Hello everyone,

I had said I would start exercising when I hit 280, which will be approaching and I need to plan. I am more anxious about going to a gym than I was about the surgery. I haven't walked into a gym since 1993! I have thought about hiring a personal trainer, but I don't want to feel ashamed/embarrassed or uncomfortable. Has anyone dealt with this and how did you deal with it? do you have any recommendations? I do walk a fair amount, live in NYC and deal with walking, subways, stairs, etc all the time, but that is not the same as working out.

looking forward to hearing who else dealt with this and how you dealt with it.

Thank you!

I don't want to dissuade you from going to gym, I think it's the best thing to get out there and start working out. I just want to give my opinion - which is probably not worth much. But here it is anyway...I found that walking is all I needed to do. Walk walk walk. Not a little walking. I get my 10 -14k steps in a day. I started slow and now I'm jogging. When I go to the gym I feel like it's a chore, I'm embarrassed, it takes a long time, I deal with the locker room, changing, finding the machines, figuring them out, using them, feeling ridiculous because I could barely do much, go to the next machine, repeat internal and external process.

So I just get home from work, change my shoes, grab my ear buds and go. I walk for 30 minutes mid-day at work and then at least an hour when I get home. I started jogging on my evening walks about 3 weeks ago. Just walk walk walk. Breath the outside air, let the sun be absorbed into your skin, listen to boppy, happy music and enjoy.

The gym is very effective for many people, but for me I found it to be ineffective and demotivating. Good luck to you, it's so exciting to be at this juncture!!!!

Edit: Stupid me!! I just realized you wrote that you already walk and want to do more. lol! ignore me!

Edited June 14, 20179 yr by LittleLizzieLilliput

@BigViffer has some extensive gym knowledge. Hopefully he can share some good info with you.

Following.
I suffer from gym phobia too.
I want to walk but I'd have to do it in the morning. Too hot.

When trying to decide if you want to join a gym, the most important thing is to be honest with yourself about why you are going. Do you want to go to the gym because that's what you're "supposed" to do? Let's go over some of the reasons to join a gym:

1. Duh, once you have the surgery, you are supposed to go to the gym in order to exercise and lose weight.
   • Actually, diet is what is going to allow you to lose the weight. The extra movement of course will help, but exercise is more about maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
2. I want to avoid saggy skin and I heard that exercising will help the skin go back to a young 20 something hard bodies skin!
   • Sorry, the only way to get tight skin is to either back fill with a metric ****-ton of muscle or plastic surgery. Some people on here look fantastic in their pictures, but unless they had surgery they are going to have scars, stretch marks, or saggy skin.
3. I want to get out of my comfort zone and maybe make some new friends.
   • Actually, this is a great reason to go to the gym. As long as it doesn't become the sole reason for your attendance. Zumba, yoga, pilates, elipticals... all of these things made us self concious because of bouncing fat or hanging bellies. Now we will be able to participate in these activities and will see the results very quickly. It is an intoxicating experience. Believe me.
4. I want to gain endurance. I'm tired of being tired walking up a flight of stairs.
   • Another good reason to start going to the gym! After just a few pounds lost, you will be amazed at how much less winded you will be.
5. I want to get strong.
   • This is me. I had so many stupid injuries in my past that I wanted to do it right this time.

In regards to personal trainers, allow me to quote myself:

On 11/1/2016 at 0:06 PM, BigViffer said:

I mentioned it before, but I just want to reiterate: Be careful with "personal trainers". Some are just gym rats and meatheads that attended a seminar while others actually have an education. If the trainer has a background in physical therapy, then I would say go for it. If they have no significant credentials, be prepared for overly sore muscles, poor technique, and supplement sales pitches.

Also, remember than all machines are isolation exercises. You will not be training your body in a real world method. Leg presses are good for those people that literally cannot perform the physical motion of a squat for any number of reasons. If you can get into a proper squat position with a broom stick across your back, then you are better off doing that than 50lbs on a leg press machine. Here is a great blog article about the squat:

https://overld.me/2014/07/28/stop-the-press/

Near the end, the guy does mention that the press is still a valid exercise for the beginner or the advanced lifter. But it is a distant second to the squat.

So yeah... not a fan of them.

I know the weight room can be intimidating. Especially for women. Meatheads are assholes to new guys and they are absolute insufferable to women. They will mock the new members trying to get into shape and the leer at the ones that are attractive. I know I had to deal with it in the beginning when I was working with 10lbs dumbells. Of course, now that I am bench pressing more than these guys can deadlift they don't have much to say.

The best thing you can do for yourself at the gym is to have a plan. Read, research, question, and read some more. Don't believe something on the internet. If you want to become the cardio queen, go to a bookstore and buy a book on running. That will at least have to have had a proof reader and more than likely a fact checker. Forums are a poor source of information. If you are wanting to get into weightlifting, go to the book store and look for Starting Strength or The Barbell Prescription. The latter is my preferred book. Starting Strength is the bible for strength training, but it is fairly rigid and assumes you want to become a power lifter. Barbell Prescription is about how it can improve your life.

I'm getting a little longwinded here. If you have a specific set of questions, go ahead and post them and tag me in the post so I know you want more input.

Thank you so much for this. I have a lot to think about. I haven't worked out in years and I want to be stronger. I'm just not sure the gym is right for me.

I felt the same, when I started to go to the gym. I was so self-conscious. I now love going and don't care what people think of me. I have actually had people come up to me and tell me to keep up the good work.

Well since BigViffer chimed in I think that about covers it! Lol. I have got back in the gym myself and while I have days were I have to make myself get up and go I can honestly say I look forward to it more often than not though. I do have a trainer but like BigViffer pointed out do your homework and be realistic with yourself about expectations. Understand that results take time and dedication. Oh one more thing... thanks for being an inspiration BigViffer!

Edited June 14, 20179 yr by jmar23

If going to the gym is going to make you miserable. Don't go. I was burning like an extra 500-1000 calories last year just playing Pokemon and walking to hatch my eggs. There are lots of ways to exercise and be active.

Going to the gym is just a way to mimic being active in a way that people used to naturally be active. Going to work out in a gym is a relatively new concept in human history. Most people were active enough in their daily life (and their portions were in control) that they did not work out formally.

If you can't trust yourself to work out on your own and you need structure. I suggest finding a Crossfit Gym. The classes are basically small group personal training. The exercises are tailored to your ability, as you get stronger and fitter, you adjust.

At the Cross Fit gym near my home, there are ladies in their 70s and super ripped guys (the reason I go ), and then everyone in between.

I hate being indoors so gyms aren't for me. the only way I tolerate Cross Fit is because most of the time the doors (think like garage doors) are open.

At home I do weights and yoga on my deck and I walk in the park and in my neighborhood. Now that is is summer, I kayak and ride my bicycle.

I think the whole idea you have to go to a gym holds a lot of people back from being active.

I want to reply about the gym,i started to the gym before my surgery which is July 17th,i am really enjoying it,yes it takes time but think of it as your time,if you are going through all this you need to make time for yourself anyway,i am doing things I never thought I could do.






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Don't be afraid of the gym! You're there just like other people to get healthy. A lot of people will offer advice and show you the correct way to do exercises. They're happy your there getting healthy too. If you can afford a trainer, look for a local small specialty gym. Usually there is two or three people around. Once you're confident, go to the big label gym.

I joined the gym at my hubby's work. It is a small gym and there aren't a lot of people there at any given time. With that said, I went once and haven't been back. I have hang ups about it and will need to get over it. However, I am going to get over it in my own time. We only pay $15 a month so it's not a financial burden. I would probably feel more comfortable if my hubby went with me. He works rotating shifts and I work M-F so our schedules don't always jive. He is always more than willing to walk with me though.

Do you have a friend to go with you? Several years ago, I went to a "meathead" gym with a co-worker. We did our cardio together and neighboring machines together. When we had to go into the free weight room, we went together like two young school girls. It made us both feel more comfortable and I was in the best shape I had been in a long time.

Fitness is an important part but I agree with what others have said about walking. You can start out at a more leisurely pace but you also need to challenge yourself as you continue. Good luck! Maybe we will both find the courage to conquer the gym.

I go to the gym 6 days a week.
I have membership at several gyms for one low price.
I go to certain gyms for water aerobics and I go to other gym
For cardio. I love it[emoji3]!!!
I am losing weight very good!


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Thanks for the replies - firstly, I do think I am pursuing this for the "right reasons" - it's been really useful to engage with this - from looking at what I want to accomplish and recognizing that a lot of my anxiety is really nothing else than dealing with something that is new and unfamiliar to me.

So I will be acting in spite of the nerves and pursuing what I want - strength, well being and vitality.

Best wishes everyone!

On 2017-06-15 at 1:42 PM, Kat410 said:

Thanks for the replies - firstly, I do think I am pursuing this for the "right reasons" - it's been really useful to engage with this - from looking at what I want to accomplish and recognizing that a lot of my anxiety is really nothing else than dealing with something that is new and unfamiliar to me.

So I will be acting in spite of the nerves and pursuing what I want - strength, well being and vitality.

Best wishes everyone!

I'm not a "gym person" so haven't really made that step yet, but I did go from couch potato to getting more active, and honestly, it can be sooooooo intimidating, especially for someone who has been fat, who was teased in PE class, bullied by jocks, yadda yadda yadda...

Every new activity I've tried, I've enlisted a friend. Swing dancing classes I found a girlfriend I knew was into vintage fashion. Swimming I go with my mom. Soccer, I go with my husband. Having someone go with you helps you feel less alone and awkward.

The other thing I've found helped is just being honest with people about your emotions. Yes the world is full of meathead jerks and judgy types, but it is also filled with people who are kind and supportive and genuinely want to welcome newbies into their world.

"I haven't played soccer since high school so I'm a little intimidated but I want to try my best!" earned me a lot of support and encouragement from the rest of the team. "This is my first time ever doing a dance class, I hope I can keep up!" had me commiserating with fellow newbie dancers and getting gentle guidance from more experienced dance partners.

And honestly, the more you do it, the easier it gets. And I don't just mean "I've been to three dance classes now so I'm not as scared of going to my fourth dance class" but also "I've been to three dance classes now so when a friend of mine invites me to do a 5k with her I feel up to the challenge because I know I'm capable of trying new things."

Overcoming my fears and insecurities has been even more rewarding to me than seeing the number on the scale go down, honestly. I feel like I am really living my life more fully than I did before.

You can do this! The fear is real but the rewards are great!

Edited June 19, 20179 yr by teacupnosaucer

OK - so here's the update on my gym anxiety!

I did some soul searching and initially the most important factor in deciding what I was going to do and how I would approach this is having a plan that I would actually COMPLY with. As a busy New Yorker, where my primary form of exercise is commuting to work and walking to the park on Sundays it was critical that I would not have to take a subway to the gym, a subway home to change, deal with changing at work, etc because that is almost something I certainly would not have followed initially.

It turns out there is a boutique personal training studio/fitness studio two doors down from me. I asked around the neighborhood, checked them out, spoke with one of the owners on the phone and decided to do a mix of personal training and weekly classes (personal training 2x/week, classes 1x a week). The owner was generous with his time, I was open and honest about my current health/level of activity and lack of knowledge in how to approach fitness.

Today was my initial assessment and the person I am working with is great. I am happy, proud and inspired to have taken this step on. I have a new context for my fitness - which is there is really no place to go but up (which I hadn't really considered before, but it's kind of cool to get that is one of the benefits of starting at zero).

There are a couple of things that made a difference in taking this step - and it was a big step for me. The first thing was being honest with myself about what I would and wouldn't do at this point in my journey. The second was acknowledging that I don't know what the $%&# I'm doing and deciding to take the coaching from someone who does know what they are doing. Then finally giving up my drama about being too out of shape to exercise.

The experience of working with the trainer today was outstanding. I communicated openly and honestly and he did the same. I asked about what realistic expectations. The experience of being in the class. He communicated openly about what he saw that I could build on and where I was starting at scratch. We discussed medical history, past injuries, my current diet, what sports I had played in the past, what my goals were. I even conquered my fear of squats.

Here we go! Onward and upward!