At the end of last year, my life was over eating and especially lots of sugar. I binged on little debbie cakes, guzzled icees, had many high calorie starbucks drinks and a lot of fast food.

I ate and drank so unhealthy that it really was a slow suicide. It was killing me and frankly I did not care, but rather welcomed it.

After several things snowballing, the first of 2022 I started to take control. I made a choice to live. I struggled to work out the pain of the past and even current circumstances which lead me to cover the pain in food, especially sugar and non nutrient dense carbs. The pain that brought me well over 400 lbs and climbing. I journaled and cried and started to stand up for myself. I also did take Ryselbus which helped give me a leg up to do the work. My husband took it but the effects wore off some because he didn’t change. I knew i needed to change if I wanted to live.

Over a few months, I did the very hard mental work. I broke addictions to fast food and the sugar. Going through the process sucked. Slowly, I repeated over and over again I was worth forgiving to getting into this unhealthy state. I could heal and forge a new way. I didn’t need sugar or binging on pizza to make me feel better, I could finally start to find empathy and forgiveness for myself.

Now I am two days from life changing bariatric surgery in a good place. I am ready for the huge changes this surgery brings. No longer do I binge on sugar, bread, processed food. I don’t even want to binge 90% of the time and I have self soothed myself with forgiveness and understanding the other 10%. I have changed my eating patterns, my portions, my outlook. Sugar isn’t forbidden forever, but it will now be a treat, a sometimes indulgence.

It feels amazing to be able to make that choice instead of being ruled by cravings. I feel lighter from not having to carry as much of the huge burden of self loathing and self hate I used to carry.

I am worth forgiving myself.

I guess really why I am writing this is I know the struggle is so real. each one of you has your own issues and challenges. Each one of you is worthy of self forgiveness and embracing good things in your life. shed the tears, embrace your flaws and find a way to accept yourself and move forward in a way you want. Even if you struggle, It is worth it.

I just love this, good for you.

You should be so proud of yourself for so many reasons. Hell, I don't even know you and I am so proud of you!

Not only the change in diet, but most importantly the outlook on YOURSELF. Knowing you are worth everything is a huge accomplishment! Making the changes that you need to, to better yourself mentally AND physically is so hard. We all know that but you managed to do both in a short period of time!

I could go on and on but I think you get the point.

Again, GOOD FOR YOU AND KEEP UP THE HARD WORK! You are killing it!

thanks!!

more importantly to me I have faith that if I can pull myself from suicidal despair and super unhealthy life, others can too. I want to be there for those who feel they have nothing and no hope and feel as alone as I did.

life sucks sometimes but there is room for better on so many levels.

Great post! Thanks so much for sharing. I think this is exactly what I needed to hear today as I deal with some debilitating chronic pain issues.

There is always hope, but sometimes it's hard to see it.

This so so inspiring to hear. Your weight loss alone is incredible but the work you did on your inner self is absolutely amazing. Keep it up.

You're amazing for putting this out there! This is so important for people to read and actually pay attention too. So many people think WLS will just fix everything, but as you said, you "did the very hard mental work. I broke addictions to fast food and the sugar."

I think your success will be so much better because you have done that work and you know what you are accountable for.

I am so excited that you get to start your journey!

You are doing everything right, Kim, in your pre-op. I wish I did half the things you did during that time. What a wonderful post.

This is just fantastic!! Good for you for doing the work and feeling mentally ready for the surgery. You got this!!! I'm excited to hear about your success as time goes on!!

Fantastic post, fantastic journey, fantastic outlook and a fantastic future ahead of you. Completely inspirational - thank you for sharing Kim.

13 hours ago, KimA-GA said:

At the end of last year, my life was over eating and especially lots of sugar. I binged on little debbie cakes, guzzled icees, had many high calorie starbucks drinks and a lot of fast food.

I ate and drank so unhealthy that it really was a slow suicide. It was killing me and frankly I did not care, but rather welcomed it.

After several things snowballing, the first of 2022 I started to take control. I made a choice to live. I struggled to work out the pain of the past and even current circumstances which lead me to cover the pain in food, especially sugar and non nutrient dense carbs. The pain that brought me well over 400 lbs and climbing. I journaled and cried and started to stand up for myself. I also did take Ryselbus which helped give me a leg up to do the work. My husband took it but the effects wore off some because he didn’t change. I knew i needed to change if I wanted to live.

Over a few months, I did the very hard mental work. I broke addictions to fast food and the sugar. Going through the process sucked. Slowly, I repeated over and over again I was worth forgiving to getting into this unhealthy state. I could heal and forge a new way. I didn’t need sugar or binging on pizza to make me feel better, I could finally start to find empathy and forgiveness for myself.

Now I am two days from life changing bariatric surgery in a good place. I am ready for the huge changes this surgery brings. No longer do I binge on sugar, bread, processed food. I don’t even want to binge 90% of the time and I have self soothed myself with forgiveness and understanding the other 10%. I have changed my eating patterns, my portions, my outlook. Sugar isn’t forbidden forever, but it will now be a treat, a sometimes indulgence.

It feels amazing to be able to make that choice instead of being ruled by cravings. I feel lighter from not having to carry as much of the huge burden of self loathing and self hate I used to carry.

I am worth forgiving myself.

I guess really why I am writing this is I know the struggle is so real. each one of you has your own issues and challenges. Each one of you is worthy of self forgiveness and embracing good things in your life. shed the tears, embrace your flaws and find a way to accept yourself and move forward in a way you want. Even if you struggle, It is worth it.

You are doing so wonderfully!!! You are truly on the path to great success!