My family went out to dinner the other night and I felt so jealous that they could.

I still am eating the exact same meal every single time I eat. I've spent the last month or so like this because I just can't find meals that work for both my son and I together. So he eats what he eats, and I make my little meal in the microwave every day.

I finally got up the courage to ask my family to go out to eat a couple weeks back with my son and I, and hated every minute of it. Felt like I wanted to cry the entire time because every meal I looked at was breaded chicken, burgers, pasta and seafood (of which I despise.)

The only other thing that I could eat was a salad, and quite frankly, the idea of trying to eat a salad when everyone else was having nachos, pasta, pizza, meatloaf, breads and french fries just brought me even lower. And you KNOW those salads that they bring is 90% lettuce, maybe 1 tomato, 1 cucumber (which I'm not allowed to eat yet) and 2 spirals of green peppers.

It might be my own fault of putting too much "mental" thought into what I eat every day, as I'm the pickiest person I've ever known, and I've mentally told myself, I can't eat burgers (even without the bun) cuz they're not lean. I DEFINITELY can't have fries or onion rings or nachos like my family ate... pasta isn't permitted at all, and all I eat at home is my egg/chicken/peppers/onion mix.

Being only 2 months post op, I'm still in the soft foods label... so trying to find things you're allowed to eat outside the safety of your own purchased items is daunting. - I spent over an hour trying to figure out what to eat only to get talked down to by the manager of the restaurant for wanting a piece of grilled chicken and steamed carrots, when they normally have to add all this extra sauce and stuff to their meal... that just made me want to go out to the car and cry even more because here I am trying to have an evening out with my family, and this lady looks at my overweight self and says "So... you JUST want a little piece of chicken and some carrots?"

I mean COULD I have even eaten all the extra bits and sauce and everything else they add to their meals 2 months post op? - wouldn't that have just fueled the addict in me for food? I mean sure, the smaller portion would be a huge difference, but that nugget of knowledge would have me say "oh, it's okay if I eat the burger, because I'm only eating a small amount" "It's okay to have nachos and cheese if it's just one or two"

At this point, I've stopped going out, declining when my family asks, but let them know my son can go... saying I have to work late or do something else important.. the only time I get out is to go to the gym...

Maybe I'm taking it too extreme... or perhaps I'm justified in requesting the piece of grilled chicken alone and steamed carrots... either way, I feel way too nervous to even try again now because of how I was spoken to and feel like it's just not time to try to go out with family and have a nice meal together.

I'm so sorry that you feel this way! I have been eating out fairly regularly since about 2 months out. Did it slow my weight loss? Possibly. But I am significantly happier! I went to a thing called magical dining in September, where it's a three course meal, twice, Once, I ordered salmon with a tuna appetizer (I know you don't like seafood, I love it as long as I don't have to cook it!) and the next time I ordered filet mignon and some sort of soup. Both times, I ate about 1/2 of the appetizer, 1/3 of the protein and a bite or two of the sides and then one bite of the dessert and then packed it in a doggy bag and brought it home to my son. If my son wasn't the sort to eat JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING, I would have eaten the leftovers over the next two days! I've had fajitas and refried beans at a Mexican restaurant and a sashimi appetizer at a sushi restaurant. I haven't eaten Italian (too tempting, although I might order veal or chicken piccata, it I did!) I focus on eating the protein first and then take a bite or two of the sides. I ALWAYS look at the menu on line and figure out what I can eat and WANT to eat. Luckily, my family lets me lead the charge on where we go, so I can find somewhere that has something I want to eat.

So anyway, long post, but don't give up. Two months is still early and you should be able to enjoy food a bit sooner or later. I hope you can find that balance! Good luck.

Look at the menu online ahead of time to make sure there's something that's both appealing and easy to digest! In the beginning, I usually got soup. I still remember my first non-soup order which was as ahi tuna appetizer. I ate one slice of tuna, took the rest home and got another 4 meals out of it! LOL!! I miss those days!! Now I would probably only get 2 meals out of it!

I'm almost 14 months out with the Loop DS, but I developed a wheat allergy after surgery. Likely due to the malabsortion bit in my surgery (they don't mention that's a possibility when you're learning about the surgery, and that irritates me). Anyway, I went through a similar thing about only eating salad on the menu (minus croutons because wheat flour is in just about every damn bread in existence except gluten free) because everything else either had bread in it (which has wheat), was an egg dish (I DESPISE eggs), was fish (HATE fish, minus tuna which is the only fish I like), or a beef dish (I don't eat beef. haven't had it in 19 years and that's not changing). So my choices were salad, salad, or... salad. So every time I get asked to go out I say no. But yesterday we went out to a different restaurant and they had chicken marsala on the menu! There is only one other restaurant that we go to that has that and we rarely go there since they shut down for a while due to covid so finding another restaurant that has that option made me really damn happy. It was delicious. Chicken, mushrooms, marsala sauce, zucchini, squash, broccoli, and garlic potatoes. I only ate like a fourth of the plate but it was delicious and I had leftovers so... I'm glad I have at least one more restaurant I can actually go to and not get... salad ?

5 hours ago, Shanibani said:

My family went out to dinner the other night and I felt so jealous that they could.

I still am eating the exact same meal every single time I eat. I've spent the last month or so like this because I just can't find meals that work for both my son and I together. So he eats what he eats, and I make my little meal in the microwave every day.

I finally got up the courage to ask my family to go out to eat a couple weeks back with my son and I, and hated every minute of it. Felt like I wanted to cry the entire time because every meal I looked at was breaded chicken, burgers, Pasta and seafood (of which I despise.)

The only other thing that I could eat was a salad, and quite frankly, the idea of trying to eat a salad when everyone else was having nachos, pasta, pizza, meatloaf, breads and french fries just brought me even lower. And you KNOW those salads that they bring is 90% lettuce, maybe 1 Tomato, 1 cucumber (which I'm not allowed to eat yet) and 2 spirals of green peppers.

It might be my own fault of putting too much "mental" thought into what I eat every day, as I'm the pickiest person I've ever known, and I've mentally told myself, I can't eat burgers (even without the bun) cuz they're not lean. I DEFINITELY can't have fries or onion rings or nachos like my family ate... pasta isn't permitted at all, and all I eat at home is my egg/chicken/peppers/onion mix.

Being only 2 months post op, I'm still in the soft foods label... so trying to find things you're allowed to eat outside the safety of your own purchased items is daunting. - I spent over an hour trying to figure out what to eat only to get talked down to by the manager of the restaurant for wanting a piece of grilled chicken and steamed carrots, when they normally have to add all this extra sauce and stuff to their meal... that just made me want to go out to the car and cry even more because here I am trying to have an evening out with my family, and this lady looks at my overweight self and says "So... you JUST want a little piece of chicken and some carrots?"

I mean COULD I have even eaten all the extra bits and sauce and everything else they add to their meals 2 months post op? - wouldn't that have just fueled the addict in me for food? I mean sure, the smaller portion would be a huge difference, but that nugget of knowledge would have me say "oh, it's okay if I eat the burger, because I'm only eating a small amount" "It's okay to have nachos and cheese if it's just one or two"

At this point, I've stopped going out, declining when my family asks, but let them know my son can go... saying I have to work late or do something else important.. the only time I get out is to go to the gym...

Maybe I'm taking it too extreme... or perhaps I'm justified in requesting the piece of grilled chicken alone and steamed carrots... either way, I feel way too nervous to even try again now because of how I was spoken to and feel like it's just not time to try to go out with family and have a nice meal together.

Oh I want to reach out and give you a big hug. I know EXACTLY what you are saying/feeling. I was sleeved on 4 January and have been out a couple of times. I have learned my lesson BIG time! I don't order anything. Hubby does, and I have a couple of bites of his dinner. He might order a side of mashed potato or steamed veges, and i'll have a couple of those too. I still can't get through more than 1/2 a cup at a time, so why waste money on a big plate of food for me, only to walk away from it.

I always look at the menu online before going anywhere. It helps me make a decision without holding other people up and drawing attention to myself.

18 hours ago, ChubRub said:

Look at the menu online ahead of time to make sure there's something that's both appealing and easy to digest! In the beginning, I usually got Soup. I still remember my first non-soup order which was as ahi tuna appetizer. I ate one slice of tuna, took the rest home and got another 4 meals out of it! LOL!! I miss those days!! Now I would probably only get 2 meals out of it!

This! It is a huge help to look ahead at the menu before picking a restaurant. In the early stages, it was just easiest to find a soup that fit into my stages. I also looked at the side dishes if there weren't any soups that would meet my needs and just got side dishes the first couple months. Or an appetizer. This is of course assuming they had something healthy that met my stage needs. If that doesn't work, have a partner order a meal that you can take a little bit off their plate. Once you are tolerating more foods, request a TOGO box WITH your meal. Take 2/3rds-3/4ths of the meal (depending on how big portions are) and box them up immediately! Anyhow restaurant food is challenging for the first several months, but it gets a whole lot easier over time. Especially once you learn what substations will work for your diet and/or stomach tolerance.

We mostly have eaten takeout, due to Covid, but we have eaten on a patio a few times ( as weather permits). I’ve just made sure that whatever restaurant we are going to has something on the menu that I want and can have, and if my family is getting takeout from a place that doesn’t have what I can eat, I just have my own stuff that I make. I’ve had soup, curry (no rice, just eating the vegetables and protein), protein skewers, and salads. I can never eat it all, but that’s the whole point of the surgery.

My best advice is to be pickier about restaurants, and when there’s nothing for you at a particular place then don’t go, and make peace with what you have at home. One big thing I’m trying to focus on is to not let food be central to my life. Obsessing over what I wanted to eat, what other people were eating, what food looked good, etc took up so much of my life pre-op. The biggest change I wanted to make was to stop letting food play such a central role in my life. I’m not pretending that “it’s just fuel” because there’s a lot mixed in socially, culturally, etc., but it needs to be a part of life, not life itself.