I had thought I understood that my surgeon would be setting my weight loss goal at our first post surgical appointment. I would swear the dietician I have been working with said that, that the surgeon would take into account my pre and post op weight loss, my historic weight highs and fluctuations, etc., and that we would come up with a goal together after surgery. But apparently I misunderstood. Talking to my surgeon Wednesday before discharge from the hospital, she said she doesn't do goals and believes firmly in letting my body find its balance. I have about 100 lbs to lose to get to the high end of a healthy BMI for my height, so I asked if once I reached a healthy BMI we would shift the diet to more of a maintenance mode rather than weight loss. She said that was totally unnecessary, that my body would shift into maintenance on its own at what it felt was the right time, with no conscious effort from me, that if I genuinely followed the diet plan, all would be ok without over-planning it.

I guess I have 2 questions:

* Has anyone else had a surgeon with this outlook? If so, how did it work for you?

* Do you have any suggestions for motivation without a concrete numeric goal? I think she would be similarly opposed to clothing size or inches. I had been looking toward entering normal BMI at 150 as a time to evaluate how far I have come, if I want to lose a bit more, or start re-introducing in small quantities items forbidden on my post-op diet while working toward goal (grains of any kind (rice/flour/etc), alcohol, treats, non-lean meats). If I am just supposed to stay on this super-strict post-op diet forever, that feels really mentally hard, and not what I had been hearing in the support group with other patients of the same surgeon.

The surgery went well and I am mobile and drinking ok, still have some very sharp pain from the two biggest incisions when I use my abdominals, but have pain meds to manage and it is better day after day. Since I am sleeping less today, I am starting to worry about this and the long term. I will definitely discuss with the surgeon at my August 31 followup, but I need some reassurance, I think, before then too.

I never asked my surgeon or nutritionist for a goal nor did they ask me. I haven't set one. It will be whenever I feel comfortable. That might not be right for everyone but it is right for me

My surgeon asked me my goal and then together we agreed on a more realistic. My original goal he felt was to drastic for my Height and build. He does not believe everyone 5'5" should by 135 for example.

2 minutes ago, SouthernGirl76 said:

My surgeon asked me my goal and then together we agreed on a more realistic. My original goal he felt was to drastic for my Height and build. He does not believe everyone 5'5" should by 135 for example.

Yes, that's what I was looking for. We are the same height and have similar starting weights. I tentatively am looking to 150 because it is the start of "normal" BMI, but I also know that BMI has its own flaws and limitations, and some things may be more or less realistic given my body and its history. The nurse who called to check on me post-op yesterday said that the dietician would be more willing to discuss that with me when I see her. But it sounds like the surgeon doesn't really approve. :/

I was never given a goal by my Surgeon. When we first met, he asked my HS weight, I told him and he said he felt I could get back to that weight. Which I have, but I was never given a set goal.

I think having a set WL goal early on is a bad idea. People get obsessed with it and it seems to cause a lot of stress and anxiety.

My goals were to lower my blood pressure and reverse my diabetes, which I did early on. Everything else is just a bonus.

I never set a goal with the surgeon. The nutritionist said I would probably level out between 175-204. I'm currently 210. I'm just aiming for below 200. As outsidematchinside stated I was just trying to get healthy. I'm off of 3 diabetes meds and 2 blood pressure meds. It has been a blessing.

I saw my primary care physician a few weeks ago. I weighed about 225 or so then. He said I had a long way to go and should get around 175. I was thinking more like 190. I've lost almost 100 lbs since pre-op. I'm 5 months out. I don't have too much loose skin. So I don't care to weigh 175. I'm just happy to be healthy and able to keep up with my 4 year old. That's pretty much all I wanted. Looking good is just a bonus.

HW 330
SW 292
CW 213
GW below 200

My surgeon did not give me a goal. He just told me to make sure I try not to gain any more weight before surgery and that he thinks I will lose about 100 lbs in six months.
I currently pre op. Will start liquid diet in 1 week. 5 ft 6 285 lbs.

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My surgeon feels the same. Our bodies decide on our own new set point.

Worked great for me. And didn't force any stress about not losing at the "right" rate or stalls or anything.

If you need a number set your own!

Thanks, everyone. My newbie nerves are real, and it is kind of you to take a moment and share your experience and perspective. My goal for having the surgery is focused on health, mobility/activity, and avoiding developing the cholesterol/blood sugar problems I was starting to inch toward which are so common in my family. The idea of a numeric goal, I think, was wanting a point where someone professional would say, "hey, you've done well, you're in a good place, you should feel free to switch to maintenance now and feel ok relaxing a little bit so long as you stay on the path." But, some of you have said and you are right that that is still about seeking outside validation. :deep breath:

My surgeon didn't discuss goals with me either. Which I'm cool with. I'm trying to just view this as one day at a time. I have given myself a mini goal, just get under 200 then maybe I'll set another mini... like get under 190... I just don't want an ultimate do or die kind of goal.


Band to SIPS/SA-DI/LOOP DS 8.8.17
HT: 5'6 HW: 242 SW: 226 CW: 212 GW: TBD

My surgeon/NUT/Nurse never set me a goal. We disscussed what my goal was. 6 weeks in. Steady weightloss is all they discuss.

Quote

super-strict post-op diet forever, that feels really mentally hard, and not what I had been hearing in the support group with other patients of the same surgeon."

- My plan is not super strict, i am in the uk, It seems plans are more strict abroad, but balanced diet is all I am required to do, been told not to do low carb. But its inevetable as you just do not feel like wasting tummy space with some foods even if its infront of you , you just eat meat , then veg, ignore potatoes. lol for me anyway 6 weeks in.

I have my goal of 135 ( 24+BMI) 5.2 will maybe lose 20lbs more to give myself space incase of bounceback or whatever.

Edited August 19, 20179 yr by dreamingsmall

3 hours ago, OutsideMatchInside said:

I was never given a goal by my Surgeon. When we first met, he asked my HS weight, I told him and he said he felt I could get back to that weight. Which I have, but I was never given a set goal.

I think having a set WL goal early on is a bad idea. People get obsessed with it and it seems to cause a lot of stress and anxiety.

My goals were to lower my blood pressure and reverse my diabetes, which I did early on. Everything else is just a bonus.

Weldone! I alsohad the reduce blood preasure, i had melignent hypertention, blured vision headaches, on high dose of meds. was completely of my meds in under 2 weeks , because my bp was going low ! so amazing. i have not even lost much but the change is just amazing

6 hours ago, SpindleCity said:

Yes, that's what I was looking for. We are the same height and have similar starting weights. I tentatively am looking to 150 because it is the start of "normal" BMI, but I also know that BMI has its own flaws and limitations, and some things may be more or less realistic given my body and its history. The nurse who called to check on me post-op yesterday said that the dietician would be more willing to discuss that with me when I see her. But it sounds like the surgeon doesn't really approve. :/

Howdully he will see what you come up with and advise from there! Good luck and we will cheer each other on!!! ???

Thanks, everyone. My newbie nerves are real, and it is kind of you to take a moment and share your experience and perspective. My goal for having the surgery is focused on health, mobility/activity, and avoiding developing the cholesterol/blood sugar problems I was starting to inch toward which are so common in my family. The idea of a numeric goal, I think, was wanting a point where someone professional would say, "hey, you've done well, you're in a good place, you should feel free to switch to maintenance now and feel ok relaxing a little bit so long as you stay on the path." But, some of you have said and you are right that that is still about seeking outside validation. :deep breath:

Yes!!! Remember that health is your goal!

Honestly most of the research is coming out to say your body will stop on its own and you will transition into maintenance. You will gradually increase your calories all along and there will come a point where it's a struggle to lose... like ANY NORMAL PERSON. The last 10-20 will be vanity pounds not health pounds and you may lose them you may not.

And healthy eating and moderation that fits with your body/genetics/ethics and lifestyle will make maintenance easy too IF you listen to your new set point. If you want to lose the vanity pounds, good on you, but the health pounds are most important. No external validation needed.

Worrying about the future is 'borrowing' trouble, you don't want this to be a 'I have to get to goal ' battle or you might feel like a failure if you struggle long and hard to get to a number. So many factors will influence your end goal - health, heredity, lifestyle, etc. So relax and take the journey, appreciate all the steps, and follow the guidelines and be good to yourself. It's not willpower - that suggests you are deficient and have to correct a defect, it's commitment to yourself which is a positive - like committing to school or marriage....good luck.

Edited August 20, 20179 yr by Sosewsue61