So....I'm new to the group. Will finish my insurance mandated diet October 18th and will schedule ds surgery for November. I've been working for months with doctors and have informed my family of the plans. Now that it's getting closer to the date they're all starting to say things like...."why not just eat healthier?" Or "are you sure you can go your whole life eating like that?"

Anyone else have similar issues? How can I get them to see this is necessary for me to live a happier, healthier life?

I meant out of jealousy, not joyously. oops.

lol I got it.

They will come around after they see you're safely through surgery (much of that is fear) and of course seeing you loss and more importantly maintain the loss will make them believers. Try to use this as motivation to show them this was a good decision by sticking to the program, using your new tool to truly make a lifestyle change and maintain a healthy weight. You can do it!!!!

I think most of the time those comments come from fear and lack of understanding that by the time we reach the point of going for surgery, the majority of us have yo-yo dieted and tried so many different things, only to regain. Hopefully they will come around once the surgery is done and they see how much better you are feeling and how happy you are.

Some people do not understand obesity. If it was a matter of eating veges, we wouldn't have this disease. Our brains do not work that way. I can share with you that getting sleeved was the only thing that put me on the way back to being healthy. I still have ways to go but I have lost a chunk of weight already. Prior to surgery I tried every diet known to google that any clown put on the Internet and nothing worked.

Always lots of support here. I think we all find the same things, lack of support and understanding of what the struggle does to your mind and body over the yrs. Hopefully your non supportive support system will come around once they see how much better you feel after your surgery. Good luck, you have made the best decision of your life.

I just don't know why there is such a stigma around weight loss surgery. A good friend of mine looked at me like I was crazy to do such a thing....Yet she has had a tummy tuck, lipo and breast augmentation. I reminded her about her surgeries, and she said that it was okay though since everybody does it.

I told her that what she said was the dumbest thing I've ever heard. However, that is the mindset. If you have wls to improve your health, your happiness, and overall quality of life, people have a hard time with it, but root you on for plastics. I don't have anything against plastics, but it is nice to know that if I ever need any, I will have more support than I had with this surgery.

You have to do what you need to do for your health. Don't listen to any of your friends or family. They don't have to live with the outcome of doing the same old things that you have done up to now. Are they going to support you later on if you need a quadruple bypass to save your life? Of course they are....Then why would they not support you trying to put an end to that possibility?

Good luck with your decision!

17 hours ago, Berry78 said:

For the most part, it stems from fear. Fear of complications, fear that YOU'll begin regretting it..

My own family did the same thing.. they just want what's best for us...

This. All. Day.

I know that's it's dumb to need reassurance. I know I'm doing what's best for me. I shouldn't care what anyone thinks anymore. But I have to say, you all have made me feel SO much better! Lol. Thank you everyone for all the kind words and support. It's exactly what I needed. [emoji173]️[emoji173]️

34 minutes ago, sunflower71609 said:

I know that's it's dumb to need reassurance. I know I'm doing what's best for me. I shouldn't care what anyone thinks anymore. But I have to say, you all have made me feel SO much better! Lol. Thank you everyone for all the kind words and support. It's exactly what I needed. ️️

This is a huge step. It isn't dumb...it's a different kind of support from people who know first hand and you are welcome to it any time.

On 14/09/2017 at 6:17 AM, sunflower71609 said:

Anyone else have similar issues? How can I get them to see this is necessary for me to live a happier, healthier life?

It's NOT mandatory that people agree with your choice.

It's clearly you that has made the decision and has almost all the options for the future under your supervision and control.

Utilise ALL the support you need.

For your own benefit (from others' hindsight), be VERY SELECTIVE in who you tell or even WHEN you tell them.

Keep away from people with known negative outlooks on WLS as they will be NO help to you.

You should know by now which of your family, friends and work colleagues (if any) should be "in the know". Think before you speak/share.

My friend was initially unsupportive and concerned that I chose to go to Mexico. I told him to be supportive or shut up (yes, I was that blunt). After that he was much better, and his support was important for me after surgery when I was in a lot of pain.

Edited September 14, 20178 yr by MyBariatricLife

It was this way with my daughter. She's only saying it out of concern. But I told her if I could just "eat healthier" than I wouldn't be in the boat I'm currently in. I have tried and tried and tried. I told her I was tired of trying and then failing. So I did educate her on the risks, how things will be different, etc. She's still concerned but knows that I have researched this and I'm convinced of my decision.

23 hours ago, Apple203 said:

What would my 63 yo future self say to me if she had a time machine?

I was doing the same thing in reverse just days ago.

i.e. What would I (a morbidly obese 61 year old male Australian) say to my 15 year old (or 18 year old) self given temporary use of a time machine?

My four top answers would be:

1. Don't eat factory-generated breakfast cereals or any added sugars or sweeteners.

2. Moderate portion sizes are best and "seconds" should be a rare thing NOT your normal thing.

3. Soft drinks or carbonated drinks are unnecessary ... including all diet varieties.

4. Alcohol, especially beer, does not have to be central to social life or "winding down".

- - -

While I cannot guarantee that these four pillars will stop my adult overweight, I'm sure that I would not have reached 191.8kg (423 pounds OR 30.25 stones).

Five of my grandchildren had a dad that was 208kg (458 pounds) in January 2015 and is now 99kg (218 pounds) today following diet shakes for six months then Gastric Sleeving in late July 2015. In fact, it's his success that finally prompted me to go for Gastric Sleeve surgery myself.

He and my daughter do not want any of their five kids to repeat his life or mine. They operate under my first three advice points for their kids. My daughter and the youngest grandchild in that family are Coeliac as well. So food and eating and drinking sensibly are at the core of their daily life.

Everyone has issues like that.
People are always going to be unsupportive.
You need to do what is best for you.
It's not about losing some weight, it's about losing weight and keeping it off.
Anyone can lose some weight, but long term success is what matters.

Sent from my SM-G900V using BariatricPal mobile app

You hit it, its long term success that is the hard part.

Sent from my SM-G925V using BariatricPal mobile app

So....I'm new to the group. Will finish my insurance mandated diet October 18th and will schedule ds surgery for November. I've been working for months with doctors and have informed my family of the plans. Now that it's getting closer to the date they're all starting to say things like...."why not just eat healthier?" Or "are you sure you can go your whole life eating like that?"
Anyone else have similar issues? How can I get them to see this is necessary for me to live a happier, healthier life?

I definitely had this problem. I even wrote a post on it when i first joined this group awhile back. The first thing you have to do is get people out of your business. If you don't want them to comment, simply don't tell them what you're doing.

Because reality is you're going to have to eat better and exercise anyway so don't tell anyone anf get the credit for that. Those people are now going assume you're taking the easy way out, when you aren't.

My dad was like that and i literally didn't tell him until the day before. And that entire day he tried to talk me out of it, the idea of surgery scared him. I understood that, but i couldn't get him to understand why i was still making my choice so did what i wanted.


You will find support through these groups and also through workout classes and so on. You'll meet new people that will have no clue you had weight loss surgery, they just see you trying to be healthy and it will help a lot.

Stay positive and stay focused.