am really comfortable. My best friend's husband thinks I should bring it up right away or its deceitful, well i say poo on that- no one empties out their closet of personal stuff on a first date- he is whack

ps. i like phatnat better!

get to know someone well first. as you grow on each other, its then okay to start 'sharing' a bit more about each other.

yep... agreed

:thumbup:Hey everyone! I'm a single woman getting ready to be banded in the early fall....just wanted to introduce myself before I started leaving responses...i really like this thread (from what i've seen) so far. Glad someone started it!

I'll be interested to see how the dating scene goes after being banded....

Barbie

My port is just above the waist and sticks up and moves, someone said to tell them i had a hernia operation and there is some scar tissue there, that is from the meshing that was put in there, does that sound feasible????? it is just on my waist line on left hand side?? havent been intimate yet due to this???????

Question: If this gets more serious... how long do you keep this story going?

A friend of mine asked me if I was going to tell people or hide it and I said I was going to tell people. It's not about focusing on my weight, but it's a part of me from now on. It's not a communicable disease, it's a healther you.

This is you and you deserve respect and support. Don't hide it; embrace it, carry it as a badge of honor, be proud of it.

ps - off topic - barbie: love the ticker and the goal celebration. =) I made mine this morning, and then saw yours. Fabulous!

Edited May 9, 200818 yr by FeliciaLevy75
PS to barbie...

thanks! I thought it was fitting....that cruise is my dream!

I know some people have a hard time telling people about their band, but I find myself telling everyone! I am so excited about my weight loss that I just can't keep my mouth shut about it. Am I wierd? Maybe people don't really want to hear about it? I am single too, but wouldn't mind dating. Maybe I should not talk about with someone I first meet.

Hi,

I'm joining in this discussion too. I like to hear the different opinions - It sure is true - your milage may vary. I tell everyone - even the strangers at my table at the Japanese Steak House today. But I haven't had a date in years. I thought it was the weight (340 down to 252 now so I'm getting into the "normal" range again.) But now maybe it is me. I'm giving it another 50 pounds or so and then I'll put a full court press on dating again.

I do

oh i know it's totally me...i've always been too self conscious to date. I've had a few "start of something's" here and there...but nothing serious. And it's always been me. I just always thought that no one would want to date the big girl so I just put it out of my head....and got tired of hearing "why dont' you have a boyfriend? You're so pretty"...blah blah blah....however i've just finally admitted that it's been all me...denial didn't do me any good...

I"ve told most people that i'm having lap band. Some people i'd just rather not tell until after I have it. People that i'm not close with...I just think it's personal preference. I only think it becomes an issue if you lie about it...

I'm looking at this from two angles. I'll be banded in three weeks, so I'm thinking of how I will handle it.

But, I also went out with a guy once who was banded. He told me over dinner. And it didn't phase me. It was when he started discussing the loose flabby skin he had because of the procedure, when I got totally turned off.

That was waaayyy too much information on a first (and ultimately) last date.

In retrospect, he was having problems dealing with his new status. In fact, he asked another girl out when I went to the restroom. She told me when she was hugging me goodbye and I had to laugh.

It was one of the more douchier moves I've seen on a date.

I get asked out a lot. Getting a date now is almost too easy, however there are things that are keeping me single.

If a guy puts someone down for being overweight it is a no go.

When I try to explain that I was overweight and your only response is do you think you will get that fat again, its a no go.

Then of course there is me. I had always been overweight, I have excess skin (have had a tummy tuck, but want a couple of other tweaks) and that still carries as such an insecurity for me. Almost like I will block getting close to someone to prevent having to reach intimacy. Because as we all know we may look fabulous in clothes and have saggy everything outside of them. OY

I think I am going to start a WLS dating group, lol

I'm only about a week post op... but I've felt comfortable enough to tell anyone who asks what I'm doing. Taking the initiative to get healthy and lose weight is something to be proud of, well I am at least. Most people I've talked with about it have been incredibly supportive, despite the fact that they don't really understand how it all works. I understand the fear that someone might find your band weird, or worse think that you had no self-control and that's why you needed a medical intervention... but frankly, I don't think I'd want to be with someone (friends, romantically or otherwise) who would judge me based on being banded. I guess I'm just giving everyone the benefit of the doubt; people can't be supportive or understanding of your band if you never give them the opportunity.

Good morning Guys;

I think its an individual choice. I actually told a friend that I thought that I wouldn't tell and I wasn't the bit least embarrassed. I even told him, I was getting a tummy tuck. Lololololololololol:ohmy:

To all u singles out there y r u scared to tell. I'm a guy and I'm so happy to hear that people is having some kind of surgery done to better themselves. U shouldn't be ashamed that your doing something to better your self be proud tell every one let other people be apart of your happiness

To all u singles out there y r u scared to tell. I'm a guy and I'm so happy to hear that people is having some kind of surgery done to better themselves. U shouldn't be ashamed that your doing something to better your self be proud tell every one let other people be apart of your happiness

I will tell you exactly why I am scared to tell that I have the band. I was married for 12 years, got a divorce almost 2 years ago. Got my band almost a year ago. I am now down almost 70 lbs. I started dating just a few months ago. I am a VERY open and honest person and the guy questioned why I didnt eat very much at lunch. I explained that I have a band, and he couldnt leave the restaurant fast enough. That happened on the second or third date that I went on when I decided to start dating. I can look now and say....his loss, but at the time it was hard. When you have been heavy so long, you dont have the self esteem and to have someone do that to you, knocks you down even more. I wish I could find someone that understands, but now I just dont mention it. I have been dating a guy for 3 months now, he still does not know....but he does tease me about how little I eat. (and teases me alot, sometimes to the point of being hurtful). I dont need/want that either...so hes about ready to be kicked to the curb and wait for the right guy to come along that understands and accepts me for me.