How has the band fit into your dating life?

I am worried about the first dinner and when to bring it up!

Any thoughts?

I have been up front about it with every guy that I've dated since banding. If they don't like it then they can beat it!

missy-

have you had any negative reactions?

Nope. Not unless they thought it in their head and didn't say anything. But I've dated more guys in the past year then in my whole lifetime. Funny how things change when you lose a couple of pounds. :biggrin:

I havent really told many people. My mother has told the whole western world. Its not that I am embarrassed about it. I just don't want to have to deal with judgements about it. Also, the people who my mom told, see me and say "How much did you lose" and I am not becoming a size 2 overnight! The only thing that gives it away is the scars all over my stomach. I told one guy I was dating because I was sure he saw the scars and I didn't want him to think there was something horribly wrong with me. He didn't like that i had it. I would really love to get scar revision of the big scar (where the port was inserted). The little ones seem to be getting smaller but the big one isnt going away. I really think you shouldn't hide it but also you don't have to tell everyone, in that it is a personal decision and you don't want to have to deal with judgements.

How has the band fit into your dating life?

I am worried about the first dinner and when to bring it up!

Any thoughts?

bergdorf-

my mother too seems to think it is okay to discuss with everyone- luckily she lives far away!!!

I got up the courage to ask out this cute cop the other day, but then I booked before giving him my number... .guess I still have some work to do!

Hi Bergdorf:

Did the guy who didn't like that you got the band have any other suggestions on losing more than 100 pounds? Does he prefer Type II Diabetes, GERD, Hypertension, etc.

One of my favorite mantras is: "What comes out of their mouths is about them. What comes out of my mouth is about me." I would be curious to know what kinda baggage that guy is dragging around if he is not supportive of the most effective weight loss technique that is researched by the medical community.

Good luck with dating - it's a battlefield. :confused:

id tell them straight away i dont see a point in hiding it, there going to find out any way if there a longer term thing, if u didnt tell them they might be offened u ddnt tell them.. i duno each to there own but im with telling them not stright off the bat but after a few weeks... scars who cares..lol guys dont see scars when there doing ther thing.. mind set on 1 thing haha

Ok so Im single, about a year post band and not currently dating anyone..

when you do start to date though, there is a time and place to mention things. You dont generally discuss your sexual past on the first date, or whether or not you want children right? what I am trying to say there is a time and place for everything in a relationship. Usually if a comment is made about how little I eat, and I am not quite comfortable telling the guy that I had a band, I tell them I am on a diet, which is true, because a diet restricts what you eat and how much, as does my band. As for the scars, well honestly most men have better things to do then notice a few small scars on my stomach, they better find something else on me more interesting!:cursing: lol

Case & point- I met a guy from another country last year when he was here for work, I was extremely attracted to him, but we were only friends, this year after he came back again and saw me, a relationship did develop. He was around when my band or eating habits were brought up by my family, but was secure enough in our relationship not to ask too many questions until I was ready to tell him, so he knew, but didnt know. O and he never even noticed any scars :tongue:

I have no problem mentioning it if we're going to dinner. I am more distressed by the constant henpecking by the waitstaff - "Is everything ok? Did you not like the meal?" rather than the person I'm with.

Like missy said - if they don't like it, they can KMA. They're not the right person for me. The guy i'm looking for will think me brave and motivated and successful for doing what was necessary to save my life.

i just went on my first post band date and i dont think i handled it well at all... hopefully there will be a second

I am six years out and here is what I have noticed...

a) most feel to uncomfy heavy to date so they want to lose weight

:shades_smile: once you lose weight you feel uncomfy in your body and want plastic surgery to get rid of the skin

c) after plastic you worry about the extent of your scars and if anyone will notice them.

As for dating banded, I tell some I don't tell others... it depends there is no rhyme or reason it is a comfort level for me. I have never had anyone react badly and run away saying you were what you did what.

It is what it is and most people are pretty accepting of it. To the rest that I don't tell they assume I am just a very light eater.

Heather

well I got close to telling one dude and i am glad i didnt (although he tries to guess) because he is a blabbermouth and as luck would have it he knows people where i work, and he loves to tell everyone about me for some odd reason. (this is probably a good thing)

it is too small a world i tell you!! I really really dont want people at work knowing, that is my personal preference and i would like to keep it that way.

I have been seeing a new guy and the other night he touched my big scar and said "What's that?" I told him I had gallbladder surgery. My friend had gallbladder surgery and has the same laproscopic scars that bandsters have. I like saying this because its very self explanatory and you don't have to deal with the barrage of follow up questions and judgements.

I haven't been banded yet, but I was wondering the other day how you deal with the extra skin issue in the bedroom? Or do most of you have plastic surgery?

i havent lost enough for this to be an issue- but if it ever is I will def get PS.