Yesterday, I was getting on a boat, for a lovely day out with my wife, when I noticed a little girl kept looking back at me and staring. I braced myself for the innocent comment from a small child that is not intended to hurt, but does nevertheless. Thankfully, she didn't say anything...but she didn't have to..the damage was done. I was once again very conscious of my size.

A few weeks back it happened at the gym when a young girl (maybe 4 y.o.) was staring at my legs...I knew it was coming and sure enough, she then commented to her mom about how big my legs are. (I'm still pre-op)...I very politely told the little girl that she hurt my feelings and it wasn't nice to point out how I'm different. She cried and her mom apologized and thanked me for being willing to teach her child (thank god she didn't get angry). The little girl apologized and I told her I forgave her and it was okay.

I really do get it. They don't often see women with my body shape...so I don't really fault the children...they are just trying to understand something that is very different. But damn it hurts every time... I look forward to the day when I'm just normal fat..I don't even care about thin...I just want to be small enough that children don't make me want to cry anymore.

1 hour ago, FluffyChix said:

I totally get this and I could have written this post! But I have to ask you, isn't this messed up? Why don't we (and you might, I just know I don't but should) look at so called "normies" food at restaurants or in shopping carts and say the same things, "Dude, don't you have any sense eating that way? Think of how it's crapping out your body inside!"

Sigh. (Not dishin' on you hon. Just asking the question for discussion--it should probably be its own topic.)

I agree...but I'd take this even further...why is it anyone's business what any of us, thin or fat, puts into our bodies? Why do people think it's okay to judge it? and even worse, comment on it! We all make our choices....and face our own consequences. I don't tell my thin friend who smokes that she should stop. I'm pretty sure she knows smoking is bad for her. Just like I know I'm overweight without anyone pointing it out for me.

1 hour ago, FluffyChix said:

I totally get this and I could have written this post! But I have to ask you, isn't this messed up? Why don't we (and you might, I just know I don't but should) look at so called "normies" food at restaurants or in shopping carts and say the same things, "Dude, don't you have any sense eating that way? Think of how it's crapping out your body inside!"

Sigh. (Not dishin' on you hon. Just asking the question for discussion--it should probably be its own topic.)

You're so right, if the observation is made w/ those who are overweight, why not be that way with all types of people? I feel, living in, what used to be the body of a 400 pd woman, my bond would be closer to those I've shared the struggle with. We must do better and most of us here, found that will to be want to be better. With that, I understand there is a process to getting to theat point, for me, it took a series of events and I'm happy I was awakened after the fact.

Wow, totally unprofessional. Both of those. Keep looking. I have a great therapist who basically guides me through self therapy. What she does is ask me very open ended questions and allows me to think for myself. This is important because I only see her one hour a month. The other 700+ hours a month, I need to be able to talk myself through stuff, right?

At one point, I was looking for a therapist just to help me work through the transitions I was/am going through. When I looked for a Dr., I asked if they work with bariatric patients, if not, I wasn't interested. Sadly, some "therapists", judge more than they help and it sounds like you found one of those. I'm sorry you were exposed to such asshats!

Edited August 31, 20179 yr by heycrystal2052

The first two I was very interested in making sure they had experience working with bariatric patients. Reportedly, they did. So I didn't even ask the one I'm seeing tonight. I decided compassion, kindness and intelligence were the most important qualities I wanted. But I think I will ask about her experience, if any, working with bariatric patients.

My experience with therapy after my RNY is not to promising. I went to a local therapist, she didn't have any experience with WL people. It was a joke. Then I contacted my Surgeon, and it was figured out that I have an aversion to food. It all started from having Strictures. I had 5 Endoscopes with 4 dilations. I couldn't even keep down water. My Surgeon was really concerned about my WL going to low!! He actually told me that I should eat Oatmeal even if it is a slider because I needed the protein to heal right. So I ask him to refer me to an BARIATRIC THERAPIST, which he did. So I drove 2 and 1/2 hours to see her. Her answer was this: You need to eat every 1/2 hour that you are awake!! And (get this) You need to use BOOST high calorie drink!! Now this girl just had her insides changed to lose weight!! How do you think I reacted!!! NO WAY. So up to my last Endo I struggled over and over with vomiting and feeling like I had food stuck in my throat. This was with very small amounts of food also. So I know that our mind plays with us hard. But....in my opinion even the BARIATRIC THERAPIST doesn't always have the answers to give us!! Thank Goodness I am alright now. It was trial and error for awhile but I'm ok and no worse for the wear. Just because they say that they are educated about certain categories doesn't mean they do. Pick and choose very closer!!

56 minutes ago, shedo82773 said:

My experience with therapy after my RNY is not to promising. I went to a local therapist, she didn't have any experience with WL people. It was a joke. Then I contacted my Surgeon, and it was figured out that I have an aversion to food. It all started from having Strictures. I had 5 Endoscopes with 4 dilations. I couldn't even keep down Water. My Surgeon was really concerned about my WL going to low!! He actually told me that I should eat oatmeal even if it is a slider because I needed the Protein to heal right. So I ask him to refer me to an BARIATRIC THERAPIST, which he did. So I drove 2 and 1/2 hours to see her. Her answer was this: You need to eat every 1/2 hour that you are awake!! And (get this) You need to use BOOST high calorie drink!! Now this girl just had her insides changed to lose weight!! How do you think I reacted!!! NO WAY. So up to my last Endo I struggled over and over with vomiting and feeling like I had food stuck in my throat. This was with very small amounts of food also. So I know that our mind plays with us hard. But....in my opinion even the BARIATRIC THERAPIST doesn't always have the answers to give us!! Thank Goodness I am alright now. It was trial and error for awhile but I'm ok and no worse for the wear. Just because they say that they are educated about certain categories doesn't mean they do. Pick and choose very closer!!

Is that something a therapist would assist with, that sounds like medical issues.

The STRICTURES are and was addressed by my Surgeon and OHSU a awesome Bariatric Excellence CENTER. They did my last ENDO and dialation. The Bariatric Therapist was trying to help me with my eating. After everything was going on I also developed a fear of eating and drinking. Mostly, she focused on my eating . Which I couldn't hardly hold down even water. Vomiting everything I took in. She had nothing to offer me. A WL person has went thru much to lose their weight as I'm sure you know about. The fear of gaining weight really plays a huge hold on me!! This fear had settled in quite nicely. (not for me but my mind) As you know the mind is a powerful thing, and to tell a person that has taken the steps to finally get healthy that I needed to eat every 1/2 hour felt unbelievable hard. Something that even a normal per say person who diets excessively which I have been there done that! Yes, it was two separate things going on. You would have thought the Nutritionist being in the Bariatric field should have picked up on this. I just haven't had anything come out of the counseling Both were like two difference. But equal to each other. Sorry, that I didn't explain better. I get started and my mind races faster than my typing. LOL

Well, I met the new therapist and Third time IS a charm! I loved this therapist!! Looking forward to working with her!

Yay! I'm happy for you.

Yay! I'm happy for you.

Thank you!