I just had surgery right after new year's and I haven't told any of my family yet. I typically see them about once a month and call/text at least 3+ times a week. I'm not sure if it's because I wore pullovers and pants, but they haven't noticed anything different.

On the other hand, my boyfriend knows I had surgery, sees me everyday, and tells me how much/what changed all the time. His co-workers also know (I see them a few times a yr) and they said they could hardly recognize me.

I don't know what to make of this... I'm about 2 months post op and down about 45lbs. Personally I can see a noticeable difference from my waist down, but I think other than that I look about the same. Although shirts are fitting me a bit different.

So I was wondering, who was the first to notice any changes after your surgery and who was the last?

First was at week 5. I had returned to work in a new area where an old work friend was based. I’d lost a good 10kgs (22 odd lbs) so noticeable. She’d known me from thin to obese & up & down so knew of my battles. She hugged me in welcome on my first day & then whispered I was looking good. I told her a few days later. She offered no judgement just good wishes. Everyone in that section knew I’d recently had a surgery but not what. Most presumed it was a ‘female surgery’ (it was a largely male section) & I didn’t correct them. I remember her reaction so well because on the last day of my contract (about 8 weeks later), they organised a farewell/thank you morning tea for me. Lots of sticky buns, cakes, etc. She whisperered she’d made sure there was some cheese & crudités so I could have a little bite of something & not feel uncomfortable. Such a considerate thing to do & all without fuss.

Can’t recall who was last to notice I was losing weight.

Sometimes people don’t say anything because they’re unsure how you’ll react or don’t want you to think they watching how successful you are or will be. Or if the don’t know worry you are unwell & again don’t want to broach the subject with you. So they say nothing. Your boyfriend is likely trying to be super supportive & nothing more.

Depending on how much you were when you started, it can take a little while to really notice a change. For me, that 10kgs was almost a dress size, but because I wore a lot of loose, or elastic waisted clothing, my loss was sort of hidden.

Gave you been taking photos or taking body measurements (weekly or monthly)? Sometimes the changes can be seen more easily that way than just in a mirror (body dysmorphia can blind us to the truth sometimes) or when pulling on your pants (until they fall down of course ?).

Congratulations on your loss so far.

Edited March 9, 20242 yr by Arabesque

it was probably 3 or 4 months for me, but I started out at over 300 lbs. It was probably more like five months before a LOT of people started noticing. But then at that weight, I just looked huge no matter what - people wouldn't necessarily notice a 40 or 50 lb difference (plus I also wore baggy clothes at that weight, so that probably factored in, too)

I've lost over 60 lbs since I started this journey, 26 since surgery, and I've gotten very few comments. That surprised me until I realized the same things everyone else has posted: People are nervous to bring it up, not sure if it's appropriate, etc. I see it in their faces though, it's definitely noticeable, but I tend to just forge ahead as if nothing has changed and most people just go with that.

My husband comments regularly, he loves the changes and even more, he loves the change in my self esteem.

Edited March 9, 20242 yr by Lily2024

first time someone outside my home said something to me UNSOLICITED was around 3 months (was down maybe 50-60 lbs by then).

mind you i asked my Mr. and Daughter like every week, lol. they did say "yes" to my constant pestering around week 2 or 3, and i was down probably 20-30 lbs by then (but this includes the 11 lbs i lost during the 2 week liquid pre-op diet).

don't forget that there are folks who consider it impolite to ask or comment about someone's weight (i wish there were more of these types of people!), so while you may not get stuff SAID to you directly, they may be THINKING it.

22 hours ago, Arabesque said:

First was at week 5. I had returned to work in a new area where an old work friend was based. I’d lost a good 10kgs (22 odd lbs) so noticeable. She’d known me from thin to obese & up & down so knew of my battles. She hugged me in welcome on my first day & then whispered I was looking good. I told her a few days later. She offered no judgement just good wishes. Everyone in that section knew I’d recently had a surgery but not what. Most presumed it was a ‘female surgery’ (it was a largely male section) & I didn’t correct them. I remember her reaction so well because on the last day of my contract (about 8 weeks later), they organised a farewell/thank you morning tea for me. Lots of sticky Buns, cakes, etc. She whisperered she’d made sure there was some cheese & crudités so I could have a little bite of something & not feel uncomfortable. Such a considerate thing to do & all without fuss.

Can’t recall who was last to notice I was losing weight.

Sometimes people don’t say anything because they’re unsure how you’ll react or don’t want you to think they watching how successful you are or will be. Or if the don’t know worry you are unwell & again don’t want to broach the subject with you. So they say nothing. Your boyfriend is likely trying to be super supportive & nothing more.

Depending on how much you were when you started, it can take a little while to really notice a change. For me, that 10kgs was almost a dress size, but because I wore a lot of loose, or elastic waisted clothing, my loss was sort of hidden.

Gave you been taking photos or taking body measurements (weekly or monthly)? Sometimes the changes can be seen more easily that way than just in a mirror (body dysmorphia can blind us to the truth sometimes) or when pulling on your pants (until they fall down of course ?).

Congratulations on your loss so far.

That was sweet of her, I hope you guys kept in touch. I mean even if my bf doesn't say anything, I ask him things like if this changed or is that is noticeable, ect. I've already landed myself back in the hospital once due to critically low potassium and the symptoms I had were obvious. So now I'm trying to be more aware so I can spot signs earlier. But yeah I do have to keep in mind that it could seem rude to say something without me bringing it up first. I just saw my therapist and after I said I had surgery, she said I could tell by your collarbones (its a televisit so the view is just to mid shoulder).

You're so right about the body dysmorphia! I'm trying to find a balance between: not being obsessive about how much or quickly I'm losing and remembering to appreciate even the smallest change. I've never really taken pics or measurements even prior to surgery, but I did buy this body fat scale I saw another bariatric patient suggest. I am taking the information with a grain of salt, but it is satisfying to see the numbers trend downwards. Aside from that, it is strange to have to tighten my shorts and be able to wear shirts that are a size smaller.

I don't want to celebrate too early then hit a stall/weight gain and spiral. But the idea of being able to wear that one dress that's been sitting in my closet?? Talk about a dream come true! Did you go out and strut when you got to that point?

12 hours ago, catwoman7 said:

it was probably 3 or 4 months for me, but I started out at over 300 lbs. It was probably more like five months before a LOT of people started noticing. But then at that weight, I just looked huge no matter what - people wouldn't necessarily notice a 40 or 50 lb difference (plus I also wore baggy clothes at that weight, so that probably factored in, too)

I used to wear a lot of long skirts and fitted tops, then my wardrobe descended into tshirts and shorts that my brother or bf outgrew. Did you notice the baggy clothes seemed longer after you lost weight? Idk if it's because I'm wearing men's sizes/clothes or I'm just overthinking it.

On 3/9/2024 at 1:53 PM, Lily2024 said:

I've lost over 60 lbs since I started this journey, 26 since surgery, and I've gotten very few comments. That surprised me until I realized the same things everyone else has posted: People are nervous to bring it up, not sure if it's appropriate, etc. I see it in their faces though, it's definitely noticeable, but I tend to just forge ahead as if nothing has changed and most people just go with that.

My husband comments regularly, he loves the changes and even more, he loves the change in my self esteem.

Oh we had our surgeries about the same time and i had to stay for an extra day too due to complications. Congrats on 60 lbs!

Well i'm asian and while asians are known to be pretty quiet, when it comes to weight- they don't hesitate to comment. Whether it's your family, friend of the family, distant relative, or someone they've seen a few times at the store. They call you over for dinner and when you've finished, they tell you you're fat and pack up all the leftovers for you to take home. (Say no all you want, it's gonna happen anyway). That being said it's kind of concerning that they haven't said anything at all.

I don't go out much so it's mostly dr's visits and they've noticed and said something right away. So i have a weird sample size. But i have to see i dont really take any comments to heart, i just wanted to see if anyone could tell and it's kind of a mixed bag atm..

On 3/13/2024 at 4:18 AM, Clueless_girl said:

Well i'm asian and while asians are known to be pretty quiet, when it comes to weight- they don't hesitate to comment. Whether it's your family, friend of the family, distant relative, or someone they've seen a few times at the store. They call you over for dinner and when you've finished, they tell you you're fat and pack up all the leftovers for you to take home. (Say no all you want, it's gonna happen anyway). That being said it's kind of concerning that they haven't said anything at all.

My partner is Chinese and their family ALWAYS did this when we lived close to them!! They'd discuss their weight right at the dinner table, comment on how they needed to lose weight and were getting fat, then pass the dishes over for them to finish and send the leftovers home with us! Made me SOOOO pissed off. ?

Those close to me noticed first. My doctors were almost in tears that the surgery has been working so well! It was really sweet to see. I take pictures once a month on the 1st of the month and take measurements then too, because I wanted to be able to track for myself what was changing. It was really cool to see how my posture has changed. I keep taking pics in the same outfit and it is so weird to see the shirt getting longer even though I know the shirt isn't getting longer. LOL

I saw my family at Christmas. They live several states away. I recently sent them a full body pic and they were shocked and excited for me because it was pretty clear I've lost weight and my shape is changing. Today I passed my 50% mark towards my goal weight!! I've officially lost 76 lbs since my highest weight (320) and 63 lbs since my surgery weight (307). It just feels so unreal to me...

On 3/19/2024 at 8:10 PM, ChunkCat said:

My partner is Chinese and their family ALWAYS did this when we lived close to them!! They'd discuss their weight right at the dinner table, comment on how they needed to lose weight and were getting fat, then pass the dishes over for them to finish and send the leftovers home with us! Made me SOOOO pissed off. ?

Those close to me noticed first. My doctors were almost in tears that the surgery has been working so well! It was really sweet to see. I take pictures once a month on the 1st of the month and take measurements then too, because I wanted to be able to track for myself what was changing. It was really cool to see how my posture has changed. I keep taking pics in the same outfit and it is so weird to see the shirt getting longer even though I know the shirt isn't getting longer. LOL

I saw my family at Christmas. They live several states away. I recently sent them a full body pic and they were shocked and excited for me because it was pretty clear I've lost weight and my shape is changing. Today I passed my 50% mark towards my goal weight!! I've officially lost 76 lbs since my highest weight (320) and 63 lbs since my surgery weight (307). It just feels so unreal to me...

I almost took a picture the other day (a mirror selfie no less), bc on camera it seemed like I looked the same even though I could tell it wasn't. But I instead opted for trying on some outfits I wore a few months ago and I swear the shirts are longer besides being baggier.

I've slowly dug in the closet and tried on some clothes I haven't seen in years. Being able to fit into them was great of course, but also made me mad ?! The fact that I can fit into both, a dress I wore 5 yrs ago and one I wore over 12 yrs ago when they're different sizes and materials is just crazy?!

On 3/26/2024 at 5:57 PM, Clueless_girl said:

I've slowly dug in the closet and tried on some clothes I haven't seen in years. Being able to fit into them was great of course, but also made me mad ?! The fact that I can fit into both, a dress I wore 5 yrs ago and one I wore over 12 yrs ago when they're different sizes and materials is just crazy?!

Hahahaha!! I have been getting mad about this too! And the vast inconsistency of sizes when you are trying to buy clothes that fit online!! Why haven't these things been standardized, it is truly absurd. Fabric differences are one thing, but a 6 inch difference in bust in the same size and same fabric is wicked annoying...

9 minutes ago, ChunkCat said:

Hahahaha!! I have been getting mad about this too! And the vast inconsistency of sizes when you are trying to buy clothes that fit online!! Why haven't these things been standardized, it is truly absurd. Fabric differences are one thing, but a 6 inch difference in bust in the same size and same fabric is wicked annoying...

agreed. i wish sizing would just be the exact measurement of a piece of clothing vs. some arbitrary number or letter assigned by the manufacturer.

i have size 00 and size 6 in my closet. and i have size XXS and M's as well.

at least my shoe size is the same pretty much across the board as well as jeans that are sized by actual waist circumference.

On 3/27/2024 at 7:57 AM, Clueless_girl said:

I almost took a picture the other day (a mirror selfie no less), bc on camera it seemed like I looked the same even though I could tell it wasn't. But I instead opted for trying on some outfits I wore a few months ago and I swear the shirts are longer besides being baggier.

I've slowly dug in the closet and tried on some clothes I haven't seen in years. Being able to fit into them was great of course, but also made me mad ?! The fact that I can fit into both, a dress I wore 5 yrs ago and one I wore over 12 yrs ago when they're different sizes and materials is just crazy?!

Aaah, vanity sizing. They’ve been slowly making clothing bigger for years but don’t change the size on the tag. No one wants to admit they’ve gotten bigger & need a larger size. ? I had an aunt who swore she’d always wore size 7 shoes but ignored that fact she was much, much larger than she was when she was young so her feet were larger too. She’d rather squeeze her feet into a too small shoe than admit she needed a larger size.

Though I’m an Australian dress size 4 or 6, I wear size 10 knickers & my bras are a 10 band. I believe underwear is the only clothing items that have remained the most true to & consistent in size over the years. But then I do recall bra manufacturers making band sizes larger some years ago because women were getting broader across the back. Mmmm??

And don’t get me started on size guide measurements. With some brands, using their measurements I would need 1 or 2 sizes larger than I actually wear in the brand.