Question; can I document an entire six months as it happens? The only way I can tell the journey is as it happens.

How I got here; Hi! My name is Johnnie, and I am morbidly obese, and I am also a food addict. 27-years ago, I was a dope smokin, cigarette puffin. soon to be alcoholic. This is when god sent me one of his purist angels, we will call her Elizabeth. This angel accepted me for who I was, but loved me for who I am. When my destructive lifestyle began to corrupt her, she gave me an ultimatum; lose the pot, or lose me... I cannot have both. 27-years ago I quit the destructive habit of smoking dope. Elizabeth and I were also married.

Retaining the other two bad habits of smoking and drinking, I had also started to pack on the pounds. My married weight some 27-years ago fluctuated between 195 to 200 lbs. Over thsee years I tried the Atkins diet, which worked initially, but not before the steadily gaining back the weight. Fast forward to 2002, my weight blew up to 260 pounds. This was also the time my doctor started me on my first of many high blood pressure meds. At this time I also wanted to quit smoking, so my doctor prescribed Welbutrin, and within a month I became a non smoker. This about the time that my drinking got worse, and my weight started to soar again. A brief try at Atkins again proved futile, as my metabolism was not as young as it used to be.

At 300 +/- pounds in 2008, I quit drinking and started dieting again; this time it was the 1600 calorie diet with a daily dose of Phentermine. I managed a measly 50lb loss, before reversing direction. I tried Phentermine a couple more times, and even tossed in the 1200 calorie diet. Nevertheless, my weight was now getting out of hand. I have been plagued with plantar faciitus, sore knees, accompanied by a (un-)healthy dose of low self esteem, it became clear, I need help.

2017 arrived, and I decided to change occupations. In April I started a new career as a professional truck driver. I do not need to describe a truckers lifestyle, accept to say, 2017 was not my best year for decision making. July I came off the truck with a kidney stone. It took 2-attempts to get the stone out, but that little bugger came out. Three days after the last kidney stone procedure, was rushed to the emergency room and diagnosed with multiple pulmonary emboli (blood clots). It was deduced that I got deep vein thrombosis from the truck driver life style, producing the clots that nested in my lungs. Weight in July and August was 298.

I should note here, that through all of the years I also suffered from acid reflux, which I treated with baking soda and water. But the acid reflux became severe about 5-years ago, before I managed to get a grip on it. I have been reflux free for the last 4-years. This was about the time I was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea and put on the CPAP machine.

If you skipped ahead in this story, just know that I suffer like so many here, with many of the issues surrounding those two nasty words; Morbid Obesity.

Elizabeth, has never left my side, she has been my rock, my angel, my best friend for life, even now more than ever! With my background story out of the way, I can begin my journey now...

My mother is taking contrave even though she has had gastric bypass surgery.

Well I do myself take Wellbutrin but mine is for mildish.depression, the appetite[emoji478] suppression is just another benefit. Anything to tame the grehlin monster, subdue the gastritis and keep Hector the baby ulcer sound asleep.[emoji12][emoji7][emoji12]

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FYI Contrave is Mysimba in the European Union, still a diet drug--- Wellbutrin and Narcan in combination.[emoji113] Guess it must work..[emoji10]

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Wellbutrin and Naltrexone. Narcan is Nalaxone. Two quite different things. Narcan is an emergency drug used to treat an opiate overdose. Naltrexone is used to treat dependence and they find it also does well with compulsive overeating/binge eating disorder. Wellbutrin is a unique anxiety/depression medication that works on neurotransmitters and again has been useful for compulsive behaviors and addiction.

These are next generation medications that are very different and treat some of the underlying issues leading to obesity for some rather than the “speed” type amphetamines in the past, and have a much better safety profile.

But they will likely only work for those who eat compulsively/binge eat.

Then somebody better straighten out Wikipedia, I was dumb enough to believe them. My Bad![emoji58]

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Today, has been kind of rough on me with regards to my march to surgery. Sometimes I dwell (or obsess) far to long on a thought. This time it is my alter ego fighting with me; It is telling me not to do it, please don't damage "our" stomach...

I'm litterally sitting here fighting a small war within myself; "why am I going to traumatize my stomach... Why are you going to remove 80% of our stomach... WHY?" Deep down, I know why, but my alter is just not up to speed... I know that I am unhealthy and slowly killing myself. But do you really need to mutilate us?

Anybody else play these mind games? Gosh, 5 more months of this and I am going to be frazzled!

It took me 2 years to actually make the decision for surgery. To me, it was an extreme last resort. But once I made the decision and began the process I felt good about it. Yes there were several days I thought I’d made wrong choice but I kept on with the process. I figured if I don’t want to do it I have right up until surgery day to change my mind. Well my surgery is in six days!!! April 9th I will enter the hospital and finally take my life back. I will have a tool to help me control the food. The food will no longer control me.

And everything in Flint will be fine and dandy on that day.I have ordered good weather that day from Amazon, if anyone can deliver they will. Of course nice Spring Weather may be on back-order or deleted from their distribution center. We may have to just wait and see![emoji3][emoji173][emoji3]PS Maybe I should have ordered from Alex at Bariatric Pals Store, they also have a good delivery record.

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I'm much better today And still on track. My doctors office called to remind me of my April 6th weigh-in appointment.

April 6, 2018 Family Doctor Visit (2 of 6)

Stats:

Weight: 316.6

BMI: 44.2

Zero if any change, but definitely no gain! Discussion with doctor involved going for some lab work (fasting) to make sure I am not having any issues with my sugar or thyroid. Between the first visit and today's visit, I was all over the scale (down to 308 last week and up to 316 this week). I was frustrated with myself to say the least... but then this is why I am here in the first place, because I do not seem to posses the ability to lose the weight on my own.

On a finer note; because I have a history of blood clotting, and I have a sedentary job (and life style), I had my doctor write me a note to get an elevated desk lift for my keyboard, mouse & monitors. That way I can stand for a portion of the day while I work my desk job!

Next milestone is my first of three visits to my nutritionist, that will be on April 11. And on the 22nd of this month I will report back to my hematologist about my current quest. The hematologist visit is a re-check, as I am on blood thinners due to my clotting issue, but this doctor is also the doctor who recommended I seek weight-loss surgery in the first place...

Glad to see continued movement on your journey. There are people I enjoy postings from and I count you among them. I was enjoying myself today reading away until I saw a posting from one of the few I found a detriment, gosh I had hoped she would go inactive but maybe she is of some use to another poster. Maybe I'll live and let live[emoji20]

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Thank you frustr8, the comments are appreciated.

So a bit of a vent; my lab work, which is usually covered by insurance, cost me $32 today. Note here, this is not the lab work that is required for weight loss surgery, no, this is the lab work that my family doctor wanted to have done to check my sugar and thyroid. I cannot wait to get healthier so I can stop paying all of my new doctor friends...

In passing, I mentioned to a co-worker that I was looking at getting weight loss surgery in the next 4-months. Her reply was that "surgery is too invasive..." She recommended I "take pills" instead. Her thought was that medicine had advanced so much that obesity could be cured with a prescription. She did not know a specific brand or drug, but she remembered reading it somewhere...

Our talk was not a heart-to-heart, as this is the first time I had talked to her in a long time, as she works in a different department now, so I just smiled and waved. I do not mind telling people about my journey; sometimes you meet an agreeable personality, and sometimes you do not... everyone want to mean well, but in the end, it is my journey to carry.

And who wants to be on pills for the rest of your life?

Exactly! Most recently I let a doctor convince me to take a pill for my Psoriasis. I started a regimen of Otesla, which for all intent and purpose, sent my Psoriasis into remission. However, the pill also made me feel bad all of the time, and gave me headaches. Seeing as I am still taking a blood thinner, I was not able to take any over the counter meds like aspirin or Ibuprofen, so I ended up taking acetaminophen (daily) to counter act the side effects of the Otesla...

I do not wish to get into taking a pill to cure a pill that was used to cure a pill etc etc. I ultimately took myself off of Otesla, and the unfortunate side effect being, I now have full blown psoriasis...

An Update to my Weight Loss Surgery Journey...

At my last doctors appointment, Friday April 5th; my doctor recommended that I get some lab work done to check my fasting insulin and thyroid condition. I had the lab work done yesterday, and my result were called back to me today:

Thyroid is normal, however, my fasting insulin was high. Normal is 2.6 to 24.9 and I came in at 35.7. The doctors office stated that they want me to start taking Metformin to help manage the insulin levels. The analysis being that the higher insulin levels, could be the cause to my lack of weight loss.

My next mile-stone on my weight loss journey is tomorrow when I meet with my nutritionist for the first time. Note; this visit is also a fasting visit. I plan to bring up the current diagnosis with her, so that she can correctly tailor a diet for me. Looks like my life-style changes are about to get real!

More after tomorrows visit.

Edited April 10, 20188 yr by Dragon64