Hi all, I'm new here. I'm 33, 5'0" and currently 215 lbs. I have a BMI of 42.

I will be starting my 6 month surgeon weigh-ins on May 3rd (2 weeks away). I am going to try to lose no more weight until my first official weigh in so my BMI doesn't fall below 40.

I guess my guilt is that currently my 14 year old daughter wants to lose weight too. She only weighs one pound less than me, but is 5'2 -5'3, so she is on the obese range. I plan on having her follow the same diet my nutritionist puts me on; however, I fear that once I get surgery she will get discouraged if I am losing weight so much faster than she is. Hopefully that makes sense...

She is excited and happy for me, I just don't want her to resent me or give up trying to get healthy when we don't have the same results.

Thanks for listening!!

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Maybe it will help her to understand the difference between losing weight with bariatric surgery versus without a tool if you have her go with you to one of your appointments with the surgeon or even the nutritionist. So that she doesn’t get discouraged when you both begin your journey together.

and maybe plan exercises to do together and goal gifts, such as when you both hit a goal, you get your nails done, but a new pair piece of clothing or see a movie etc. and make sure that you will both wait until the other hits their goal as well so you experience it together.

Don’t feel guilty, you’re doing the best for you and your family.

This sort of happened with my mom and I. She had bypass when I was a teenager. She didn’t involve me as much as it sounds like you plan on involving your daughter. So I kind of watched, tweaked some of her meal prep stuff, and exercised, but it never stuck for me. Probably why I grew up and chose to get the sleeve, ha! Hopefully she gets involved and makes positive changes too!

A 14 year old that follows a moderate eating plan with physical activity will likely lose weight quite quickly I think. Enough to where the two of you could motivate each other to stay with it and get healthy together.

Find a counselor/therapist you both can go to - separate appointments of course - one that has success with kids. Have her see a nutritionist too - as growing kids have different requirements than adults. Find a physical activity that she has always really wanted to do - riding horses, ice skating, dance, whatever. And even if it takes some extreme budgeting to provide - do it. It will go a long way towards her self esteem and promote life long activity.

Let her be aware that it is so difficult to lose weight when you're older that's why some people need a tool like the sleeve. Also I like the suggestion earlier of taking her along for seminars and doctor's visits so she can understand what's going on.