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I can tell you I have more self-esteem now at 240lbs than I did at 140. I was skinny and fit and had a 6-pack and HATED my body. I thought I was the most disgusting thing to walk this earth. Becoming fat was in a twisted way a blessing because I learned to love me for ME and not for how I looked. I was vain and self-absorbed and would pick at every invisible fat roll when I was skinny. Self-esteem should never be connected to the way you look. The only reason it is for some people, I think, is because society says it's "bad and wrong" to be overweight. Well, as a former skinny person... if you don't love yourself, you won't love your body no matter how it looks. Now I hope to lose the weight so my inner confidence matches my outward appearance.

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Why do we equate weight loss with self esteem, love to hear your answers
In my experience, it seems like we have been in the diet mentality for so long that we're convinced that "thin=happy." That's such backwards thinking!

In the media, especially diet commercials, we're shown pictures of larger people in disheveled clothes, eating terrible food and looking miserable while the thinner and more attractive (by society's standards) people are happy and doing exciting things.

We are fed (pardon the pun) the idea that our self esteem and happiness is contingent on our weight when we are kids (being bullied, jokes by family, left out of teams) and it sets our expectations for the future.

If we can wrap our brains around understanding that our self esteem is within our control and not dependent on the opinions of others, we can start feeling more determined to make changes that stick.

THAT could be, and honestly IS the key to real, longterm weight loss surgery success.

*steps off soapbox*

Sent from my SM-G930V using BariatricPal mobile app

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On 12/28/2018 at 14:24, mahelpme said:



Why do we equate weight loss with self esteem, love to hear your answers


We....or you?

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Because it was drilled into us, only. thin to the point of scrawny people are happy, you're plump, fat or even obese, you can't be happy, even if you accept yourself as valuable, think you're very fine as a person, believe you are doing the best you can for yourself, if you can't see your ribs stickingbout, your collarbone prominate, bones don't predominate over flesh, you haven't done enough . 1 lettuce leaf spritzed with EVOO, that's enough lunch for Anyone!

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I meant collectively but yeah, its so in our faces to be model like. I'm glad we are seeing more varity in model size, ethnic backgound, more inclusive

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Thank you for your comments on self esteem question. Looks like we are on the same page, but I still see women at the gym checking picking proding every little thing about themselves

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I hope we are raising the next generation of girls to love themselves better and accept that. they are worthy individuals. It will be a better world when we can do for ourselves instead of having someone put expectations of where they think we belong. I know I was so busy making others happy that I lost myself in the process. And being a soggy doormat is not a worthwhile goal.

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