Good afternoon everyone. Tomorrow makes a week post-op and I’m having problems. It seems as if everyone around me is eating and being insensitive about what I’m going through. Has anyone else had that problem and do you have my suggestions that may help me? Much appreciated.

From what you've said I'm not 100% sure I understand what the problem is. Are the people around you trying to enable bad behaviors while you are in (I'm assuming) the liquid phase of you post op diet. If they are simply eating and that is bothering you, I can totally understand though I don't think they are being insensitive. For now you have your food and they have theirs, that shouldn't stop you from "sharing" a meal together with these folks (even if your meal is a protein shake).

Everyone is different with how they recover, but can I ask, is the issue that their eating is making you feel genuinely hungry, or is it just that you wish you could be eating whatever it is that they are?

What others have said Go to another room or take a walk outside. Divorce yourself from the situation.

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I have asked them not to eat things in front of me and I’ve expressed how it’s made me feel. If I’m not around it my mind doesn’t think about it but if I right there and you keep saying oh this is so good or being overly dramatic about the taste I think that’s being insensitive then their response is to stomp off mad and slam doors and say I want them to feel sorry for me and I’m wrong for asking them not to eat in front of me. It makes me feel horrible that I can’t express myself

1 minute ago, jaygermany said:

I have asked them not to eat things in front of me and I’ve expressed how it’s made me feel. If I’m not around it my mind doesn’t think about it but if I right there and you keep saying oh this is so good or being overly dramatic about the taste I think that’s being insensitive then their response is to stomp off mad and slam doors and say I want them to feel sorry for me and I’m wrong for asking them not to eat in front of me. It makes me feel horrible that I can’t express myself

I can completely relate to the frustration that you are experiencing, and obviously if these folks (I'm assuming family) are intentionally overplaying their interaction with their food then obviously that's a d!ck move. That said, to some extent you are wrong for "asking them not to eat in front of me." Yes it would be great if they could rejigger their routines to try to minimize putting you in situations that that make you uncomfortable, but as @frust8 rightfully points out you could just as easily leave the room.

At the end of the day most of us have had these surgeries to help us get healthy and help us adjust to what have probably been long term unhealthy relationships with food. While it's great when our families go that extra mile to make our recovery easier it's on us to remove ourselves from those situations that cause us this discomfort.

I’m in the living room and everyone always eats in their rooms. Now all of a sudden they feel the need to eat in my face and like tease me with what they’re eating. So I don’t think I’m wrong for asking them not to. I shouldn’t have to leave the space that’s designed for me to recover (because all bedrooms are upstairs but bathroom is downstairs) because someone wants to be a jerk

Sit them down and read them the riot act, those perverse so and sos. Either they are doing it on purpose, they did it without thinking or they don't care about you And your feelings all that much.[emoji30]

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9 minutes ago, jaygermany said:

I’m in the living room and everyone always eats in their rooms. Now all of a sudden they feel the need to eat in my face and like tease me with what they’re eating. So I don’t think I’m wrong for asking them not to. I shouldn’t have to leave the space that’s designed for me to recover (because all bedrooms are upstairs but bathroom is downstairs) because someone wants to be a jerk

Of course if they have altered their behavior to mess with you then hit them all with a wooden spoon (they deserve it). That said I wanted to ask how is you recovery going? The way that you are talking about the living room it almost sounds like you are using it as your dedicated recovery space, which begs the question how is your recovery going? I ask because for the most part while pain is normal you should be out walking quite a bit at a week out (I'm assuming surgery was VSG or RNY) and stairs shouldn't be an impediment.

I think that if pain was preventing me from being up and about for that long that I might start getting frustrated with nearly everything my family did even when it wasn't intentional (or at least not malicious).

After years of being banded, I am now on liquid diet. They saw a food pouch forming and removed all liquid from my band. I have been back on liquids since Thursday. I know it's hard when the ppl around you are eating . When it's meal time I get my children and husbands food on the table and I have my broth in soup bowl and use my spoon. I know I'm not really eating food but it feels like I am. I even get the frozen ice cups so I can eat that with a spoon. The liquid part of your diet is important so don't rush it.

Soon enough, the mushy stage will be here and you can enjoy lots of things. My favorite is mashed refried beans with smooth taco sauce some shredded low fat cheese and a dollop of fat free sour cream. It will be amazing.this is a recipe I lived on when I first got banded and made it to the mushy stage. My doctor gave us recipes that made it way easier in the mushy stage. Good luck you'll do Great!

I’m in the living room and everyone always eats in their rooms. Now all of a sudden they feel the need to eat in my face and like tease me with what they’re eating. So I don’t think I’m wrong for asking them not to. I shouldn’t have to leave the space that’s designed for me to recover (because all bedrooms are upstairs but bathroom is downstairs) because someone wants to be a jerk

Sounds like they want attention. They might be scared too. They are use to you eating what they eat. Kids. Yikes sometimes it’s hard to love them. But they tend to be selfish first. You can do this. Be strong in yourself.

@clsummrtall and others. I just drank,my 1st Premier Protein drink. No,it is not getting ready for surgery time yet, I am frustratingly pre surg. I'm at the doctor's office, didn't have time to eat breakfast, slept in because I was up too late posting on BP. Yeah I admit it! Having laid in a small supply because I want my surgery a whole lot more than anyone wants to perform my RnY. I popped one open, a Peaches and Cream one and its not TOO bad. Very faint evaporated milk aftertaste, but not too shabby. After my future pre surg liquid diet which,since I'm in the high 40s BMI could easily be more than 2 weeks, I probably will grow to loathe, the reason I'm posting Now. I t says right on the side of the Little bottle'-like container "not for Weight reduction" , who do they think they're fooling? What other class of people beside weight reducers and maybe body builders would drink it? At $7.27 at my local Wal-Mart for a 4pack it's a whole lot more expensive than colas or even a milkshake at MickeyD's. Just thought you all deserved a good giggle today! ,,Your future meal mate Frust8. ?

It sucks to be in an environment where you feel unsupported. It’s a major reason for many addictive relapses, not just food. You have to use self care practices and while it may seem to them selfish it’s ok.....they are!....and you are worthy of having a say and choice in what you want in your life. I would suggest for the time being to eat separately. Stick to your Bariatric schedule and drink your meals when your supposed to. When they are settling down to eat take this opportunity to leave, take a walk, journal or scrapbook in your room, walk or brush your pet. Something repetitive that can be done nightly with a purpose of self care for yourself.