Hi all-

I'm at 3 months post op from bypass. I don't have any problems with being tempted by anything and I've learned now that if there's something I can like to try, to eat a bite and spit it out. No problems.

However, I'm stumped with Thanksgiving. My kids are 19 and 23. This year we have all started working, my son and I both graduate college next semester and my son is about to leave our home. I think this will be our last Thanksgiving together as a family here at the house. I'm hitting pre-empty nest panic fast.

I can't have turkey and the kids don't care so much about exactly how traditional it is. My daughter also has lost weight and is watching what she eats. I want to have it somewhat traditional but maybe have things all of us can eat without gorging. I also am just now starting to learn what foods I can and can't eat and there aren't many I can eat but I can eat a bit of potato.

Would love to hear plans of others here (pre or post op) and how they're incorporating their diet with their families and traditions.

If the kids don’t care about traditional Thanksgiving Day food get food from your favorite restaurant or make a special meal. Play some silly games. Go to the movies. Just make some memories together.
I too am dealing with an empty nest this year. My youngest moved 1100 miles away 2 months ago! My husband is working 6 12 hour days a week right now. It’s just me & the dogs home all day long!

2 minutes ago, toodlerue said:

If the kids don’t care about traditional Thanksgiving Day food get food from your favorite restaurant or make a special meal. Play some silly games. Go to the movies. Just make some memories together.
I too am dealing with an empty nest this year. My youngest moved 1100 miles away 2 months ago! My husband is working 6 12 hour days a week right now. It’s just me & the dogs home all day long!

That's some really great suggestions and SO sorry for the long distance with your youngest. I just had a new grandbaby born about 600 miles away; visited for two days (with a lot of stress for safety) and had to leave knowing the in-laws were still there 24/7 with my new little one that I got to name with my daughter. It broke my heart to leave my first grandchild. Had some tears but my kids at home did promise to try their hardest to give me grandchildren and stay near enough. It was even heartfelt and painful for them to say to me-they both just want fur-children lol.

I think everything will be closed down-it's limited now as we just shut down Friday here but a local restaurant take-out would be nice. Maybe I can see if a deli would still be open the day before to heat up.

I just started a job working with my husband at a local factory but my hours are only 30. He's worked there some years now though and this year they are giving bonuses to have the employees in some depts work the same hours as what your husband is working now too. When he's home, the poor man is sleeping in the recliner. Thank goodness for our furbabies, right?! Hugs and happy holidays to you and your family.

Our Thanksgiving is going to look very different this year. We aren't having anyone over, and my kids (who are young) don't care about turkey. I told them since we aren't having family over, we don't have to eat turkey, and let them plan the menu. They want fish sticks, mac n cheese, and pumpkin pie! LOL! So that will be easy for me! If our local sushi restaurant is open, then hubs and I will order take out. If not, then we will eat fish sticks too! ha ha!

4 minutes ago, ChubRub said:

Our Thanksgiving is going to look very different this year. We aren't having anyone over, and my kids (who are young) don't care about turkey. I told them since we aren't having family over, we don't have to eat turkey, and let them plan the menu. They want fish sticks, mac n cheese, and pumpkin pie! LOL! So that will be easy for me! If our local sushi restaurant is open, then hubs and I will order take out. If not, then we will eat fish sticks too! ha ha!

WTG mom!! That sounds awesome to me! I think my kids would love me (and my nagging lol) to this day if every year would have been like that!

Honestly, I have a friend who has young kids, is stressed out, disabled to boot and having pressure from her husband to have their family over (despite concerns here for the coming holidays) to have a huge feast in the traditional sense. She wants to have the surgery but can't (for a few reasons) and is over 300 lbs trying to at least bring more healthy eating to the family but gets zero support. I try to tell her to keep it low-key and insist on just family time with the kids.

A dinner like yours would go over very well with her kids but she's still giving herself the pressure due to the pressure from family members to go all out. It's just needless; especially this year.

Have a very happy holiday with your wonderful family this year :-).

With COVID we aren't having a family get-together. It's just me and hubby. I'm making some Keto sausage balls and keto brownies and that's about it. We aren't big on tradition so not having the turkey and trimmings isn't a big deal to us. Hubby and I are on the Carnivore (stricter Keto) diet so we wouldn't be eating much different than any other day anyway. Focus on Thanksgiving as being with family as opposed to being about food.

56 minutes ago, GradyCat said:

With COVID we aren't having a family get-together. It's just me and hubby. I'm making some Keto sausage balls and keto brownies and that's about it. We aren't big on tradition so not having the turkey and trimmings isn't a big deal to us. Hubby and I are on the Carnivore (stricter Keto) diet so we wouldn't be eating much different than any other day anyway. Focus on Thanksgiving as being with family as opposed to being about food.

I hadn't heard of the Carnivore diet but you guys are doing great for being on it-it's got to be the healthiest for many health problems. I agree, covid is more worrying then trying to see family and there's some hope in sight for next year being so much better with the vaccines. I think I'm trying to get a new way to appreciate the family and make everyone happy here while still trying to understand what foods are acceptable or not with my new pouch-still really limited with what I can take without pain).

We knocked around some ideas to make it more fun and not about food (my husband is from Italy; we lived there until about 4 years ago so this holiday is new to him anyhow). We're Ren Fest enthusiasts; we were going to get our vows renewed this year for our 10th wedding anniversary and had special costumes made up (mine being in much smaller sizes for the weight loss I was expecting). That was cancelled but we still have them and we thought about all of us wearing the historical garb and having some stories to celebrate. Going down in sizes is one aspect that always motivates with weight loss.

Not missing the Macy's day parade though ? on. tv if they have some form of it this year.

Happy Holidays to your husband and yourself. It sounds like a wonderful and peaceful way to celebrate.

Edited November 22, 20205 yr by ichabodny

2020 holidays are going to be very different! I usually host 25 to 30 people; We did a backyard brunch with 12 people back in mid-October so we could see some of the extended family that usually comes knowing we would not be able to host during Covid. We will be 5 people; me, my husband, my two adult kids and my son-in-law. My daughter and her husband are moving back to NYC December 1 (they rented an Airbnb near us for the last 4 months) so we won't see them again until spring I bet.

I decided to order Thanksgiving for 6 people from a local restaurant; my daughter is vegetarian and they are a vegan/vegetarian friendly restaurant. The meal includes a turkey breast and a bunch of yummy sides including vegan butternut squash macaroni and cheese, whatever that is! lol. Our Christmas will be only 3 of us, my adult son and my husband and I. We usually host 18 people for Christmas! We are using Friday, Saturday and Sunday after Thanksgiving as "fake Christmas season"; getting our tree, decorating the house, watching Muppets Christmas Carol (our family tradition), opening one little present each and having our traditional Christmas pancakes on Sunday morning. My daughter and SIL just bought a house, so their real present from us was some household stuff, delivered to their new house, and my son is moving into a new apartment March 1st, so we are getting him a new bed. We agreed that we would like a donation in the families name to our local foodbank as our present from the kids this year. (and grandkids, we want grandkids, but no commitment there....).

Christmas Day I am sure will feel pretty isolated. We are doing an extended family zoom with all my brothers and their respective spouses/partners, my nieces and nephews, and the grand nieces and nephews. That many people on Zoom is very chaotic, but we are going to sing "The 12 days of christmas" (everyone has an assigned day) and Silent Night, as we usually sing carols when we are together. (we are almost all terrible singers, btw).

I am about to go fully remote, again. I am missing my friends, missing my family, my colleagues, and I feel scared and overwhelmed at times. I am actively trying to focus on gratitude, staying in the moment, and appreciating the connections I have with so many dear people, albeit in a new form. I am also trying to get outside for walks as much as I can, and have invested in a warm and waterproof pair of walking/hiking boots and bought some thermal under things in my new size. Chasing the endorphins and Vitamin D.

Happy Thanksgiving to one and all! I'd love to hear how other folks are planning for this year, both from a food, health and mental health perspective.

Can I switch places with any of you guys above. Huge gathering outside by the pool and this guy gets the job of cooking

5 Huge Turkeys - My college kids want two bacon wrapped two smoked and one friend

Pounds of mashed potatoes Massive pans of stuffing and casseroles and of course all the bread

Now lets add a table of desserts to the list!

But you know what. I am a chef and my kids also are getting older, So i can not wait to cook it all for all our family and friends! Because what you all said above is the most- Great Memories that i will remember and they will remember and pass on to there kids - So get my ramekin ready for T-Day dinner a whole 4oz at a time, Nice thing is i can pick all day while doing it.

We were looking forward to Thanksgiving and having my sister, her husband, and their 3 kids over along with her dad (we have different dads) and his fiance, BUT two people in my household tested positive for Covid and one of them is now hospitalized so I've hoarded myself away in my room hoping I don't get it and Thanksgiving was canceled...

We were looking forward to Thanksgiving and having my sister, her husband, and their 3 kids over along with her dad (we have different dads) and his fiance, BUT two people in my household tested positive for Covid and one of them is now hospitalized so I've hoarded myself away in my room hoping I don't get it and Thanksgiving was canceled...

I am so sorry you're going through this... hopefully you're household members will recover soon and you'll remain covid free. What a scary situation.

21 hours ago, lisafrommassachusetts said:

2020 holidays are going to be very different! I usually host 25 to 30 people; We did a backyard brunch with 12 people back in mid-October so we could see some of the extended family that usually comes knowing we would not be able to host during Covid. We will be 5 people; me, my husband, my two adult kids and my son-in-law. My daughter and her husband are moving back to NYC December 1 (they rented an Airbnb near us for the last 4 months) so we won't see them again until spring I bet.

I decided to order Thanksgiving for 6 people from a local restaurant; my daughter is vegetarian and they are a vegan/vegetarian friendly restaurant. The meal includes a turkey breast and a bunch of yummy sides including vegan butternut squash macaroni and cheese, whatever that is! lol. Our Christmas will be only 3 of us, my adult son and my husband and I. We usually host 18 people for Christmas! We are using Friday, Saturday and Sunday after Thanksgiving as "fake Christmas season"; getting our tree, decorating the house, watching Muppets Christmas Carol (our family tradition), opening one little present each and having our traditional Christmas pancakes on Sunday morning. My daughter and SIL just bought a house, so their real present from us was some household stuff, delivered to their new house, and my son is moving into a new apartment March 1st, so we are getting him a new bed. We agreed that we would like a donation in the families name to our local foodbank as our present from the kids this year. (and grandkids, we want grandkids, but no commitment there....).

Christmas Day I am sure will feel pretty isolated. We are doing an extended family zoom with all my brothers and their respective spouses/partners, my nieces and nephews, and the grand nieces and nephews. That many people on Zoom is very chaotic, but we are going to sing "The 12 days of christmas" (everyone has an assigned day) and Silent Night, as we usually sing carols when we are together. (we are almost all terrible singers, btw).

I am about to go fully remote, again. I am missing my friends, missing my family, my colleagues, and I feel scared and overwhelmed at times. I am actively trying to focus on gratitude, staying in the moment, and appreciating the connections I have with so many dear people, albeit in a new form. I am also trying to get outside for walks as much as I can, and have invested in a warm and waterproof pair of walking/hiking boots and bought some thermal under things in my new size. Chasing the endorphins and Vitamin D.

Happy Thanksgiving to one and all! I'd love to hear how other folks are planning for this year, both from a food, health and mental health perspective.

21 hours ago, lisafrommassachusetts said:

I totally understand the feeling of a bit more isolation-keeping a very tight bucket list for next year holidays. I was scheduled to have a safe outdoor gathering in my hometown of Niagara Falls with all the friends I talk to daily via remote but our county hit orange just before and theirs is still going between orange and yellow so we had to just cancel. Next year, right?

You have a lot of movement this year in your family! I can't even imagine taking care of gatherings for so many people really! Restaurant is something I'm looking into but with shut-downs and restrictions starting, I'm not sure what's feasible. I'll look into it today.

I know the feeling of begin scared and overwhelmed. My husband is from Italy; we only recently in the last few years moved back here. Before it hit the US and we took it seriously, we were anxiously trying to track down our family in Italy (back in Feb) and tearfully watching the deaths as it hit there first. My husband was able to locate his mother but found he had lost other family members so we were fully aware of the implications before anyone else was really prepared here in the US. Since then, we've dealt with two different countries and the ramifications of covid. Here in NY, well, to say we just sat sadly and cried watching the deaths and learning of friends and family members affected is an understatement.

My husband is now here (he is a resident) and sorrow has hit our family for the holidays. He was unprepared for the loss of some of his family and was unable to grieve. His mother is 84 and lives in a small village between Rome and Rieti that is not the most technological so we are limited with connections but there are worries. This year there is a lot to be grateful for. We are getting healthier every day and more able to combat anything in the future; it was always a thought I had for this surgery and since.

Hugs to you and your family and thoughts to a wonderful holiday season full of happiness; even if we are relying on technology :-).

Our plans are to go to my in-laws house for a small get together. Smaller now than originally planned because one of my wife's sisters recently attended a funeral with a large attendance and hasn't been able to schedule a rapid covid test before Thanksgiving. So it will be my wife, myself, our 3 young kids, her parents and one other sister and her husband. Food-wise I think it is going to be mostly traditional with slightly lower emphasis on carbs (everyone is trying to lose weight). I haven't run into much that I can't eat so I'm planning on just taking a bite or two of everything and seeing where that gets me.

20 hours ago, NovaLuna said:

We were looking forward to Thanksgiving and having my sister, her husband, and their 3 kids over along with her dad (we have different dads) and his fiance, BUT two people in my household tested positive for Covid and one of them is now hospitalized so I've hoarded myself away in my room hoping I don't get it and Thanksgiving was canceled...

Adding heartfelt wishes for everyone in your family having a speedy recovery. I am so sorry for the stress that you and your family are going through right now.

57 minutes ago, maslman said:

Our plans are to go to my in-laws house for a small get together. Smaller now than originally planned because one of my wife's sisters recently attended a funeral with a large attendance and hasn't been able to schedule a rapid covid test before Thanksgiving. So it will be my wife, myself, our 3 young kids, her parents and one other sister and her husband. Food-wise I think it is going to be mostly traditional with slightly lower emphasis on carbs (everyone is trying to lose weight). I haven't run into much that I can't eat so I'm planning on just taking a bite or two of everything and seeing where that gets me.

Your surgery was only a couple weeks after mine was-you are doing awesome on your plan. I was thinking the same thing as you-I can eat a bit more at a time now but still am really limited with what will not cause me pain. I did end up picking up a small turkey today with much less extra on the side then normal-smaller sometimes is a good thing.

This year.....sigh...so much people are dealing with. I'm very glad for this support group and even hearing the stress and difficulties everyone is going through right now. I am very sorry to hear the added stress your family has as well. Many thoughts and the very best wishes for a safe and happy holiday for you and your family.