my first appt is tomorrow. I am self paying and was wondering what they do on the first visit. I have pain in my left knee and calf and wonder if they check for clots and such before doing the surgery. I am 55 and lost my hub 3 months ago in a terrible accident and was hoping I am doing the right thing since I am already experiencing grief emotions.

Clearly you're going through a lot right now. I love that in the face of extreme difficulty, you're choosing to take care of yourself. That's wonderful! During your appointment, tell your surgical team not only about your home life but also your knee & calf. They should be very attentive to your concerns. Good luck. You are not alone.

Any updates on how things are going for you? If you need a shoulder to cry on or anything else just ask. I'm pre surg myself, if I can't give you an answer I'm sure one of our veterans on Bariatric Pal can. At any rate welcome my friend.

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

Kadidy...when you go to grief counseling, one of the first things they tell you is to try not to make any major decisions that require major change for the first year. No big moves, no changes of career, nothing that might be influenced by emotions you might come to later regret.

Going through this surgery is emotionally hard. You lose one of your lifelong coping tools...food. Without it, it's easy to fall victim to even more harmful vices, particularly during times of intense grief.

I think it's wonderful that you want to address your health and start working on your weight, but I think slowing down might be an appropriate approach. Give yourself time to find new comfort habits and new ways of dealing with stress while working on your eating habits and exercise. All of these things will be an important part of your success.

I'm not saying not to do weight loss surgery....I wish I'd done mine years ago. I'm just saying...give yourself a chance to grieve and adjust. I think taking on two major life changes at the same time might be too much.

Please take care of yourself and know I'm rooting for you.

Kadidy,,,, I too was in the mist of major grieving when I started on my journey. And I was also self pay for the first 5 months but they also had me in grief counseling. I am in my late 50’s and now have no family at all for support ( one daughter been estranged for 13 yrs (narcissistic)and her kids and the other daughter about the same length of time (controlling hubby) and loss of my only brother and last of any family. But after going through some of the counseling I have found that this is giving me a reason and purpose.. I used to be in the hospice and also funeral profession ( not at same time) but I found that because of my grieving I needed a purpose in life and that purpose is now taking care of me. This is a whole new chapter and I know as I go through this one I will be starting other chapters.
If this is your first appointment then you will have time to go through the counseling and also prepare for the surgery. Because of the grieving I was required to go thru the counseling and now feel so much stronger and more than ready for the surgery in a couple of days. I still have my sad days but I also have something to look forward to and also know my parents and brother would be so happy for me.
Keep in touch and you will be in my thoughts and prayers ~

On 1/27/2018 at 11:55 PM, Cowgirl12 said:

Kadidy,,,, I too was in the mist of major grieving when I started on my journey. And I was also self pay for the first 5 months but they also had me in grief counseling. I am in my late 50’s and now have no family at all for support ( one daughter been estranged for 13 yrs (narcissistic)and her kids and the other daughter about the same length of time (controlling hubby) and loss of my only brother and last of any family. But after going through some of the counseling I have found that this is giving me a reason and purpose.. I used to be in the hospice and also funeral profession ( not at same time) but I found that because of my grieving I needed a purpose in life and that purpose is now taking care of me. This is a whole new chapter and I know as I go through this one I will be starting other chapters.
If this is your first appointment then you will have time to go through the counseling and also prepare for the surgery. Because of the grieving I was required to go thru the counseling and now feel so much stronger and more than ready for the surgery in a couple of days. I still have my sad days but I also have something to look forward to and also know my parents and brother would be so happy for me.
Keep in touch and you will be in my thoughts and prayers ~

Will keep you updated I had a dopller which was fine no blood clots getting a stress test tomorrow which I am worried because I have left knee arthritis. After this I need a sleep study I didnt realize all these tests were involved but I am glad they are doing them. just a little poke in my bank account tho since I do not have health insurance. Thank you for the good vibes!!

On 1/27/2018 at 11:36 PM, Creekimp13 said:

Kadidy...when you go to grief counseling, one of the first things they tell you is to try not to make any major decisions that require major change for the first year. No big moves, no changes of career, nothing that might be influenced by emotions you might come to later regret.

Going through this surgery is emotionally hard. You lose one of your lifelong coping tools...food. Without it, it's easy to fall victim to even more harmful vices, particularly during times of intense grief.

I think it's wonderful that you want to address your health and start working on your weight, but I think slowing down might be an appropriate approach. Give yourself time to find new comfort habits and new ways of dealing with stress while working on your eating habits and exercise. All of these things will be an important part of your success.

I'm not saying not to do weight loss surgery....I wish I'd done mine years ago. I'm just saying...give yourself a chance to grieve and adjust. I think taking on two major life changes at the same time might be too much.

Please take care of yourself and know I'm rooting for you.

Will keep you updated I had a doopller which was fine no blood clots getting a stress test tomorrow which I am worried because I have left knee arthritis. After this I need a sleep study I didnt realize all these tests were involved but I am glad they are doing them. just a little poke in my bank account tho since I do not have health insurance. Thank you for the good vibes!!

On 1/27/2018 at 10:32 PM, kakatlady612 said:

Any updates on how things are going for you? If you need a shoulder to cry on or anything else just ask. I'm pre surg myself, if I can't give you an answer I'm sure one of our veterans on Bariatric Pal can. At any rate welcome my friend.

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

Will keep you updated I had a dopller which was fine no blood clots getting a stress test tomorrow which I am worried because I have left knee arthritis. After this I need a sleep study I didnt realize all these tests were involved but I am glad they are doing them. just a little poke in my bank account tho since I do not have health insurance. Thank you for the good vibes!!

On 1/19/2018 at 8:24 AM, DaleCruse said:

Clearly you're going through a lot right now. I love that in the face of extreme difficulty, you're choosing to take care of yourself. That's wonderful! During your appointment, tell your surgical team not only about your home life but also your knee & calf. They should be very attentive to your concerns. Good luck. You are not alone.

Thank you!! Will keep you updated I had a dopller which was fine no blood clots getting a stress test tomorrow which I am worried because I have left knee arthritis. After this I need a sleep study I didnt realize all these tests were involved but I am glad they are doing them. just a little poke in my bank account tho since I do not have health insurance. Thank you for the good vibes!!