Needing to Vent
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Did anyone have gastric bypass and at the same time fix a hiatal and umbilical hernia. I have been fighting like crazy to avoid surgery and I know in my heart this is the surgery that will probably be the best thing in the world for me. FEAR has led me to believe it will be me who gets a stricture or me who has gallstones or me who has nausea and vomiting everyday or any other random negative thing. I suffer from anxiety and panic disorder and this is probably the 3rd time I have been in a Weight Center and every time the topic of bariatric surgery comes up, I fly right out the door. I was told today I have a small hiatal hernia and I feel like I have been given the final sign that it's time for me to "Grow Up" and realize it's what is best for me to do and have the surgery. I developed high blood pressure and chocked it up to "ok a pill will help," developed being pre-diabetic and put on metformin which does a job on my stomach and said "ok, this will prevent me from being diabetic(full blown). Now after being in the ER Monday night for a kidney stone, I was shown on the CT-Scan, a small hiatal hernia along with an umbilical hernia I developed a year ago. Sorry for the novel but I am at my lowest point and I needed someone to tell me "you can do this and come out ok". I know recovery is a tough road and it will require everything I have to not scare myself to death but I truly don't want to live this way anymore. I'm from Boston and will be at Mass General with some of the best doctors in the world yet the fear doesn't leave me, I'm sorry to vent and write a novel but I needed to write down what I'm feeling