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Feeling Guilty(as I should)



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Today is my 4th day on my preop liquid diet and I'm STRUGGLINGGGGG....especially today, I cheated and ate bbq food. Now I feel so bad mentally and physically. I'm beating myself up about it but tomorrow I'm back on it. I have been tempted so bad and now I feel like once again food wins again. I just want to get rid of the hold that food has over me, mentally I'm in a constant battle. But I'm not going to give up, I have to overcome this.

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It’s gets a lot easier post op (at least it did for me). The first couple days you may be sore or just feel so different inside your abdomen that there is zero desire to eat. I’m three weeks post op and the first two weeks I felt what I assumed was hunger pangs but may have been remnants of the surgery. Either way, three weeks out and I honestly don’t even think about food. I have to set reminders to eat. It’s a strange feeling to get through the day and realize you forgot to eat all day and still don’t feel hungry. It’s important not to cheat here on out, but don’t beat yourself up about it. It happened, it’s over, get back to the plan and move on. You got this. You have to.

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2 minutes ago, Fatty Matty said:

It’s gets a lot easier post op (at least it did for me). The first couple days you may be sore or just feel so different inside your abdomen that there is zero desire to eat. I’m three weeks post op and the first two weeks I felt what I assumed was hunger pangs but may have been remnants of the surgery. Either way, three weeks out and I honestly don’t even think about food. I have to set reminders to eat. It’s a strange feeling to get through the day and realize you forgot to eat all day and still don’t feel hungry. It’s important not to cheat here on out, but don’t beat yourself up about it. It happened, it’s over, get back to the plan and move on. You got this. You have to.

I'm trying. I'm really trying. And I figured the surgery would be somewhat of a help but I don't want to rely on it completely. I feel bad because this is only for two weeks and I fell off the wagon already. But your right I got this and I definitely won't mess up again. Thank you.

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2 hours ago, Tripledblessed said:

I'm trying. I'm really trying. And I figured the surgery would be somewhat of a help but I don't want to rely on it completely. I feel bad because this is only for two weeks and I fell off the wagon already. But your right I got this and I definitely won't mess up again. Thank you.

You are right not to rely completely on the surgery for your weight loss. It is a tool and not a magic bullet--and you can definitely find ways to cheat after surgery and sabotage your weight loss. As Matty said, however, you will feel completely different after surgery. I was never hungry for the first several months and had to force myself to eat just to get enough Protein every day.

Now that I'm in maintenance I can eat "normally" (in smaller quantities), but the good habits I learned during the first eight months or so have made it relatively easy to stay on track.

Don't beat yourself up about this one slip-up. It's not going to matter at all in the long run.

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Posted (edited)

8 hours ago, Tripledblessed said:

Today is my 4th day on my preop liquid diet and I'm STRUGGLINGGGGG....especially today, I cheated and ate bbq food. Now I feel so bad mentally and physically. I'm beating myself up about it but tomorrow I'm back on it. I have been tempted so bad and now I feel like once again food wins again. I just want to get rid of the hold that food has over me, mentally I'm in a constant battle. But I'm not going to give up, I have to overcome this.

Is your surgeons office asking for you to see a psychologist to help with your food addiction?

It might be a good idea

Edited by MIKEYY84

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Ahhh flawless mike (aka Superman) at it again. Reading many of your posts I’ve come to realize something... You sound EXACTLY like all the people that criticized us for not just buckling down and losing weight. Probably like the people who secretly think you’re weak for not “doing it the old fashioned way” and “I lost weight by dieting, you can too if you just try harder..”. Oh I know I know you don’t have to tell me.. it’s just tough love, honest advice, a little jab of motivation. Just like the “eat right and exercise more” and “it’s easy, stop eating like that” people we’ve all heard from in the past. Be better. Not everyone will be as perfect as you in this journey and not everyone needs to be reminded of their flaws at every chance you can find.

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Excuse me I was giving honest advice.. it is beneficial to get help if needed.. there's nothing wrong with asking for help....

Most surgeons ask for psychological help to deal with the changes in your life that come with surgery.. nobody is perfect..

And I'm allowed to give advice because I've been through it and have been successful so I'm offering encouragement and inspiration to show it is possible...

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Perhaps writing down your recent experience, as well as your emotions and feelings afterwards would help? Use it as a tool to prevent you from making the same choice next time. Remember how guilty (out of control???) you felt after eating the BBQ food. Hopefully reflecting back on that will help you make a better choice next time. Visualize going to a party, turning down the food, stepping on the scale the next day and feeling pride, instead of guilt.

Best of luck to you!

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just be sure to get right back on track. And also resolve to get your head in the game from now on and stick to your program. This takes a lot of work and commitment - the surgery just gives you a strong tail wind to get you there more easily than you could without it. There are so many people who never make it to their desired goal - don't be one of them!! This is your big chance to get rid of that excess weight - so take full advantage of this tool!

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Let go of the guilt. Move forward. I am on my last day of the pre-op diet and it has been hard to stick with. Some days were absolute torture and others were just blah because I am sooo sick of Protein Shakes. I have used these last two weeks to work on getting my head in the game by watching some YouTube videos and reading a book called Intuitive Eating. While some of the ideas in the book are premature for me to practice during pre-op or post-op, I do hope to incorporate the concepts in my life for maintenance. I have also avoided social situations with food during this time, because I don’t want the extra temptation. With that said, I did sit next to my husband last night while he ate a couple of small cheeseburgers and definitely wanted to grab one. Lol. I am not perfect. I did have a light string cheese about a week ago. It wasn’t remotely satisfying and has made it easier to resist the siren call of food. With few exceptions ( @MIKEYY84), none of us are perfect. Be kind to yourself and move on with following you surgeon’s diet. You can do it!

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I am in day three of the pre op diet and it’s HARD!! I feel like I need something like a small salad or piece of fruit in the evening to make me feel better.
We can do this!!!

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Your surgeon's office probably has a support system in place for you when you need it, if not, a therapist may be the way to go. The head game is real! I'm not looking forward to the liquid pre-op diet either, a lot of people say it's the hardest part of the process- so don't feel bad! Guilt doesn't serve anyone, just move on and do better. One day at a time as they say. You can do this!

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10 hours ago, Shell4451 said:

I am in day three of the pre op diet and it’s HARD!! I feel like I need something like a small salad or piece of fruit in the evening to make me feel better.
We can do this!!!

Hang in there!!! You can do this!!!

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Thank you for the encouragement!

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I watched Dr. Vuong YouTube vids to help my headspace and how to move forward with this “second chance.” Treating my new stomach like it’s own entity definitely helps me want to do better. He has a video on common pitfalls that will lead you back to square 1 - I keep those in mind because I want to prevent that from happening to me.

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