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Does anyone else go to buy clothes and still want to buy your starting weight size? It’s hard for me to comprehend I have to buy smaller sizes now. I went from a size 5x/30 to a size XL/14, and I still look at the plus size section. My husband is forever saying "honey, you're not in those sizes anymore" and guides me back over to the regular section. Anyone else have this issue? And if so, when does it get better?

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[[I'm not in this situation yet (early on in my journey, 3 sizes down so far)... but hey, isn't that a WONDERFUL correction to have to make every time? Like, "OOPS, I did it again!" LOL, I feel like it would be a cheery thing to go through each time. Heck, go try on one of those 5x shirts you pick up and ooh-and-ahh over how awesomely you've done working at this. ❤️❤️❤️ ]]

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ALWAYS!! I bought a swimsuit on Amazon. I opened the package and looked at the swimsuit and told myself this is way too small why did I buy this? Nope slipped it right on! For reference I went from a 2x (18/20) to a M bottoms and 2/3x to M top. So I struggle to see that I can fit certain things. I go to the store I immediately go to the plus size section and my BF tells me the same thing, "are you sure this will fit you? it looks too big"

Its a bizzare feeling!

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Posted (edited)

There are times I look in the mirror and I love what I see. And there are other times I still see 421 pounds. I struggle so much with that. And clothing shopping just makes it all weird lol I have so many more really cute options now, but I never remember that. I just head to the plus size section until I'm corrected.

Edited by SleeveToBypass2023

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I'm pretty much shopping exclusively at Goodwill right now, not sure where this trip will end and I keep outpacing all my new stuff. For me, it hits when I'm folding my laundry, all my clothes are so much smaller, it's weird. I go in looking at my current size and feel like I don't belong there.

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Posted (edited)

9 hours ago, Lily2024 said:

I'm pretty much shopping exclusively at Goodwill right now, not sure where this trip will end and I keep outpacing all my new stuff. For me, it hits when I'm folding my laundry, all my clothes are so much smaller, it's weird. I go in looking at my current size and feel like I don't belong there.

SAME!!! This is exactly me right now. Almost like having imposter syndrome. I bought a pair of green Calvin Klein capris in size 14, with no give, no elastic, no stretch at all anywhere. They weren't fitting yet (mostly in the stomach area, pre-hysterectomy), so I kind of hid them in the back of the closet.

Today I pulled them out and tried them on and OMG they fit PERFECTLY!!! I actually cried. I got them at our local thrift store here called The Arc (it's my favorite and I love it so much) and just never had the chance to wear them until literally right now. I am still shocked that I'm in an actual, legit size 14. I was a size 30 at my highest weight, and this just absolutely BLOWS MY MIND.

I had to clean out my closet AGAIN and get rid of the size 18 and 16 stuff and the last of my 2x tops (they're listed on Facebook Marketplace). I suspect once I get my skin surgeries and Tummy Tuck, I'll be in a size 12. HOW is this my life now???? lol

Edited by SleeveToBypass2023

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i dunno. its just a matter of time i think.

ive been this smaller size for over five years now, and there are still times when i reach for the size i KNOW i am but think, there is no way im fitting into this. but i always do.

i was obese for about 15 years, so i figure if i can still be weird about my weight after all this time, its not unthinkable for those who were overweight longer to feel the same.

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As @ms.sss said it’s a matter of time. In the meantime the body dysmorphia is real. Being unable to recognize yourself. Being unable to visualize your actual physical size. Seeing yourself as you were & not as you are. Being unable to equate your weight loss with the reduction of your physical size. And simply not believing you are smaller.

Told these stories before but I remember seeing a reflection in a shop window of a woman wearing the same outfit as me. Wish I looked as good as her I thought then realised it was me. Was trying on some shoes & looking in those small, low mirrors they have in shoe shops. Oh, that lady has great legs & turned round to compliment her but there wasn’t another woman. It was me.

And yes there are still the odd times I catch a side view in a mirror & there’s that little jolt when I realise it’s me. Oh that’s right, this is how I look now.

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18 hours ago, Lily2024 said:

For me, it hits when I'm folding my laundry, all my clothes are so much smaller, it's weird.

an NSV in the same vein:

vacation packing is soooooo much more satisfying. our smaller clothes take up way less room so we can either:

(a) bring more clothes, yay! no need to pick and choose, just bring it all!!

OR

(b) bring smaller luggage, yay again! i have been on many vacations now (several of them for 2 weeks or longer) where i only needed a carry on for my stuff. Win!

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I definitely have body dysmorphia. There's times when I look in the mirror and still see 421 pounds. No matter what I do, I just can't see where I'm at now. It goes as far as me thinking people who tell me I look great and they're proud of me, I think they're just BSing me and saying what I want to hear, even though I'm still huge. My husband kept one of my size 10 rings and size 30 outfits and when it gets really bad, he has me try to put them on. Obviously, they don't fit and it kind of snaps me out of it. I hope at least that part of it goes away sooner rather than later. I can hike 10 miles. I can do major work outs. I can shop in NON plus size sections in any store. I can live my life, yet out of nowhere, my brain will misfire or something and set me back because I'll go in my closet or drawers and wonder who the hell stole my clothes and replaced them with someone else's. It's such a mind eff sometimes.

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And it drives me nuts because my mom says things like "You just have to stop. You know you did the work and lost the weight, so just stop." Like...Ok, sure. I'll just quit. No problem. Thanks, mom 🙄

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6 hours ago, SleeveToBypass2023 said:

And it drives me nuts because my mom says things like "You just have to stop. You know you did the work and lost the weight, so just stop." Like...Ok, sure. I'll just quit. No problem. Thanks, mom 🙄

I feel like most of us have mental health issues prior to WLS -- related to the weight gain in the first place, and the body dysmorphia that so easily comes along with life as a 'non-standard' size. I'm not surprised at all that many of us continue to struggle with both things during/after weight loss. People that haven't had a similar life might struggle to understand. Anyone who tells someone to "just get over it" or "just get passed it" in regards to any mental health issue is flat out not helping -- whether that's because they can't empathize with the struggle directly, or something else.

I've been doing a lot of personal work on 'boundaries' lately. Just want to remind everyone that it's okay to remind someone that what they're saying is not very compassionate. It doesn't have to be a fight or an attack against them, even a simple "Yeah, that's really not a helpful thing to say but thanks for the effort, I guess?" might have them re-think their own words. They don't owe us support -- nobody owes anybody, really -- but we're all humans and deserve basic compassion rather than dismissal.

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5 hours ago, JennyBeez said:

I feel like most of us have mental health issues prior to WLS -- related to the weight gain in the first place, and the body dysmorphia that so easily comes along with life as a 'non-standard' size. I'm not surprised at all that many of us continue to struggle with both things during/after weight loss. People that haven't had a similar life might struggle to understand. Anyone who tells someone to "just get over it" or "just get passed it" in regards to any mental health issue is flat out not helping -- whether that's because they can't empathize with the struggle directly, or something else.

I've been doing a lot of personal work on 'boundaries' lately. Just want to remind everyone that it's okay to remind someone that what they're saying is not very compassionate. It doesn't have to be a fight or an attack against them, even a simple "Yeah, that's really not a helpful thing to say but thanks for the effort, I guess?" might have them re-think their own words. They don't owe us support -- nobody owes anybody, really -- but we're all humans and deserve basic compassion rather than dismissal.

I love every single bit of this post, thank you :)

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8 hours ago, JennyBeez said:

I feel like most of us have mental health issues prior to WLS -- related to the weight gain in the first place, and the body dysmorphia that so easily comes along with life as a 'non-standard' size.

food for thought: do we have metal issues because we are overweight? or are we overweight because we have mental issues?

i sometimes think is one way and then other times the other...

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9 hours ago, ms.sss said:

food for thought: do we have metal issues because we are overweight? or are we overweight because we have mental issues?

i sometimes think is one way and then other times the other...

Honestly, I think both? It can become a vicious cycle where you can't even find the 'root' problem anymore.

For me, how I got to my heaviest weight was due to my problems feeding unto each other (no pun intended). I was overweight for the nth time in my life, and had always struggled with both weight and depression. My anxiety about being judged / out in public kept me homebound (and morphed into agoraphobia). Being homebound and anxious made me more depressed and judgmental about myself, which I punished / soothed with food. I gained more weight, and was more depressed and anxious and made it harder to go out and function in public.

Early on in my "mental health" journey, I had a psychiatrist that was determined to find The Root Cause of my depression and anxiety. It wasn't until decades later that more MH professionals seemed to acknowledge (to me, anyway) that sometimes there's no one trigger or root cause-- sometimes its how several smaller issues fall together, like a series of unfortunate events.

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