Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

Hi, I'm the Loch Ness Amber, and I have trouble perceiving my body as it is. (I have NOT been diagnosed with body dysmorphia.)

Pre-op, at my largest, I felt smaller than I really was. The concept of how big I truly was didnt seem right and needed to be proved with photos I didnt take myself. Post-op, I now feel larger than I really am, and it's what i see in the mirror.

I believe my perception of myself beforehand was contributing to my gain. My perception afterward doesnt seem to affect me other than a vague frustration. I'm wondering how common this is, and if anyone knows why this cognitive dissonance with our bodies even exists.

I'd also like to know if it resolves in time, or if I will forever perceive myself as "3-4x" whenever asked my clothing size.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So we are very similar in that I never saw myself as being as big as I was. my heaviest was 364 and I am 5' 10in tall. (used to be six foot but I am shrinking lol) So now I see my body changing and an totally enthralled with the changes. and what it can do. twisty yoga bendy poses, jump rope. run.

I guess everybody is different but I am 2lbs away form 100lb loss and I feel sexy, sassy and FREE

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Self image is one of the hardest parts for me i still at times is all that i see is the larger me sometimes it is hard to see the difference although everyone else sees it i still feel the same at times those feeling have started to fade with time and my confidence has started to blossom as well it just takes time i guess so yes we all have our insecurity's about our body

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Lochnessamber said:

Hi, I'm the Loch Ness Amber, and I have trouble perceiving my body as it is. (I have NOT been diagnosed with body dysmorphia.)

Pre-op, at my largest, I felt smaller than I really was. The concept of how big I truly was didnt seem right and needed to be proved with photos I didnt take myself. Post-op, I now feel larger than I really am, and it's what i see in the mirror.

I believe my perception of myself beforehand was contributing to my gain. My perception afterward doesnt seem to affect me other than a vague frustration. I'm wondering how common this is, and if anyone knows why this cognitive dissonance with our bodies even exists.

I'd also like to know if it resolves in time, or if I will forever perceive myself as "3-4x" whenever asked my clothing size.

Hi Amber,

Yes, this is common experience for many of us.

I knew I was overweight. The term morbidly obese was hard to hear. Honestly, I hid from cameras and didn’t spend much time looking in a full body mirror. I was not seeing my self correctly pre surgery. It took time for my mind to catch up with the rapid weight loss. I finally saw myself correctly after goal and my weight settled.

A vet gave me a good suggestion. Place a photo of yourself at your goal/low weight on your bathroom mirror. Look at it as you get ready in the morning. I used a counselor to get past this issue. She said some people eventually see themselves correctly, some may take years and some never do.

I see myself as smaller. I have confidence and feel comfortable in my own skin. (I should say loose skin) I’m maintaining five years out. It’s ridiculous that a five-pound weight gain can make me feel like I am at my high weight all over again. The fear of weight gain is still something I’m working on. I am better with this as time progresses. I’ve had to learn to trust myself more.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Avery's Mom said:

I guess everybody is different but I am 2lbs away form 100lb loss and I feel sexy, sassy and FREE

Good!! I'm happy for you and the attitude you have!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
29 minutes ago, Healthy_life2 said:

Hi Amber,

Yes, this is common experience for many of us.

I knew I was overweight. The term morbidly obese was hard to hear. Honestly, I hid from cameras and didn’t spend much time looking in a full body mirror. I was not seeing my self correctly pre surgery. It took time for my mind to catch up with the rapid weight loss. I finally saw myself correctly after goal and my weight settled.

A vet gave me a good suggestion. Place a photo of yourself at your goal/low weight on your bathroom mirror. Look at it as you get ready in the morning. I used a counselor to get past this issue. She said some people eventually see themselves correctly, some may take years and some never do.

I see myself as smaller. I have confidence and feel comfortable in my own skin. (I should say loose skin) I’m maintaining five years out. It’s ridiculous that a five-pound weight gain can make me feel like I am at my high weight all over again. The fear of weight gain is still something I’m working on. I am better with this as time progresses. I’ve had to learn to trust myself more.

Thank you for such a well constructed and honest answer. I deeply appreciate it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I got to say I dont feel as large as I am. at my max i was close to 450 lbs. I never felt like I was that heavy until I saw myself in a mirror. The funny thing was id see guys that looked Waaaay bigger then myself but they weighed less..funny thing that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Exactly. A few years ago there was a plus sized model that was pretty much everywhere. I said oh thank god at least I'm not as big as she is. My s/o humbled me lol

Now I'm like yup I am definitely that big... and I'm not now

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm also similar. I was 463 at my largest. Now, I knew that I was big, but I don't think I realized quite how big I was. Now that I've lost a lot of weight, I know that I look much better than I did, but sometimes I don't see much of a difference, even though I know that I look like a totally different person. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I'm excited about what I see and other days I don't like what I see so much. It's such a mind game.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I knew I was big and very overweight. I didn't really feel that big. I hated what I saw in pictures and denied to myself that I was actually that overweight. What told me was my shirt size, the fact that I had to ask for a seatbelt extension on a plane and the inability to <<warning, TMI>> wipe my behind and to roll out of bed in the morning. Since having surgery it has almost reversed everything. I don't feel like I've lost much looking in the mirror but my husband keeps saying how much I've changed. I'm not down a shirt size yet but they fit better, I can get out of bed and do other things easier. my cholesterol and glucose tests are half of what they used to be. Everything is improving but I still worry that I'm not going to get to the size I want as if its going to stop tomorrow and I'll always be fat. Then sometimes something in me says, wow. you look so much better. I can feel bones I haven't felt in a long time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
28 minutes ago, renjenn said:

Everything is improving but I still worry that I'm not going to get to the size I want as if its going to stop tomorrow and I'll always be fat.

I felt the same way. I had failed at so many diet attempts. I felt my weight loss was too good to be true. You are doing fantastic. Hold on to the “wow” moments. You have many good things coming your way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, renjenn said:

. Everything is improving but I still worry that I'm not going to get to the size I want as if its going to stop tomorrow and I'll always be fat. Then sometimes something in me says, wow. you look so much better. I can feel bones I haven't felt in a long time.

RIGHT? I have Collarbones! I can cross my legs now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
So we are very similar in that I never saw myself as being as big as I was. my heaviest was 364 and I am 5' 10in tall. (used to be six foot but I am shrinking lol) So now I see my body changing and an totally enthralled with the changes. and what it can do. twisty yoga bendy poses, jump rope. run.

I guess everybody is different but I am 2lbs away form 100lb loss and I feel sexy, sassy and FREE
I'm very similar to you as well, heaviest weight 362, 5'10". I knew I was big but after seeing myself in my daughter's wedding photos, I was like Whoa, I didn't realize I looked like that! I'm down 66lbs since February and very pleased so far. Congrats on being so close to 100#. When was your surgery and did you get the sleeve?

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
29 minutes ago, Colchabay said:

I'm very similar to you as well, heaviest weight 362, 5'10". I knew I was big but after seeing myself in my daughter's wedding photos, I was like Whoa, I didn't realize I looked like that! I'm down 66lbs since February and very pleased so far. Congrats on being so close to 100#. When was your surgery and did you get the sleeve?

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using BariatricPal mobile app

Dec 11, 2018, sleeve was done

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had my sleeve when I got too old, tired and heavy to put the game face on to get past the preconceptions.

For many years my ambition got me to work and events and my brains and way with words carried me through. I avoided social situations with all but closest friends as time went on. When I ceased feeling that hunger for a success that frankly cost too much in terms of sanity and family time, that final shred keeping me motivated and active got lost.

Being at home with my family I forgot my size until rare occasions I had to venture out. At those points, confronted by an inability to hide the rolls, my self-image broke and hate in. Until then I had managed to disassociate naked huge me from the rest of me.

Posted elsewhere that about 3 weeks after surgery I called a truce with my naked self. I began caring for my skin, even the parts with heinously crepey skin tears and overhangs. Ruined parts I had treated like a hoarders in denial.

Now trying to shape a self-image that projects that I don’t want to ever try and compete on a ‘socially acceptable’ playing field looks and weight-wise even if my BMI says I may qualify for the first time in my life. Sure as hell not gonna start paying for pro blow drys, fake tans, Brazilians, manicures and spider lashes for nights out. Reckon it might have to be purple hair, purple clothes or both, cos for all the discomfort, aches, sweating, and periodic self doubt I did like the ‘f@!# you’ attitude I owned professionally and personally when I didn’t fit into a convenient pigeonhole.

TL:DR I was intentionally dismorphic, and not sure how to navigate the new ‘normal’ :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Featured Surgeons

    1. Masoud Rezvani

      Woodbridge, Virginia 22191

    2. Lisa Medvetz

      Downingtown, Pennsylvania 19335
      800-282-0066

  • Most popular:

  • Recent Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • christa_reid

      Hi I  am new here and I am going to have the gastric sleeve next month. I have to pay out of pocket so it is going quite quickly. The longer I wait the more bad stories I hear. I weigh 315 and 61 years old so I have a lot to lose. Any advice is welcome
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ProudGrammy

      Georgia on my mind - off to grand-daughters high school graduation - she's smart and cute as a button, just like her grammy,☺️
      kathy
      · 2 replies
      1. SusieQ2019

        Congratulations to her Proud Granny, and wishing her a bright and successful future.

      2. Orchids&Dragons

        Congrats to your granddaughter! Have a wonderful trip!

    • *Meaghan*

      Went to my initial consult with the Bariatric surgeon/ program I chose. Came home with a folder full of information & helpful organization of all the testing that needs to be completed while I complete the required nutritional counseling. She also let me know my insurance typically takes 6 weeks to reply with authorization when submitted, so that puts my potential surgery date near the new year if all stays on track  I felt comfortable with her, in our discussions she agrees that I am a good candidate for the Gastric Bypass. I appreciated the 'introduction' class that was given after the consult with the surgeon where I was given this binder of every referral (from her, not my pcp referrals), & contact information for all the testing needed to make my contacts/calls tomorrow morning even easier I start my nutrition classes on June 5th, so that's when the clock will start toward insurance approval & getting the tool to help me reach my goals
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Torie Faye

      I had my Bypass Surgery on 04/25/2019 I'd weighted before surgery 308 and now 285. I get depressed because I thought it would be more. I follow all instructions from Dr.. Green walk every day work out and eating solid foods 
      · 1 reply
      1. ProudGrammy

        welcome welcome - 23 lbs pre/post op is great. you are doing fine. keep up the good work. kathy

    • MrsGamgee

      Day 5 post-op... didn't sleep great last night, lots of gas pain and it was my first night without using the rx pain meds. I'm tired and feeling rather stupid. My nurse is supposed to call today for a check in, so I'm debating taking a nap now and risk missing her call, or forcing myself to stay awake and pray she calls soon. Also, showering should be considered a workout... just doing the basics used up all my energy. Weight is slowly working its way down. I know that I shouldn't be on the scale yet, but I couldn't resist. I'm down almost 9lb down since surgery. Yay!
      · 1 reply
      1. Emilia Danciu

        You are allowed to feel tired, take naps and only do the minimum this soon after the surgery. Listen to your body and be good to yourself at this time. Most important things to care about at this time is hydration and protein. It is a full-time job to stay on top of that and prioritize your energy there for now. Just give your body the time to heal and adjust, don’t rush the recovery.

  • Trending Topics

  • Magazine Articles

  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs
    ×