Going on my first post op date. I haven't dated in 2 years. I am already picturing all the weird things I have to do around food with him. He offered to cook me a pasta dinner and I had to say no LOL so we're going to a smoothie place instead. I looked up the menu and they have unsweetened tea and coffees so I'll be fine but omg how does one explain it?

Anyway, wish me luck! And feel free to share your post op date stories too

Good luck!

Going on my first post op date. I haven't dated in 2 years. I am already picturing all the weird things I have to do around food with him. He offered to cook me a Pasta dinner and I had to say no LOL so we're going to a smoothie place instead. I looked up the menu and they have unsweetened tea and coffees so I'll be fine but omg how does one explain it?
Anyway, wish me luck! And feel free to share your post op date stories too

lol, pasta! That would not have not been a clean scenario. But yes, smoothies are perfect! Good luck!

20 hours ago, fourmonthspreop said:

Going on my first post op date. I haven't dated in 2 years. I am already picturing all the weird things I have to do around food with him. He offered to cook me a Pasta dinner and I had to say no LOL so we're going to a smoothie place instead. I looked up the menu and they have unsweetened tea and coffees so I'll be fine but omg how does one explain it?

Anyway, wish me luck! And feel free to share your post op date stories too

Congratulations in advance

It was a smart move to turn down the home cooked meal for two reasons: sadly it’s not the safest practice for a first date to be at someone’s residence (if that applies to this scenario) and you can’t keep track of what is added to the food (if you can’t tolerate something).

As for an explanation on your food choices on a first date you, can say you’re nervous , not hungry or my personal favorite - no explanation at all. If the relationship continues then you can decide what and when to disclose that info.

Hope all goes well ❤️

Edited May 30, 20224 yr by GreenTealael

Thanks! Yeah it went well but I wasn't feeling it tbh. He luckily didn't offer food or anything but we talked about weight loss because he said he really wants to lose 10 lbs and I can't believe it but I told him I was on a weight loss journey and recently lost a lot of weight. That was the first time ever I've been comfortable enough with MYSELF to talk about that so I'm very happy about that. In the past I would freeze up if a date talked about diet or exercise (even when I was losing weight in the past, I had such a negative relationship to myself and my body) but it made me realize how much I've grown as a person to be able to speak openly about that.

I phrased it like yeah I'm on a weight loss journey so I'm very conscious about what I'm eating and drinking right now. Didn't mention surgery but then he was like thats great i want to lose 10 lbs, maybe for our next date we can go on a run together LOL

Not sure there will be a next date for me. I did that for experience and to flex my dating muscle a bit. He was very sweet But I'm also moving states so I'm not particularly interested in long term relationships at the moment. He did give me this funny business card at the end.

I wonder how it will be in the future though. I don't know why but I almost don't want to tell whoever I date I had gastric bypass until I'm at my goal weight.

Good for you for going! ?

I'm a little more than 6 months post-op, and while I like the idea of dating again (it's been waaay longer than two years) I don't feel like I'm "me" yet: my body is changing pretty regularly, I'm still working my way up to 8 oz meals and trying to get enough fluids every day, there are still lots of foods I haven't tried yet (like lettuce), etc. It's a weird feeling, but one I'm sure many folks here can identify with! But even though it's not something I'm up for yet, I like to think it will happen eventually and I always like hearing about others who have taken the plunge.

Good for you for going! [emoji471]
I'm a little more than 6 months post-op, and while I like the idea of dating again (it's been waaay longer than two years) I don't feel like I'm "me" yet: my body is changing pretty regularly, I'm still working my way up to 8 oz meals and trying to get enough fluids every day, there are still lots of foods I haven't tried yet (like lettuce), etc. It's a weird feeling, but one I'm sure many folks here can identify with! But even though it's not something I'm up for yet, I like to think it will happen eventually and I always like hearing about others who have taken the plunge. [emoji4]

Definitely understand why you want to wait. I also don't feel like myself yet. It's kind of weird being like hey I'm going to lose a lot more weight heads up haha. I went on another date last night with a new person and we talked about weight loss because he was very health conscious. I told him that I recently lost over 80lbs and have issues absorbing vitamins so I take special tablets and get bloodwork every 3 months. I wonder if he put two and two together. I still don't think I'd tell a date until I reach my goal weight.

On 6/4/2022 at 10:49 AM, fourmonthspreop said:

I wonder if he put two and two together.

Honestly, I think unless people have known someone who went through bariatric surgery they won't get it from clues like that. Most folks just have no idea.

You got me thinking, though, and I wonder if a few "trial dates" might not be a bad idea. My weight wasn't the only thing that kept me from dating for so long: I'm also a little picky. But I can't help thinking there might be more options these days. I just need to get some current photos!

Honestly, I think unless people have known someone who went through bariatric surgery they won't get it from clues like that. Most folks just have no idea. [emoji4]
You got me thinking, though, and I wonder if a few "trial dates" might not be a bad idea. My weight wasn't the only thing that kept me from dating for so long: I'm also a little picky. But I can't help thinking there might be more options these days. I just need to get some current photos!

Thats true, its so specific. He mentioned he hates really fatty foods and exclusively eats protein and greens mainly. I was like you and I are going to get along fine haha.

You never know tok. Once you're comfortable, it can be exciting to go on a date. Especially if you let your weight hold you back in the past. It's weird having a crush on someone again but it feels good. I'm also not hyper self conscious about my size. I feel good too.

I went on a brunch date that was nice. We chatted about everything and I ended up blurting how I lost the weight because they knew me from before. Eggs were a good choice, and yes I drank real coffee with milk in it. No sparks but the beginning of a good friendship.

Good luck! I was banded 11 years ago and am revising to bypass in July, so I have a bit of experience with this. When I eat with new people, I am just very upfront and tell them that I had weight loss surgery and that my eating is weird, so please don't be offended or worried if I don't eat much, eat slow, etc. I'm all good and totally happy unless I say otherwise.

On 6/9/2022 at 11:03 AM, Juniper123 said:

When I eat with new people, I am just very upfront and tell them that I had weight loss surgery and that my eating is weird, so please don't be offended or worried if I don't eat much, eat slow, etc.

I think I'll wind up being the same way. I tend to be pretty straightforward in general, plus I don't want anyone thinking that I'm trying to "impress" them (or whatever) by eating like a bird. I've never had any problem ordering/eating whatever I want in front of others...it just used to be a lot more!

Sort of related: I sometimes eat differently when I'm out vs how I eat at home, because I've found that being conservative day-to-day but allowing myself small indulgences when I'm out with friends works for me both physically and psychologically. (If I ever start going out more often I'll probably have to adjust that strategy! LOL!)

I've avoided eating dates so far. I don't know why but I'm so embarrassed because I also don't want to look like ohhh she's just being modest or is awkward about eating but I also really don't want to tell people about my surgery yet. Rock and a hard place I guess. I might just pretend I didn't like the food that much if I go on an eating date.

Happy hour instead of dinner dates work well for a first date. Sharing a appetizer is an easy way to limit the appearance of left behind food. Even dinner dates I often just order an appetizer,