I am 5 months post-op and have been seeing this guy for the last 6 months and just recently in the last 2 weeks he has become shady and not himself.. today while I dinner with my parents he told me I looked like a hooker and that he doesn’t like all the attention I get now... I am feeling insecure about myself and my relationship with him... can anyone help with this topic? I just feel lost and alone..

Stop wasting your time with this jackhole. What a piece of sh*t. If I lived near you I'd lay him on his ass.

Listen, take the advise of all these people and get rid of this guy. There is literally nothing he is doing for you that you can't do for yourself. There is someone perfect for you out there. Don't forget this D-bag though, use him as a reminder of what you don't need in your life. This is your life and YOU need to make sure your happy with it. Maybe part of the reason why you started this journey to begin with. Best of luck to you!!!

3 hours ago, lex2287 said:

I know... easier said than done... I’m emotionally invested and it sucks... my last boyfriend said I was repulsive so comments like those make me wonder if there is something wrong with me.. :-/ I just hope there’s someone better out there for me...

finding someone that cares for you starts by caring for yourself. dump him and work on learning to like and accept yourself. When you like who you are you will find someone.

the kind of man that is attracted to insecurity and self doubt is the kind that wants to own a person not partner and support a person.

please love yourself enough to walk away from this train wreck in the making.

I am 5 months post-op and have been seeing this guy for the last 6 months and just recently in the last 2 weeks he has become shady and not himself.. today while I dinner with my parents he told me I looked like a hooker and that he doesn’t like all the attention I get now... I am feeling insecure about myself and my relationship with him... can anyone help with this topic? I just feel lost and alone..

Even though i am a guy and i am violating the bro code but screw him he is just insecure and cant handle the new hotter more confident you. I believe u can do better!


Surgery Date 19/4/2018
SW 164kg 361lbs
CW 149.4kg 328.6lbs
Target 1 120kg 264lbs
Final Target 110kg 242lbs

Yeah nope the f**k up out there like Beyonce's irreplaceable. Dead ass. Pardon the language but f**k the guy

Sent from my SM-T380 using BariatricPal App

Thank you all for your kind words.. makes waking up to start my day after a sleepless night seem a little better. I need to work on myself and not let people try to bring me down. I have waited so long for this day to be here and I don’t want anyone to take this time in my life away from me.

Psssht, girl, he is NOT worth it. I have had x’s in my past who did the same, and time and time again have taken me away from myself. Thinking I wasnt good enough. No, the problem is I was too good for them. I was sleeved in Oct. and I met a guy in mid
February. (CDFF app) our first date was planet fitness! We met at starbucks in target. He knows and is very understanding. He is my inspiration. I have been really getting down in myself because of this 6 or so week stall. He kicks me back to reality. He gets me to look at pics of how far I have come, and makes me hold up/try on the jeans I used to wear. He helps me not be/ get discouraged. He isnt isnt super skinny, and he is not fat. He has a tad extra. But he wants to get back into shape. (He had a heart attack a year and a half ago)


SW 350 (11/15)
BSW 260 (10/17/17)
CW 207 (4/24/18)
RGW 199
GW 175

11 hours ago, lex2287 said:

I know... easier said than done... I’m emotionally invested and it sucks... my last boyfriend said I was repulsive so comments like those make me wonder if there is something wrong with me.. :-/ I just hope there’s someone better out there for me...

Advice from an old chick who has been there...

This is only a 6 month investment for you. You already have red flags about him. Is he emotionally invested calling you a hooker in front of your parents? What would you say to a friend that was in your situation?

You deserve and can ge a better man in your life. Why settle for less than you deserve. You are wasting your precious time.

Use this time losing weight to love yourself, heal from past hurts. Get your mojo and confidence up. That confidence is going to attract the right kind of men.

Start counseling now. Now is the time for you. To fix yourself from the inside out. If you need him for financial security at this point in time, choose your timing. But stop feeding a dry well. Don't go to the well anymore and start emotionally detaching from him. Then leave when you're healthier and ready to fly. You may not be at that point yet. But choose your battles AND your timing.

12 hours ago, lex2287 said:

Thank you. I was feeling good about myself until he started acting the way he is... he hasn’t tried to sabotage my weight loss just makes fun of me for exercising and eating healthy. I just don’t feel pretty now.

That is sabotage.

Ok so, I am wondering how OP is doing? Have you kicked him to the curb?
I am still with the fantastic guy, I seriously see what I have done wrong. I hated my physical appearance. I loved myself, inside, but all we see is outside. And that is so hard when you look in the mirror. Now that I am down 145 lbs, I wonder what I would look like if I met this guy sooner? Failed relationships and divorce have hit me hard. On 1/1/16, I started a new journey. For ME! To love myself inside and out, no matter what! And some days I struggle with that.. especially the last few days (I have now lost most of my hair and look like Joe Dirt, and today was the anniversary of the death of my mother 4 years ago, and the birthdate of my best friend who died in 2016) and I have made it through. Please dont think you will be alone forever. You wont. You need to find mr right, not mr right now. Love alllll of you, then look.. you may be surprised!

A little wise musing for you "youngins"
Taking back or staying with a man who done you wrong is like thinking milk is still good when it's sat out without refrigeration in the hot sun.?

6 hours ago, kandywolf said:

Ok so, I am wondering how OP is doing? Have you kicked him to the curb?
I am still with the fantastic guy, I seriously see what I have done wrong. I hated my physical appearance. I loved myself, inside, but all we see is outside. And that is so hard when you look in the mirror. Now that I am down 145 lbs, I wonder what I would look like if I met this guy sooner? Failed relationships and divorce have hit me hard. On 1/1/16, I started a new journey. For ME! To love myself inside and out, no matter what! And some days I struggle with that.. especially the last few days (I have now lost most of my hair and look like Joe Dirt, and today was the anniversary of the death of my mother 4 years ago, and the birthdate of my best friend who died in 2016) and I have made it through. Please dont think you will be alone forever. You wont. You need to find mr right, not mr right now. Love alllll of you, then look.. you may be surprised!

I am the OP... turns out he has violent tendencies.. his behavior lately has been very erratic and about a week ago he was drinking a lot.. we got into a verbal argument because he said I didn’t care about him or love him and he hit me once in the face and another time in the arm. Charges have been filed and I have a protection order in tact. It has taken a lot for me to realize that I deserve much better and someone that will support me and encourage me to follow my goals and dreams. I will not let him control my life. Everyday is a new beginning for me.. I just ran my first 5k and finished it and couldn’t be happier.. my weight loss has slowed but any loss is a loss. I will do this for me!

39 minutes ago, lex2287 said:

I am the OP... turns out he has violent tendencies.. his behavior lately has been very erratic and about a week ago he was drinking a lot.. we got into a verbal argument because he said I didn’t care about him or love him and he hit me once in the face and another time in the arm. Charges have been filed and I have a protection order in tact. It has taken a lot for me to realize that I deserve much better and someone that will support me and encourage me to follow my goals and dreams. I will not let him control my life. Everyday is a new beginning for me.. I just ran my first 5k and finished it and couldn’t be happier.. my weight loss has slowed but any loss is a loss. I will do this for me!

I'm really sorry it came to violence but am glad you are now free of this a**hole.

Much love to you and I hope you now go from strength to strength.

On 06/08/2018 at 06:18, lex2287 said:

I am the OP... turns out he has violent tendencies.. his behavior lately has been very erratic and about a week ago he was drinking a lot.. we got into a verbal argument because he said I didn’t care about him or love him and he hit me once in the face and another time in the arm. Charges have been filed and I have a protection order in tact. It has taken a lot for me to realize that I deserve much better and someone that will support me and encourage me to follow my goals and dreams. I will not let him control my life. Everyday is a new beginning for me.. I just ran my first 5k and finished it and couldn’t be happier.. my weight loss has slowed but any loss is a loss. I will do this for me!

I am glad you found out sooner, rather than later. I am sorr6 to hear this, but I am glad you went through with charges and pfa in place. You are a strong woman, and I am glad you are so much happier! We have struggled for so long, and we deserve this. In a real relationship, they won’t question your every move, throw it in your face that you dont love them, and make you feel like you are the bad one. Nope it is them, because that is narcissistic behavior. I am glad you are out of that. Live for you and your new life! Keep on keeping on!

This turned out so scary. I'm glad you're all right and moving on with your new, healthier (physically & mentally) life. He didn't have the right stuff to be part of that. Congrats on the 5K!